I so appreciate the courage of this relative. This is the first post of the proper view of this tragedy.

Lakewood can be very chalenging for people from getting your kids into school, or to pay tuition or rent or general bills. Traffic and carpooling. Emosions. Many people are suffering and don’t even go for help.

I for one thank you, a relative who is suffering tremendously, taking the time to reach out.
I believe anyone with a heart can intuit that much more than dry details contributed to this heartbreaking and gutwrenching loss and episode.
Am Yisroel will stand with your family, with heart and tefilos. Min HaShamayim Tenachamayhu.
Grieving with you!

It’s an unfortunate situation. And I’m sorry for all parties that are directly affected by this tragedy.

Dearest relative,
I prayed to Hashem all last night and this morning to send your whole extended family the support , strength and resources to deal with this all.
Thinking of you 💭
Your sister in Lakewood

There was a similar episode in ey with in the last few years from a father to his sons.

Mental Illness is real and is an Illness.

HKBH gave these children to this mother and gave this mother this Illness.

We can cry for the pain that everyone in the family is experiencing and daven for everyone to heal.

this tragedy and the past few are obviously some sort of message Hashem is sending us. it takes a gadol to tell us it , my heart tells me its the message of life, that we have to start appreciating and being there and caring for every single yid, there are so many yideen right now going thru so many hard times , alone , and we have to start caring , I’m not a gadol , but that’s my two cents.

Dear Relative
This is probably the most important post for all to read since this tragedy occurred.
Your family is surely in agony and yet you came and shared words of wisdom with the terrified public. Hashem should comfort all of you at this trying time.

There are so many posts telling people if you need help, get help. A post like this however urges those struggling with mental illness, a very real sickness like any other sickness, to please treat it like you would any other illness.

This level of tragedy is unusual but if you struggle and know you may get out of control, it’s crucial to get the proper treatment. You’d be shocked how many people are on the ride with you taking medication. It’s not something to be ashamed of. If anything to be proud of that you are responsible.

Thank you for your extremely sensitive and important letter. I cannot fathom the pain you are going through and feel terrible for your entire family. May you and your entire family only have besuros tovos and the ultimate nechama bekarov.

I was so saddened about this terrible tragedy. I don’t know any details but I do want to say that a lot of people need professional help to deal with many facets of mental illness (anxiety ocd depression etc) People cannot afford the prices that these professionals DEMAND Their price are off the chart. For example $250 for 3/4 hour for a social worker) Even people who earning $300,000 can’t possible afford these fees on a on going basis especially with tuitions, mortgages food on going remedial therapy’s for their other children and on and on. Why were we able to raise $140 million for Benei Torah in no time, which I think is fabulous. Bottom line the stigma of reaching out for help is much more acceptable. It’s the costs that are keeping people away!!!!!!

to the honorable Scoop,
we as klal yisroel have gone through too much we should band together and work on healthy solutions in all areas of life
Hamakom yenachem

To anonymous who posted about the cost of therapy: There are multiple clinics in Lakewood that serve the community with practically free therapy. There are also many special therapists who see clients on a sliding scale. Those looking for resources should reach out to Relief. Help is out there if you are looking for it.

Hashem yerachem. Psychosis is a mental disease with serious implications.

I do not know the proper words to say in Hebrew, but my heart breaks for the family and friends of these children. May they be at peace.
I offer my deepest condolences to the grieving families.

Let’s get real, the clinics are in no way equipped to deal with real issues. When you need real treatment you’re forced to find someone on private practice and we all know that they don’t accept insurance.

It’s a very sad reality, but unless you have the extra 30k a year to get proper mental health counseling, you’re not going to get what you need.

May your family have a Nechama. This is beyond tragic. May all those that need help plse reach out immediately.

My deepest condolences for the loss of your precious family members.
As an outsider looking in, i start by saying that my comment is not based upon religion and/or gender.
Mental health issues are REAL, everywhere. Too often, the stigma that comes with attempting to get help, steers individuals away from obtaining the proper help. Our health care system is broken.
We (meaning, everyone) have a moral obligation to stay alert, and help those individuals in crisis.
It is my opinion, that SOCIETY, as a whole, failed these children and their mother. We must do better! Let’s become more aware and help. Kindness is needed again.
Again, i truly extend my deepest condolences to the families and the community for this horrific tragedy.I mourn with you.💔💔🙏🙏🙏🙏

May your family have a nechama! How do we try to prevent this from happening in the future.

This is very unfortunate and may hashem help the teiara neshamos as well as the mother who clearly needs mental help and the father who will definitely need some help now. We should use this as an opportunity to help people who need the mental help and not brush it under the rug.

Dear relative – your letter means so much to many of us who are grappling with this horrific tragedy and yet want to be able to make some sense of this tragedy and more importantly have the right feelings towards the mother. Obviously there’s a lot we don’t know but by you coming forward and providing some really important facts has really helped us to that end and many in the community are deeply grateful to you. Our hearts are with you and the entire family at this trying time..

This is heartbreaking and sad and the community should offer services and do better and assist in treating people with mental illness to avoid tragedies like this from happening.

Unfortunately I see on many goyshe Facebook groups out there that the cats out the bag and the story is out here with the mothers photo, name and arrest sheet and regardless of the mental illness, in the comment section they portray the mother as a monster. (Hashem yerachem)

May there holy neshomas have an Aliyah sending comfort and healing to the families. Amen

Just two days after the historic visit by the gedolim and this unprecedented tragedy happens. It must be connected! What is Hashem trying to tell us?

המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים. Please know the tzibur charedei feels for the situation and is with the family at this unimaginable time.

I think it’s important to recognize that mental illness as evidenced is all too real and must be addressed by professionals.

Regrettably, often in cases of divorce there are false accusations of mental illness used as a tool in fighting. This is wrong on many fronts and must cease!

There is NO words to describe the pain of this family. There is NO need to add more pain to this open wound.
There is no need to discuss this situation in public which will only add salt to the wound.
We should all be mispallel for the mother and the family that they should overcome this terrible tragedy.

So sorry for this family and the communities loss. I wish healing for everyone. ❤️

High time to start collecting serious monies for causes other than yeshivos.

What happened is traumatic. Mental illness is real and this case is very extreme. I know people that have mental illnesses that take their medication daily. As not to have any relapses. They live normal lives and are not dangerous. We need to all daven for mashiach!

In the Catholic faith, I will say my prayer tonight for the children and the person who (allegedly) committed this unspeakable and horrific act. In times and situations such as this faith and prayer has no borders.

So so sorry for your loss.
May HaShem comfort you at this tragic time.
Our thoughts are with you here in Eretz Yisrael

This is a tragedy no one should have to experience. It is so important to reach out to others and truly make sure they’re doing well. Look for people who seem alone, or are less social than they were. More importantly, we should focus more on mental illness in the community- signs to watch for, teach our kids to encourage others to speak up, recognize that there are treatments.

Mental illness is scary and isolating. I believe too many are afraid to speak up because it will prevent their sibling from finding their kallah, their baby from being placed in the right school. But this is where everyone must band together and help those in need.

First off, my sincere condolences to the family and everybody suffering during this tragic time. I also want to compliment the family member for bravely writing this letter, as I think it was needed and sheds light on what unfortunately happened.

With regard to people trying to pin this on the Lakewood lifestyle, let me be very clear: Please don’t use this to push the wrong agenda.

While Lakewood, Jackson, Toms River and the surrounding areas certainly has many issues and flaws, this particular incident was not a result of the school crisis or high tuition or the traffic or any other asinine reasons mentioned by other commenters above.

It was as a result of somebody who sadly was afflicted with a severe mental illness.

Another poster stated that mental illnesses are not bound by zip codes, and that’s very true.

I do hope this will serve as a wake up call for many in the community to seek help if they need it, and for others who don’t need help to not judge those who do.

Maybe we all come out of this incident stronger and more united.

What happened is beyond our human comprehension and emotions. We know that Hashem is a rachman and he loves those children more than the healthiest parent could have loved them, Hashem only does good and has reasons beyond our comprehension and those pure neshamos must be really high up. As humans we are expected to sit shiva and feel intense pain and mourning, may Hashem give everyone the strength to deal with this tragedy.

As far as Mental health I read the comments above from the people with experience seeking the funds, clinics etc. and can say from my observations with people I know that they are all right on point.

I strongly believe a new organization must be created with the level of care management and funding as there is with Cancer and and all the organizations that support patients like Chai Life Line and many more etc..

I may start this organization with a vision that sees assigned care mangers who follow each patient to ensure they don’t quit or have other challenges with therapy and just give up chas veshalom.

Please join me in this mission!

it is very sad that this tragedy happened no one should ever have to experience this.
the difficulty with mental health is it is not predictable one never know when something will trigger an episode or fallback even when they are on medication.
May Hashem provide comfort to this stricken family and other families who are dealing with mental health in their family.

Funny cause there was a son who stabbed his mother to death in Howell and Lakewood scoop was more than happy to post about it, the scoop didn’t give any thought to the family of the woman. News is news.

The term “mental illness” is incredibly broad. Talk therapy, with or without some mild medication, is useful for most mental illnesses.

But the relative, in this case, reports that the mother has a mental illness including psychosis. A history of psychosis narrows down the diagnoses to just a few possibilities which require very severe pharmaceutical treatment and are due to biochemical abnormalities in the brain which have substantial genetic causes. Psychosis usually indicates schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or a mix thereof.

Son-of-Sam was a schizophrenic. John Hinkley Jr. is a schizophrenic. Schizophrenia is a progressive disease where patients deteriorate in their ability to function. Many street-people are schizophrenic. The vast majority of schizophrenics are not violent. Most schizophrenics have histories of being hospitalized, getting tuned-up on their medications, and then leaving the hospital until they realize that they are normal, they don’t need their medications, and then the cycle begins again.

It is difficult for normal people, who have not interacted with schizophrenics, to understand the level of their thought disorder which progresses with more scrambling of their minds, visual or auditory hallucinations, loss of ego boundaries, creation of nonsensicle words or sentences (called word salad), and much, much more.

I had a rosh yeshiva in yeshiva about 25 years ago tell me there is no such thing as mental illness as its the yetzer hara telling someone to act on impulse, once you are a bar or bat mitzva you are 100% responsible FOR EVERYTHING and that is how I live, I never go to any “professionals” so its insensitive to blame on this mental illness.

