Letter: It’s Theft

To whom this may concern.

I was sitting in traffic today waiting to make a left from Central Avenue onto Rt. 9 north.

If you drive that road you know that it can sometimes take you 10 minutes to turn left due to the heavy backup.

As a law-abiding and decent driver, I waited my turn for close to 10 min until I reached Rt. 9.

Just as I was about to make the light, a driver came whizzing down the shoulder, and then cut right in front of the whole line of cars waiting. Because of this driver, I missed the light and that cost me and others another couple of minutes. I was also on the way to a meeting, and that person had to wait longer for me as well.

I want you the driver to know, you stole my time and other people’s time. I’m no Posek, but I’m quite sure stealing someone’s time is just as bad as stealing someone’s money.

Think about that before you do such a thing again.

Thank you,

A mother.

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  1. I heard a shiur from R’ Yissochor Frand on 107.9 and he says you are oiver on ve’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha, as well as it being a chillul hashem in certain cases.

    And if I may add, good luck finding that person to ask mechila, or anyone else indirectly affected by this type of behavior. So think before you do something like that.

  2. Unfortunately this a common occurrence at this location. Another one is failing to obey the “DO NOT BLOCK INTERSECTION” at Central and Caranetta on that side of the road. Drivers trying to make a left to get onto Caranetta from the Westbound Central are completely blocked. Drivers trying to get on Central onto the Eastbound Ventral towards Rte 9 are in the same situation. If a courteous driver stops to allow them to proceed, the honking is deafening. We complain about traffic and accidents in Lakewood but it seems that our supposed concerns for safety and courtesy go right out the window.

  3. And how about the ppl who take caranetta to the end then squeeze their way into the left lane. Is it illegal? No. Is it yashrus? No. It definitely bothers me

  4. I can comiserate with the writer.

    It’s time the township place plastic barriers between the left turn lane and the straight/right lane. That way people can’t cut in from the right lane and from Caranetta and slow down cars from turning left.

    On average 14-15 cars turn every left turn light.

    If someone cuts in , it’s slows down the flow and only about 8 or 9 will complete the turn.

    It has got to stop.

  5. The theft was committed long before this singular incident, by the zoning board and builder’s mafia. It makes no sense that someone should need to wait so long by an intersection in a residential neighborhood. I know that corner well from 30 years ago when at its busiest, one would need to wait 3 or 4 minutes to make that turn – and I’ve watched it develop into the nightmare that it is today.

  6. I need to add my own story, not to justify that person but because this hit a nerve.
    back in the days when we were getting the food boxes, I was on a line to pick up my box, same as every week when suddenly I realized that there was a very very long line waiting to turn in coming from the north, while I was coming from the south. There had never been a line before, so I didnt realize that I was supposed to enter from the south only. I was already jammed in by cars passing me on either side. I felt really bad about my mistake and waited till quite a few cars turned in to minimize the amount of cars I was cutting off and I hoped people would judge me favorably, as is the requirement. suddenly, a woman left her place in the line, drove up to where i was, and opened her window to unleash an extremely nasty monologue at me. I apologized and explained my mistake but she wouldn’t accept and continued to call me all sorts of horrid names! THis is a public apology to any of those cars that I cut off, but I think i deserve a bigger apology for that verbal assault that I did not deserve!

  7. It is upsetting but I always try to be Dan Lekaf Zechus and think who knows why that person is in such a rush. does he maybe have a close family member that is unwell.. mentally unwell ..etc.. etc.. and thank god I don’t have any immediate pressuring moment now and I can wait…

    • Respectfully, while dan lekaf zchus is always a good thing, it doesn’t really work so well here: Whatever “good reasons” we have, we never have good reasons to endanger or damage others. Dan lekaf zchus might make it easier to forgive the person to some extent, but it does not excuse horrendous behavior. We need to hold ourselves accountable and not look for excuses why acting badly is ‘OK’ in certain circumstances.

