This is not a letter about tipping our counselors—because we all already know about it and do so.
Just a little PSA about the way we tip.
Consider this: my neighbor’s daughter worked at a local day camp for very minimal pay—it was considered a privilege to work there! At the end of the summer, she received multiple tips—but get this—she got $50 worth of gift cards to a local ice cream store and not a single cash tip. She still has $25 worth of ice cream gift cards from last year that she never had a chance to use, so you can imagine she was quite disappointed.
Here’s another typical story that really happened: at the end of the summer, a friend’s daughter received 11 identical boxes of treats from a popular bakery—except that she’s gluten-free and couldn’t enjoy any of it.
The counselors feel so appreciated when they get your thank-you notes and tips, and it makes all the hard work and standing in the sun for hours on end worth it! On the other hand, it’s actually quite insulting to give a 5th grader (or older) a gift card. It insinuates that the only thing she cares about in life is when she can get her next milkshake, when in reality she may have been secretly dreaming of buying herself something special and unique with her tip money.
I actually thought a lot about this before submitting this letter, because I am not looking to hurt local establishments in any way. But then I realized that if the parents are right, and the only thing missing in the counselors’ lives is ice cream, then the stores will still make their money.
So here’s my advice: save yourself the trip to buy the gift cards, and the hassle of rushing to the bakery first thing on the last morning of camp, and give your children’s counselors something that will actually make them happy.
With much appreciation,
Your Counselor’s Mom
TLS welcomes your letters by submitting them to [email protected]
As someone who spent my teenage years working as a day camp counselor, I would like to respectfully disagree. It was so fun to be able to go out with friends for ice cream so often, and I really enjoyed the gift cards.
(If someone would tip a larger amount, like $25, I would have preferred cash. But a $10 gift card is more exciting than $10 cash.)
Obviously everyone has their own opinion and there is no right or wrong, whatever you tip is appreciated!
I will point out that I used to get very bothered when I would get a $5 gift card to a more expensive store, which would basically force me to spend $$ in order to use the gift card.
I second that, would you want to get $10 cash or a $10 gift card what can you do with $10 cash so in my humble opinion $10 gift card is nicer. PS if she doesn’t want her gift card you can drop the m off by me ill use them.
10.00 cash from 15 parents is a nice sum for a young girl. $150.00 in Sprnkles? Not so exciting.
What does a teenager need so many gift cards to stores in another town for?
Yes! Cash is king, I always say. Why force someone to go to a specific place?
It’s interesting that phrase “cash is king”
Hashem is the king of all kings in other words all the cash belongs to Hashem.
It’s an expression I guess you’ve never come across. It means that cash is always the best route when it comes to giving gifts like tips.
I get you what I feel is right for me and for a (moderated)
I think you are absolutely right!
I heard the same from a teacher. Gift cards and checks are very nice. However, a gift card means they have to go to that store. A check means it has to go through their account, which can be an issue with taxes. Cash with a short personal thank you, even less value, has more value. Also when dealing with teenagers, it’s not like they live next door to the store you got the gift card from. Now in order for them to use the card. a parent or older sibling has to change their schedule to go to that side of town.
If a couple of $10.00 checks having to go through your (or your daughter’s) bank account is going to cause an issue with taxes then I’m afraid it’s time to get a new accountant.
What if you get 25 checks twice a summer? This also applies to teachers and rebbeim during the school year.
Perfect. Thanks mom, now i know I can just give the card! I’ll save the gift card for myself.
I Think the real issue is working for minimal pay.
I give staff cards that read, “In appreciation for your hard work & dedication a donation to my favorite tzedaka has been made in your name.”
I’ve been told they greatly appreciate it.
I guess when you say “they greatly appreciate it” you are referring to your favorite tzedaka(s). And why wouldn’t they appreciate a little extra money!!
I doubt that you were referring to the staff and counselors because from the negative responses to your comment it seems it’s not something that they appreciate..
There will be some that agree and some that disagree. Personally I think tips is just another hole in the pocket of parents whichever way you do it. Parents are working more money than they can afford to the camps to begin with. Let the camps pay more and the parents skip the tips. Thank you notes always are nice. I dont think tips more than $10 per parent should be requested. Your daughter’s cash flow should not have to come through extra tips from parents. If they want to send a thank you let them choose which way to do it. Not always will it be what you wished for.
Cash flow is your daughter’s employers responsibility.
