Every night hard-working people get home and look forward to an evening where they can relax and rejuvenate themselves by spending time with their spouses and children. And every evening, without fail, calls come in. Not from friends, family or neighbors, but from people soliciting money for organizations. It’s usually not one call either, but a minimum of three or four. I recently counted the number of calls I received on a random Tuesday night – eight! It’s ridiculous.
In no way am I saying that the organizations that are making the calls are not worthy – to the contrary. I believe the majority of them truly need the help of everyday people so that they can continue serving the community each in their particular and unique way. These organizations and leaders deserve our endless admiration and gratitude, and of course our monetary contributions as well.
But that doesn’t take away from the fact that these calls are becoming unbearable and need to be phased out. It’s understandable why they are calling – many organizations bring in solid chunks of money that way. But everyone is doing it now, to the point of nausea. Between meshulachim knocking at the door and phone calls, at times it can be difficult just do to homework with the kids.
Yes, I know these are first-world, 21st century problems and my complaining comes from being spoiled. I should probably have more empathy and be nice and courteous to everyone trying to contact me for funds. But there comes a point when it’s just not possible. Sometimes I feel like I spend more time on the phone with solicitors than with my children. It’s a sad reality.
There’s a saying that chesed starts at home. It starts with helping your spouse and being there for your children. Chesed is about helping others, and if you aren’t available for those that are closest to you, are you really there for anyone at all? I am pretty sure I am not speaking only for myself when I say that the calls are taking a toll on my ability to be there for my family.
So to all the wonderful organizations out there: we love you. Really. But please, for goodness sake, find another way to fundraise. If you send me something in the mail I would gladly write a check. Just stop calling me at home and taking me away from my kids. It’s just not right. Be better.
I totally agree. Its gotten so bad that we dont even abswer answer our phone anymore. And the yiddish calls i dont even know what their saying! Please stop!!! Its HARRASMENR
Well as you yourself admit these campaigns are successful which indicates that most other people are empathetic with the causes.
To quote Rabbi Pesach Krohn “I don’t have rachmanus on the people I’m calling for money, I have rachmanus on the parents of children crying for food”
Now that doesn’t mean you always have to take the call, you can kindly say I only accept these phone calls between 7:00 – 7:15.
The influx of calls & meshulachim should make someone with a heart cry not nauseous. Now I don’t mean to say you don’t have a heart but these causes deserve more empathy
Sorry – disagree. You quote Rabbi Krohn but use the quote out of context. Rabbi krohn is referring the the people he personally calls (which I am sure he does at a proper time). He is not at all referring to the non stop robo automated calls that don’t even have a human to talk to. This calls are wrong, disgusting, shameful and have no place in our camps. I cannot tell a robo machine call when I am available or when is a good time to call nor can I speak with anyone on an automated robo call. These irritating and terrible calls are not just for money, they announce events, they tell you who to vote for, they let you know about some amazing sale somewhere etc. These must stop.
As for calls from live people who represent Mosdos or are paid solicitors, they too must be mindful of when they call and how they speak.
So yes – robo automated calls rightfully do make people nauseous and they must stop. They cross all the lines of derech eretz, kovod habriyos and menchlechkeit. having your phone ring all night when they are not even human beings calling is outright disgusting.
I for one no longer support any organizations who robo call me. Everyone should so maybe it will stop. I don’t want reminders, or solicitors or announcements from automated robo calls. If you cannot respect people enough to personally call them then they shouldnt respect you or anything you are promoting
I have simple solution – my kids know I dont answer any of their calls while I am with them. My kids will pick up and say Im not available and they see how much they mean to me. And when I am available the kids see me giving tzedaka! win win situation! all is good my friend!
Feel so jealous of you if this is your issue in life
Agreed. The calls are.pit of control. Most in Yiddish.
And stop calling after 9:00.
Kids and older people get woken up.
Gezel sheyna can not be paid back.
I get calls as late as 10:40.
Rabbi kron was a tremendous bal rachamim. If he thought for one second that he was waking up a family of sleeping kids. Or disturbing a sick child at 9:00 at night he wouldnt do it. Besides, rabbi kron was a tzaddik, not a posek!
woops – wrong Rabbi Krohn
The Rabbi Krohn referenced here is BH alive and well and is Rabbi Paysach Krohn. The Rabbi Krohn you are referring to was his brother Rav Kolman Krohn ZTL.
Just imagine for one minute if your family was in need of funds and these wonderful organizations were working tirelessly to help you out would it bother you as well ???
As far as your issue that your busy with your kids , did you ever think of just not answering ???
When you go out on a trip with your family do you put your phone away it is it just the fundraiser calls that your too busy to answer ???
@yeh
I’m not understanding you is there something wrong with being a tzadik. And Rabbi Pesach Krohn is BH still alive till 120.
Oh and also you can turn the ringer off in your bedroom.
As late as 10:45, they burst onto my answering machine in a volume so loud, it terrifies the kids who don’t even understand the words. (Understanding Yiddish doesn’t mean you understand the chassidishe fast booming jargon.)
There are a lot of organizations in Lakewood because they are doing wonderful things and helping lots of people that need help in so many ways. Organizations can’t run without the community’s support. Now, if every mosad will send a meshulach to meet you as you park your car, before you come home, I could understand it would be really out of hand. But phone calls? we can decide when we can or can not answer the phone. Sending envelopes would be a great alternative but the reason organizations call is because most people don’t respond to mail. Everyone is busy but lets have a bit of feelings for the people that can’t sleep at night because they can’t pay their bills or because of a illness in the family r”l or …
To me this article sounds extremely selfish, to say the least.
These are all great points, but the number of phone call that we all get are out of hand. Avi thank you for having the courage to vocalize this.
We recently disconnected our home phone because 9 out of 10 calls were soliciting funds.
I think in 2019 we should come up with better technology solution on how organizations can reach out to potential donors in a less disturbing and intrusive way.
To The Article Writer,
Please remember that the many organizations who call your house are all helping Klal Yisroel. So, while the calls may disturb you – please keep in mind that these calls generate the much needed funds to keep the wonderful organizations afloat….
To all the wonderful organizations,
Please keep calling!! Your work is holy & you should see continued Hatzlocha!! Don’t stop!!
My daughter and many of her high school friends volunteered hours of their time to make calls on behalf of one of the organizations this week. Perhaps a few minutes of your time can be put in context. Halevai you should never need this organizations services. In a perfect world you, and others like you would donate without being called but unfortunately that doesn’t happen…
Everything has to be in the right amount.
I have received calls from organizations once or twice a year from a live person who respectfully requests if it is a convenient time. And I happily give.
I have also received automated calls dozens of times a year, automated, at the most inconvenient times. And I have not been so fast to give them, regardless of the good work they do.
Could not agree more. There has to be a better way!!!
A few points (there are many more).
1) No one needs your money. Hashem could give them as much as they need. he doesnt so that he can be mezake you.
2) If you are unable or uninterested in the zchus than for a few $ you can probably buy some sort of answering machine that can screen your calls without disturbing your family. Perhaps consider the same one you would use if you were waiting for an important call that was going to give you money but you did not want it to disturb your family.
3)Keep in mind that many of the organizations that call you are probably benefiting you or your extended family members who are not paying enough to cover the services that they are providing.
To all those baale tzedaka who make themselves available and who otherwise communicate how and when they can be reached and who convey that they feel it is a zchus to give: I’m am in awe of your behavior and zchusim. You should be gebenched.
I got a themed Mishloach Manos about telemarkers and their fundraising tactic. Best idea ever. Finally a way to laugh at this crazy problem.
Happy to give tzedakah. Wish there was a better way.