I write this letter as a fellow frum Yid, and on behalf of many concerned parents in our community. We understand the challenges of running a school and respect your desire to maintain a certain environment and standard. However, I feel compelled to address several areas that have deeply pained many of us, with the hope that they can be improved for the benefit of all.
1. The Interview Process
Many parents have shared that the school’s interview process has left them feeling degraded and humiliated. They describe being spoken to in a condescending tone and, at times, told bluntly, “You are not our type,” or, “You are wasting your time.”
This is not only hurtful but entirely avoidable. If a family is not a good fit, why not simply say, “We are reviewing multiple applications and will get back to you,” or “At this time, we’re unable to proceed”? There is no need to inflict emotional pain to make a decision clear. As a business owner myself, I often interview applicants who are not the right fit. I respond respectfully, often via a follow-up email, thanking them for their time and letting them know the position has been filled. Why should it be any different when dealing with fellow Yidden?
Even more disturbing is when this shame carries over into public interactions — at simchas or even in the grocery store — with comments like, “I don’t even know why you applied — you’re not our type.” This causes lasting embarrassment and pain. No matter how selective a school may be, we must remember that each person is created b’tzelem Elokim and deserves to be treated with dignity.
2. Parent-School Communication
Another area of concern is the way some schools respond when parents try to communicate. Parents are not trying to take over the school — they simply care deeply about their children and want to advocate for them. Unfortunately, many have experienced being dismissed or treated with disrespect. Open, respectful communication should be welcomed, not discouraged.
3. Tuition and Fundraising
We fully understand that tuition must be paid and staff need to be compensated — I run a business and appreciate that more than most. But the way the tuition and fundraising processes are handled in some schools is extremely distressing.
For example, calling family members to pressure them into donating because a sibling was accepted into the school — even when full tuition is being paid — is simply inappropriate. One administrator even told me: “You should be begging us to give every last dollar,” and that paying full tuition is not enough.
Despite giving more than $20,000 annually between tuition and donations, I’ve been told unapologetically that it’s not nearly sufficient, and if I had true hakaras hatov, I’d sponsor an entire floor or gym. This leaves many of us who are balabatish, but not wealthy, feeling exploited and unappreciated.
You have every right to maintain standards, select families that align with your values, and fundraise for your school’s needs. But you do not have the right to degrade, manipulate, or publicly shame people in the process.
Please, let us bring derech eretz, dignity, and compassion back into the way our schools interact with the community. We are all striving for the same goal — to raise children who are yirei shamayim, with good middos, and strong Torah values. Let’s ensure the path to that goal reflects those very same ideals.
TLS welcomes your letters by submitting them to [email protected]
Well written. Sadly will fall (as the saying goes) on deaf ears.
This article is pure Malshinus!
Of course, we will find most people agreeing in the comments, because Human nature, as explained by the Chofetz Chaim, and, lehavdil elef havdalos, psychology, is to feel that authority is out to get you.
here are 2 points to consider
1. Communication
People have different ways of communicating, what sounds offensive to one person is run of the mill to another.
This is why Texting for example, is known to cause communication issues. Because tone and intent cannot be explained.
Same applies here.
My freind could tell me “I dont know why you even applied there, its so not your type” and it can be a simple friendly statement. And then you can have a ritzy elitist say the same thing and its an insult.
And then you can have our situation, where a friendly person is saying it to someone who perceives them as a ritzy elitist.
2. Parents dont want to take over the school….
Well, many times parents forget that there is a lot to consider. I’ll never forget when i was an english teacher, there was one boy who would constantly misbehave, i tried to look past the small stuff ( a mistake btw, it always comes back to bite you), and every once in a while the boy would get in trouble for something outrageous.
I had the parent on the phone at one point, and explained what the child had done. the parent said they understand its wrong, but if a kid feels picked on, thats what they will do.
Well, in that case i simply brought the situation to the menahel. of course, i may be biased… But then the menahel was astounded by what the kid described he had done. SO it wasnt just me.
