Letter: Quite Frustrating

I’m looking for a new apartment for a few months already because my landlord wants me out. So far, mostly everyone that I asked is only looking for a newlywed, because they are scared that and anxious, as they want the people to stay for a long time – and they won’t buy a house soon after moving in (to make sure that they have the money for their mortgage).

I am not able to find an apartment, because of this mishegas. They say with a newlywed there will be less wear and tear. But a chosson and kallah that are staying for a long time will also eventually have kids, and there will be wear and tear… so I’m not sure what the whole thing is…

Additionally, people are not communicating properly, and we’ve been to a few apartments, only to find out afterwards that they only wanted a newlywed.. it’s extremely discouraging, disappointing and doesn’t feel mentchlich.

And then there’s this person asking questions that are not okay to ask, only because they are so anxious about making sure that they get their money.

I’m at my wits end.

What landlords should realize is that you can’t control everything, and you only set yourself up for disaster when you try looking for the perfect tenant. Realize it’s ultimately up to Hashem.

Thank you.

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  1. OMG I totally understand!! We were kicked out of our home a while ago and I have a few kids. We were totally given the run around. It’s nearly impossible to find a place to rent. And forget about the prices! Hashem should help you! It was a miracle we found a place even though it’s not the right fit for us and the landlord isn’t a mentch but we’re very glad to have a roof over our heads…

  2. I have a basement apartment. The best tenants I ever had were a couple married for 3 years came one kid and expecting a second. The worst tenant was a newlywed. You can never tell.

  3. Joe, first Hashem has Rachmanus and we are obligated to emulate that. Hashem tests all of us in various ways. We are commanded to love our fellow Yid as we love ourselves. That often requires a sacrifice, however, as Chazal point out, Hashem promises that you will not suffer any loss but actually gain immensely in this world and the world to come. My belief is that landlords should realize this because likely they are considering themselves the victim, rather than the tenant. You might say that is open for debate but clearly I do not agree. In this month of Elul, rapidly approaching the Yomim Noraim, I think it necessary for landlords to reconsider their priorities instead of discriminating to their own ultimate detriment. Yes, this person is for real and speaks for many Yidden in the Kehilla. Besides pondering this, Joe, you I think you should also pay more attention to your spelling as well. Gmar Tov. Hashem is the ultimate and only Judge; not you or the landlord. Think about it, you’re time is is limited to come to a conclusion in just a few days. Chazak!

  4. Well, I rented out my apartment not long ago and also preferred a newlywed. What’s wrong with a landlord wanting to rent to a tenant who will likely remain there for longer? Yes, B’E”H they will one day have kids that will destroy my apartment as well, but it will give me a good few extra years vs renting to someone with 3 kids.

    p.s. I just had to put in over $7k in to my apartment before renting out my apartment again. This doesn’t factor the money I had to spend for things broken or ruined from the previous tenant while still there.

  5. While asking for income is quite the norm , if you try to rent from a management company in a proper apartment building it might be a bit over the top when renting out your basement. But it’s quite frustrating that this potential tenant cannot wrap their minds around the needs and preference of a landlord and why a landlord might want a newlywed it’s time to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, you’ll be happier for it.

  6. Why is it wrong that the landlord wants a long term tenant? Just a basic painting an apartment now costs like a few K… why should they have to do every year or 2? And outside of lakewood to rent an apartment they run a credit check on you. So personal questions regarding your financial stability are definitely fair game. Maybe this guy shouldn’t look for a good apartment and settle for anything if he doesn’t expect landlords to look for good tenants and take anyone. Sorry… perhaps he should look in N Korea.

  7. We moved with 2 kids and some landlords won’t show us their apartments because of that, since they only wanted a newly wed couple, despite us letting them know that we were looking for something long term. B”H we found a place. Then a year and a half later that house was sold and we had to move again. When looking into places I ended up calling one of the places that we had spoken to a year and a half prior that was once again available. The landlord gave me a whole speech about how he is only looking for a tenent again because the newly wed couple moved out of town (he still wouldn’t let us look at it again). We found another place and stayed there for 4 years, when again the house was sold and we were told me had to move. HaShem is in charge!!! Newly weds are not the only long term tenants…

    And btw, it is very hurtful to be told “why would you want to squash?” when I said that I was looking for a bsmt for long term despite having 2 kids. I know my situation. Please don’t assume anything.

  8. The fact that in order to put a roof over your head in this town requires you to answer every single yentish question whether it’s about family size or finances is wrong but it is what it is. What I dislike is that after being straightforward about everything landlords won’t be straightforward in return and do things like flip houses while you’re living in them and expect you to cater to non-stop visits from potential buyers and realtors. So I ask the same questions back… How long are you holding onto the property bc I value my privacy and don’t want to be pushed out of my lease. That helps me weed out options that aren’t going to be good for me.

  9. It goes without saying that Bore’ Olam makes the ultimate decisions on everything. The author who penned this letter must come to realize that a landlord has to make the best decision in his best interests and if that means renting out to newlyweds ad a preference, so be it. May Bore’ Olam give you a g’bentched year.

  10. i had the same situation when i was also looking the place i lived in it took us 3 years to find a place to move and one of the places i looked into even asked me a personal question.

  11. Not sure why everyone is so up in arms about “personal questions”. Nobody is asking you if you prefer boxers or briefs. They are asking relevant financial or logistical or otherwise related (how many people will actually live there and how long type) questions. There is nothing at all wrong with that. It’s part and parcel of renting an apartment. If you don’t like it. Don’t rent. Buy your own house and live there. And yes… I will say it’s expensive… before everyone hyperventilates. But it doesn’t have to be in lakewood. Lakewood borders aren’t the end of the world contrary to popular opinion. There’s even civilization past jackson and toms river… gasp.

  12. ?) What is meant by income growth?
    2)How can any new renter know off hand how long one will live in their new apartment. That’s a difficult ? to answer to a new landlord.

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