על אלה אני בוכיה עיני עיני ירדה מים on the great tragedy of a young girl who was heartbreakingly taken from us so abruptly.
The Gemora in the end of Maseches Sota tells us about a body that is found lying on the ground and it is not known who the murderer was. As the Torah says “Lo Noda Me Hikahoo” the Halacha requires for the Sanhedrin (not the local Bais Din, but the Sanhedrin of all of Kllal Yisrael) to go out and measure and see which is the closest town to where the corpse was found, so that the Bais Din can go out and say “Yadeinu Lo Shafchu Es Hadam Hazeh” we have not done anything that may have caused this innocent blood to be spilled.
The reason to measure, is in order to figure out exactly which city is the closest to the tragedy, as they would be the one to take responsibility.
The Gemora says that even in a case where there is no room for doubt, there is only one city or one town nearby, and there is nothing else around for miles, the closest town is quite obvious, even so the Sanhedrin must go out and measure.
The question is what would be the explanation? Why would the Sanhedrin need to measure if the information is already there?
The Gemora answers “Mitzva Lihitasek Bemidida” there is a Mitzva to occupy themselves with measuring. However this still needs explanation what would be the purpose in this measuring. We may say that the Gemora is teaching us that if innocent blood was spilled, we must not ignore it, and even if things are obvious we still must occupy ourselves with measuring, weighing, figuring and thinking, what can we do better as a people, as one family, as a Am Hanivchar, that such a tragedy should be avoided, that such a terrible decree doesn’t chalila befall our people.
THERE IS AN EMPTY SEAT IN THE CLASSROOM, what would we do to fill it? What wouldn’t we look away from, so that dear Shevy can fill that seat once again? Would her family background make a difference now? Would the color of her skirt or the length of her hair make a difference? No absolutely not, she is a pure Yiddish Neshma that we lost.
No I didn’t know her nor do I know which school she attended, and I B”H don’t have any kids out of school (besides those that already graduated B’H) and neither do most of the people that were shaken to the core when they heard the terrible news. Any one of us would do anything in our power to bring her back, to sit her back in her seat in class.
So my question to all of you in the position of accepting, with the empty desk DO WE HAVE ROOM NOW? To all the parents who complain about the school accepting someone who is a bit different than themselves. Can we accept another girl that has been out of school since the beginning of the year? Another Yiddish Neshama bleeding to death, an emotional death by not being in school. Can we really say “Yadeinu Lo Shafchu Es Hadam Hazeh?
The Gemora above states that an Eglah Arufa can have blemishes different than any other sacrifice, not only those that go on the Mizbayach. For example, a Para Aduma needs to be Temima, but an Eglah Arufa doesn’t, maybe it’s to teach us something. Let’s look away at the blemishes of others. Let’s just see the good in all our brothers and sisters, after all, each one is a Chelek Eloaki Mimaal.
And by doing so, by looking after every Yiddish Neshama, making sure every girl is in school every boy is in cheder or yeshiva, we will be zoche not to need to bring an Eglah Arufa again, we will say “we got the message”, we don’t see mums and blemishes, in another Yid.
Shenireh Kol Echad Maalas Chaveireinu Vi’lo Chesronam. The Bais Hamikdash was destroyed because of Sinas Chinam, Let us correct that by having Ahavas Chinam especially in this time of Sefira which we know about the Talmidim of Rebbe Akiva, was because of “Shelo Nuhagu Kavod Zeh Bazeh”
And may we be zoche to see shevy again back in class bibeeyas goiel tzedek bimhaira Biyameinu Amein. And then we will be once again Omdim Tzifufim Umishtachavim Revachim with room for every Yid.
Name withheld
TLS welcomes your letters by submitting them to letters@thelakewoodscoop.com
The tragedy of your letter is obviously the loss of this precious child.
The added tragedy of this letter is that the very few people in this community with the power to actually do anything will not budge.
Those few people are NOT our Rabbonim, askanim or current faculty, staff or parents of any school. Its not the principals either. Those few people are just owners of the schools. In EVERY school in this town, no matter what those few owners may tell you, it is ALL in their hands and their hands only.
Sadly, and perhaps embarrassingly, it is only money that can move them.
I strongly disagree. I’ve been personally involved in helping a dew girls getting in ane it was clearly the principals refusing. Owners are scared of their principals.
Not saying sometimes it is owners with $…
But in my experience it was principals
I don’t think you are truly familiar with the topic you are addressing, I certainly have no clue what you are talking about.
For the most part, every school in lakewood (with a few exceptions) is way above capacity with some schools only limiting class size by the amount of desks that physically fit in the classroom.
yessssss.
Its us as a community that should wake up, and realize there is a huge problem with our achdus, and our acceptance, as neighbors and as friends, the schools are only trying to cater to the parents.
Imho this letter is confusing. Can you make the point w/o the drama and Gemara etc in about 3 paragraphs?
Thanks
Very powerful, well written and so true! Kohl hakavod. Let’s just hope the words t people who need to be reading this actually read it and internalize it.
This letter masquerades as tzidkus, yet is just sowing dissention. While I agree wholeheartedly with the problem, why are the people who already opened schools and are making place for hundreds of girls continually scapegoated for the few that are not placed? It is counterintuitive to blame these people. They are the ones taking care of the issue. They took care of a significant part. Let someone else jump in. There are many people in Lakewood who made enough money to live in luxury for the rest of their lives. Why don’t they open schools? (The partial answer to that question is that they see how owners of schools are attacked and want no part of it. So, is the writer of the above letter and similar ones helping the issue or hurting the issue?!)
I agree to Ed. i think you could have driven the point home without bringing up the Gemara.
