I noticed that TLS has been posting many pictures and videos from readers vacationing around the world.
While the Niflaos HaBorei displayed in these photos is truly beautiful, I feel it is important to share a concern.
For many in our community, traveling abroad is simply not possible—whether due to financial limitations, health challenges, or family circumstances. Seeing so many vacation photos can unintentionally cause pain or jealousy to those who are unable to participate in such experiences.
I kindly ask that TLS take this into consideration when choosing what to publish, and remain mindful of how content may impact your broader readership.
Thank you for your understanding.
A longtime reader.
TLS welcomes your letters by submitting them to [email protected]
I understand
It’s one thing to show the gorgeous views ‘niflaos haborei’ which I thought was the whole point, it’s another to show families basking in their vacation.
I also understand but this same argument should also mean not publicizing many other things
-No announcing engagements to be sensitive to older singles
-No announcing baby births to be sensitive to those struggling with infertility
-Store or restaurant openings to be sensitive to those who cant afford to shop or dine there
I’m sure you can think of many other examples. Would you agree? I would this logic can apply to a large percentage of posts on TLS.
Agreed 👍
💯
I can’t afford to go on vacation but i actually really enjoyed seeing those stunning pictures!
I also did. As much as I wanted to go on vacation this summer but wasn’t able to, I was really happy for everyone else.
And also I feel like I get to travel a bit through them!
I almost agree. There will always be people who will have more than us. You will see them driving nicest cars, wearing more expensive clothes and making chasunahs in more expensive venues. It’s not on them to eschew, it’s on is to look past them and thank Hashem for what we actually do have.
If it’s truly agonizing to look at beautiful pictures, don’t look.
The Shopper provides the forum for posting pictures – you should be asking the Shopper not to.
Again with this “if I can’t have it nobody else can show it.”
How about we learn to not always compare ourselves to others instead of telling others what to do.
TYFYATTM (thank you for you attention to this matter).
Unless I misread, I don’t believe the OP of this letter said anything about people not going on vacations or exotic destinations. He or she simply suggested not flaunting it, which is exactly what they are doing by sending it to TLS to be posted. Our sefarim tell is that this can be both unhealthy for the people sending the pictures and the ones seeing it.
The people going can’t afford it either. Don’t be jealous.
Best comment so far.
Best comment EVER!
While we’re at it, can people also make sure not to walk around in public places with their husbands and children? It can unintentionally cause pain to those who are single or childless that they don’t have a family or home of their own.
Also please be considerate and don’t drive a car for those who aren’t able to afford a car of their own or for whatever reason aren’t able to get their own license.
And while we’re at it, maybe also don’t use a cell phone in public for those who will be pained that they don’t have anyone to talk to and will feel left out because everyone else has a social life and they don’t.
There is a huge difference between walking around outside with your family and showing pictures of far away exotic vacation.
Also driving here in Lakewood-you need to get around.
In Eretz Yisroel if you do not have a large family you can manage with city busses.
Clearly you missed the sarcasm in my comment.
there is actually no difference. If a person wants to get hurt and be upset and hypersensitive, anything and everything will set them off.
if a person wants to be happy for other people and work on themselves and be grateful for what they have, then even if something hurts them they will be able tl
fargin the other person for having it better the them.
these types of letters are like all the other stupid letters that can basically be summed up in the words “It’s Not Fair” and the whole point of them is to cry about why people have it “better” then them and how every person must be ‘super sensitive’ to any slight pain they might inflict on another individual simply because they demand so.
I once asked a Rav regarding a friend of mine who was going through a lot and it was literally walking on eggshells around her because if anything I said could be taken the wrong way she would take it the wrong way. I asked if I needed to ask her for mechila given that she so easily got hurt (and liked to let me know it for that matter) and the Rav told me that if she’s so hyper sensitive then there is no obligation to ask her for mechila because she’s not an emotionally healthy and normal person and therefore it’s more than normal her sensitivity. (Obviously ask your own Rav for your situation.)
this is the same thing here imo. You have a bunch of people who are being hypersensitive over something that is not a normal thing to be hypersensitive about. It’s a normal thing to go on vacation and enjoy yourself, and there’s nothing wrong with sending in photos especially as it’s of scenery and not the people themselves and their families.
these people can’t fargin that it’s not them on vacation and have to cry about it to everyone else. I guarantee you that if it was them on vacation they would also be sending in pictures to TLS.
since it’s not, they instead write a dumb letter because they have no pictures to send in.
