My brother died when I was ten. He had cancer, and I could not prevent him from dying.
You, on the other hand, can prevent your kid from dying by doing one simple step.
But before I tell you what that step is, let me rewind a bit.
I’m talking about something really easy, really simple, and really lifesaving.
It’s called SEATBELTS.
You’re probably thinking something along the lines of “What are you talking about?” or “But this doesn’t even apply to me!” or “Why in the world should I listen to you?”
Well, the main reason is because I see so many parents whose kids are not seat belted.
Adults are adults, and I cannot ask adults to do anything. Scientifically speaking, the frontal cortex, the part of the brain that does rational decision making, is not fully developed until the age of 25.
I’m smart enough to know that I cannot stop people from texting and driving or talking on the phone. I do it myself, and I’d be a hypocrite for telling people to stop.
But adults can (usually) deal with the consequences of their actions.
Why should a child, how can a child pay, often with their life, because of a reckless, irresponsible parent?
This may seem exaggerated. This may seem extreme.
But I’ve heard about one too many fatal car crashes that could have been prevented with a simple click of the seatbelt.
In fact, in 2023, a National Highway Traffic Safety Administration study using fatal crash data, researchers found that 30% of 0–3-year-olds killed in crashes were not buckled up and 36% of 8–12-year-olds killed in crashes were not buckled up.
I know my limits and what my goals are.
My point is to make sure that YOUR CHILD, your flesh and blood, your descendant, should be safe and seatbelted.
Besides the fact that it could literally save their lives, it also teaches them to be responsible.
Looking at it from a spiritual perspective, we all must do our hishtadlus. The same way we work for Parnassa and daven for a shidduchim, so too we wear a seatbelt.
Not wearing one is basically saying that you run the world, and are confident that you are in charge.
But no. Hashem is in charge. And if you want Him to take care of you, well, you gotta take care of yourself first.
My father and I were driving on the highway. There was a car in the left lane with a lady driving and a toddler on her lap.
A mother. Driving. With a kid on her lap. In the driver’s seat. On the highway.
I don’t know what was going on or perhaps her kid might have been crying for hours. But I do know that one sharp turn of the steering wheel from her clambering baby could put an end to both their lives, and possibly others’ too.
Another story that I saw happened in Lakewood. A father had a bunch of kids standing up as he drove. Granted, it was only 30 miles per hour, but it was still a moving vehicle. All it took was one jaywalker or one careless biker for the father to make a short stop to have one of his kids fly through the windshield, gone forever.
Today, actually, I was in Lakewood driving on a 45-mph street. At first, I didn’t believe what I saw, but then I looked again and saw that there was a girl, maybe 5 or 6 years old, leaning into the front seat from the middle row, totally unbuckled.
What is wrong with these parents? Don’t they know the dangers? Why would they put the lives of their kids in the slippery hands of Fate, teasing, tempting Death? And what are they teaching their kids? That they don’t care enough about their kids to prevent injury and/or death?
I mean, it’s a law, for crying out loud. If nothing else, blame it on the government, goodness knows there’s plenty of that to go around.
For a few extra seconds, a parent can save their kid’s life and years of crushing guilt that could have been prevented with a SINGLE SEATBELT.
This is not me rambling. This is not me pointing accusing fingers at people.
This is me crying out to parents to TAKE CARE OF THEIR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD.
Think of it this way – a child gets an expensive present for his birthday. Like so many other ones, the kid misuses it one too many times, and the parent decides to take the toy away.
Do you want Hashem to take away your child because you couldn’t take care of it properly?
This may seem extreme to some, who might be naive like me to assume that everyone wears seatbelts.
I hate to break it to you, but not everyone does. And not everyone survives.
Am I being intense? Maybe.
Am I coming off very strongly? For sure.
Am I trying to save lives? YES!!
Don’t wait for something tragic to happen for you to realize that you should have worn a seatbelt.
Seatbelts save lives.
I could not save my brother from cancer. I could not prevent his death, and yet I had such survivor’s guilt.
