Every summer, we hear story after heartbreaking story of children drowning in private pools.
A toddler wandered into a backyard pool. A child slipped under the water while adults were nearby. Family and friends are left devastated, asking how something so unthinkable could happen so quickly.
As difficult as it is to say, we need to face an uncomfortable truth: swimming is not a necessity. It is a privilege and a recreational activity. If we choose to take our children swimming, we are also choosing to accept the enormous responsibility that comes with it.
Drowning is one of the few tragedies that is almost always preventable.
Many people imagine drowning as loud splashing and desperate cries for help. In reality, drowning is usually silent. It can happen in seconds. A child can disappear beneath the surface while adults are talking, looking at their phones, grilling dinner, or assuming someone else is watching.
“Someone else is watching” has cost far too many children their lives.
If you’re going to swim with children at a private pool, there should either be a lifeguard, or one adult whose only job is to watch the water—every second.
Not chatting. Not eating. Not scrolling. Not running inside for a towel. Watching the pool with the same level of focus a professional lifeguard would.
It isn’t fair to expect one person to supervise the grill, greet guests, take care of a baby, carry on conversations, and also keep children safe in the water. Drowning doesn’t wait until it’s convenient.
Yes, hiring a lifeguard costs money. Yes, designating a “water watcher” means someone must give up part of their time relaxing, socializing, or enjoying the afternoon to keep constant watch over the pool.
But compared to the unimaginable cost of losing a child, those sacrifices are insignificant.
None of this is written to judge families who have experienced this nightmare. They have already suffered more than anyone should ever have to endure. It is written because every one of these tragedies should make the rest of us stop and ask, “What can I do differently so it never happens to my child—or anyone else’s?”
If sharing this message prevents even one drowning, it will have been worth saying.
Our children deserve nothing less than our complete attention around the water. Every second. Every time.
Anonymous
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Hi
just a thought I have maybe people should invest in making a sprinkler park on their backyard
it is a water activity cools kids down without the dangers of a pool
What a farce. You don’t get to judge the families that have experienced this kind of tragedy and then disclaim any judgment. Besides, what credentials do you have to proclaim that almost every drowning is preventable?
Because most drownings actually ARE preventable. Not all, but MOST.
Maybe these weren’t?
Hi Moshe,
No “credentials “ are needed to state the obvious. But for someone that needs additional sources, see the following:
http://www.usa.fema.gov/prevention-life-safety-hazzards/pools-and-swimming
Proove that these would have prevented every drowning that happened in the last 10 years.
All drownings are preventable. It’s different than kids being left in cars, driving kids is a necessity and mistakes happen. Swimming isn’t a necessity it’s an activity and when choosing to do an activity you can choose to do it safely.
I’ve worked as a lifeguard in backyard pools for families when the parents were there at the pool!
Is it common- no, is it smart- absolutely!
Why are do some yidden constantly say leaving a kid in a car Cannot be prevented??
A pool isnt necessary, ok,
But NEITHER is driving when you are frantic, distracted, on your phone, or think you HAVE to shlep all the kids.
Make your kids a PRIORITY and get the errands done in a safer manner, maybe, not by allowing a frantic distracted time to do your driving errands or making ADVANCE alternative arrangements instead of saying you have no choice.
Choose!
So if your 10 year old climbs the 8 foot fence around the pool and drowns, what else should the parent do?
In most cases this is preventable too . It is parents obligation to instill into they’re children the importance of safety- helmet, crossing street , pool safety ect.
Most of the time when parents prioritize safety children learn and value safety as well .
Get swimming lessons for your children, if you have children that don’t listen to rules, install pool alarms, always supervise the kids 💯 of the time especially outdoors. Don’t have a pool. Have help like a nanny if there are more children then one parent can keep eyes on…
What would you do if a 10 year old climbed the 8 foot fence, 20-45 minutes and no one noticed? How much more is needed?
Thank you for your cogent words. Agreed. Extreme vigilance can prevent drowning tragedies. Add to that the dangers of a cloudy pool that you cannot see the bottom, or overcrowding that causes murky water. Some people enjoy just sitting by poolside, and not necessarily swimming. Don’t. If you like the view and the vibe of the pool, sit outside the locked gate and keep your eyes peeled anyway.
