Letter: Has This World Gone Mad?

After much frustration, I felt compelled to write my horrific experience

and would like to hear from others as well. With covid-19 taking over a big part in our lives, unfortunately we have all gotten used to the new norms. Whether the new norms are “normal”, we don’t have much of a choice to live with the new realities. Unfortunately,  many people have lost  loved ones and we must try our best to continue following the health guidelines necessary to minimize the spread of the virus. However, today I was blown away by the level of absurdity this has come to.

Today, I took my son to a dentist appointment. I have been to many appointments during Covid-19 and I’m quite familiar with the health precautions each office takes to protect themselves and others around them.  

-I’m familiar with the covid-19 related questions asked prior to an appointment.

I can agree to that. 

-I’m familiar with wearing a mask to an appointment.

I can follow through with that. 

-I’m familiar with the fact that you’re only allowed to bring the child who’s being seen

I’ll make arrangements for that. 

-I’m familiar with needing to stay in my vehicle until they are ready to let me enter their facility 

I’ll swallow that. 

-I’m familiar with temperature checks before entering a facility

Ill have to handle that. 

-I’m familiar with a facility asking me to change my mask with a mask they believe is more protective. 

I have to listen to that. 

-I’m familiar with them asking covid-19 questions “again” upon entering their facility.

I’ll answer to that. 

However, Listen to where humanity has taken us. After checking in to my child’s dentist appointment and finally making it through “security” I was kindly asked to go back to my vehicle and that they will let me know when my child is done. I was taken aback. I could not believe that precautions have taken us to this new level. We are hitting rock bottom. Are Covid-19 requirements stealing our rights to security and having the ability to supervise, protect, and comfort our children? My child who’s 5 years old would have to fend for himself at the dentist?? I, as a parent  who always comfort my children that a parent will always be there for their safety was suppose to comfortably allow my child to be escorted by a total stranger? What has this world come to? I, as my child’s advocate stood up for my child and refused to allow this to happen. Thankfully the receptionist allowed me to join my child after I put up a fuss. After walking towards the examining room I couldn’t help but notice another woman (non Jewish) standing near her child while he was being examined. All I can hope is that she wasn’t  just “allowed” inside and that she too had to fight for her rights of being her child’s caregiver at the dentist. 

I hope this story is read by many and that the message is loud and clear. As much as covid-19 changed  our lives, it should not effect our humanity and our clarity. Stand up for what is right and don’t allow others to dictate your life.

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50 COMMENTS

  1. When the Dr came in to the room you should have asked HIM about it (& mentioned that you noticed the other women with her child) & if the Dr didn’t have a satisfactory answer you should have gotten up & left and told him you will report this across social media

    • Yah, and let your child suffer from that tooth ache or wait till it needs a root canal just to show the Dentist.
      Right, so haw many kids do you have?

  2. What does it mean “I’ll have to swallow that” concerning staying in your car. What does it mean “I’ll handle that” concerning temperature checks? Most dentists want parents in the room with the children so that they can do their work. This was not “mad” but just an outlier.

    Remember when dentists first starting using masks back in the 1990s. The sad case of Kimbery Bergalis who withered away and testified before Congress before she died after catching a dreaded infectious disease from her dentist. Perhaps your dentist is simply being extremely cautious.

    On the contrary, have we all gone mad? Our nation is under attack with this pandemic. This has only happened once before in American history (smallpox was usually contained to single areas). Where has our patriotism gone?

    • You have a responsibility to care for the wellbeing of your children. Leaving a child unattended with a dentist is borderline abuse.

      There can be serious psychological consequences.

      If you truly believe that accompanying your child at the dentist is life threatening, than having a dentist put instruments into your sons mouth is also extremely dangerous. You should not venture outside at all during this life threatening pandemic! Don’t risk your life for a dentist appointment!

  3. Yes, crazy!!! I had the same story with my 5 year old daughter. I unfortunately was not given permission to go in with her no matter what I did or said. Let’s stand up for our rights and not let’s socialism take over!

    • You should have left!

      I believe I know which dentist you the poster was referring to. There have been some bad stories in our community with him despite recommendations from local pediatricians.

      Know that this is NOT normal & most dentist are more than happy to have parents accompany their children.

  4. not acceptable. not a state mandated protocol. just the dentist office being jerks. cuomo did a great disservice when he said we are flattening the curve. us not G-d. what a fool, and his followers are too.

  5. well written, thank you!
    i had a medical procedure this week and i was supposed to quarentine for three days prior. i had to sign that i wore a mask the entire time during my quarentine -AT HOME! Now i understand how communism and socialism makes liars out of an entire population…its the only way to survive.