  8. when there is a fatal accident we start to scream about speeding but I believe the main issue is the disregard for basic traffic rules let’s educate ourselves about4 way stop signs and everything else and NEVER TRY TO SCOOT OUT IN FRONT OF CARS AND ASSUME THEY WILL STOP especially on rt 9 the statistics says most accidents happen at intersections not from speeding so let’s begin following rules of the road. as a aside your issue is not only on the street but it is also the guy that somehow ends up in front of a huge line in gourmet glatt as well.

  9. You can tell a persons personality by the way they drive. A narcissist with no conscience will drive a certain way without regard to others. They are this way in other areas of life. A persons driving mannerism is very telling

  10. I was waiting for traffic to ease this afternoon so that I could safely make a right turn out of the parking lot onto Rt 9 North…. Apparently the women behind me felt I was taking too long and after a minute or so came up along side me on my left hand side and attempted to make the right turn in front of me from my left hand side…. I cannot imagine how a fatal accident would have saved her any time….

  11. Another theft is when you send a child to hold a line in a store with a basket and then come in the last second with an overflowing shopping wagon to take their place. I purposely go on that line thinking it’s shorter only to have full wagons pop in last second and waste my time. Also, don’t park in disability spots where the disabled have to go home and can’t shop because they can’t walk the far distance….

  12. Can someone please explain to me the (ridiculous) intersection on Clifton and 10th?
    At a 4 way stop sign, one person goes through at a time. So, driving north on Clifton there are actually 3 lanes that travel in different directions! So when it’s that side’s turn to go, do they all go? Just the one going straight? Like, huh? They’ve taken a relatively safe intersection and created one of the most dangerous intersections I have ever seen.
    The point of a 4-way stop sign is to SIMPLIFY the passage of traffic, not to make it more complicated.

  13. That Central Avenue is a train wreck. It’s the leaders of this town who are at fault at leaving that busy street for all of us to sit and suffer and not do anything about it.
    If they lived in central Ave and had to use that light each day, they would understand the frustration and nightmare that it is .
    Having said that
    Many times the people in the left lane are waiting to make a left turn and people on the right are going straight
    Just to give that person the benefit of the doubt
    He probably thought everyone was turning .
    Let’s not use the scoop as our grievance box to air out every Tanya we have and increase Chilul Has-Shem, ok?

  14. I have had simular experiences many times, and i know I am not alone. Many times the perpetrators are (otherwise) ehrichah chushuvah yidden. I suggest next time someone does something like that or even more safe forms of cutting the line, like coming out of the parking lot on Clifton and fist… Honk the guy down so he/she understands that they are doing something wrong. I don’t imagine they see themselves as the mushchisim they actually are. If you make it obvious that everyone understands that they just poshea binizakim, or worse, and just blatantly cut the line hopefully they will think twice next time.
    My message to drivers is, when someone does something wiled or just wrong, honk at him load and clear, if everyone honks hopefully it will not be “OK” for a yungerman to drive likea knucklehead.

  15. Many times the problem is that some of the drivers on the turning lane are very slow. They may be “out-of-towners” or “young overly cautious moms” or “distracted teens (on phones…)” or “drivers who must stare into other cars to see who is driving and what they are wearing…”

    In ALL these cases, they deserve to be cut off by quicker, normal city drivers, ALBEIT IN A SAFE MANNER.
    Lakewood is a busy, fast paced city… Dont drive here like you would drive in HICK-town, USA!
    People are in a rush, that’s why they chose to DRIVE. If you have all day to space-out: stay home or WALK!
    Those who clog the roads are the real thieves, stealing everyone’s valuable time while they la-di-da in their cars.
    And, if you’re too scared to drive in the big city (manhattan….) DONT DRIVE IN LAKEWOOD (take Uber, or walk)
    If you drove like an airhead in NYC, you’d be cut off a million times over- so yes, Lakewood is a big busy scary city, now get off the wheel and stop wasting everyone’s time- UR THE DANGEROUS ONE!!

