Several days ago after davening in shul, a young kid, probably around 10 years old, approached me and asked me if I was going home. He lived on my block and wanted a ride home.
I lied, and even though I was headed home, I told him I wasn’t going home. He found a ride with someone else.
Why did I lie? I’ll tell you why. We live in a crazy world, where people are accused of all different crazy stuff. The last thing I need is for people to see a child getting out of my car, and suspecting something inappropriate. I felt a bit guilty about lying, but I just felt it was the right thing to do.
Am I paranoid? Am I taking it too far? Did I act incorrectly?
I was curious to hear other people’s opinions on this.
Signed, an open-minded person living in 2023.
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I think you should’ve given him a ride if it was after Shul and you we’re going anyway. And if you do nothing wrong then don’t worry.
The correct thing to do would be to call the parents and ask if it’s okay if you give their kid a ride
👍🏻
I think this guy is paranoid and ridiculous.
If you are not guilty of something nobody will accuse you of it. (unless sometimes if you’re a very political person you may get accused just by your enemies for political reasons. But the average person is not that person and it definitely doesn’t sound like you are that person)
PS: I am staying out of the discussion of legality and the discussion of how parents should be training their kids that if they do hitchhike they have to be extra careful.
I do think you are paranoid! Do you let your neighbors come into your house to play with your kids? Do neighbors come collect tzedoka at your door?
The kid knows you and you know him. I would have given him a ride
My kids are forbidden from hitching. I’m a single mom and will get into the car any time of day or night to go pick them up. That’s part of parenting responsibility.
Another reason consider is if you were involved in an accident and something happened to the minor child you could be seriously sued.
Unless there’s reason to suspect you, you should have given him a ride.
Yes kids and young kids especially should not be hitching. If we all don’t give them rides either they’ll go on their school busses or parents will be responsible for their kids.
Yes, this was paranoid.
There’s a famous saying, “better safe than sorry”.
I think you should’ve called his parents to let them know but you definitely didn’t do anything wrong and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
I commend you for thinking like that, for some reasons many Jewish ppl don’t think like that and it’s time for a change, same goes for a regular hitch (-obviously on the shoulder, not in the middle of the road…)
Poor kid. His mother can’t get out in the morning to drive him and he is makpid on davening with a minyan. So he assumes he can trust his neighbor and he asks for a ride. He’s been warned NOT to go with strangers and he finds out that his neighbor is stranger than ever….
PS. Parents, if your tyere yingel wants to daven with a minyan, cherish it and do your utmost to facilitate it.
I’m not sure mocking is the correct thing here. This is a legit and serious question and as pointed out by the comments seems to have some real validity to both approaches. Mocking is simply uncalled for and immature
not sure where you see the mockery
I would have asked this kid for his father’s number and called him first to ask him and let him know.
if you know the kid’s parents, you should take him,
also, rather he goes with you than shnors a ride from a stranger. He is probably safer with you.
unless you are a predator…
You did the right thing. Adults should not be interacting with children they do not know.
you can have a rear facing dash cam installed to allay your fears and then you can give many rides to sooth your conscience
Remember that story in Flatbush, when that innocent Yungerman almost had his life and the life of his family members ruined.
We live in a crazy and cruel world. Keep away from children at all costs.
Today’s society is nuts and scary.
Unfortunately, you did the right thing.
There is no right or wrong. No one can force someone to do a chessed. Everyone has free will and can make their own decisions without being judged, ridiculed, shamed or guilted. The 10 year old’s parents are responsible for how he gets to and from shul. It is not your responsibility to take care of his needs. He shouldn’t have gone to shul if he didn’t have a way home. Nobody has a right to demand favors from anyone. Hitchhikers included.
There’s to many children missing and if I was a parent I would be giving my kid/kids a ride not a stranger not in today’s world
To protect yourself against insane accusations, you do need to be a bit paranoid. I agree with commenters who pointed out that the best option is to call the boys parents, but im not sure if I would have thought of that on the spot.
What was the heter to Lie?