  6. The lack of water in schools since COVID-19 drives me crazy.

    My kids bring water bottles but they sometimes leak or need more than they brought and are forced to stay thirsty until they get home.

    How can our schools be blind to basic needs?

    They can take govt. money and only and give apple juice and milk, but water when the kids are thirsty after playing? No, sorry. Water fountains must be closed.

    Let them be allowed to fill up their water bottles in the fountain, not drink straight from there. or provide disposable cups. Or let each class get a bottle of water to keep in the classroom.

    There are so many ways that our kids can have access to water hygenically.

    • Did you try letting the school know… There most likely is a cost involved in cups or bottled water… the govt doesn’t pay for water 😉 but maybe they can charge parents an extra $2 a month to supply the class with water… they charge for supplies, nit check, library… nobody seems to be bothered by that… at least not that I have yet heard…

    • Same. My kids finish their water bottle and then have to wait until they get home for more water. That’s abuse. Last week was nicer weather and sometimes even 2 bottles aren’t enough.

  7. I had the same experience and also put up a fuss and they let me in. But I had forewarning about the rule from an email that the dentist office sent out. We were getting ready to change practices. (Maybe we still should!)
    Good for you that you did not back down.

    I feel a physical twinge when I think about the people who did not know they can fight the rule, and did not accompany their children.

    It is really not right that the dentist forces parents to do this.

  8. Lol! 2yrs ago receptionist at the dentist screamed at me because I wanted to go back to my car to get my phone and left my 17 and a half in the dentist chair all by himself!!!
    “We can’t treat your son if you’re not there!!!”
    Times have changed!!

  9. If I understand correctly who the dentist is, as soon as we got a letter saying that due to COVID they will not allow patients to use the bathrooms, we said we are leaving the practice. How can they expect kids to drive 35 minutes there, the whole appointment and go back home without using the bathroom?

  10. publicize dentist’s name and i’m sure they will come around! – I would never use a dentist for my young child that would be that way… any child under 12 should be required to have parent/guardian with them. There are plenty of nice dentists in town/near town – no reason to stick with them.

  11. separating a parent from a small child who is receiving medical care is immoral and unethical…and probably illegal…highly suspicious behavior that leaves the Dr and his office open to subsequent allegations and accusations…even potential litigation. COVID 19…a disease which should be taken very seriously…has also become an excuse for unacceptable “policies” and behaviors.

  12. As long as you keep patronizing places that require these outlandish precautions, they will think this is what people want. Go somewhere else, bring your business elsewhere and they will get the message. There are other dentists that are way more chilled. My children’s dentist takes our temperature, requires masks and asks us to call when we get there before coming in but that’s it.

  13. After reading all of these, I see no one thinks of the other side. If a child is under the age of 7 you should be able to go in the room with him at the dentist office. If you don’t like that then wait till the vaccines are ready.They wil l l be out in a few months. That will be another issue, people that will not get the vaccines. I have doctors and nurses in my family and they are afraid every day that they go to work. Also many teachers. They can not afford to stay home. We have never had this virus before and we are all afraid. Have compassion for all of these workers. We are at a new time. Walmart is now keeping track of the number of people in the building. They all should and will again.
    shop alone.

  14. You are 100% right. It is extremely important to be with your child.
    By the way some dentists will let you wait in the waiting room if no one else is there.

  15. As someone who is good friends with a pediatric dentist ( not in lkwd) I broached this question to them about letting parents in rooms or not. Their response was that while they will always let the parents in for the first visit of cleanings etc., they don’t allow them in the room when doing actual room. The reason is because more often than not the parents are a distraction and hinderance to the child. This is especially true when the parents make dumb comments i.e “he’s not gonna hurt you it’s just a small needle”, ” if you don’t stop crying you’re gonna get in trouble”, “don’t move when she drills your teeth”. (I forget the other examples they mentioned). While the parents are trying to help, or are just frustrated that their kid is making a fuss it scares the child even more and ruins the dentist’s ability to manage the kids behavior. Pediatric dentist are actually very well trained in behaviour management and can generally guide the child allowing them to cooperate.
    ( The dentist asked that I don’t mention their name so I apologize for the anonymous comment)

  16. I think that at some offices, it is a little bit similar to a game. The nurse is hoping that you will go back to your car. If you explain that my child needs me close by, I guess most offices will grant your request.
    Another option is that if the waiting room is large, then you can sit in the corner and tell your child that you are in the waiting room.