How much more so a death that could have been prevented by a piece of material strapped across your child’s chest and waist. And it takes seconds to put on.
Be smart. Be safe. Be seat belted.
If you truly loved your child, you would make sure they would be seatbelted.
TLS welcomes your letters by submitting them to [email protected]
I don’t want to come across that I’m against wearing seatbelts but your message would be more well received without the hysterical and judgemental tone.
Wishing everyone a safe and gut gebentched year!
Actually prob not gonna help because kids have more control than parents. “Seat belt is annoying, uncomfortable” “we can’t see out the window” “need to see screen” ….
Thank you for posting! May this bring the appropriate awareness and may we all be safe. Well written
It’s written in Dvarim (Deuteronomy) 4:15 ” “ונשמרתם מאד לנפשתיכם
And you shall guard your life very carefully.
It doesn’t just say carefully but VERY carefully, so not only is one going against common sense by not wearing a seatbelt or not having their kids wear one, but they are also violating a מצוות עשה דאורייתא (violating a positive biblical commandment).
It’s written in the Mesilat Yesharim 10:5 even if one is a Tzadik (righteous person) and is doing a mitzvah, even then one must guard the safety of their lives very carefully and not rely on divine intervention alone.
Not argueing with your very valid point, just curious who explains the posuk of V’nishmartem to mean physical safety…? Rashi on that posuk explains it to mean ‘watch over your nefesh, to avoid avoda zara’…
There is no monei mitzvah that counts venishmartem as a mitzvah to guard your life. It is taken completely out of context.
How about quote the actual mitzvah: vchai bahem.
This is a very important issue that hopefully will become second nature in Lakewood.
One issue with your letter.
“This is not me rambling.”
Then you proceed to write the exact same message over & over & over.
That’s called “Rambling”
Re: the child on the parents lap on the highway, my brother once got out of the buckled car seat and climbed into the front seat while we were driving on the highway. Who says the child didn’t climb there from a properly buckled seat and the mom is about to pull over? And my parents always buckled us. I’d say not to judge these parents. All parents are concerned about their children.
Based in the data you referenced, it comes out that, 70% of 0-3 year olds killed in crashes were buckled up and 64% of 8-12 year olds killed in crashes were buckled up.
Even worse: Parents giving their children sugar disguised as snacks, or food, or drinks. Even worse than that: Parents giving their children screentime
@Berel
That’s not the point of this letter. You wanted him to discuss every problem..?
Finally a person speaking the truth and lifesaving advise and you get all these ridiculous petty comments taking apart his lifesaving advise like a Gemara
Take the message all you reckless patents and do what’s right and the minimal expected from you as a parent!
Leaving your child in a car without a seatbelt is the equivalent of giving him/her a loaded gun and hope it’s not fatal!
IT SAVES LIVES NO COMMENTARY NECESSARY !!
No it isn’t comparable at all, stop being so dramatic.
Please do not forget about car seats!
Until 2 years old (or 30 lbs) a child must be in a rear-facing car seat with a 5 point harness.
From 2-4 years (or 30-40 lbs) a child must be in a forward-facing car seat with a 5 point harness.
Booster seats are mandatory until a child reaches 8 years old (or 4’9″).
You have a valid point about seatbelts, but you are inconsistent about keeping the mitzva of ונשמרתם.
You admit to talking on the phone or texting while driving. Are you willing to risk being a רוצח – killing yourself, you spouse and children in the car with you as well as other adults and kids in other cars that you might crash into because you’re distracted?! Seat belts help reduce the risk, but there are also plenty of seat-belted people who die in car accidents.
You are to be commended for trying to encourage parents to insist on their children being belted in, but if you text or talk on the phone while driving, I don’t want to be anywhere near you on the road…
Very well written , I see way to many times in Lakewood situations where drivers do not have children properly buckled in , as far as texting or talking on the phone you are now not only putting your safety at risk but also anyone else in the vehicle with you , life is fragile and it only takes a split second for things to go wrong
Also – stay away from experimental vaccines. And avoid driving in Lakewood.