Dear Principal, Teachers, Rabbis, and Leaders,
I am writing to express my deep frustration and concern regarding the current school schedule and its impact on working families. As you are well aware, the cost of living has increased significantly, and many families rely on dual incomes to make ends meet. This reality has been extensively discussed in various forums, including podcasts, conferences, and articles.
However, despite the widespread acknowledgment of this challenge, our educational system seems to be disconnected from the needs of the people. The extended summer breaks, early dismissals, and irregular schedules make it extremely difficult for parents, particularly mothers, to balance their financial responsibilities with childcare obligations.
What is even more perplexing is that it appears that instead of addressing the challenges faced by working families, the system seems to be adding longer breaks and free days every year, further exacerbating the issue. This trend feels like a lack of consideration for the struggles that average families face. It seems that the system is taking advantage.
As a result, working mothers like myself are left with limited options. In the best-case scenario, our children spend hours on devices with minimal supervision, while in the worst-case scenario, they are left on their own, with little to no adult guidance, which can lead to a range of negative consequences. There’s absolutely no good outcome for children, coming from weeks of no real schedule.
I urge you to explore potential solutions and prioritize the well-being of the children of klal yisroel.
Sincerely,
A working mom who is feeling the stress
TLS welcomes your letters by submitting them to [email protected]
Every family around the world faces the same struggles. You have to adapt. School is not your babysitter.
That is not true brooklyn finishes daycamp a week after lakewood the brooklyn schedule balanced out the days it should be such a long break between.. lakewood will always cry but won’t help itself
There is more to the world than Brooklyn.
The point is that Lakewood complains that they are theonly place that has these issues. Guess what, this is how it is everywhere. Lakewood needs to get over themselves.
If you want to go beyond Brooklyn, here you go. Most out of town schools give 8 weeks vacation not 12. They start the girls in mid August.
Where is that? Not Detroit, Baltimore, Chicage, cleveland. Name the place.
There are plenty of moving companies to take you to Brooklyn so you may sleep.
Every daycamp in Brooklyn has it’s own schedule. Some just finished this week,at least one finished 1.5 weeks ago.
There is no reason that school has to start with 3 days of early dismissal.
I can understand 1, the first day but after that it should be a full day.
no one is saying the school is a babysitter.
But the schools want ppl to pay but make it so hard to hold down a good job
Where is it any different? This is how it is everywhere.
This is how it is everywhere does not mean the system is good.
So, it stinks everywhere….
No. The world is the world. Why does your needs take precedent over the teachers needs? You Lakewood clowns need to stop expecting the world to do your bidding. All those who want schools open 12 months a year, with a 8am-6pm schedule, should get together and open a boys and a girls school. Otherwise, zip it. It’s called being a parent. If your child has 102.7 fever do you send your child to school because you have work that day?
Teachers are off in the summer.
Once school starts it should start fully.
Why should there be a half day for 3 days to start the year?
Answer that.
I am not asking for school the whole year.
I am asking that when it starts it should start… fully…
Also love the name calling. Shows you are quite the class act. A real nice fellow to be around.
That’s how it has been forever. Open your own school to the standards you want. I know a mechanech, who hs been in chinuch for decades, he had an issue with how the yeshiva he worked in was doing things. When he called his Rosh yeshiva, the rosh yeshiva told him that he should either follow the yeshiva method or open his own Yeshiva. Same for all whom are complaining. I don’t like it either, as Brooklyn is the same way. However, unless I’m going to open my own school, I have to live with the way things are. this is how it’s been for decades.
That I am. That’s how all schools are. In Brooklyn as well.
Ok so we won’t expect the world to change, we’ll quit our jobs because our bosses don’t let us take off 3 half days in a row, and we’ll request a tuition break. Will the school be happy??
Grow up and be an adult. Make a round robbin on the block. I live in Brooklyn. We have the same issue. Everyone figures something out. Is it difficult? Yes. Are there individual solutions? Yes. Majority of Lakewood people have many relatives. Some of whom are grandparents of the children without school or half days. Reach out to each other. How about a group of mothers reach out to one of the many just returned from seminary girls that need work. MAybe one of them would be willing to earn some cash for after her Chasunah.
