Minyan Shelanu: Single Girls Asked Not Attend Annual Lag Ba’omer Event

lag baomer fire.JPG minyanIn an effort to keep this year’s Lag Ba’omer Barbecue/Raffle event a fun and spiritual event for all, Minyan Shelanu asks that no single girls attend the event. The Minyan has also requested that TLS inform all women attending the event, to comply with the strict rules of Tznius set forth by the Minyan.

The event, which will be taking place 5pm Sunday evening at the parking lot of the Blue Claws Stadium, will offer free food followed by music and dancing.

The event will conclude with their annual $10,000 raffle.

To view photos from last year’s event, click here. TLS.

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  1. How many of these girls were looking forward to go, so sad to be treated like second class humans. they should be allowed to go, just doesn’t make any sense. I feel sorry for them

  2. no not bad but gigls do not belong at a yeshivas party and if cant understand this your fooling no one but yourself and good luck to u raising your own kids

  3. We respect our single girls almost as much as you do. We don’t even have the lovely institution of a (moderated). Please continue to educate us on moral standards and proper behavior.

  4. Is Christian also Catholic? If so, you can understand our preference for our daughters wearing school uniforms albeit with somewhat longer skirts.

  5. Though the TLS is an open forum for all of the Lakewood community, it is somewhat focused on issues and events relating to its Orthodox Jewish readership. L’chora. I’m always amazed at the tone of some accusatory comment posts that demand answers for customs and behaviors foreign to them, and that imply the necessity to defend those positions. It’s a bit arrogant.

  6. to joe lakewood I agree with you, all single girls should have their own function, this way they don’t feel left out, sounds like a wonderful idea everyone one should be able to enjoy themselves

  7. 11:

    Firstly, some of the people posting may not be Jewish. And unless we have the opportunity to speak directly with these people, there’s no way to accurately explain the reasons and importance of these practices. For this reason I believe this is the wrong place to distribute such messages. I have no problem whatsoever with the Minyan’s request. To the contrary, this is how it should be. However, having non-Jewish or non-frum readers see such a bluntly worded request on what some might consider to be a sensitive issue, in my opinion is not such a good idea.

  8. I don’t feel a need to defend our religious practices. I am a Jewish girl and I know I am cherished. No other religion treats their women with such love and protects them to such an extent from being “used”. And no other religion sings Aishes Chayil to their wives every friday night. It would solve so many problems if everyone treated their precious women the way Judaism does. All this second -class business is coming from obviously uneducated sources.

  9. to all my non Kosher friends. The editor of the TLS is Orthodox but more important is a class person. I am not a relative or Orthodox but if you knew the person and not brand him you would feel the same way about all the residents of Lakewood.
    Why do we brand people for what reason.
    Life is way to short, be happy-treat your fellow man with respect.

  10. To all fellow citizens (& illegals):
    clarification: It is customary and therefore understandable, in the orthodox Jewish community, for males and females not to mix/mingle. Whether at Synagogue, dance parties, etc.
    In various situations there may be different reasonings. However, it generally boils down to the basis of the issue of the Jewish laws of modesty- of which we take great pride!

  11. Since it is customary for the orthodox Jewish community not to mingle together, girls and guys, this is not an issue most Jewish girls feel like second class citizens. There right to vote etc was not taken away. We do not attend co-ed schools and this is what we are used to. The problem is the married women that are attending, have to make sure to be on their highest level of Tznius.

  12. To Rabbi Chaim Yisroel Abadi shlit”a
    Chazak V’ematz!! G-d should give u the strength to continue all your wondeful CHESED!

    To everyone else:
    How many people have parnasah thru ur help?
    How many marriages have u saved?
    How many people have u taught savlanus to?
    How many people are religious today thru u?
    How many people stayed in yeshiva thru u?
    How many people went back to yeshiva thru ?
    How many girls are frun eishes chayils thru u?
    How many boys daven thru u?
    How many people put on tefilin bec. of u?
    How many people smile bec. of u?
    How many lives did u have a positive effect on?
    ETC. ETC.

    If you’ve answered ‘one person’ to even only one of the above questions – ashrecha!

    PLEASE realize that Rabbi Abadi can answer EVERY Single question (above) with HIGH numbers, bli ayin harah.

    He will continue…… Grab the opportunity to help him help us (u & me). This a rare opportunity. Anyone who knows Rabbi A. -knows that he wouldnt ask anyone to do something if it,s something that he can pull thru himself in his 25 hour days.

  13. to hamster 16

    you wrote
    “…the married women have to be on the highest level of tznius.”

    Of course! Just like in any other scenario! What’s your chiddush? Are you just hokkin?