  17. My pediatrician had crazy practices & their handling of Covid really showed me what their priorities were and it was definitely not me or the patients.
    So, I switched practices. You can do the same, especially with a dentist which is a lot easier to find than a good pediatrician.

  18. Covid-19 is the most fascinating illness. I have been saying this since the beginning. It is such a wonderful, convenient excuse for people to engage in all sorts of crazy behaviors and implement all sorts of unacceptable policies all in the name of “Covid-19”. And nobody can dare open their (masked) mouth to protest because after all – do YOU want to be the cause of Covid-19 spreading?? (even thought the true reason for the policy obviously has nothing to do with Covid-19 spreading) Craziness. I truly hope and pray that enough people protest these immoral, unethical, cruel behaviors and policies before they become considered normal.

    In specific for your situation – get up and leave the practice! and let them know why you are leaving – and that you will spread the word to others to leave. Suddenly, after enough people leave, they might miraculously find a way to change their policies!

    Forcing a parent to leave a 5 year old child to have dental work alone with the parent far away is literally child abuse!

    Somehow, although it is the year 2020, way too many people have forgotten about the whole aspect of people’s well being called mental and emotional health. Which is just as important as physical health (or perhaps even more so)!

    The chances of the masked, distanced parent who has been so intensely screened passing Covid-19 to the dentist – (when the child the dentist is treating from the same family won’t pass it on) – is tiny. The chances of the child having long term psychological trauma from the experience – VERY high. Bottom line – the dentists care about themselves way too much and about their patients – way too little. LEAVE THE PRACTICE!!

  19. Switching dentists is not that simple. Many practices wont allow you to join without beginning with a cleaning. And if you are on a medicaid HMO and had a cleaning within 6 months then you cant pay privately for the cleaning in order to switch practices and get the dental work done.
    My dentist started requiring a rapid covid test before each visit, even with positive antibody test results within 4 weeks. I will not put my children thru a covid test (up to brain) for no reason and then the dental work. I tried to switch to another practice to get the necessary dental work done but noone will take us .

  20. While were on the topic, parents complain to me that they are not comfortable leaving their quarantined kids at home by themselves, but they have no choice. Guess what? Everyone has a choice. Your child comes first and you do what you need to do (not follow all rules exactly if they make no sense) because you need to survive this madness with the kids in tact. Same goes with little kids wearing masks on their nose for prolonged periods of time. Does anyone know what the long term affects of this is?

  21. first thanks for writing
    but before you post the dentist name which you should , be fair and lets allow him to respond & confirm the facts as you presented
    so please send him the link and let us know

  22. I too had a horrible experience at the dentist. I immediately called and made a complaint. Alot of times the staff is nervous and implement their own rules. Make sure you don’t get pushed around and don’t hesitate to stand your ground

  23. Wow. Just wow. Some story. Good you spoke up. That is unethical to force a parent to part from their child at a doctor’s visit. A lot can go wrong. A child shouldn’t be left in an examining room alone with a doctor, no matter how upstanding a person the doctor is.

  24. This just happened to us this week with my 4 and 5 year old daughter.
    When my 4 yr old heard them say I can’t come in she started running down the block. Then she finally agreed to go in with my 5 year old. But of course didn’t cooperate with X-rays or a cleaning so they ended up letting me come inside for a cleaning but they said it’s too late for them to take X-rays. This is after months of then pushing off our dentist appointments due to Covid-19…Totally ensane!!

  25. I was at this dentist today. I called first and said my child will need me so i will need to stay in the room and they said that’s fine. Please be proactive and call ahead. Let them know your child needs you. I also saw other parents in the room too. My son needed the bathroom and that was OK too. I don’t think i got special treatment to use the bathroom because it was not a big deal. In general i have had good experiences with the practice.

  26. A highly educated doctor, Dr. Roger Hodkinson, recently spoke publicly about Covid restrictions in his country, Canada. Please google Dr. Roger Hodkinson + Canada + Covid

    We need to stand up for ourselves, bec no one will do it for us.

  27. U shld leave the practice. Everyone shld. If we enable them to bully us and hate on us, we are to blame. Leave! There are plenty of other options out there.

  28. Many of the people who succumbed to coronavirus in the hospital, did so because family wasn’t allowed into the hospital to care and advocate for them. We most stop this nonsense of having the most paranoid OCD people among us set the policy of how to deal with this virus.

  29. @Chaim is correct. People are dying because they are not going to good hospitals or hospitals that allow others to accompany them. Call Somech Hotline if you need a good hospital.

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