In my humble opinion, this poor mother & her children are the canary in the coal mine. B”H this level of dysfunction is very rare, however, as a community, mental illness is still severely stigmatized & people are therefore resistant to seek help. When they seek help, it’s often beyond their ability to pay for the professionalism they need. Our community will pay $1 million to fund the birth of a child but if that child needs psychotherapy & can’t afford it, the parents have little recourse. It’s time for us to acknowledge that mental illness is striking all ages in our community & we need the resources to address it.

I also believe that the Rabbonim should issue recommended guidelines how much psychotherapists should charge. Just like we realize that the costs of chasunah are unsustainable & takanos were made, as a community, we need our leadership to give recommendations in the area of mental heath costs.
An associate at Relief told me that the cost per sessions for psychotherapy have become ridiculous.

An alternative would be to incentivize many more people to enter the field by helping out with scholarships & have an agreed upon max fee schedule for a number of years after graduating school.

I WAS CRYING SO HARD WHEN I HEARD THIS STORRY,
I FILL VERY BAD FOR THE MOTHER OF THOSE 2 KIDS, ITS SAD VERY VERY SAD,
NO ONE HEALTY COULD DO THIS,
I FILL BAD FOR THE SUFFRING SHE WILL GO THROU THE REST OF HER LIFE,,
AND THE FAMLY AROUND, STAY STRONG MY HART IS GOING OUT FOR U

I am a very dear friend of hers. Very very close. I’m a shaken by this. But we have to understand that the fact that this is one incident from all of hatzolah’s calls – clearly this isn’t the norm.

I hope with my entire heart it truly was an isolated episode and that family were fully supportive and did all they could at all times.

My heart is shattered. Sending strength to the family.

David, if you are repeating what your Rosh yeshiva said accurately, he needs to find a different profession. He is coming from a very naive and ignorant standpoint. Mental health is not made up and its very real. How do I know? Because I suffer from it and bh its under control, but before I had it under control it was extremely difficult. People that rl kill themselves are not in the right frame of mind to even contemplate what they have done, that is why we make regular levayos for them. For you to just sweep it under the rug is plain and simple evil. Hashem did not create everyone the same, some people are mentally stable and some are not. You cannot claim that someone who is mentally unstable is held to the same account in shamayim as a mentally stable person

To those asking about the cost of therapy there are websites like Alma and Headway where you can scroll and find therapists that are covered by insurance. There are great therapists covered by insurance it’s time people learn how to find them……

To all those commenting on the price of therapy, including that even one making 300K can’t afford therapy (or obviously any other luxuries):

I have no intention to minimize the challenge to affordable mental health treatment. And yes, how nice it would be if there can be a communal solution to this problem. However, blaming therapists for their fees is not the solution to this problem.

Therapists are also entitled to make a living. A therapist in private practice charging $250 a session is making about 300K. So he/she him/herself won’t be able to afford a luxurious life. We all know how expensive Jewish life has become. A therapist in private practice has typically gone through years of schooling, training, supervision all of which cost enormous amounts of money. They also typically continue paying for on-going supervision, their own therapy and trainings. They also spend years interning for free,
and working for pennies at clinic settings. They are engaged in a very difficult and stressful job. Shouldn’t the be able to charge a fee that will allow them to at least cover their living expenses?

No Frum therapists on the list….

Specifically in complex situations, agencies provide an extra level of care and oversight. The person can receive their therapy, medication and case management under one integrated team. We are so fortunate in Lakewood that we have these amazing places LCSC and Chemed. My family is eternally grateful for the excellent care received.

We are so blessed to have excellent low cost therapy options in Lakewood ie LCSC, Chemed and others. I appreciate that there is always a supervisor on top of the therapists.

This person was under the care of a top psychiatrist. Nothing to do with insurance issues.

Thank you for this post/article.

Lakewood has grown to unbelievable size with so many organizations there for others in need. But the town is a city and more effort, Advocacy and coordination as well funding is required to create a full servicing organization to deal with this. From school age to high school to young adults, newly married and to seniors.

I personally dealt with a family 20 years ago. In some ways lakewood was smaller town, yet the help Yad Rachel did by sending in someone trained into the home daily for months on end to make the home operational while allowing to live in
the home was the best therapitoc outcome
Unfortunately already then the organization could not fundraise to keep this vital service .

# 1 Relief for directing them to the right psychiatrist in NYC and top therapist was the key…it takes time, it takes trial and error and then it takes will power.

The problem is that our insurance companies will yank an approved medicine 20 years later. No care for the possible setback.

The next issue recently I was involved In helping a family who was facing medical and mental crisis. What I found out is they there is no OHEL which oversees that each person in the family gets a social worker and coordinates as a team. There are
many bandaged together organization. Some have mentors to take the individual out of the house for lunch 1x a week if possible. Yet the volunteer mentor told me that she never imagined getting into such a case and wasn’t prepared The
services that yad rachel offered 20 years ago of allowing a patient and family to stay in ones home by offering daily in home care isn’t anymore unless you have deep pockets.

I was shocked that today we are not organized and funded as we should be.

Unfortunately this case is a major tragedy. I dint know the details of this case. And psychosis is very serious. But many cases in House therapy could have been avoided had the correct therapist and therapy as well as experts Dr been involved. Many foster care situations could have been avoided had we had the funded infrastructure which we don’t. And sometimes the organizations must allow someone from outside the family to call in and get professionals to visit and see if a reality check is needed in the home. Sometimes it’s another family member not allowing proper medical intervention.

