Last night (Tues Aug 20) my daughter was driving west up South Lake Dr (from Rt 9 towards Hope) about 10:15 p.m. near the area of Carasaljo Dr.
A driver in the other lane (heading east down South Lake Dr from Hope towards Rt 9) was coming towards her head on!!
She had to swerve onto the shoulder to avoid being hit & popped both right side tires!
(I don’t know if she hit the curb – she said she didn’t, or hit something sharp because the tires have huge puncture marks in them -that’s why the curb hitting part doesn’t match up. Chaverim tried to find the object but she drove a little past the scene so it was a little difficult in the dark.)
We don’t have a dash cam so we can’t file a police report but she said it was a white car (not too helpful!). If you think it might be you please reach out and man up. Your recklessness is going to cost me $500.
A very concerned mom
(You can reach out via TLS.)
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wonder if they are chayav
grama, garmi, or yashrus
which category?
definitely not b’ydei adam.
not sure about b’ydei shamayim
It is possible that your daughter lacks the necessary driving skills, or she may have overreacted to the situation. Do you have a dash camera installed in your vehicle?
Most people who start driving for the first time, they drive like a Mentsch.
I have noticed on several occasions on South Lake Drive that drivers are going over the yellow line (center line) while they are driving fast, probably because the road turns sharply in a few spots.
It’s evident from your letter that you weren’t there and you have no dash cam evidence. So you may want to consider that your daughter panicked unnecessarily and swerved hence (or a million other possibilities) making it entirely her fault. In your words please “man up” and stop pointing fingers and making judgments and getting all angry at the world and stop being mekabel lashon hara in the entire town
How am I speaking lashon hora by asking a reckless driver to come forward?!?
I don’t even have a license plate number or a make & model of the car?
I didn’t point fingers at any specific type of yid or mention it was a “Lakewood” thing.
We don’t even know if it was a Jew at all.
All I said was how dangerous the situation was and how we shelled out money for something someone doesn’t even know they caused.
Chaverim didn’t see any skid marks indicating that she wasn’t speeding on the bend.
No need to reply. Some people nowadays are not in a happy mood and maybe they are upset at many different people for various reasons. They are obviously depressed and not in a great mood. They may throw at you an aggressive comment and the comment was not thought out, the comment just popped into their head and they shot it at you without truly giving it a fair though process. THEY ARE HOPING THAT THEIR COMMENT WILL GIVE THEM SOME SORT OF PLEASURE THAT THEY DESPERATELY NEED.
Why does she have to doubt her daughter. Tons of mature experienced drivers in Lakewood drive terrible.
I don’t know if this girl who was driving is a new driver.
Way back when I was a brand new driver, a car was coming towards me partly in my lane and I crashed into it.
At this point, I think that with my years of experience I would be able avoid crashing in such a situation. In other words, I wasn’t at fault but with better driving skills I likely could have prevented the crash.
I’m assuming this is what the commenters are referring to.
hmm. I had the same thought.
But again, they’re appealing to the person to come forward. So if his daughter IS overreacting, no one will right?
What I don’t understand is, if she was not forced to swerve onto the curb and simply drove over something sharp on the road….why is that the other persons fault? The person driving in the opposite lane didn’t leave a sharp object on the road.
I’m not understanding your statement.
If someone is coming at you “head on” you are sort of “forced” to get out of the way.
I mean, that’s if you don’t want to get hit.
But everyone has their own definition of “forced” I guess…
No one left any sharp objects around for her to drive over. My husband went to help her out and found it was the storm drain that had a very exposed sharp edge…
She moved over to protect herself and hit the storm drain.
No one physically pushed or moved her but their actions caused a reaction.
You can definitely file a Police report. Exactly what you are telling us can be mentioned to the Police and they can write up a report. In your scenario, you have every right to file a report and maybe your insurance company will partially reimburse you.
Sounds like she was very fortunate that she did not get in a head on collision which would have not only severely damaged the vehicle but possibly caused serious injuries , while $500 in nothing to sneeze at it could have been so much worse consider yourself lucky!
I think that you should be busy with bigger and better things
I think it is a big thing.
Two tire blow outs at night and a girl is alone near the lake at night.
Also just yesterday or maybe two days ago, a car ended up in the lake. So yes
it is a big thing.
I’m guessing you don’t have a daughter or a car ‘cuz for us it was pretty terrifying.
I’m hoping that people don’t have to be busy with tzaros and we should be able to be able to worry about “smaller” things.
This is why the (Non-Chasidish) community I’m from does not allow women to drive. There are vans that shuttle the girls to the college campus, movie theater, Tehillim Asifa, etc.
Studies I’ve conducted prove women are only capable of handling the simplest of tasks & their smaller brains doesn’t help. My VERY Choshuv Ruv (& noted Posek) said, “Any man that allows the women in his family to drive has the din of a “Rodef”
WOW Is that insulting !!!