Everyone is reading the letter as if it was only addressed to the school owners etc but it’s also addressed to us everyone who snorts and complains when a certain type of kid is accepted into the school. We are at least in part at fault for the schools not accepting.
Some people will always find the rush hamosdos as the easy scapegoat. It doesn’t matter that they spent their life savings on making a school , it doesn’t matter that they have 40 girls in a class that fits only 30 , it doesn’t matter that there are other schools that have small classes and are willing to accept more students. No it’s always the Rosh Hamosad who is at fault. And then you wonder why there are not enough people who want to make more schools.
True.
So many people convince themselves that Klal Yisrael owes them to be able send to the school of their choice with no limitation.
At one point in time I considered opening a school, until I realized that not only will I need to run around and embarrass myself to raise funds, I would also need to deal with employees telling me that I don’t know what I am doing, but I would also have a bunch of entitled people blaming (and harassing my children. Yes that is something that happens) me for the fact that they couldn’t get into the single school they insist on sending to.
All the parents who don’t want ” a little more modern girl” in their child’s class are definitely contributing to the problem of children not being accepted.Many of the grandmothers of children in Lakewood went to Bais Yaakovs that allowed girls from non-religious families to attend.The religious level of my peers ranged from your Posak’s sister or mother, to Chasidish girls, to girls who married Kollel boys, to girls who went to goyishe colleges, to girls who remained irreligious like their families. But we all learned Torah and we were all friends. No girl ruined the ruchnius of another girl. When Mashiach comes today or tomorrow we are all going to Eretz Yisrael together as one nation with all different types Jews.
To Sara
Most parents have no problem with a girl coming from an obviously less religious background, because their daughter understands that she is different. Today’s problems are girls coming from families in kollel or looking Ike the rest of your neighbors, but with lower standards of dress etc. Your daughter looks at her like a regular family so why not imitate their standards. We didn’t have these issues 40 years ago .
I’m waiting for a letter praising the roster mosdos for all they do in terms of money, time, loss of sleep, sweat etc. No wonder there’s no one opening new schools where they’re so badly needed!
B”H we still have Neviim amongst us today sending in anonymous letters to TLK explaining why tragedies happen. The classes are bursting at the seams, there are no empty seats. The Rebeim & teacher’s can barely reach the students because the classes are so full. We need to deal with the shortage of schools as a community, not by blaming & pointing fingers. Please don’t use a tragedy as a way to cast blame on other’s.
THERE IS ONE, AND ONE SOLUTION ONLY. WE MUST STOP THIS BUSINESS OF “OWNING” SCHOOLS. THERE IS NO MEKOR IN HALACHA FOR IT, AND IT’S MORALLY WRONG. THEY TAKE TZEDAKA MONEY, AND DO WHAT THEY WANT. I WAS PERSONALLY INVOLVED IN MOSDOS. IT IS ONE BIG (Moderated) ONCE TOLD ME “IF YOU THINK THEY LISTEN TO ME YOUR MISTAKEN”.
I believe the writer of this letter has his heart in the right place and may even be a talmid chochom. With that being said all this letter did was misconstrue a gemara with no real relavance to the topic at hand to the writers own personal opinion as the writer did did not provide any mekor for link between the gemara & his agenda . Not only that the letter does nothing to address the the core of the issues or it many complexities such as the lack of schools, people not sending to the best school suited for their kids & the responsibility of the school to their current students. The lack of substance in this letter makes it hard to take seriously while it also just raises the tension with no imput of a solution of any sort.
I think we’re mixing up 2 separate issues here.
Is the issue simply a matter of not enough physical space in schools? If so that can be solved. Just look at any growing out of town community school. They run out of space too but because they are owned by the community rather than an individual, the community supports the school and they add on or move to new locations as they grow. They add trailers as a temporary fix and raise the funds within the community so that no child is left behind. It can be done even though it is no simple feat. If that were solely the problem though then we would see all types not being accepted including roshei yeshiva and rabbonim’s kids, other chashuve families or major askanim and baalei batim. I’m not privy to all the details but the cases I am familiar with are the kids from out of the box families or without connections, money or yichus. I’m not hearing about an equal number of chashuve or wealthy families not having a school placement but perhaps I am wrong.
If the issue is that the “desirables” are being accepted and the “undesirables” (for lack of a better term) are the ones left in the dark then the issue is not space, it is sinas chinam to the ultimate.
If space is the only issue we should be seeing all types suffering from the issue and with enough grit and determination that issue can be addressed and solved by modeling the out of town community school methods. Although they are not growing at the rate of many Lakewood schools, they have their own growth rates to contend with and succeed with much sweat and heartache due to the vital work of askanim. The space problem is fixable if it is important enough.
What about “oy lerosha oy leshceino”. How can we expect schools that have a responsibility to the parent body and to the student body to sustain an environment of a specific set of values to than go bring in a child that comes from a home that has none of those same values & will undoubtedly have an influence to opposite nature of what the school is trying to do. Parents can’t really control who their child is friends with, the best they can do is put their child in a pool of children from families that share the same values. I think its a little harsh to call that “sinas chinam”.
It is so easy and simple to just blame others.
You are blaming those who are already doing so much.
It’s the community’s responsibility. How about not allowing any new restaurants to open unless a new school is also opened. Lakewood is now the kosher restaurant capital of the world. Not just in amount but in high end gastronomic delights.
The only way to have room for the ever growing population, bechasdai Hashem, is to open more schools.
So Chaim. You want to take away someone’s potential parnasah, even if it means opening up another restaurant. Very nice of you.
this is a tradgedy and the writer is using it to protest another tradgedy. as far as bad influence goes..can it be that all our mosdos and koach hatorah are so weak that they cant turn one child with “bad influence” towards good? shame on those who water down the koach Hatorah with their paranoya