I started to notice a pattern. Certain kids who felt they were picked on, generally had a parent who rooted for them when something happened. WHile other boys had parents who apologized and worked together.
I started to notice that the kids who were the recurring offenders usually had parents who were excusers.
Not unlike the situation with todays bail reform laws, and repeat offenders!
Taking it back to our conversation. Yes, many parents can be unreasonable. Expecting an administrator to change certain features that to them are minor changes with large benefits.
They fail to see the larger picture and all the little parts of the picture that make that change innapropriate.
And they get quite upset, while all the while saying they arent trying to take over.
What does you bieng an englisg teacher have to do with treated disrespectful by an interview? or being told you are no our type. anyone will agree that its a hurtful comment. Its unacceptable to hurt people in the process regardless if you cant communicate. Lastly, the people overwhelmingly seem to have been treated the same way. There are nice schools agreed. We are talking here about peoples pain and frustration. not sure if you are a engisg teacher because you are a lo yitslach or because it doesn’t pas.Thats my communication style!
So here you have it.
A derisive response to a very matter of fact comment, which you clearly misunderstood, all the while complaining that you dont get treated fairly and everyone has the same experience.
Yep. Just beautiful.
And yes, maybe I was an english teacher because I was a Lo Yitzlach. Anything to make you feel better ma’am.
so that why when i ask for a bus change I get screamed at? or if I could have a meeting with the menahel as my kid is going thru a bulling issue. I must be taking over the school. buy when you need money for a charity campaign and I don’t return your calls, then I’m the bad one? its my method of communication. Secondly, the schools that reject by saying your not our type do it in a disgusting way. not the friendly way your friend does. I am wondering if you feel its ok to scream at a english teacher as a parent if my kids lunch was spoiled. i mean u feel its ok to be mean to parents if there parents that ask to get in to a school?
so that why when i ask for a bus change I get screamed at? or if I could have a meeting with the menahel as my kid is going thru a bulling issue. I must be taking over the school. buy when you need money for a charity campaign and I don’t return your calls, then I’m the bad one? its my method of communication. Secondly, the schools that reject by saying your not our type do it in a disgusting way. not the friendly way your friend does. I am wondering if you feel its ok to scream at a english teacher as a parent if my kids lunch was spoiled. i mean u feel its ok to be mean to parents if there parents that ask to get in to a school?
Let us make a compromise
פשרה
The letter writer is saying the truth in reference to a few individuals.
I would not call this “pure Malshinus”. You are saying that you are much better than the average administrator. Maybe the letter writer had a sour experience with a different administrator. Let’s come in 50/50. You are both slightly exaggerating.
You obviously didn’t go thru the process. Look at the responses and tell me if people had this experience or not. Its always the ones that didn’t experience it that have zero empathy.
I would call to your attention that i do not state anywhere that I am better than the average administrator.
One reason being that I am not an administrator at all.
The main gist of my comments was that not every time someone feels mistreated is it because they actually were, rather it may sometimes (IMO most times) a sense of entitlement and lack of understanding the full picture.
I have not personally experienced any nasty interviews, but I have had some distasteful ones (2 out of 4. The other 2 were quite pleasant). In one, the interviewer (admin?) asked where I lived, and then remarked that their usual “clientele” is from — and — neighborhood in Lakewood and Jackson respectively (we were “accepted” anyways. we politely declined). In the other case, the interviewer asked maybe three questions total, one being “what MY parents do (!)”. (Yes, the applicant’s grandparents!).
While both, I am sure, were fine schools, personally, these interviews gave my wife and I immediate clarity that they were not for us.
All the points you make are valid. I would just like to point out that the behavior you see is due to the fact that most school administrators receive no formal training on how to best perform their duties. They are not taught how to communicate, delegate, or administrate. A number of them become administrators due to family connections or other such considerations. One may think that the qualification required to be a successful administrator is born in mentchlichkeit, but that is not the case. Education and training is the key.
