Letter: Insulted or Hurt?

Dear Readers, Recently I wrote this after a personal experience and I hope it helps you as well.

Your WORST Moment? Or your Very BEST Moment?

Have you ever felt sharply insulted or hurt? Has a critical parent or a teacher, or your husband or your wife ever shattered your world and brought you to the verge of tears? Were you ever deeply shamed or humiliated and you wish you could just dig a hole in the ground and disappear for a while?

When you are hurt by another person, you have a very precious moment. A true עת רצון , a moment where you can daven for anything you desire. Maybe you have a friend who very much needs a Shidduch, a neighbor who is sick and needs a recovery, a family struggling to make ends meet. The pain you suffer now atones for major sins, and you are now purified. Your Tefillos are potent and very desirable to Hashem.

So don’t lose the moment! Don’t answer back the one who wronged you or become confrontational! Go immediately and speak to Hashem, asking Him for everything you need, and give Brachos to everyone you know, by mentioning their names and truly blessing them.

The Kabbalist Rav Moshe Kordevero writes, (brought down by the Chida in Avos 1:17) אין לך דבר שמכשיר הנפש ומכפר עוונותיו כשומע חרפתו ושותק ומוחל, ‘There is nothing which prepares the soul and atones for its sins like one who hears his disgrace and is quiet and forgives’ – It’s literally a Yom Kippur for you (R’ Chatzkel Levenstein)

The Gemara in Gittin 36b states:הנעלבין ואינן עולבין שומעין חרפתן ואינן משיבין עושין מאהבה ושמחין ביסורין עליהם הכתוב אומר ואוהביו כצאת השמש בגבורתו

‘Those who are ignored and don’t ignore back, who hear their disgrace and don’t respond, who serve Hashem from love and are joyous in suffering, on them the verse states ‘And Those who love Him will be like the sun going out in its strength’

The Vilna Gaon writes: בכל רגע ורגע שאדם חוסם פיו זוכה לאור הגנוז שאין כל מלאך ובריה יכולין לשער ‘For every moment that a person closes his mouth he merits the Hidden Light [of goodness] which no angel or creature can fathom’

So use these potent and powerful moments and bring great ישועות to those close to us who need it most, because now you are cleansed and pure and your Tefilos will have an immeasurable effect!

– A mother and a professional

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  1. This is another newfound Segula, making its rounds every few years. It is wonderful that people control their mouths, and it is a great zechus for them.
    But the Gemara is slightly different, see the Chinuch where he explains it as a lofty level, not something that any of us have a shaychus to yet.

  2. It seems from Rav Moshe Codevero as quoted that it’s not enough to keep quiet, you also need to be mochel.
    That takes gevurah & work. May we all strive to reach that level because it’s not easy to honestly be mochel someone as their insulting you.

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