  14. TO #17 “Jewish Girl”

    very good insight. thank you.

    to the other commentators:
    i think people need to pay attention to their own customs, and levels of respect towards women they themselves exemplify. Life is not fair, and no religion is either. So lets not criticize what we dont know/understand. Right off the bat, this did sound some what wrong- but nothing outrageous. I THINK THE SPOILED FREEDOM DEMANDING BRATS RUNNING AROUND IN HOLLYWOOD, ARE A BIGGER CRIME AGAINST SOCIETY/HUMANITY- then not allowing single girls to attend this event.

  15. com on guys! the ebay auction to make de hodlooka by minyan shelanu is only holding @ $405.
    It looks like I may end up lighting it. Yippeeeeeeeeee

  16. single boys and even yungerleit should also not attend a medura
    in Lakwood. I am sure Reb Ahron zt”l would not approve bnei torah
    to be mevatel talmud torah for a sefardic minhag in Eretz Yisrael

  17. to# 27
    lets not criticize what you don`t understand , your sons and your daughters are beyond your command, oh the times they are a`chainging!!!!

  18. if single girls are asked not to show up , then why cany avi ask shoppers who use wic to shop earlier in the week. u. cant have it both ways.

  19. I am a do not think it is necessary to make separate bon fires for girls. We have our own fun and although many girls grumble that we are left out of Simchas Torah ,Purim dancing ect. honestly, most girls would not want to join .
    People like complaining.

  20. being that this whole fire thing was listed on ebay then why not have a virtual bon fire online. (under supervision of course) this way. everyone can virtually be there with out and issues

  21. Does “single” mean “young” or just unmarried because my grandmother wants to come and she isn’t married anymore. I think she is more tzniusdik than some of the married ladies I’ve seen there. I think the guidelines need to be more clear as to who can come and who can not.

  22. i agree that not only single girls should not attend rather even married ladies should not come. Sorry to say but the young lakewood mommys in general need a lot of chizuk in tznius. They think that if there covering there elbows and knees thier all set. WELL i hate to break this to you many of you are the furthest thing from tznius. Even if your kid is in the best cheder and your husband has the best chavrusa Face it you are prust and causing bachurim and all men to sin and every one is on you. almost every food place during the day in lakewood is full of these ladies and Rav Aaron Kotler zatzal would tell you to your face leave lakewood just get out this place is not for you go back to where you came from.

  23. i was planning to come so that i can check out the bochurim of R’ Abadi’s kehilla take part in a beautiful mitzva and to see if maybe one of them is nogeya for a shidduch for me or maybe shayach for a single cousin i have too.
    however,i do respect the request and will not attend…i guess shadchanim are the proper way to go anyway.
    also,everyone should shop in fashion stop..best tznius clothing!

  24. to 43 (above)
    base on your comment: YOU obviously take very careful notice of the ‘specifics’ of the mode of dress of the nashim tzidkaniyos of Lakewood (yea – t[hheones with the covered elbows, etc.) YOU obviously fffrequent restaurants in Lakewood. YOU are on the internet.. Blah, Blah, Blah..
    If Rav A. Kotler would be alive, he would tell YOU to your face to leave Lakewood.

    I’m not saying that I disagree with eEVERYthing u spewed……but your negative anti semitic atitude stinks.

  25. to #46
    you are right i have what to work on but i think i am just saying the truth and its a little hard for you to digest so you had to throw that little insult but its ok one day you will understand may hashem be with you allways

  26. to #43 and #46. The tachlis in life for a Jewish Woman is not to be a Barbie Doll. The face that some act like one is a nichshol for the men. By the way the ones with the $3000 shetiel and the skirt slightly above the knee are the real problem ones. Why do they have to be dressed to the hilt to get a bagel

  27. It’s been said countless times by the mashgiach and countless others… saying “don’t look at me” is no excuse. If you’re machshil others, it’s on your head. You have a responsibility to those around you, and many times the manner of dress is so inappropriate it’s impossible not to notice.

  28. impressed says:
    May 19, 2011 at 3:50 pm
    i agree that not only single girls should not attend rather even married ladies should not come. Sorry to say but the young lakewood mommys in general need a lot of chizuk in tznius. They think that if there covering there elbows and knees thier all set. WELL i hate to break this to you many of you are the furthest thing from tznius. Even if your kid is in the best cheder and your husband has the best chavrusa Face it you are prust and causing bachurim and all men to sin and every one is on you. almost every food place during the day in lakewood is full of these ladies and Rav Aaron Kotler zatzal would tell you to your face leave lakewood just get out this place is not for you go back to where you came from.

    shame rav ahron is not around today because if he would see you for one micro second he would throw you out of this town for looking where you shouldnt be looking and for acting like a chaya

  29. Sorry to inform you,but just because someone doesn’t fit in your little tiny miniscule box in which you choose to live in is a bad person and should “go back to where you came from” for starters I was born and raised in lakewood but I have nothing to do with r” aron although I have tremendous respect for what he started here in lakewood and the foundation he helped build with some of his talmidim that does not mean for all eternity you get to judge other people based on what you think he would aprove of. so in that case I will stay here and welcome other people like myself to even the balance of people like you who can’t look in their own mirror so they resort to judging other people. Shame on you. PS were you even born here? Or did you join the yeshiva and then stay?