Schools need to allow therapists and counseling in school. Classes about feelings, emotions and balancing life responsibilities is vital. Life is stressful. Anxiety needs to be dealt with earlier and many situations will not blow out of proportion.

Many happen after a life crises , financial crises, birth and hormone changes. But we need to improve our prevention capabilities and minimize undiagnosed and untreated situations. We need to raise the bar of our current level of care. It’s not sufficent. Suggesting using therapist who are not equipped because they don’t charge much isn’t going to save anyone money in the long run
Yes the good ones are too expensive. And only use ones who are vetted.

Recent line I heard. Dating isn’t therapy. And marriage isn’t a hospital.

Local Evaluations and industry inexpensive therapist are not always the best or properly trained for severe cases.

In fact if an immediate family member doesn’t request services organizations don’t get involved. Many are understaffed. And underfunded. So many calls already to handel that many many cases fall through the cracks.

Family support and awareness is required. As one top psychiatrist stated. Most patients do not need to be hospitalized once stable. Cognitive therapy or other therapies are vital. Family usually can possibly see signs of a set back, not ignore it, and get immediate care , many times by tweaking the meds

An organization like Bridges is amazing as it focus on the respite of the children for a few hours a day and try to make sure the children are safe.
They always need volunteers home and if need volunteer foster homes.
There isn’t sufficient funds to send pateints to top critical inpatient care. Each illness has it specialty. And yes some therapists need to know what they can or cannot handle.

What an amazing thing for you to do- Frank openness is the key to curbing random talk, discomfort around issues etc. may your family find strength to come through this terrible tzaar. I would like to suggest that more detail, while a very personal thing, on thr history of the illness in this case would not be yentish- it would help people who are considering shidduchim feel more comfortable by that with the history there would be signs, symptoms, years of hard work in therapy etc. unfortunately saying that it was a completely random and isolated, unpredictable instance (and maybe it was, forgive me if I’m wrong), can lead to more fear surrounding mental illness- if someone is considering a shidduch with a person with controlled mental illness, this may make them pause and wonder if something random like this could happen to that person as well. A history would be incredibly helpful in trying to make sense of such a sad and senseless tragedy. Fully understand if that’s too sensitive to share, just wanted to put it out there. Your family should have a nechama b’karov

Therapists could not have helped this woman in such a state. Only medication or hospitalization could have helped her. The cost of psychiatrists is what should be funded, because the best of doctors don’t accept Insurance. A person who needs medication, and doesn’t get it in time, no amount of therapy will help.

Rabbosai, let us join Shalom in opening his organization TODAY. I have been trying to help a relative for 1.5 years now and this is the printout of the MAJORITY – though not all OF THE CASES IVE OBSERVED: 1. It is impossible EVEN IN CASES OF SERIOUS URGENCY to get through to the patients therapists or organization. 2. because the ratio of patient to provider VIRTUALLY GUARANTEES that no patient is really that important, and all kinds of boundaries have to be kept – and there are many others on the waiting list. 3. The charges are astronomical. 4. In many cases, the client/patient is told by the provider that the parents/family is at fault, and then blamed for everything before, during and after. This also ensures the child will keep coming back $$$ (all parents of suffering kids know exactly what I am talking about). 4. Parents/families suffer for months, but few people will actually do something for these suffering yidden (as mentioned accurately above by the fellow suffering and asking people to DO SOMETHING!) 5. because pain distances other people and even family, instead of bringing them closer. 6. There are too many people who ask probing details and form accusing opinions even as they help – which leaves the parents/kids/siblings hurting terribly even while receiving whatever little help is offered. 7. There are those that still think that only certain “types” of families suffer, until they find that they were included in this self-inflicted category. 8. Most providers do not want Rabbinic oversight, aka accountability. This would save so many families from being torn apart by inexperienced providers, as well as require that they become more proficient. 9. IN CLOSING: This may surprise you after reading the above – but all yidden do care, and feel bad. Everything is not happening from a lack of emphathy or not caring rather from A LACK OF TIME to register the enormity and depth of what this feels like. If people would have more time to put themselves into someone else’s shoes they wouldn’t eat sleep or do anything else until this was solved. And so, RABBOSAI, IF I MAY SUGGEST A MESSAGE FOR THIS TRAGEDY, IT IS THIS: DONT JUST WALK AWAY CLUCKING YOUR TONGUE A FEW TIMES. ACCEPT ON YOURSELF TO STOP AND THINK ABOUT THE SUFFERING NEIGHBOR OR FRIEND THAT YOU HAVE, AND DO SOMETHING REAL AND CONSTANT FOR THEM. AND THERE IS NOTHING MORE REAL THAN CREATING CENTERS OF TREATMENT WHERE CONSTANT, AVAILABLE, ACCOUNTABLE, AND RESULT-CHIEVING CARE IS PROVIDED. If you are a person of means and are reading this – then in the name of these two innocent children, dedicate your finances to this goal TODAY. Don’t wait until it fades away like another piece of news. Stand up – Hashem is waiting and watching, and what greater instant ticket to Gan Eden than saving a generation from the mental Holocaust going on all around us.

Is there levaya information yet?