Unfortunately, this method is quite effective. Millions of dollars is raised based off of manipulation, shame and guilt. Doesn’t make it right
They do have training. Its to do the above disgusting behaviors. So the people that got their kids in to schools easily won’t be able to relate. If you aren’t balabatish they won’t come to you like that. Its us that pay crazy high tuition and are treating poorly.
This article unfortunately is a repeat and nothing will happen. Just one thing to bring to your attention. Sometimes you think you belong somewhere and you don’t the way you represent yourself the way you dress. You can have it both ways. You can’t live the showy life and not a tznua and expect to get accepted everywhere. No one says you have to send there if you want to send to that school or you want to live in that neighborhood or you want to dominant in that shul then respect the way the people act and represent themselves fit in. Don’t be the sore thumb
Majority aren’t like you and others like to portray them. Majority are simple and Tzniusdik. People are generally good, but there are many who are stuck up. They want to dictate and control. The bigger problem is, this isn’t what Torah and chinuch are about.
Why is it that these top schools aren’t producing top products? Its interesting to note that our gedolim of today struggled and worked hard to become who they were. Many didnt learn in elite yeshivas. They would never be accepted. Rav Gifter openly says he went to public school. So did Rav Miller zl. They went to yeshivas that took in all types of people. From there hashem sent us our gedolim. Here none of them would stand a chance. They wato switch from public school?!? Are u crazy. Go watch and see who turns out better. The erluch simple home or elites. The elites are about ego, fame and money. Love of yiddishkiet an hashem aren’t part of curriculum. As it’s stated in pirkei avos. Lo hamedersh haikur ele hamysa!!! Actions speak louder than words!!!
Buildings can also be showy ya know.
This article unfortunately is a repeat and nothing will happen. Just one thing to bring to your attention. Sometimes you think you belong somewhere and you don’t the way you represent yourself the way you dress. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t live the showy life and not a tznua and expect to get accepted everywhere. No one says you have to send there if you want to send to that school or you want to live in that neighborhood or you want to davin in that shul then respect the way the people act and represent themselves fit in. Don’t be the sore thumb
Your comment is a reapeat. What a nut job! Im wondering if you even have kids? You definitely don’t sound like ur capable. Everyone knows that there are schools that treat people like this. Its not a secret. Sadly it’s the more super yeshivish ones. The mainstream frum schools are generally respectful in my experience. I have kids in both.I bli neder will never send to a super Yeshivish school again. My son’s 8th grade class was as rotten as it gets. All from the right homes!!!! My other kids are in regular mainstream schools and are in a great environment bh. So in short get educated!
Holy cow you are scary…
In order to post such a comment, you are probably a little bit angry, you are upset, you have
טענות
on other people, you are also probably full of energy in order to write such a comment.
My one and only question is, maybe the extra energy that you were using to write such a tough comment, why not use that same energy to say Tehillim for all the super yeshivish schools and implore Hashem to send special
סייעתא דשמיא
to all the super yeshivish families and please help them to all be super successful and they should be so successful that no one would even dare think about maybe calling even one of them “r-o-t-t-e-n”. I was petrified to actually spell that word in a regular manner because we are talking about Hashem’s beautiful children.
just curious, why i have a $35 dollar watch, and menaheles of school XYZ has a Michele watch? its a gift from grateful parent body? yes sure my school is not so yeshivish as per this person, more gashmiyus. Can she take off her Michele? thank you!
Maybe she bought a Michele watch because she attended a Simcha of one of the families that have a student in her school and she happens to know that the family is not paying their tuition in a timely manner and at the Simcha she was shocked to notice that they had a lot of expensive booze, schnapps, liquor , wine and etc.
I guess we can call that Even-Steven.
She was shocked that expensive schnapps is more important than tuition and you are surprised on her watch and don’t forget probably she pays full tuition in a timely manner for her children that belong maybe to a different school (a boy school).
I dont know what you are referring to. I work in a school, and I have children in 3 schools around town. I have never experienced this AT ALL.
AND, in one case we werent accepted until the last minute. Was always dealt with respect!!
This is not a public letter, this was your personal experience.
