In the entire span of Jewish history, one of the most massive and frightening revelations of Hashem as our King of strict justice was the Holocaust. Yet even in the depths of Gehinnom, there were some who connected with Hashem as a friend.
Leslie “Eluzar” Kleinman, now of England, grew up as a young boy in Satmar. He was the son of the local Dayan and was the oldest of many children. The fateful spring 1944 day came when his family was rounded up and sent to Auschwitz. Leslie was tall and well built for a 14 year old, so when he got off of the cattle car he was approached by one of the inmates and asked, “How old are you?”
“Fourteen,” Leslie replied.
“You aren’t fourteen, you are seventeen,” the man instructed. So while the rest of his family was sent to the left to their final destination, “seventeen” year old Leslie was sent to the right.
Life in Auschwitz was particularly miserable for young Leslie. Aside from the starvation and suffering, he was terribly lonely and needed someone to talk to. He approached a few different people but was rebuffed, as each man simply had no energy to shmooze with him. Leslie turned his eyes Heavenward and said, “Hashem, I have no friends in the entire world. Will you be my friend?” Leslie recounts, “Hashem was my friend all the way through to liberation.”
Leslie promised Hashem that if he made it through the war, he would go to Yeshiva. After liberation, Leslie made his way to a Yeshiva in England where he stayed for a year.
When it came time for Leslie to find a shidduch, he had great difficulty. None of the local men would let their daughter date this poor survivor. Leslie strayed far from Yiddishkeit, but he never completely forgot his “Friend.” Eventually, as an elderly man, Leslie found his way back with the help of Rabbi Barr who accepted him with love. Leslie now travels throughout England and Europe and even back to the Auschwitz to help connect young people, with Leslie’s old “Friend,” Hashem.
Twenty three years ago, at the levaya of Rav Shimon Schwab, one of Rav Schwab’s children was maspid him as someone who they as children could rely upon, a friend to them. Subsequently, a certain respected Rosh Yeshiva made a public macha’ah, repudiating this idea to his students. This hesped and its response created major waves among some of the bochurim with whom I went to Yeshiva.
In Parshas Re’eh, in the section dealing with a maysis, the Torah warns us not to listen to a maysis, even “rayacha asher kenafshicha,” your friend who is like your soul. Rashi quoting the Sifri states that this is referring to one’s father. The Torah clearly identifies one’s father as a friend. While it would seem from here that Rav Shwab’s son was correct, the Rosh Yeshiva who protested was also correct. The Torah mandates that one have ‘yirah,’ reverence for one’s father, something not required from a regular friend.
Our relationship with our parents is juxtaposed to our relationship to Hashem by the Gemara in Kiddushin (30 B). In a home where there is respect for parents, there is the presence of the Shechina. It has been said that if a child cannot love or trust his parents in this world, he will be unable to develop that love or trust with his Father in Shamayim. So if in fact there is a Torah source for being friends with your father, could one be friends with Hashem?
Again we turn to the Gemara (Shabbos 31) for our answer. The prospective Ger approaches Hillel and demands that he be taught the entire Torah on one foot. Hillel responds simply, “What is hateful to you don’t do to your friend. The rest is commentary, go and learn it.” Rashi there states in his first approach that the friend whom Hillel was referencing was none other than our friend, Hashem. This is the same Hashem who we must have the ultimate reverence for, yet we must make Him our friend.
The mesorah of the Yeshivos and of the Baalei Mussar is to approach Elul and the Yamim Noraim through the lens of Aimas Hadin, fear of the strict days of judgement that are approaching. This is the essence of Malchuyos. And while this is proper and appropriate, there are some of us who are not quite holding there. The thought process has become something like the following:
“Please Hashem, just leave me alone and let me be and I promise I’ll behave for the next 40 days. I won’t even forward anything that I shouldn’t on whatsapp.”
But what if we took a slightly different approach?What if we viewed these awesome days as an opportunity to spend time with an old friend?
Imagine you grew up with a friend with whom you had spent much time. You shared everything, went everywhere together, etc. This friend was there for you in so many ways. As you aged, however, you slowly drifted apart. One day, you got a call from your old friend. “Hi, I’ll be in town for about 5 and 1/2 weeks. Let’s spend some time together just like the old days.” What would you say?
This is Elul and Yamim Noraim. Our best friend wants to spend time with us. Meaningful, quality time where we can accomplish so much. “Seek out Hashem where He can be found, call out to Him when He is close.”
“Hashivaynu Hashem Aylecha Venashuva, Chadaysh Yamainu Kikedem.”
Rabbi Meir Goldberg is the Director of Meor Rutgers Jewish Xperience at Rutgers University.