Why is that so?
please tell us the name of your chushive rav and community. ken yirbu.
Say Mizmor Le’Todah! Thank Hashem this is the problem you are dealing with today, a popped tire and a $500 bill. I know many, many people that would take this inconvenience over most problems they have!
Ok, so no complaining about school being off for the week between camp.
There are people who would chalish to have kids, or a school for their kids, or a job they need to go to while those kids are home.
Basically I hope you never complain ‘cuz there’s someone who is always less fortunate than you.
Who’s selling tires $250 a piece?
It was a tow, 2 tires & new rims (that’s how bad the tires popped, plus she had to drive on them to get to carasaljo to keep safe).
did the chasers show up and harass your daughter to let them tow. the car
if not count your blessings
hey there’s nothing wrong with admitting your chasidik, and from a hasidik hood, keep your asinine comments of calling any man that lets his wife drive a rodef! my wife drives me to kollel when ever she can, shes a tzadeikis!
I bike and walk a lot. Every time I see a nail on the road I stop and pick it up for that exact reason. It’s Bor Birshus Harabim.
Really trying to understand two points here; How are you so sure that the other driver was from our community? Could have been someone from Patterson or Newark. Also if as you say the tires seems punctured so what does it have to do with this other driver. Your daughter obviously went over something. Your daughter hitting the curve wouldn not have caused a puncture, it must have caused the tire to deflate. Additionally it most definitely would not have damaged both right tires to go flat.
I NEVER said it was anyone from our community or town or state.
All I could do was post it somewhere local in the hope that someone MIGHT read it and identify themselves.
I DIDN’T say the other car CAUSED the damage. I said their RECKLESSNESS caused her to swerve into the storm drain and sustain a big damage.
It was really a post to explain how our actions cause a reaction that we don’t always know about.
According to the law if you swerve to avoid an accident and hit someone else you are responsible for the damage. All the law enforcement can do is give a ticket to the reckless driver.
Going off the rode to avoid an accident is your decision and responsibility.
That’s the law!!!
Thanks for that info. I didn’t know that.
I know you’re responsible for hitting someone in the back of their car even if they stop short as you’re supposed to keep a safe distance.
You live & learn
Which part of South Lake Drive has a shoulder?
Barely any…that’s why she hit the storm drain.
We cant always blame every mishap on someone else. Sometimes we just say gam zu litova, zol zein a kaparah, and let things go. I’m sure there have been times when you caused someone else damage and didn’t realize it. Lets accept upon ourselves as a society to let these small things go. We’ll all be better off for it.
As an aside, your lucky that it was only $500. I had a similar story with my front tire, only I bent the axel as well. The car needed a body shop and took 2 weeks plus thousands of $ to fix.
It’s very upsetting and frustrating when something like that happens. If this happened to me a few years ago, I probably would’ve said the same thing, this guy, whoever it was, owes me $500.
At this point, after following the Life With Bitachon Hotline for so long, I would say that no person is able to affect my life in any way, just like I’m not able to affect any person’s life in any way, and that whatever happened would have happened anyways, it was just that Hashem chose to make it come about in this type of way.
Yes, it hurts a lot to lose $500 like that, but I would tell myself that Hashem will pay me back the $500 in the z’chus of my being mekabel what happened with emunah and bitachon, and that He’ll even pay me back double that amount because I was doing a mitzvah, I was saving my own life by swerving and puncturing my tires, rims, and getting a tow truck, it was the mitzvah of unishmartem meod l’nafshoseichem, and when it comes to spending money on a mitzvah, Hashem always pays you back double.
Att: just saying.
Well said. I hope your words be taken to heart, by many. I do feel bad for the writer and the difficult expenses, BH her daughter did what she was supposed to do and was spared. Not everything is in our hands to control just like the expenses in this case.
Can you ask one of the homes nearby for the camera footage?
Could you please let the township know where the storm drain with a sharp edge is? That really does sound dangerous (for both pedestrians and drivers). And you could ask if it was reported previously; if it was, and it was left unfixed, they should reimburse you. I think potholes work that way, anyway.
I most definitely will. I will drive by in the near future (I don’t live near South Lake) to get the exact location.
Thanks for the idea
Mr. Mayor
Our town desperately needs speed bumps !!!
As a side note all drivers must learn that you never swerve to avoid an impact it is much safer to have the impact than to swerve, most accident deaths and severe injury are caused by people swerving to avoid an animal or another vehicle. if you swerve you lose control you’re supposed to slam on the brakes and brace you body for impact i learned this in drivers ed 35 years ago and its very true
I feel extremely bad for the mother and daughter in this situation, she doesn’t deserve to be corrected by everyone who thinks they know better, whether she was right or wrong doesn’t matter all she wants is if the person that was there at the time of the “ mishap” in the white car can come please come forward and try to clarify and hopefully rectify what’s happened.