Instead of shooting down the author, why not validate their experience and seek to understand what they mean?
because why would a self respecting person validate a vile attack painting a broad spectrum of individuals with a less than positive brush?!
Your insistence that a vile accusation be “validated” is not virtuous. not at all.
Its quite destructive in fact.
Im sure many have experienced this type of behavior. I myself know of many people who have experienced this type of issue. Just because you didn’t experience it doesn’t mean that it does not happen.
why are you sure?
SOrry to be so abrupt but this happens to be a pet peeve of mine.
I cant help but notice that anytime people have to follow rules or that not everyone can be accepted there are many who deal graciously, but then there are many more who cant understand why they didnt get what they desire.
They then conjure a story about mistreatment that is neither true nor sane.
So you being “sure many were treated this way” is not ok. Besides that it goes against Btzedek tishpot amisecha.
Because we were! Just wondering if somone tells u they have chest pain will u not call an ambulance? I mean if I don’t have it how could u. I know of people that have gas. No ambulance?
So you are judging that I belong to a ritzy school and shul etc. On the contrary. I dress fully tsniusdig, am not showy or flashy at all. Im Yeshivish balabatish. I don’t dress less yeshivish than any of the people who are supporting their husbands in kollel. You have a lot of learning to do. Many erluch people suffer. Many are treated poorly. Please don’t judge generally.
Administrators dont usually do interviews. They deal with tuition etc.
Who is this addressed to?
Really?! Where do u send your kids too? I myself was treated horribly in the process. Let’s wait and see other responses. You are a typical lakewood narssasist. If it didn’t happen to me it didn’t happen at all. What a nut. In your other posts you claim u work in a school. You are 100 percent out of touch. Of course you weren’t treated that way.
1. Really!?!
2. You, not U
3. Lakewood Narcissist.
4. We don’t know what happened to you.
5. Again U
6. Etc.
With that amount of vitriol coming out of you I find myself skeptical that you were treated bad. Seems to me that you simply assume people who dont see things your way are being hurtful to you, when in reality it is you being unfair to them.
I agree. There is no struggling. My kids are OK. We dont have a issue with internet. I don’t carry a smartphone so no issue. There is no issue marrying off kids because I’m single so it’s not a issue@! So if it does not affect u it’s all good?
Bd and Rn are same people. Please don’t use multiple names to get your point across. Both posts were posted with same email and different user names. We doubt your posts are legit. People are in pain and your being insensitive. We will block you if u use multiple aliases. Please refrain.
@scoop moderator
Its always in the name of defending someones pain that people attack others.
I find it distasteful that your accusing someone of being insensitive to someones pain in the name of that person villifying genric yeshiva administrators.
Huh? Who doesnt use multiple names here? and what exactly is a “not legit post”?
spot on
Thank you cholentface and cs/seriously!! TLS has its moods too!
please don’t use name scoop moderator
@realscoopmoderator, no you are not.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat
Many people are guilted into doing things for schools, using manipulative concepts such as hakaras hatov. We need to understand that there is a mutually satisfying relationship between the school owner/administrator and the parents. Neither are altruists. Both provide something for the other one, and the hakaras hatov is equal to that between business proprietor and customer. Don’t get bullied, give if you want to, but not out of guilt.
Schools are privately owned enterprises where administrators can behave the way they want, ask for as much money as they want, yet keep their books closed. We don’t have much of a choice because we have to send our kids to school.
We need more schools. Instead of giving big bucks to the current schools, it would be smart to use those funds to help open more schools. We have know idea if the schools even need the money. During covid the schools got huge amounts of gelt. Hundreds of thousands. Where is all the money. We need more schools and more transparency.
new schools dont take people, they send you to old schools because they need to build up their name. no point opening new schools, the most popular ones become popular because they claim to be most elitist. we need community to fund extra classes in existing schools,its cheaper than to afford all new schools infrastructure. there should be a community fund for those kids that didnt get into school, and schools that take kids should get the funding. whats the point supporting mosdos that arent taking jewish kids in? the point in supporting school is doing chesed to klal yisroel, not to support random persons business. all donors should ask a mosad before they donate substantial amounts, if the mosad will accept kids.