To most of us the school also serves as a babysitting service otherwise we would homeschool. It’s especially frustrating when we pay for a service and not receive it.
You know what you’re getting as it’s the same kvetching every year.
What is the service that you’re actually expecting to receive? School is for learning. What more do you want? They don’t work around your schedule and your convenience.
Yeah, I’m sorry, but they are.
This is an outdated slogan from a time not so long ago when most mothers were home with their children. It was valid then, but it is no longer. In a world where steady childcare is necessary to ensure that both parents can hold real earning jobs as needed to pay for life, the schools must evolve from the once valid “schools isn’t daycare”
Where in the world has that happened? No where. Why should Lakewood Kvetches get what they want? All those who want that should open their own schools. You can have school 12 months a year. 8am to 6pm. Sunday through Friday. Make it to suit yuor needs and problem solved.
NO ONE WANTS 12 MONTHS A YEAR!!!
People do want reasonable and normal scheduling…
And your refrain is lakewood kvetchers should shut up because this is how it is…
What an intelligent response.
It’s the same everywhere else as well. Open your own school with the system you believe is best. Let’s see how many teachers you sign up to work the schedule you want? Are you ready to pay 150k per preschool morah? I deal with the same issues in Brooklyn. My point is to stop kvetching because you don’t like life.
The other option is to nopt get married. then you won’t have to be an adult. this is part of parenting. taking off from work when your child is off or under the weather.
kudos to the person who took the time to write what many people are thinking. I would venture to say that regardless of working parents or not the lack of structure for any child is detrimental.
Couldn’t have said it better myself!
Noted. Now show that you are serious and not a random looking to generate hock, by sending this as an email or regular mail to each and every school in Lakewood.
I think the letter writer’s intention in putting out this letter on TLS is to see if most people at least are of the same opinion. (And I think they are.) And if yes, then as a tzibbur collectively perhaps something could be done. It would be a total waste of time and resources for just one person on his /her own to send out such a consideration to any of the schools in Lakewood as itll go nowhere, so not sure what you’re actually hocking about…
Kudos to the letter writer for bringing this issue on to the debate floor..
What floor are you talking about? Lakewood needs to face reality, you’re teh same as every place else. You’re not going to get something different because you kvetch on TLS.
If the girls and boys had the same off days not separate maybe it could work. Also maybe families could spend a few days together instead of having to take some kids out of daycamp which you are paying good $$$ for. Other communities do it so can Lakewood!!
you nailed it. This is exactly what’s need be done and is done in chassidish communities. Boys and girls should be on same schedule more or less. The system now is completely ridiculous!
Not in Brooklyn. I also doubt the Lakewood Chasidish schools do it. Maybe Monroe and New Square. No where else.
Which communities? Not anywhere in Brooklyn.
Realy? Where is that? Certainly not Brooklyn!
Could not have said it better myself. I would add, while the number of school days seem to shrink each year, tuition continues to rise. Additionally, even as a stay at home mom myself, with children of different ages on overlapping schedules, there are entire weeks of someone always home. This means constantly entertaining them and spending endlessly to keep them occupied. As the original writer noted, the way things are currently structured, feels increasingly out of touch with the needs of our community.
Open your own school, with 12 months of schooling.
I think most parents would actually LOVE that!!! 12 months of schooling would be amazing!!!
So open the school.
I can’t do it myself!! Want to help me?
Just home school. Same idea. You cfeate the schedule.
The rise in tuition would be amazing too.
Girls only start school at the end of next week and have been off since the end of last week. That’s almost 2 weeks of no camp or school. This is not about schools being babysitters. This is about the fact that unless you are working in a girls school, if you have daughters, the system does not work for working or learning parents.
This is how it has been for a century in America.
You surely picked a good name for yourself
You’re an irresponsible clown. If you don’t want to be an adult and a parent, don’t get married and have children. It’s your job to take care of your children. Figure it out.
Saying no one should ever advocate for change because this is how it has been done for a 100 years is pathetic.