Honestly, the reason most parents give a pastry or a gift card is because many of them have a lot of counselors to tip. And they really don’t have the money to give a lot of money to each one. A pastry can cost $2.50. But you absolutely cannot give your child’s counselor $2.50 in cash- even a five dollar bill is insulting. But a five dollar gift card to sprinkles does get you an ice cream at least. I don’t think the parents are choosing what the counselor should be spending her tip on. I think it’s more that they’re trying to give a token of appreciation because they do feel she deserves something but they can’t (or don’t want to) really afford a respectable amount of cash, and a pastry or gift card does the job.
this is being written as the mother of a counselor and not of children in day camp. My daughter the counselor would love $10 or $20 cash tips from each parent. But in many cases it’s not going to happen so at least they went out and bought a token of appreciation for the counselor.
Yhet don’t give a single pastry. They give a tray of cookies.
They do not. My girls have gotten a cinnamon bun. Or even a packaged danish from the grocery. Never a tray of cookies.
Lucky her.
We parents are sick and tired of getting our day camp fees more expensive each year. Don’t blame parents. Maybe some directors can chime in why they raised fees the past few years a couple of hundreds of dollars. They should pay them at least like a janitor minumum wage. Its horrible that we are taken advantage of. Tell your daughter that not every parent can tip. Be thankful fir what u got.
A separate issue.
Give the choice to the counselor,ie. cash.Leave the Ice cream for yourself
I want to give someone a tip…
so I have something that is accepted everywhere (cash).
but I want to give a better gift…
so I’ll give something that is only accepted a y one store
And if the young lady can’t get to that store, what should she do?
Decades ago when i worked at a sleep away camp, the camp provided a tipping price sheet for all parents with expected minimum tips for counselor, JC, waiter etc.
It was made clear before camp that minimum tip was not optional. (Separate rant about mandatory tips some other time)
I believe if you have a child working at a camp you should bring this up to management before the summer starts.
I know I I’m come to say something that many won’t like but tip for life never expect be happy with what you get
TOTALY WITH THE MOM!
My son was a counselor for the first time and also got minimal pay but loved the job
he told me that he got one tip of $10 and thought it was Very Thoughtful and APPRECIATED it!
My daughters appreciate any form of appreciation- especially the cards!
The gift cards or the notes? two very different parts of the discussion.
The cards, meaning the notes of thanks expressing appreciation. Sorry for the confusion!
If you want to give a giftcard, there are ones that are accepted in multiple stores (frum and Visa). But don’t give one that has someone else’s name on it (I’ve gotten that as a counselor)
So you get a $10 card and get yourself something for 8.99, what do you with the rest? You wind up walikng around with a few cards having loose change on them. but with the same in cash, you can use with ease. Also a point to note, if 20 parents give a teenager $10 each, she can put in the bank for when she has real needs. A gift card has dated value.
My ninth grader was a counselor in a backyard day camp , she got mostly 5-10 dollar tips, with beautiful cards, some even written by the 3rd grade campers themselves , She was so touched , the money wasn’t as important as the cards. This year she didn’t get gift cards and honestly she would be happy either which way!! Remember a tip is a bonus , it’s not expected!!
My so worked for a month wit 23 wonderful kids in first grade. He got a 20$ cash tip and a 5$ Rita gift card. I’m not sure how to react.
Spend $10 on gas getting to ritas, and another $10 on something in the store.
Gift card registry is the way to go. I would say it goes up to 95% of Lakewood stores
Why is that better then cash which i can deposit for when I’m starting a family?
It is appropriate for younger people
My daughter got a thin purple joke book from the judaica store it’s adorable and we all enjoyed it!! I would have no shame in giving the Morah a personalized card written out of real Hakaras Hatov with $5 in it, really. If funds are low and there’s many kids in camp give what you can.
My kids BH live with many luxuries and are still pumped to come home with cards and tokens of appreciation. A stack of rumpled fives given with heart is really nice. The chocolate bar with $5 attached was also sweet and driving them to ice cream establishement to have to add $ and pay for other children’s ice cream too was not as exciting for anyone.
Cash is good. Less is okay too.
“Because we all already know about it and do”
Not necessarily. I thanked the counselor personally and that was that. Camp costs a lot as it is. When I was a counselor we got very few tips. The wages were paid by camp and even though it wasn’t that much we still walked away with a few hundred dollars.
When we start complaining about the type of tips we’re receiving we know we’re in trouble… just STOOOPPP….
Usually, the pple that give the small cards/danishes/chocolates want to show hakaras hatov but simply can’t afford to give more and $4 is just not done. APPRECIATE WHAT YOU GET!! Appreciate that a parent took the time and money to show their appreciation. Not everything needs to be a money-grab.
Don’t teach your son, daughter and yourself such self-entitlement. Yes, they are working hard as a counselor but the camps my kids work in have always given then a fun time too; extra canteen, a special counselor activity, a nice little t’chotcha, etc. Also realize that the alternative – sleep away camp – is a HUGE expense and instead your child is getting a fun and productive way to spend the month at no cost to you at all.
The $2 and a personal thank you is worth much more then the prepackaged pastry.