I got my kids in to a top new school. Don’t forget every school wants to fill up their opening class. They tend to allow simple erluch people in easier. It’s once the class is filled then they become pickier. When there is a new school run by experienced hands, ask who other parents are. U will be surprised to see erluch people just like you. This has nothing to do BTW with treating people disrespectful or condescending. This doesn’t excuse nasty talk. My son’s are all by Rabbi Benders School in lakewood. We have none of these issue. I remember him struggling with the first class. Now it’s so hard to get because it’s full. Yes the balabatish guy is with the son of the Rebbe and butcher. We are klal yisroel. No there is no open door but we do accept erluch houses only. To the point that many who send to Elite schools want to send here including Rabbonim. Rabbi Bender is willing to expand but needs funding.feel free to reach out to him
Agreed. I told my kids administrator if he wants me to give more money I want to directly pay for it. No middleman. You need new desks I’ll get you the model u want delivered. You want a fund to pay Rebbes a pesach bonus. Im paying each Rebbe directly. You claim your central account broke. I’ll bring a tech. I’ll pay a company to fix sewer etc. I found my kids school unwilling to go along with this. I wonder why?! If it’s just to cover bills and not more, then why aren’t you willing? My shul has the exact opposite policy. Get it done. We need new chairs, siddurim, floor mikva broke. Whoever could sponsor and call somone down kol hakavod. Schools by not willing to show us your books and being demanding you send us a message. Im not transparent.
As somone that is a privileged women who knows better than everyone is disagree. Im the most erluch out there and get my kids in right away. I must be right and you are wrong. If my foot isn’t hurting how could yours? Meaning if I didn’t have this experience than it didn’t happen. I mean every person that doesn’t get in to a schools is damaged goods. You know what the chutzpa is when I tried getting my daughter in to feminine israel. There i was rejected. There it makes sense. But in lakewood I’m king!
*Seminary
We don’t owe you to take your kid. You owe us everything. The fact we even were willing to talk to you is going out of our way. We are aggressive because that brings in the cash. Simple. We are tough because people will step on us. Don’t be a babby and go for therapy if this is a issue. We do what it takes to get our school running. We don’t need to listen to Rabbanim. They are there for letterhead purposes only. Oh I forgot kvias mezuzah and hascholas gemara.
lol, this commentor is obviously not an administrator.
Thanks for showing us what your true intentions are! We always knew that hashkafa was a marketing tool and not something u practice. You are running a business not a mosad. I understand you fully. It makes sense that you want a elite school. It’s your business!
TO Bd and RN administrators are very involved in the acceptance. Probably the most important person to decide if a family gets in or is out. THE CHILDREN ARE THE ONES GETTING HURT WITH ALL THESE ADULTS ACTING LIKE CHILDREN. IT COMES THROUGH TO THE CHILD FEELING LEFT OUT, UNWARTHEY call it what u want. As a community We NEED TO DO BETTER. DONT FIRGET WE ARE IN ROSH CHODESH TAMUZ. AND elul is comming.
As a School Administrator, A Perspective Worth Considering:
Reading this letter, I felt it was important to share some context from the perspective of someone who lives this every day.
Yes, it’s possible the administrator in question was having a bad day and reacted poorly. That doesn’t excuse bad behavior, and if someone is consistently rude or inappropriate, it absolutely needs to be addressed on an individual basis. No one should feel mistreated, least of all a parent advocating for their child.
But let’s also keep in mind: administrators are people. We’re not machines, and we’re certainly not perfect. Many of us carry tremendous achrayus (responsibility) trying to hold up schools that are struggling financially and operationally. Most Lakewood mosdos run in the red. When I took over my current school, I inherited a $5 million deficit. The previous administrator—well-intentioned, but overwhelmed—was under constant pressure from the board, staff, and parents.