Maybe there should be a hotline for people in the community to call.
As horrible as it was/is for the family who this tragedy happen to, it probably affected the ems, cops to showed up and saw everything, people don’t think of the first responders, Evan if it not 911 ems of you do ems you see allot that can hold allot of Wait on someone. Just food for thought

Very disturbing that the important lesson is being covered over with platitudes. She was obviously not doing well, she was obviously in need of close supervision and should never have been left alone with 2 babies. Some relative puts out a letter saying how perfectly great she was – that is not true, and not even helpful. The only way to prevent this is to supervise and monitor people with mental illness while they are with children. A person with psychosis or schizophrenia or severe depression – even if they are medicated- should never be left alone with babies. Besides what happened here, the person can do other things. That’s very important for people to know.

This is an extreme tragedy. I’m not a mental health professional and do not know the situation of this poor family. However, I think we also have to be careful because “doing something” or “saying something” has to be done with seichel, sensitivity, and daas Torah. Great damage can be inflicted by people who are well-meaning (or not) by inserting themselves into a delicate situation incorrectly. And we aren’t supposed to embarrass people. It’s a tightrope. But we can all try open our hearts more to be have rachmanus and try to understand another’s difficulty.

Firstly, I want to extend my sincere condolences to the family of this unspeakable tragedy 😢. Although I along with all outsiders can never know the details of what precipitated this woman’s psychotic episode (nor is it any of our business), even with excellent care & meds this flare can happen.

Fortunately it’s rarely at this level of severity. But flare-ups DO happen and especially with this kind of diagnosis the quality of care & experience of the providers is critical. I’m not trying to belittle anyone, but I know from professional & personal connections that the average therapist is not equipped to properly handle such serious conditions. At the very least, since meds are necessary, the patient must be diagnosed & constantly
reevaluated by a psychiatrist experienced with psychotropic meds. This is a super-specialty. It doesn’t come cheap. The charge can be $500+ per session. Doctors like that don’t take insurance!

Chemed or LCSC or any other well-meaning organizations do not offer anywhere near this level of care. Their therapists on staff (usually social workers) haven’t been trained to deal with major psychiatric illnesses, even for the therapy portion. Anyone on psychiatric meds must be monitored on an ongoing basis by their MD psychiatrist (who may need to tweak dosage, etc), in addition to any “talk” therapy they may need.

It is regrettable that Rabbonim & askanim haven’t stepped up to the plate to adequately provide help to those who desperately need it. Yes, in recent years there have been attempts to dispel the stigma of seeking mental health treatment. But that doesn’t address mental ILLNESS. This may not be so common, but it’s complications can affect whole families and communities.

Kudos to the commenter who wants to start a new initiative in this area. I’m happy to join & appreciate if TLS can connect us.

Wishing the affected family and friends nechama and healing.

As I read through the comments, it’s clear to me that many People are conflating mental health issues like depression and anxiety with psychological disorders such as bipolar and schizophrenia. Based on the horrific events and the relatives post, she has the latter and the “extended” family knew about it.

Unfortunately, as the saying goes “marriage isn’t a hospital” and we should talk about why we push unhealthy people into marriage and if they get married, why are they having kids. It’s okay for marriage to be about companionship.

There is a underutilized government sponsored program for family of those who suffer from severe mental health illness ר”ל

It is called IFSS (Intensive Family Support Services) in Ocean County, NJ one can reach them at (732) 606-9573 ext. 7012

If anyone has other resources to share, please do!

Competent is not a one-size-fits-all term. I have a family member suffering from mental illness. We’ve tried over 8 therapists, many who said the child is more than they feel comfortable treating. Several psychiatrists over the years and easily a dozen medications, and B’H we have some signs of stability. I’m not sure chemed can meet those needs.

Seems like people don’t know the difference between bipolar schizophrenia spectrum borderline personality disorder and regular typical mental illness using someone that was getting help as a agenda that people should get help is pathetic There is a reason the success in suicide attempts among bipolar schizophrenia people is much higher yes manic people enjoy the high (even if a bipolar person only spends approximately 1% of their life in a manic state)and schizophrenia doesn’t have the greatest medications even people on lithium or other mood stabilizers have attempted suicide and bipolar and schizophrenia have a higher chance of using lethal force FYI reb Aron lopiansky has a article in time pieces on the Andrea Yates killing

While on the topic, there is a great book out there for Rabbonim to recognize when to refer people for therapy. It’s called A Practical Guide to Rabbinic Counseling.
May our Av Rachman send the family a Nechama.

Maybe there isn’t a comprehensive organization like Chai Lifeline, Bonei Olam ect to help people and their families with mental illness, because if there was, they would be bombarded with requests from so many people because there is such an overwhelming need for such help in our community.. Almost every family can use at least financial help to pay for therapy for at least one or more family members that are in need of it.. This is aside for the major cases.. It would take a huge undertaking to make an organization like chai lifeline or Bonei Olam for mental illness but it is literally Pikuach Nefashos!!There is a wonderful organization called Kanfei Faiga that helps families when someone in the family or themselves are struggling with mental illness. As far as I know, they are not able to help with financial assistance for psychiatrists and therapy. There is Keren Ezer Lnefesh that help with therapy for teenagers. As far as I am aware of there are no such organisations for financial assistance for adults and there is a huge need for this!! May we be zoche to have one day an address to go to when in need, for true, full and comprehensive mental health support and May it be Bkarov!!!