This isn’t advocating. It’s complaining about the responsibility you signed up for when you got married. If you don’t want to be a parent, don’t get married. next some school is going to offer what you want but charge 3k more. You’ll kvetch about that as well. The Lakewood motto of today is to kvetch that the world isn’t bending over backwards to feed my needs.
LOL that’s why in England change is very slow.
Sorry, but the chassidishe camps ended this week. Agudah started this new shtick to start camp straight out of school. If one starts a week early they need to end early. They felt if the girls and boys are on the same schedule it would be good. (everyone is home for ELUL) But the girl’s schools did not follow that. They open according to public schools. Only the camps followed Agudah’s Decree. We got to get our act together. Not sure why the Litvishe and yeshivisha crowd can’t get their act together. Maybe we should go get lessons from the chassidishe camps and schools. Their kids are not sitting around so long!
No one followed Aguda. Chasidshe kids are sitting around in Brooklyn.
we cannot question how Daas Torah operates in this town
Why do you think the schools asked Daas Torah regarding their school schedule?
Das Torah runs the schedule?
Every single year we have the same issue and every single year we have letters like this here, and other platforms, and nothing ever changes.
Nothing needs to change, aside for the attitude. Why should Lakewood be different then any place else? Because you’re too lazy to be a parent?
Dude, you need to get a life, you commenting on every single comment isnt helping anyone, as obviously you are in the minority here that this issue isnt bothering you, or you dont have any kids in school, and if you do, you probably go to work and leave your wife to handle the kids all day who are bored and climbing the walls.
You should actually read my comments. I have children. My wife and I both work. F/T out of the house. Like mature adults, we take turns taking off from work. No matter if the children have vacation, or if one of them are ill and need to stay home. I’m a realist.You’re someone looking for a handout.
You still need to get a life…
My life is great. I’m perfectly happy. hashem gives me what he feels I need. you Lakewood people need to get a life. or turn to torah, and recognize everything comes from Hashem. This kvetching is one of the many reasons I want no part of Lakewood. I find these complaints have a foundation in Kefira. Blame everything on people, no recognition of Hashem anywhere.
when parents realize that school is for education not babysitting we will solve more than just this aggravation
Why is it that public schools have more school days then Lakewood does? They’re also in the service of education, not babysitting, and they have less to teach than the Jewish schools do (half day Hebrew half day English).
Yet except for Federal Holidays and 2 weeks in December and a week of midwinter break, they don’t have off nearly as much as the Jewish schools do.
Public schools are mandated by the state. They go to school for 180 days. With a number of holidays off, more than you mention and addition to teacher “in service” days that require early dismissal or no school at all. And then they are off for almost 12 weeks in the summer. There is plenty to teach: a plethora of math levels, for example, algebra, geometry. Then you have a plethora of sciences: biology, chemistry, environmental, etc. History: world and U.S., English, creative writing, literature. All of the arts, music. Economics, computer science, physical education and yet somehow it all works out.
And many families have 2 parents who work so one has to take off if a child is ill or there’s a holiday or snow day. And many public schools are not in session during Jewish holy days.
Federal holidays are pretty often when you are trying to mail something or go to the bank.
And what about a week spring break?
And a chance of snow closes school.
Mind you, their day is shorter overall so how would you like if your big kids were home at 3:00? How would they fill their “endless days”?
They also end the school year around the same time as us & start after labor day. And their day camps / sleep away camps are much shorter (ask my neighbors!) & more expensive.
The grass ain’t greener on the other side.
The kids deserve a break. They shouldn’t have to be on as strict a schedule as adults.
Employers in Lakewood should allow their workers more flexibility during this time.
Why should an employer give you a break? You should take vacation when your kids have vacation. No vacation in mid July, only the last 2 weeks of August.
Because the entire economy in this town is based on frum women working. Which means employers have to adapt to that reality and allow enough days off to accommodate their workers’ needs.
Many do. But the ones that don’t accommodate cause a lot of stress.