  30. Well said, Jewish girl. I have never felt like a “second class citizen”. On the contrary, I’ve always felt cherished, treasured and protected by, and because of, our laws of modesty and conduct. We are the “crowns” of our husbands, not their chattel. (If you wish to see women who are truly treated as second class citizens, I suggest you visit Saudi Arabia, Iran or even Gaza. Just make sure you don’t forget to pack your burkha.)

  31. How about we all stop suggesting what R’ Aharon would say or do. None of us know.

    One thing for sure though, the biggest problem facing Lakewood as a frum community is not tznius. It is sinas chinam. The amount of judging and discrimination (there, I said it!) that goes on here is not to be believed. It as a problem of epic proportions.

  32. why do u all look for the BIGGEST prroblem? A problem is a problem- no matter how small. (I’m still noot sure how u measure the size or depth of comparison in problems….)
    EVERY problem MUST be resolved.

    Unfortunately, there seems to be certain parties that have specific personal weaknesses. They then decide for klal yisroel that these are the ones that the klal should work on.

    I’m not saying that those problems are not issues. I’m just saying that in most cases (like 43) are usually cop-outs. Instead of starting to fix themselves, first they try to fix the world. They hope that if they could make the world a better place – then tthe world would be mashpia on them for the better.

    PS They obviously do this att alll costs. Even if they have to be maikel on lo saseeree acharay eineichem, etc.

  33. I think we went a bit off topic.

    Please remember to grab this opportunity to support Minyan Shelanu…..

    raffle drawin this Sunday night!(rain or shine)
    purchase a ticket online at minyanshelanu.com

    or join their auction for the hadluka. Go to ebay.com and search “Minyan Shelanu”


  34. 57:

    Yes, it’s true all problems are problems and need to be worked on. However, in Lakewood, there seems to be a disproportinate amount of attention placed on the problem of tznius compared with many other porblems including sinas chinam – the cause of the churban and the reason we are still in galus, as per the Chofetz Chaim.

  35. #29 it is fools like yourself that knock people off the derech. You know why minyan shelanu is around? Because of mivatlanim like you. All you know is to make yittishkeit miserable. No enjoyment. I hope to go and sing about the great Tanna Rebbi Shimon Bar Yochai and to celebrae the Torah he taught. THAT Rav Aharon ZTL would have approved of for he didn’t hok for the sake of hoking, he wanted only emes. The day we got the Zohar Hakodesh is a day to celebrate. If you don’t want to, it’s your loss. Learn well my freind. Espcially how to love the minhagim of your fellow Jews. (remember why we mourn during the sefirah because of a lack of respect……..

  36. #17 you talk about uneducated sources, well sweetheart, you difinitely fit into that catagory! To say no other religion treats women with love and protection is a comment only a fool would make. Unless you have full knowledge or for that matter a fraction of knowledge about any other faith, you are not qualified to make any assumptions!

  37. I think the point that 17 is trying to make is ass follows:

    I met a friend who told me, “My father is the nicest man in the world!” Noone is nice like my poppa!”

    I thought to myself, “How can my friend make such a blatant statement against all fathers – to say that no other fathers are nice?!?!”

    Then I realized that my friend was not directing her comment AGAINST the rest of the world’s fathers, but rather, she was simply COMPLIMENTING her father by comparing him to the rest of society.

    So too, #17 is also just stating her good feelings of being loved to such an extent that she feels so loved that there cannot be a people that show more love to the women! (Comparatively)

    As en extra to stresss that My assumption is correct:
    #17 writes “…all this second class business is coming from uneducated sources.”

    uneducated in HER FEELINGS (as she stated with her first few words) as an orthodox woman in JEWISH community.

    Thank you for your input. Of course all people should be treated fairly. When one writes a comment on a blog it can be difficult to underand and at the same time easily misconstrued.
    G-d should bless us that we should have the opportunity to live happily and peacefully with ALL our friends & neighbors. No matter what race/gender/religion/etc. they are.

    Thanks again for your concern.

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