The traditional forms of therapy we’ve used might not always be effective because many people dealing with mental health issues are grappling with trauma, either their own or inherited from their parents or grandparents. Hitler’s impact wasn’t just physical but emotional, affecting generations. Our parents were focused on rebuilding after the Holocaust and didn’t have time to process their trauma. Now, our generation faces anxiety, depression, and inherited trauma. It’s time to explore new techniques, especially those that have shown significant results for trauma. Therapies that criticize our parents or use CBT when trauma is present aren’t enough. We need therapies that connect us to our inner child and address the suffering within us. There are many aspects to consider, and I’m ready to support anyone interested in opening a center to help. Please reach out if you’d like to collaborate. I believe this is a mission from Hashem, and we need to establish centers with top doctors, leading psychiatrists, and highly trained therapists to help everyone in need.

I am in college to get my masters degree to become a marriage and family therapist. We are learning a lot about psychopharmacology and the DSM-5TR. Anyone in my program will be equipped to deal with serious mental illnesses.

How meny of you are going to cry by חצות הלילה
How meny of you are going to stop this שינת חינם
How meny of you are going to learn torah leshaimshmaim for am yisreal not your stupid kovoed or unworthy שכר
How meny shuls are going to start making mishaberachs for are soldiers
For are kidnap
90 percent of am yisreal is not eruv rav maybe one percent
How meny of you are going to be דן לכף זכות for am yisreal
I could go on but there no confusion in shamayim only here
Sit down and do tikkun chatoz and you do tesuvah not only evrey one else
Whats happening and whats going to happen is in your hands
No the torah protects when its לשם כל עמו ישראל
Please dont take this personal but i hope a big ruv tells the truth and helps the community wake up

“A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.”

Attention everybody in the world: Are any of you therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, life coaches, trained Rabbinical advisors, Shalom Bayis counselors, or Teen guidance experts? Are you willing to form and join Community Centers where you will be paid by insurance for the MOST part, but sit all day like a regular Doctor seeing even those who have none? Are you able to cut to the chase and process the cases at an efficient and effective pace? Are you willing to be available at least via text or email even during off hours when told it’s extremely urgent? If yes, then PLEASE GROUP MESSAGE EACH OTHER AND SAVE KLAL YISROEL!!!!!!!!!! You have the tools in your hands. The blood of these two children is crying out begging for a REAL response (not fake askanus or a platform to garner more clientele). Please do something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Before more crazy stories happen Hashem yeracheim!!!

Though I don’t know details of the case I’m wondering if the medicine itself can cause these episodes and if the person on these medications can be left alone until stabilized on dosage and medication. In addition regular physicians have taken over prescribing psychiatric drugs and may not have the knowledge that psychiatrists do.
Also although not related to this case doctors in this area should be aware of the neurological symptoms of Lyme disease. It can mimic mental illness especially if the symptoms come on all of a sudden. Most people don’t remember being bitten.

We don’t know what may have gone through her mind. She may have thought that she heard voices or thinking it was a prophecy telling her to bring her children for a korban. No one will ever know. If you anything about mental illness, then you know that she had absolutely no bechirah/ free choice at all. We are not blaming anyone. It just is very sad. People have to be more educated what this sickness is. Yes, people do need encouragement to go for help. Now is the time to hug your children and tell them that they’re safe. Mommy’s love their children, and we’ll always be there for you!

When a family member does something, either purposefully or through mental illness, it causes negative consequences of embarrassment for the remaining family members. May the family support each other and find love, support, and compassion from others. Please don’t hide yourself in embarrassment – two children, r”l, died, but you must live . May your community give you the support you need.

I’m so sorry for what happened! But look what kind of people live there who aren’t supervised and so fourth

Lakewood Scoop: Why are you deleting my comment??
The most important preventive measure here for people to learn from is that a person with a Psychosis or Schizophrenia diagnosis should never be alone with children. There should always be a family member or friend or a hired caretaker in the house with them. This is the most Important preventive measure to protect the children and to also protect the person with the mental illness. These extreme incidences, and less severe incidences, only happen when they are alone. Even if the person is being treated by a psychiatrist it is important to never leave them alone with children.

I am an Ex LKWDER living in Eretz Yisrael.

Here in EY we have an amazing organization called Avnei Chein that does mental health crisis management. When someone reaches out, they get a case manager (an LCSW) who walks them thru getting access to all the resources available.

When a family member in Lakewood was struggling with severe mental health issues, I tried to find such a organization.
It does not exist. There are askanim, rabbanim and referal agencies who help with various aspects of the crisis.

But there was no one to hold the hand of the spouse in this case, and step by step guide them.
Because I work in the field here in EY I did the best I could, but it was nothing like what Avnei Chein provides here, and it is a huge strain and weight on the spouse of the suffering person who needs to carry the entire burden alone.

There already is a successful model – I hope someone in Lakewood picks up the baton and implements it.

As someone who has trained under Dr James Greenblatt, I urge people to go to his website for free webinars to understand that so much mental health has a biochemical reason.
In short, the body is not a car where the engine is not affected by the wheel. The brain is connected to the whole body and when the body is off, the brain will be as well (outside of trauma etc).
For example, LOW cholesterol can lead to suicide! Look it up!!
This is not to mention different environmental exposures such as mold and lyme which I have seen first hand affect a person psychologically.
So much to discuss about all this…..