The entire Jewish world is like that. Not just Lakewood. Brooklyn mothers and fathers also work. We’re just adults and deal with the difficulties. We have the same issues with childcare. My wife and I take turns missing work. Both with the kids vacation days amd when the kids are sick. It’s part of being an adult and being a parent.
you are 100% right. the kids need a break after 9 hours a day of school and tests. they work hard, let them have a much needed vacation. so if you r kids are home- get a high school girl to babysit them.
I just don’t understand why yeshiva has started already August 25, when the babysitters, daycares, schools don’t start until September 4th..So a working mother like myself has to take off almost 2 weeks.. Either yeshiva should start a drop later, or the babysitters/morahs can start earlier? I’m confused..
Why does a playgroup have to work on BMG schedule? Are they emplyees of BMG?
The home playgroup networks generally cater to the BMG schedule since the most part the parent doing the drop off is learning at BMG.
However, that is usually with regard to the time that they start and finish their day, not the days that they have off. That usually follows the schedule of the schools that the Morah sends her kids to
That’s how it was 40 years ago. Today play group morahs work on the schedule that’s bet for them. Lakewood is no longer a one horse town.
So you’re a working individual and you get sick days and paid vacation days. Does a Playgroup moral or babysitter get that? No! You have any idea it cost to hire an assistant for a them. My experience is $50 per hour. So if they needed to take off for any reason, in less than 3 days they lose payment for an entire month of 1 child.
I understand that you’re upset, but teachers a human too. They need a break every once in a while. Where I live they give a week of midwinter break. Why does a preschooler need a week long vacation?
And only teachers need breaks?? I dont see anyone else with so many off days in their work schedule. Do you see offices with a 9 week summer vacation? A week of midwinter? Days before YT??
Your salary reflects your non days off
Do you work for the minimal salaries some morahs get?
They chose to work as a morah.
And you chose to be a parent. be a parent. Don’t tell the school to be the parent. Guess what Lakewood people, I live in Brooklyn and have the exact same situation. I or my wife take off whenever any of our children are sick or have vacation. It’s called being an adult and a parent.
Like usual, the ladies have taken over almost all the employment in this town and now they’re looking to complain, like usual, and take over the school systems. They’ll soon be running them in full while hiring Rebbeim only where necessary. The European ideas have come full force into manipulation, after all, if my husband is learning, I’ll need to work in the outside world. Then they become business owners and then they take over institutions. Sounds crazy?? It’s happening.!
What are you talking about?? Taking over the school systems? The Bais Yaakov systems are run by women already, who do you think is teaching the future generation of N’shei Yisroel?
You sound like a misogynist. I think you should see a therapist and work out your mommy issues.
Maybe you should learn to stay home and take care of your children instead of sending them off to babysitters. Women working out of the home in offices with men, in and of itself has probably become the biggest issue we have. No, it isn’t the smart phones that’s the #1 issue. More people will probably get Gehinom from the work environment situations than fully open cell phones.
Maybe you shouldn’t assume that I have kids that I need to send them to a babysitter.
j would LOVE to be a stay at home mom, if I was a mother.
Women going to work was something that was done with the guidance of Daas Torah. Just like Bais Yaakov was started with the guidance of Daas Torah. It wasn’t a decision that was made because of some whim.
with everything in life, education and preparation is the key. That’s why Bais Yaakovs teach and educate their students as much as possible and try to prepare them as much as possible for the challenges that are out there and how to properly handle them.
I think the girls and boys should be on the same schedule as well. It’s actually insane the hoops families with both genders have to jump through. Regarding vacation- there are in between camps they are just a fortune. So it depends how much you make…. Not always worth it
Why do peopel whodon’t want to be parents complain they need a shidduch? They need to have children? Apparently, so many have no interest in being parents, they just want to be part of a clique.
Think about how much money you would save by closing all the girls schools. The mothers would not have to work outside the home and they could teach their daughters all they need to know to get married and have children of their own.
are you doubting Sara Schenirer? dont forget the girls are the ones who will bear the next generation, if they dont have school they will be in the street the whole day
The children have no idea how to entertain themselves. They’re always being shuffled between school and camp and in between daycamps and if not they’re using devices. It’s ok for kids to have some free time to figure out how to play with toys and be creative. Just like we all did for weeks on end. We didn’t all go to daycamp or camp all summer long and we had off for summer vacation longer than they have today.
