And once again, here we are. Paralyzed in the most intense pain, anguish and grief. Everything felt so dark today.
The sun didn’t seem as bright.
The world felt off.
The vibe so somber.
I like many others can’t seem to wrap my head around this all. Nothing seems to make sense. Nothing at all. From that awful day up until now we’ve been desperately grasping onto any sense of hope. The happy rumors we forced ourselves to believe and the sad ones we refused to believe in.
Something about this feels different.
It’s as though the line of hope was severed.
It feels like we’re drowning in the horrific waves of evil, brutality and cruelty.
Will this ever end?
Will anyone come back alive?
What will make them finally return those innocent hostages?
How much more can we handle?
The simple “hug your kids tonight” doesn’t do justice today.
The “we will have better days” isn’t cutting it.
The “grief doesn’t last forever” feels so selfish.
The “we’re in this together” doesn’t work either.
And then there’s the age old question, “where’s God in this all?”
How can this be?
How can He allow this?
It almost feels like we’re searching for a sign of life in God.
I’ve been trying to write all day but couldn’t. I tried several times but my brain kept going back to the voice of Hersh’s mother crying out to him and I don’t think there’s anything to say after hearing her voice.
And then I saw a clip of the funeral of Ori. I watched his father make the Bracha of Dayan Haemes.
Never in my life have I witnessed someone in so much pain and still be able to recite a bracha with the utmost power, conviction and resilience.
Conviction that we’re hurting but not broken.
Conviction that we feel hopeless but we’ll get back up.
Conviction in our belief in Hashem despite the world going manic on every level.
I have no answers.
I have nothing to say or explain.
I still can’t wrap my head around this all.
It’s pain on a whole new level.
But watching him recite that bracha like an angel, I knew he was tapping into something bigger.
If there’s nothing other than what we see, I don’t believe a human being can attain that level of absolute strength and complete faith.
In that very moment of pure hell, I saw something bigger.
Something bigger than logic.
Logically, it’s so hard to maintain our hope for remaining hostages.
Logically, there seems to be no way out of this war.
Logically, we have so many questions.
Logically, we’re afraid.
But this is where our infinite and unshakable faith comes to play.
The very essence of emunah is after all logic ends.
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Solid
Maybe we can try that trick that they used during the days of King Achav. Everyone got along with each other, no hatred, no Lashon HaRah, zero fighting, no fighting in court.
They went into battle and they won and no one got injured.
I second this very much.
We should hold a vigil tonight at 8pm at Town Square….bring a candle and ypur prayers.
I admire your empathy for acheinu Bnei Yisroel. After so many Jews have been killed or injured, it’s hard to still feel surprised & as anguished as you do.
Beautifully written. Wait…at a time like this, on a subject matter so painful in its incomprehensibility, can one even use the word “beautiful”? The word is incongruent in this context. What then, amidst the anguish, the horrors, the tears? We once cried out: “NEVER AGAIN!” Has the Ribbono Shel Olam answered: sorry…but yes…again. The Klal Yisrael is drowning and our only hope is that it is, finally, for the last time; that our recitation of: אֶלָּא שֶׁבְּכָל דּוֹר וָדוֹר עוֹמְדִים עָלֵינוּ לְכַלוֹתֵנוּ, וְהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מַצִּילֵנוּ מִיָּדָם will become a bad memory, with the imminent arrival of Moshiach be Dovid and the final geulah. We have no other hope.
TLS, your reporting is very inconsistent. You don’t report Israeli news. I had no idea what this writer was talking about! Looking back I see a letter from the OU. Why didn’t you report what is happening as it happens??? This is not the first time I had no clue about major news. (I obviously don’t go on to other sites).
Please reconsider your policy. Thank you.
Rabbi Danino in an interview during the Shiva expressed that for him it’s a Nes that his son was zoche to be brought to Kever Yisroel and how much pain and anxiety families of hostages have not knowing what will become of their family members r”l. His son was the Bechor of the family. They all looked up to him. During these 11 months he could barely give attention to his kids as his mind was always on Ori. A big Rav in Eretz Yisroel said that all the soldiers and hostages killed Al Kiddush Hashem have a high place near the Kisei Hakavod. We don’t understand the ways of Hashem. We have to be kind to each other and show our children the beauty in Torah and Mitzvos. May we see the coming of Moshiach speedily in our days.
May their nashamos have an Aliyah. But have you ever stopped to think and ask yourself when will our generation TODAY YES TODAY stop living in denial and FACE REALITY and openly accept Hashems wake up call for serious Teshuva and Achdus together as one loving nation so Hashem can send Mashiach already bkarov?
Nothing just happens by coincidence. We all know the famous line “there’s no such thing as coincidence” and everything that happens has a message DIRECTLY FROM HASHEM even if not a single Jew is involved. Like the Rambam says “ain poranius ba ba’olam ela bishvil yisroel” not a single tragedy or situation happens worldwide that’s not on account of klal yisroel with a wake up call message for klal yisroel. Sometimes it’s about Teshuva like now other times it’s about the tznius or kashrus in Klal yisroel but it’s ALWAYS a message from Hashem to klal yisroel.
May we finally accept Hashems wake up call for serious Teshuva Kinnus and Taanis like we did in the story of Purim and our lives were saved because of it and Hashem can send Mashiach already bkarov.
We imagine everyone listened to Mordechai HaTzadik- they didn’t.
We have fewer and fewer universal holy leaders. Some of us are fortunate though to have a Rav or Rebbe, in addition to caring, loving and spiritually grounded parents. Hashem IS speaking to us. This IS happening to US, by other children of Avraham Avinu. We can’t become innured to each story of suffering and we should draw chizuk from beautiful and shining examples of emunah by those suffering more personally in this nightmare. We each know what small thing we can do – all these small candles of improvement achieve great forces of spiritual energy. This period/this month is auspicious for inner reflection and focus on what matters and is enduring. We are a people and this people-AM Yisroel – Chai V’Kayam. higher and loftier.
Chaveirim kol yisroel… that is what will bring the geulah.