To start, I want to acknowledge the deep pain that many are experiencing from what happened, and H-ashem should send everyone healing, hope, and strength.

I am the founder and president of the non-profit organization Jewish American Nurse Practitioner Psychiatric Association -JANPPA. JANPPA has two missions: to provide education and networking to Psychiatric Nurse Practitioners and to provide culturally sensitive mental health education to the Jewish Orthodox communities.

JANPPA would love to come to your community, in-person or virtually, and discuss important mental health topics.

JANPPA is here for the community and we would love to help with other programs as well.

Please visit janppa.org

https://www.janppa.org/community to fill out a form for JANPPA to come to your community.

Please reach out with questions, concerns, or ideas at [email protected].

Looking forward to stepping up for the community!

It’s very important for those who wish to be supportive of individuals in crisis or trauma to practice true empathy. This entails understanding of how the subject individual is experiencing their crisis or trauma. Often, well meaning people offer support based on their perception of how one should react to the specific crisis or trauma. So doing, can exasperate the situation causing more damage than good. To offer support put your perception aside and truly allow for the subject individual to express themselves.

I think we are being tested on how we react and comment on this tragedy. The only way to approach it is with tears and tefilos for the family and the community. We are suppose to emulate the way of HKBH. Ma hu rachum….
Let us daven and implore HKBH that this should never happen in our midst and let’s try not to be judgemental and more accepting wherever we are.
When tragedy strikes let’s not take out the old soap box and start ranting.

Psychosis may have a stigma because it’s misunderstood and mishandled. Medicine split psychiatry and medical health and that was the first mistake. When there is a glitch in brain health causing blindness it’s addressed with scans and corrected and worked with. Not necessarily fixed but managed as best as possible with continued efforts to find the root cause and heal restore it to functioning. When there is a glitch in brain health resulting in new behaviors or changes in mood stability (not emotional) we have tossed it out as psychiatry and avoided looking for a root cause… We all know about post partum changes in brain health that happen with childbirth and the hormonal changes that go with it. We all know about psychosis associated with urinary tract infection in the elderly..and B12 deficiency causing dementia like symptoms…it’s time we wake up and search for root cause in brain health. We are grossly behind in treating sudden onset of neuropsychiatric changes. Removing the stigma makes it even harder to encourage people to dig deeper. Bacteria or virus, nutritional deficiency, exposure to mold and toxins and environmental sensitivities can all cause sudden onset of nueropsych behaviors that have nothing to do with mood, jealousy, high living standards and perfectioni. We need to realize it’s a regular medical issue that needs to be addressed.

The problems I see are – First of all – Mental Illness is very misunderstood. People don’t understand the Differences between MSW’s, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists. A lot of patients need a combination of most of the latter. Second – in Frum community it’s still stigmatized more than the rest of the world.
We all should learn from this tragedy – and Not continue as we are perfect and there is nothing to change (like we have seen from what’s been posted here on LS – including articles here)!

No words…May your family know no more tzaar.

I read everyone’s comments…it’s not about organizations or pouring money into a “solution” . It is about just simply caring about another jew and not judging everyone… …being open and available and UNSELFISH and not worried ab someones opinion of you but only about Hshem’s opinion of you…Who are you to judge? This can happen to anyone!

Hashaem should bless you and your family with strength to heal. Just know the whole Klal Yisrael sends love ❤❤

Could everyone please stop cushioning the evil horrible horrendous thing that this woman did! There are no excuses for committing such an evil disgusting act. And pushing this poor sweet lady agenda will create copycats with people on the spectrum. I see too many people empathizing with her. Enough!

Everyone commenting has diagnosed this women with psychosis. Is this a fact was she seen by a medical professional. While it’s suggested she see her rabbi is he a medical physician? If indeed she had mental issues she has certainly fallen through the cracks and her children paid the ultimate price. Tragically sad for those involved. May the children rest in peace.

I certainly don’t understand all the hateful comments I don’t personally know this woman however, she didn’t go out to murder her children. clearly, she is not well putting it mildly. Family member that posted letter said that in the past year or so she was doing better but that she had battled with mental illness. No one is to blame but clearly she was a lot sicker and a lot worse off than they realized. This is not like saying I caught a guy off on the road and then I had an accident and I feel bad about it. Clearly, she was in a very dark place and didn’t even understand what she was doing. because the fact of it is afterwards , she managed to call 911 services.rather Hatzalah. Unfortunately it was too late. And this is what happened. This Should be a forum for people who want to wish condolences in addition to help other people who actually suffer from mental disease and mental deficits. Not all these horrible nasty comments that are going back-and-forth. like, suggesting a ZIP Code, or other commentary, that this is why this happened it can happen in any state and country.

It’s time for Chai Lifeline to start a branch for families affected by mental health disease. The children need the extra help when the parent is unwell. Families need suppers when mothers cannot cook or clean. Families suffer in silence while they are pressured to show up at work and perform well in schools. Hamaspik should open up a branch in Lakewood to give services to qualifying families.

To The family of this women
I am truly sorry for your family’s loss my heart breaks for all.

Lakewood really needs an organization like Avnie Chain and that organization should also take profesional care of the mentally ill. Waiting for this organization to start now that we see how much it’s needed!