    • @nyc driver
      This comment makes me so sad. No wonder most people under the age of 30 don’t consider Lakewood the ir hatorah. NYC is a regular American city and you seem to be comparing Lakewood to that- fast paced, quick city. Oy that this is what Lakewood has become in your eyes? That’s what an ir hatorah is? Look at R’ Chaim’s zt”l bnei brak and you’ll see what an ir hatorah should look like! And you have no patience for anyone except for quick young people! You don’t belong in the ir hatorah where one can only become a lamdan if he first has mentchlichkeit. Nebach nebach! I hope you’re post was a purim joke:(

  16. Traffic lights must put up everywhere especially for left turns. The speed limit unfortunately must be reduced in the whole Lakewood/Jackson/Toms River area. This is not the same place it was and it is only going to get more congested. We cannot continue this way safely. Too many lives have been lost! It is heartbreaking! Something Must Be Done!

  17. When it happens to me I take a deep breathe and remember how fortunate I am to live amongst Bnei Torah who are rushing because they don’t want to miss a single Amein yehei shmei rabbah or to write down another shtikl Torah while it’s fresh.
    Mi Ka’amcha Yisroel!

  18. I agree with the writer. However to @Dan, I live on Caranetta Dr, it is almost impossible for me to get out of my own street. People won’t let me on to Central Ave to turn onto Rt 9, because they assume, like you, that I’m just trying to cut traffic. Myself and my neighbors are thinking of petitioning the township to make Caranetta one way from Freeman to sunset so people don’t use it as a short cut. It is out of hand, for some reason people get behind a wheel and forget all Yashrus and Derech Eretz… and the is supposed to be the “Ir Hatorah”!

  19. While we are on the topic, why don’t we mention the “tzadikkim “ who on clifton and pine street stop to let everyone cut them making me late to pick-up and other things. That is another type of stealing. Think about all the cars behind that will lose a few minutes because of your “tzidkus” (same as cutting in a grocery line…unless you ask everyone)

  20. They asked the Chazon Ish ZTL if cutting someone in line is Geneiva. He replied that it is much worse than Geneiva, because the concept of having a place in line is based on basic human decency which respects concepts on which an orderly society must accept in order to function correctly, such as “first come, first serve.” If you take someone’s place in line, you are disrupting this and behaving as animals who take things from each other based on which animal is stronger or faster and which do not live according to orderly rules.

  21. Funny how so many people are
    Saying that those who cut off slow drivers etc are the ones without yashrus ans stealing.. if you can’t keep up with the speed limit, can’t turn judge the distance between your turning car and the car coming down the street, hesitate to make the turn until there are no cars in your view, stop to let people cross where they are not supposed to be crossing etc etc, is that yashrus to thr confident drivers waiting behind you? People don’t need to have patience for drivers that can’t keep up with the traffic. They should stick to less busy times to be on the road.

    • What a terrible comment. Some “confident” people do not belong on the road, period. We see accidents all the time, some quite serious, because of “confident” drivers like you trying to save a few seconds by going around the slow pokes. And BTW, the word you are searching for is “reckless,” not “confident.”

  22. What about slamming on one’s brakes in the middle of a street or highway unexpectedly to pick up a bachur? Isn’t that selfish, too?

    • why?
      what makes u think its ok to waste everyone’s time?
      i’m not talking about senior citizens- i’d never cut them off, but those teenaged drivers who are to focused on their whattsapp to move, and the yenta who’s staring into everyone else’s car??? they deserve to be cut off and should get off the road. this sounds like s’dom- blaming the normal people who want to get to work or yeshiva on time

      • You don’t own the road. You don’t get to drive recklessly, no matter how frustrating the speed of the driver before you. Cutting people off with heavy traffic all around is a recipe for disaster. Please stop driving while you’re still ahead of the game. You will not get to yeshiva on time if an accident happens because of you. And if you do get there on time by driving like a beheima, all your Torah learning is mitzvah haba’ah bi’avairah..

  23. Chill out everyone. Don’t start crying and running to your therapist every time you get cut off. Just know: you snooze you lose….

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