Exactly. Let them listen to Uncle moshe and color. Or whatever is age appropriate for each child.
While on one side of the coin we rush to blame schools, on the flip side, maybe it’s a issue with camps. I’ll explain. A school generally gives dates for first and last days months in advance if not the beginning of the school year. The job of a camp is to fill that gap that the school leaves(which may very well be deserved by many rebbeim, morahs, teachers etc…..) and entertain/create a fun/relaxing atmosphere for the children. If the camp is the one who’s not filling the gap, the responsibility does not and should not solely fall upon the schools.
That said there are many along all aspects of the (for lack of better terms) “childcare/education economy” that choose to capitalize on the issue. E.g. in between camps, while they may be providing a much needed service the costs(from a parents point of view can be outrageous).
I had a babysitter where I paid by the month, she took off half of June and August, and then charged more for in between camps during that time. I.e. she charged double for certain months because she could. So much blame here should be going to the camps/in between camps and not the school.
All that was in regard to the summer. In regards to the schoolyear, it’s a “Childcare/education” wide issue. I.e. if CHAVA works in a school and her babysitter takes off, CHAVA now has to take off, to care for her children, which in turn leads to the school giving off, the next school now has to give off as well, because those morahs kids go to different babysitters/schools etc…. so it’s simply a community wide issue, and every school needs to understand that when they take off they affect the town as a whole….
In regards to the point that the system is broken, it’s true, it’s practically not possible to have 2 working parents or even learning and working in this town. As young children end school shortly after 2, babysitters don’t go past 3(in general) and they’re taking off all the time.
Good luck in advocating for change.
I am a European (teacher) living in Lakewood. America should switch to the European model – 5 or 6 weeks off in the summer and the rest of the vacation time distributed throughout the year. 11 or 12 weeks off in summer vacation is suicidal!!
The reason it is this way is because it’s easier to find childcare for ten weeks then a week here and a week there
I believe in Europe most of the counter shutdown for term holidays. What would you do with your kids during those breaks if you work in an office?
Time for moms to stop working and home school!!
Respectfully speaking, what is the “extended summer break” you refer to? Boys in Lakewood have less vacation than any frum community I can think of in America. Girls have more but still not a crazy amount when you compare.
I’m not a parent so don’t have personal experience. But I think a better option would be to ask pareents from outside Lakewood what they do about such breaks.
We wing it to the best of our abilities. Is it difficult? Yes. what’s the option, don’t get married? Don’t have a family? This is the world we live in. There are different versions of this problem all over the world.
Homeschool. We can pay off the national debt with the savings from the buses. Poor jays semen tov.
I know I am probably going to get a lot of responses to this however, I am still going to write it. BH you have this problem. There are hundreds even thousands of childless couples that wish they had this problem. Give shevach to Hashem that you have this inconvenience . Another thing to thank Hashem for in this situation is that BH you have a school to send your children to. There are families out there that their children still have not gotten into school. It is hard I am not trying to negate that however, you are really bentched. Thank Hashem that you have children and they have a school to go to. Perhaps the next time you feel this way and you want to complain turn to Hashem and thank him for your children and say a Tefilah for all the childless couples in klal Yisrael should be zoche to children and all children that are still not in school be able to get into school. I think that if you look at it from these two perspectives it will change your outlook.
I did not have kids for many years and it was very painful living in Lakewood watching the kids by the bus stops, the girls in their uniforms, kids running to catch the bus. It was very hard and very painful. Bh I am a mother now and it is far from an inconvenience it is a situation I waited for many years.
Well said.
For this year it is already too late to do something about this. However, if we look at next year’s calendar, Rosh Chodesh Elul is August 14th! NOW is the time to actively work on getting changes made to the “system”.
Dream on. The entire complaint is a joke.
Growing up with parents in klai kodesh, we had chores at home and entertained ourselves. Kids can do this today too with firm and loving expectations