Your Rav has a different Torah than the one that belongs to women who are alone in the world
I don’t get it… When then should one work on jealousy? Ehtliche yidden can’t fargin? I haven’t gone to vacation for years but to think like this? Where is our ahavas yosroel?
Speak to your therapist, I appreciate the views and feel good that people are enjoying their summer.
I respectfully disagree. I cannot afford such vacations either, however, I’m more than happy to see beautiful pictures from other yidden who are able to enjoy traveling. I’m so happy for them!
I CAN afford it and I don’t think it’s right to share photos.
share only with people who are truly happy for you that you are vacationing.
One of the advantages of emotional maturity is accepting that there a folks that can afford vacations or other things you cannot afford. The pain and jealousy you and others may experience viewing or hearing of others travels is something you can personally work on. Fix yourself or ignore the articles, photos and convos.
Stop being jealous and petty. Some people have more than others. If you can’t handle seeing someone else enjoying something because you don’t have it, is your problem not theirs. That being said, flaunting is never a nice middah. However, I don’t think sharing pictures anonymously (vs your statuses and social media etc) is flaunting, it is actually letting the people who cannot afford it enjoy it.
I dont vacation much. I really enjoy the photos. It gives me the opportunity to see the world. Thank you.
Grow up!
the best way to deal with this, is everyone should understand that what they can afford to do is according to EXACTLY what the EIBERSHTER has in mind for him, nothing to be jealous of someone else, I’m sure you have things that he doesn’t have, and not necessarily things that can be posted, NOBODY has life on a silver platter, so let’s just be happy and satisfied with what we have for ourselves.
The above letter is the opposite of Sameach Bechelko.
Jealousy is not a good thing; everyone try to do your best; be happy for those that have a little more than you. That’s something to aspire to, happy what you have and more importantly need. More than that is extra
You need not broadcast your vacations. Many couples argue why they can’t do the same.
Reality.! This is not the Lakewood of 30 years ago. Different strokes for different folks. Personally it makes me happy to see people having a good time. Never fargin anyone, it will end up making you miserable!!
I’m not sure I agree with the letter writer and not because a person can’t have a difference of opinion but because the writer is just plain wrong. Being jealous is just plain wrong and yes, perhaps I could speak. I’m not on vacation- not this year and not the last 10 + years and I wouldn’t wish on anyone the reasons as to why we cannot go on vacation even though some kids BH are on vacation- and yet I love looking at the pictures and the videos shared on this site (and on other sites) showing yidden enjoying themselves and seeing the most beautiful places – and I might add, pictures of yidden learning and making minyanim at places that I’ll probably never see. Jealousy is just not in the cards..I’m just hapy for another yid having a great time!
But, I could just say what really works to have those good vibes and trust me it works…I made a goal to maximize my hours of learning Torah throughout the month of Av (business is so slow so why not) – it worked so well last year and I’m sure it will work again BEH this year when coming into Elul with that feeling of accomplishment and perhaps a little preparation for the month ahead. Learning is always so valuable to the RSO but especially at a time when perhaps there’s a little less Torah being learned because of all the Yeshivas and kollelim that are closed for Bein Hazmanim it has an added chasivus by the RSO, and so to all those that feel a little down and under because they are like this letter writer – stuck in Lakewood, there’s still a week left, make yourself a goal in learning and try to accomplish that goal and you’ll feel as good as, if not better than those that are vacationing in Alaska, Milan Italy or even E”Y.
While I really enjoy looking at the pics from around the world, I understand the letter writer. Why does everything have to be broadcasted? If we don’t share our photos, half the joy of vacation is lost. Be in the moment, enjoy, thank hashem and leave it in your phone, camera. Noone has to see where you went and what you did
I personally drove down to the Appalachian Trail It was free you know what it wasn’t. I had to fill up for gas ones Make good people are so close minded they can’t think out of the box and say there’s probably something free
just post the pix anonymously
After 120+, Hashem will ask, “Did you see my Alps? Did yo see my Rocky Mountains?”
“No, and I refuse to even see a picture of it”
Who is rich? One who is happy with his lot. Avos 4:1
Perhaps with all your free time from staying home you can study the “10th Commandment”
It doesn’t say, ‘Don’t own a car because your neighbor can’t afford it” or “Don’t put a large silver Menorah in your window because your neighbor can’t afford it.