Part of the problem is that one who has mental illness is often judged by society and shunned by society , which then exasperates the feeling of loneliness which then cause more mental illness and on and on………

We are too small to understand Hashem’s ways. I recently suffered a very deep personal tragedy and the pain is just so raw, so searing, so overpowering. my heart bleeds so terribly for the Mishpacha, Hashem WILL give you strength to move on, although it will take time.
as far as the children – they’re in the oilam haemes looking down and smiling, seeing the True Purpose of all these events – our job in this world of hester is just too be mischazek in the knowledge that there is a Grand Scheme for everything, way beyond our minute comprehension, and all Hashem does is for the good.

I am a frum psych prescriber with over ten years of experience. I think the comments here are representative of the many facets and difficulties associated with getting appropriate mental health treatment. In most cases, people with psychosis do not have the insight to obtain care for themselves. Our legal system is set up in a way that makes it extremely difficult to legally require someone to be on medication, unless there is a documented history of risk. Furthermore, the only reliable medications in these cases are usually long acting injectables. The ones with less side effects are thousands of dollars and it is not always easy to find someone to administer them.
As far as mental health availability goes, the frum community has shown up to meet the demand. More frum people are being trained as mental health providers than ever before. Training and competency do vary widely. In my experience, it is not the lack of available frum mental health professionals, it is the lack of boundaries, sense of entitlement and absence of support for the professionals themselves that leads to burnout. We have emotional needs, families and expenses too. This is what leads clinicians to leave affordable care and venture out on their own.
As far as this situation goes, when there is an inkling of psychosis or bizarre behavior, send your loved one to the ER if they won’t see someone or are not improving with the care they have, and allow a trained professional to further assess and make recommendations.

My sincerest thoughts and prayers for the family. May you receive nechama by the master comforter Himself. Only He knows the true pain, trials, needs, strengths and inner workings of each member of the family. May all those suffering from devastating brain illness also find healing and recover.

As a parent and psychologist, I would like to share some hope here with those suffering from brain illness. From our experience, the key to true recovery and healing is looking for the underlying root in the body. After all, psychiatric illness means the brain and body are ill. While therapy and medication can be important to manage symptoms, we must find and heal the root, whether it’s infection, autoimmune or nutrition related to achieve complete recovery.

*Please know, although it’s not yet a popular thought, full healing can happen and should be the ultimate goal.* As a community we must recognize that we are all affected by others’ pain. May Hashem guide us to the knowledge we need to authentically support others in the ways they need. May all illness, regardless of its location in the body, be healed.

I know I’m one of many comments and I have a lot to say being in this parsha. To keep it short many many therapist in this town are licensed and unqualified, I heard this from a respected psychologist and I’ve also seen this from personal experience. When looking for help also look for a therapist who’s been on their own journey you will get deeper and heal quicker. Healing is less in the mind, more in emotions and body. Also shame holds us back tremendously if you can join a support group you will be able to join others and break that shame and stigma and find people with no judgement, authenticity and and a beautiful community. Coach Menachem has been working on support groups reach out to him if your interested
May HaShem bring the geulah very soon

If a person has mental illness they have to take their medication so as not to relapse. This person although not her fault that she has this serious mental illness is at fault for not being responsible. If a person doesn’t take their medication they should not be around children. So yes we should be advocating for mental illness. We should also be advocating for those with diagnosed mental illness to listen to their Doctor and therapist. Instead of bashing the cost of therapy we should focus on patients not listening to them. They went through years of schooling and know what they are talking about.
I am really sorry for the innocent relatives of this woman.

#Raizy, Please don’t listen to any reliable sources. If you didn’t hear it from the parents them self, then don’t believe it.

Is there Shiva information available?

If anyone needs a Mother’s helper, so you can take a breath or fresh air and a real breather, I’d love to help you out. It takes a village these days no matter what your religion is. At the end of the day we all bleed the same. My heart breaks for the children, the mother who needed more intense therapy with limited resources. Confined in a friend, a doctor, so many resources do not feel ashamed and no one should ever shame some one for wanting or needing help and care.

Medications are not always the cure or answer some times it’s a mask that can fall off at anytime

Mental health the last four years nationally is at an all time high.

My prayers are with your family and friends. Mental health issues need to be addressed immediately. When I was a infant my mother poisoned me with a common household chemical. I was found unresponsive and rushed to the hospital. I was read my last rights and was not expected to survive. When I was in the hospital my mother committed s_&-+de. Till this day nobody knows why she chose to do what she did. As I got older I had issues connecting with others. Even family. I wanted to get help but didn’t know how to explain my illness. I was at the end of my rope. Until I received a blessing from above. A female friend of mine forced me to get serious help. She stayed by my side for over 2 years, and I began to feel better inside. It was her kindness and affection that solved my issues. This was what I was missing my entire life. My point is that if you know someone who needs help with mental health issues find out what they are missing in life. Make them smile and appreciate life. It only takes 1 person to make a difference and I will be forever grateful for her companionship. Unfortunately she passed away several years ago but I know she is watching over me and is a guardian angel. Mental illness can be healed with prescribed medication and therapy but the most important thing I can say is if you know someone who needs help do not leave them alone. Show them how important they are and remind them that they are loved by many.

Everyone stop taking about organizations therapists and money. It’s not about that. Meds are not expensive. Clearly she was off of them… a compliant patient is a healthy one. No matter what the mental illness had ahw been on her meds this wouldn’t have happened. Organizations and fundraising wouldn’t change a thing