I previously ran a large boys’ and girls’ school in another state where tuition began at $9,500 just for primary grades. Even then, the state funding only went so far. In Lakewood, we’re somehow expected to provide full education, busing, lunches, and more—for $5,600 a year. It’s simply not a sustainable model without some major stress on leadership.
Most of us are working very hard just to keep the lights on and the doors open—often without thanks. So if you encounter an administrator who’s short or unkind, please address it respectfully—but also try to extend a bit of understanding to the rest of us who are doing our best, day in and day out.
We’re here for the children, just like you.
Based on what you said, don’t you think it might make more sense for someone else to be doing the admissions? Maybe the Menahel or a an admissions board.
It sounds like admissions might not be a good fit for the administrator, considering how much stress you are under and the fact that this will likely spill out towards your potential applicants.
Very nicely written. I would love to know the school u work in. Who pays 5600. Its 6500 plus building fee of 1500. Another 1500 by the dinner. And 500 for registration. Plus the charidy campaign where I’m told I need to raise the money or pay myself. Paying the same 9500 by the way. 5600 is a price schools give to struggling families. Please be honest. I don’t believe the majority are there. And don’t forget the shtick of i have no room but if u give… then I’ll take. Every school that is successful has that chance some more than others.
We are taking about these issues that occur steadily. There are schools that fundraise well. There are those that are terrible at it. If you open a school u need to expect to have a backer and great fundraising. You also need to understand that people aren’t running to support your school if you have a name of mistreating your people. This includes people in your school that were already accepted and learn by u. I myself bh had extra masser and ran to give it to one of the schools that my son attends. The other schools didn’t get a penny extra. So next time ur rude to parents think. I am going to need money from this guy. If i treat him bad he won’t open. Many schools here that struggle treat their parents awful. When a parent says I’m sending here because I have no options that’s a red flag. Please dont judge us we are people too. Just wondering do u know how hard it’s for us to pay bills let alone tuition? When was the last time you said to parents tysm for paying?! I hearing from one school only. That’s why I support them.
Dear TLS – during the 3 weeks, it would be advisable to avoid publishing anything that will likely result in forbidden speech. I for one soundly reject all of the loshon hora in the letter and in the comments. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
What a stupid comment. You forget why we are in galus.How about we work on what caused the beis hamikdash to be destroyed in the first place. Schools that hurt parents are the reasons why there is no bais hamikdash.
i believe i may have responded to your comment later on, but just for good measure, i”ll say it again.
The beis Hamikdash was destroyed because of Lashon Hara, As per the Chofetz Chaim, and no one really disagrees, TMK.
So accusing schools of being elitist and uncaring certainly qualifies.
How dare people come here, on some anonymous allegation of mistreatment and besmirch the reputation “administrators in lakewood”?
I worked for a school, I have children in school, and my brother in law was an administrator, and i have NEVER seen anything remotely like what was described here.
I am not saying there never were mistakes. Even great people can accidentally say things the wrong way etc.
And many times there are varying viewpoints and someone feels insulted, while it was never meant.
but where do you get off on taking this allegation as fact, and then labeling all the others with this issue.
Yes, let us remember why the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed my friend.
sinas chinom! Its still happening. Saying your brother in law is a admin and it never happened and silly. its like saying I don’t have cancer cv how good you? you have chest pain I don’t? I mean only old men get heart attacks. My grandfather died of a stroke and he was 90. You had a stroke at 30 don’t believe you.
Stupid comment coming from the peanut gallery. When u go from school to school and get treated terrible u won’t disagree. Bieng a English teacher makes u have no authority on the topic. Boys misbehaving and parents that are mistreated by a interview have no connection.
some reading comprehension would go a long way for you.
For starters, it wasnt about boys misbehaving, but about the parents reaction to it.
I also had to struggle to get my kid into school, and BH i had siyata dishmaya.
I’m no victim, there are processes for a reason. and just because you werent given what you want doesnt mean you were mistreated.
Yes, the struggle is real. And thats painful. But when thats turned around to villify the person you blame for the problem, i have zero sympathy for you.
