Police are investigating after multiple high-end vehicles were stolen overnight in Toms River.
Video surveillance at multiple locations show suspects attempting to enter vehicles in search or keys, but when they couldn’t find them in the vehicles, they allegedly broke into the homes.
”Let readers know never to leave keys in open view near your home’s entrances,” a neighbor said,
Anyone with information is asked to call the Toms River Police Department.
“Apparently the car thieves were reacting to legislation introduced this week by the Lakewood Township to increase penalties for car thefts,” a Toms River Police official told reporters on Thursday, according to fictitious and non existent sources. “They’re trying to steal and sell as many cars as they can – as fast as they can – to avoid facing the new stiff penalties that will likely be implemented all across the state.”
Upon hearing the police official’s assessment, one of the car thieves, who spoke to reporters on condition of anonymity, said: “Wow! THAT fellow is a mind reader of the first order!”
Upon sensing what the thief told reporters, the police official smiled widely and told reporters: “It’s crazy, but all my life, my detractors have been telling me: ‘It’s all in the mind!’ How right they are!”
Just leave the car keys in the car unlocked so the thieves won’t have to break into one’s home.