What a horrible letter. So judgmental. An accident is an accident is an accident.
Same attitude as the people who proclaim and hang signs that say, “Never leave a child in the car even for a minute!” as if anyone ever chose to do that.
I hope you never have to eat your words.
There is a famous expression: the road to gehenom is paved with good intentions. Pulling out the “Dan licaf zchus” card or the “al tadin….” card, doesn’t change the metzios that the parent murdered their child, whether it be from drowning, leaving a child in a vehicle to roast, allowing a child to own/drive an electric scooter, etc etc etc … Actions, or lack thereof, HAVE consequences.
He’s not saying that it’s not an accident. Just like the never leave child in a car problem, people have done stuff… make car safety tools and hang up signs… Why can’t there be a similar initiative for pools. He’s not blaming anyone just something needs to change
This is not judgmental, in fact YOU are being judgemental. This is a very important letter.
it honestly sounds like you hate people who actually suggest great ideas and actually say common sense! i really feel bad for you that you cant rationalize what he is saying! i really hope you come to your senses fast!
This is such a pointless letter, first off everything that happens is from Hashem nothing is “preventable” yes hishtadlush is necessary but the unthinkable can still happen even if as you stated someone’s eyes are glued to the pool.
Secondly you lose all credibility when you sign as Anonymous.
It is true , that if it is Hashem’s will, tragedy can happen to the most careful. At the same time, Hashem created a world with physical laws of nature. And one is that water is very dangerous and if not careful people can drown.
The writer is correct, most drownings are preventable.
If someone goes in a boat without a life jacket, and drowns, it was preventable.
If someone runs into the street without looking, and gets killed, it was not the will of Hashem.
No credibility was needed for this letter
OMG- everyone relax.
It is true that most drownings are preventable- as a certified lifeguard, during our training, so much of the emphasis was that our primary responsibility is to prevent dangerous situations, and to be so insanely vigilant.
Nobody is saying that someone who lost a child it’s because they were negligent- chas veshalom.
And of course Hashem is always in control and our hishtadlus does not generate results, ever- it’s just an illusion.
Even the best, most responsible lifeguard is just a puppet.
I know a head lifeguard who makes a seudas hodaah at the end of the summer that nobody got hurt under their watch.
But this is just a PSA- relax.
Nobody’s blaming anyone.
Take the heads-up and say thanks.
LOVE the idea of the Seudah Hodaah.
May I attended?
Only if you’re from the rich and famous club.
And any child who doesn’t know yet how to swim should be wearing body tubes.
Just like the never leave kids in cars you insinuate that there is an issue where kids are dying because they were puposely left in cars. You are now insinuating the reason kids are drowning is because there is no one watching! what is funny you start off your letter talking about a kid wandering in a yard – if there is an issue where tragedies are happening because there wasnt a lifeguard around or someone wasnt paying enough attention – great – if not – get a life!
There has not yet been a case where any was proven to have intentionally left a child in their car.
Oh, okay. So then they have what to answer the Aibishter.
Drowning is one of the leading cause of preventable deaths in children. We need more awareness!!!
Perhaps it would be a wise idea to create a central “hire a lifeguard” base where one who wants to be extra vigilant while kids are swimming can hire a lifeguard to guard the pool and individuals who have taken the lifeguarding course can find jobs
You must figure out your real motive. You arent helping anyone even if some of your points were to be true. No one is careless, everyone is carefull and things happens so you are helping no one. BUT you for sure re ripped off the bandaid for many families suffering from unimaginable loss loss due to assorted accidents with your dumb preaching. Who knows are you married do you have kids do you let them play? . Do they ride bikes? How about scooters escooters and e bikes . Do they cross streets…,…………… You win its Elul; and you directly hurt multitudes of people. GOOD LUCK I WOULDNT WANT BE BE YOU.
Far too many people are careless, hence the continuation of highly preventable, senseless deaths of innocent children.
I wonder if a pool wall can be built with a few steps built into it all around – its entire circumference. So, instead of just a few steps at the shallow, imagine if the wall all around would be a few small steps – like not more than 4′ high, so if a toddler fell in, as long as they could get next to the wall, they’d be able to climb out.