There is a simple solution to the problem. Let the schools publish the true costs and open their books. If they are really as they say, many people will be grateful and no longer criticize.
well meaning, but very bad idea.
there will be 100 opinions about every decision and it will backfire. that is the fear of every reasonable person, in this regard.
As a longtime Lakewood parent, who has dealt with at least six schools/yeshivos over the years between different kids bH, I have always encountered respectful administrators and have never been treated the way the letter writer describes. I believe it happens sometimes, but I don’t believe it’s as rampant as he would have you believe. I imagine also that sometimes parents are difficult and perhaps the administrators are at their wits end. This doesn’t ever excuse bad behavior but please don’t tar everyone with the same brush. Please let’s remember that it’s the three weeks.
yes lets also remember those girls who arent in school yet, and lets remember why the beis hamikdash was destroyed, and stop for a minute and self-reflect if the issue was eradicated. maybe if people would hate other people less, and hate money more, and also wont think someone a bit different from them is koifer, we will have beis hamikdash back.
cant let a serious person get in a serious comment without finding the negative to respond back, hm?
Yes, lets remember why the beis hamikdash was destroyed.
Maybe because when people didnt get accepted, instead of thinking about the possibly valid reasons and being understanding, they went and schmoozed their resentment out to everyone they met. Besmirching, in generic fashion, the name of every school administrator in a town, over the ALLEGED actions of a few.
well, i did not say anywhere that ALL the school administrators are terrible people. Usually, when a regular person reads something negative or loshon hara, they just dont believe it or ignore. I dont think all school owners/administrators are bad/evil/ etc., and that’s why I just skip these remarks from posters. You got extremely triggered and jumped to defend their kavod, but you do not show empathy to the parents, blaming parents for this situation. Guess what, by the end of summer my kid will be in school bez”h, and this parsha will be over for me.
Whatever the valid reason is, if you are school administrator and you reject a person, you don’t have to make me your therapist and explain to me that if you will take my family, people might say something about your mosad. Isn’t it onaaas devarim? I don’t get paid for running school, and I dont have to understand your problems and empathetically listen to you, when you see me as a garbage.
and i totally didn’t even address my comment to school owners. Sinas chinam didn’t disappear much, if you take it as addressed to davka hanhala, and not all our generation, I feel bad that you take it so personally. Whoever isn’t guilty of hurting people, doesn’t need to feel the guilt.
The only thing I can think of – as I peruse through the peanut gallery – is that we need a spelling and grammar moderator for the comments.
Jiminy Cricket…
So you cant disagree with her points you attack her spelling? maybe disprove her points?
1. Can’t NOT cant.
2. Maybe is capitalized.
Oh, and I wasn’t talking about the letter writer.
I was referring to YOU. Thank you for proving my point.
can’t. points, so you. Maybe.
maybe it was baruch dov and rivka nechama cohen both responding.
or baila devorah and refael nosson.
Also seems the scoop moderators are a wee bit biased here.
i see a lot more insensitive comments than what they posted
Thank you again!
The things our school administrator told us when we applied would never be acceptable in any other city. If parents heard the craziness that came out if his mouth anywhere else, they would run so far away from this school. Because of the huge number of applicants, schools here get away with this abhorrent behavior.
Eye gess mi Englis know goot
What about the policy in some schools/Yeshivas where if you take one kid out to transfer him to a more suitable Yeshiva for him, they don’t let the others kids in that family stay. Is that fair? What if the other kids are thriving there? Why ruin their success just because other child needs something else? They don’t care about the child. They care more about the school name and reputation. Maybe that’s why so many kids are lost to the system… They’re not doing it L’Shem Shamayim.