The obligation is on you not to be jealous.
It’s actually really scary where we have gotten to
Instead of a Yid being Sameach B’Chelko for both himself & his friends & neighbors we now demand those with more hide it from us & especially our children because we are seemingly incapable of raising our children with proper values about money & life.
As someone who is in the position that can’t travel the world I kindly request they continue it. If I can’t physically go to these places I would at least love to see others pics. It breaths life into me. I live vicariously through those pics I am so happy these ppl can go. Live & let live. Find happiness in all.that HSM sends your way. Honestly I don’t understand jealousy
Also, please stop posting pictures of people with Gedolim, I dont have the financial resources to donate $10-15k for a visit
This is part of why so many people struggle. We’re too focused on being “sensitive” about jealousy. Instead of worrying about others being envious, people should stop comparing and wanting what someone else has. Them we wouldn’t hear endless complaints about camps, clothing, houses, weddings and vacations. The key is simple: live within your means. Stop being a snowflake. If someone else can (hopefully) afford a nice vacation, be happy for them and move on.
This was a good letter.
I know how it feels.
I have a business w/ a small factory. From September through June my business is slow of which I earn a small measly profit if any. During July & August it becomes crazy as customers scream that they’re leaving to the country, they’re flying, going etc they need it immediately and all day it doesn’t stop, my employees and I are totally exhausted but profits are k’ein ayin horah, baruch hashem fat, no way I can get away during the summer, and during the summer my wife doesn’t work so instead of me going on vacation with her she is with her mother all day. They’re at the beach all day or they go to stores during a rainy day.
After the summer my wife tries to help our children by taking care of their babies ( our grandchildren) from newborn till age 3 and if she takes off my daughter or daughter in laws will have to stay home with their babies thus loose a good chunk of their parnassah, so during the year even though my business is slow forget about going on vacation with my wife, I would never do that to my kids.
i yearn for the Catskills or any mountains during the summer.
I even bought myself a small gasoline SUV mainly for vacations of which it sits ( I take my EV to work).
I yearn for the Caribbean during the winter. I have 7 of the best, clearest compact binoculars, I have clothing and sneakers I bought for vacations of which I unfortunately had never used ( except I wear the sneakers on Yom Kipper) I pretend to be happy but it really bothers me.
But I enjoy looking at the beautiful pictures of nice vacations of others. Maybe in Olam Habbah I will get to go on vacation.
PLEASE keep posting these pictures. Odds are I will never get to many of these beautiful places but glad others are and sharing pics.
I always say if you make a beautiful over the top wedding or simcha PLEASE invite me!! They are the best and always enjoy! When I make a simcha it will be nice and simple. Never had the thought that I need to follow others. Do what is right for you and you will be a very happy person!
We recently moved here to Lakewood and I couldn’t be happier. We are currently not able to go on any luxury vacation, but we have been enjoying to beautiful scenery of Lakewood. Why not post some pictures of this? This is a wonderful city and friendly community.
Bh I can afford a vacation but this summer its not the right time. Caring for grandkids or parents, raising special needs child, financial priorities, or even differences between spouses can all play a role. Every family’s story is different and summer can be beautiful whether you’re traveling or staying close to home. So instead of asking where are you going when u meet me, say i hope your having a nice summer. its a simple shift but it makes space for everyones reality
That should have been signed “a longtime jealous reader”.
one has to learn to ‘fargin’. There are plenty of thing YOUhave that this world traveler does not have. Be sameach with your lot and fargin another with his lot.
While its takeh a bad middah to flaunt. Posting a picture anonymously for others to enjoy is not flaunting. The readers don’t know or care who you are and you don’t know who they are. Unfortunately Lakewood has been plagued by Tzaras Eyin, and jealousy in an unprecedented way. The troubling aspect is that these bad modos are often displayed as well intended, to shine a light on the “terrible gashmious” and come across as balei musser. Seminaries and high schools have already produced a whole curriculum for the teaching about how terrible the world is. If you were a true poreish from olam hazah it wont bother you that someone else went on a fancy vacation. If it does bother you then either you need to go yourself or you can work on your middos. I still remember a certain rebbi i had that couldn’t stop talking about the things that “rich” people do and how stupid they are. He left me wondering why this was occupying his mind all day. I did not want to grow up like him. (Lucky he was only one of many other rebbe’s most who were emesdiga yidden)
This letter should be published. Perfectly articulated.