So cancel culture has arrived once again if I wasn’t hurt you would not hurt if I’m not in pain you’re not in pain right all these wonderful people here who claim that they weren’t in pain has nothing to do with addressing the people that were in pain that’s like telling someone that has cancer I don’t believe that you have pain because I don’t have cancer how could you have cancer I mean don’t be stupid people really went through this and we should be embracing bracing them and offering words of support not words of guilt and blame. To all your people that got into schools easily I have a question for you how would you feel if someone would say there’s no dating crisis I mean my kids got married right away so I know what you’re talking about there’s no problem with people not getting jobs I don’t know I have a job all these above people have said such nonsense and have paint many individuals who struggle of course not everybody has nasty people agreed but this has to be addressed let’s not shove it on the road and no if you had a bad experience it doesn’t mean everyone had a bad experience but we trust you that your feelings are real.
So u got in. Did u go from school to school like I did? At number ten we got in. It was a gruesome experience. U claim not to have this experience. I trust you. Can u trust the thousands of pained boys and girls that have no school each year? Is there another community in usa that has this issue? Please don’t minimize our pain. If u didn’t experience it you have no say. You say you weren’t mistreated. I was big time.
I was at a hotel this Shabbos with a bunch of families,from different backgrounds.
The most ritzy and snobbish from the whole crowd was an extended Lakewood family.
Was sad to see three Bucherim on Sunday morning sitting in shul crossed legs, with Tshirts and tight pants.
This town needs a new Bal Shem Tuv, to bring in some warmth and love to Hashem.
To much disconnection, to much snobbishness.
A town of full of wannabes.
Everyone walks around with a sign I am better.
I am Frumer!
I am more modern and better!
I am this type and I am that type!
I have a nice car!
I have a nicer one!
I am the real frum family type.
We are the better family!
The place gives out literally kids and families with no Middos and no decency.
It’s a big shame.
The Mosdos are treating the clientele,
The clientele is all about elitism, they are here to serve the elitism of the community.
Come on.There are super aidel families that arent part of that culture. Please don’t cast the entire community as one.
That is such a lie!!!!!!!! It is usually the people from Lakewood who are the kindest and most refined!!!!!
You see what you want to see. If you’re looking to see people from Lakewood with a bad eye, then even if they’re being friendly and nice you’ll say they’re holier than thou. Maybe try walking around and seeing how kind and what a lev tov people in Lakewood are brought up with and the refinement that they’re taught to behave with instead.
3 bachurim chilling out and probably not realizing anything was even wrong with them sitting crossed legged (which I don’t think there is necessarily), just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it was something bad. It just means they didn’t realize and it was an innocent mistake.
Next time try going over to them and saying “Shalom Aleichem” and then telling them in a nice and none-provoking way that you would appreciate them uncrossing their legs in shul. You can also add that they for sure didn’t realize and you just wanted to bring it to their attention.
Saying all the disgusting vitriol that was just spewed out is nothing more then Motzi Shem Ra on an entire town of people who moved here in the first place because they wanted to come closer to Hashem and grow in their Avodas Hashem!!!
You are right that people are refined.
The question is where is it coming from.
Is it just refined? Or is it another need to show how special and nice we are?
It’s missing the basic inner values of Yoddishkeit.
Our identity and our value is that we are all Yidden Hashems kids and we have special kind of Nshumes.
We are defined by “Types”!
If you grow by other values not by the value of just being a Jew then this is the result.
If the bucher comes out of a Yeshivah where the Rosh Yeshivah only gives recognition to the few special kid that is standing out because of his talented way of thinking, then this other boy will also have the need to stand out, and he will do out with a nice car.
So you end up having a community of unhappy people who everybody has to stand out.
Someone with how special his yoddishkeit and someone with how cool he is, so a whole huge community of modern cool modern Yeshivish community is formed, who because there need of standing out the modern way, they are delivering this to their children.
You have people making a bar mitsvah and all they are doing is singing “Happy birthday” and and modeling out this boy with his Bar Mitsvah hairstyle.
It’s all a direct result of not living together and loving each other and believing living a way of being happy Yidden Togther.
We are not here to show each other why I am more special than you.
We are here to live together and harmony and value each other as we are all holy Yidden
They are in pain. Let’s validate them and hold those admins accountable.Lets agree that not all admins are like that. Finally, please shut down the negative comments on both sides. They arent productive at all.