1. Hashem should bentsch you and your family and all the people that are helping you and their families, Hashem should bentsch all of you with lots of good health and happiness.
   כתיבה וחתימה טובה לכל עם ישראל

   • with all the antisemitism out in the street maybe it is safer and smarter to have a sit in in the neighbor’s almost totally empty home where the only issues are comfort and privacy as opposed to facing escape and rescue from angry throngs at the boardwalk.

2. my rebbi taught us, yidden don’t date, they go on shiduch pegishas, he said you don’t ask a bocher if he’s dating, goyim date, yidden are oisik in shiduchim.

   • Grow up

   • The possuk says tzadik katamar yifrach. Yidden date too….

3. I know I will be vilified for this comment.

   How about opening homes up for a “beshau”? It can be a different home if dating continues!

   Lounges?–fifty years ago their clientelle’s lack of dignified dress was anathema to a frum bochur.

   The aim of dating is to discuss important issues. There is time once there is a Vort, for the couple to go out and I imagine the expense will be included in the Simcha budget.

   • I’ll tell you why. As someone that dated close to 20 years ago, had I sat only in houses I wouldn’t have picked up on some of the bad middos and nuances I picked up on while out at places walking around and doing things, that I clearly was able to see as I dated some guys.
     When you sit and just talk, you don’t see how people interact. This is both for the bachurim and the girls.

     I got to see how they interacted with people around us, what made them annoyed or angry, when they were caring or selfish, etc all from my outings and excursions.
     You won’t see everything and trust me I had plenty of surprises after I got married too, but I was able to see non surprises from being out on dates.

     I think this organization is great, though I hope they also teach the boys to think for themselves too because that’s a crucial component for marriage that if you’re handed dating with a silver platter without also the skills to think and plan, may end up missing in real life in real time.

     • Then perhaps that componant could be learnt during marriage.

       Perhaps Marrige itself conditions a person for marriage.

       This doe snot mean not to prepare but at the same time perhaps we can yearn and seek to see how the reality itself conditions us.

   • I feel bad for your kids when they go into shidduchim….

   • I feel bad for your kids when they go into shiduchim…

   • Correct. It doesn’t have to be specifically like the Chasidic version. The idea is to be more like what’s done in Europe as well as in Eretz Yisroel. The dating process costs pennies.

     • Perhaps a bashau works when the parents of both sides have done such a proper reseach into the other side ; but what of Bachurim that are not so fortunate to come from families so grounded; can they simply rely on a Bashau?

       • I said the Israeli European style. Not the Chasidic style. It’s not a one and done. the yeshivish there also go out more then 1-2 times. I’m not for the Chasidic style. I didn’t do that, nor would I suggest it for my children.

4. I think potential dates should find other ways to meet up w/out resorting to car rentals. The costs will be prohibitive.

5. You’re a good man! Thank you.

6. Ok, we got you!

   To anyone who is oisek btzorchei tzibur, do not lose hope from all the bashers on TLS! Including LSTA, bus companies, bus drivers, school owners, principals, store owners etc. We know you are working your hearts out for the benefit of the klal with little or no recognition We appreciate all your efforts!!!

7. What you are saying is correct. The question asked was are you taking the negative side effects into consideration? Are you looking at the bigger picture of life?
   This question gets asked to every organization that helps poor people. Not sick, dysfunctional, mental health, or infertility. Specifically poor.
   There is a bigger picture. That’s all.

   • When the Torah talks about Tzudka it references a poor person. Not a sick, dysfunctional, mental health or infertility.
     I’m not saying that they aren’t a worthy causes.
     Keep in mind,
     The Torah is the biggest picture.

     We don’t have to make calculations for hashem. If Hashem wanted, there wouldn’t be a poor person in the world. So what ever people are afraid about helping poor people recognize it’s not in their court.

     • Chazal actually learn from the pasuk that you should help him get married. Asher Yechsar Lo- Lo Zu Isha. Noble organization.

8. Keep up the good work don’t take anybody’s flack. Enjoy your free advertisement. And think the last person for having bad judgment, so you can have more publicity?

9. Beautiful Beautiful! Ashrecha!!

   • What about the girls
     It’s also expensive

10. Love this!

11. Kol Hakovod & Hatzlocha Rabbah

    I had never heard of this organization before but it sounds really top notch

12. I thought that there’s a shidduch crisis: in that case they can just walk around lake Carosaljo a bit and sit down on a bench ( and put his hat between them) and she could see if he’s a nice normal, eidel, good learning boy of which she will take him in a minute. Why do Bachurim have to go through all the trouble of fancy clothing, spending money, cars etc for a date.

    When I met my wife on the 1st date in 1985 it was my 1st time going to Lakewood I was a new driver driving a 5 speed stick-shift, no gps, no cell phones , I got lost and I arrived at 10pm instead of 8pm.

    The 2nd date she guided me to Belmar Beach turn by turn ( Bais Kaila was in Belmar) and we collected sea shells on a winter night.

    The 3rd date she guided me to Carvel Ice Cream ( now Rita’s) on W County Line & Brewers Bridge ( they were open in the winter) I bought ice creams for $1 and I proposed.

    Round Trip from Boro Park to Lakewood than was way under $5 for Tolls & Gas.

    You see how much I spent on dates; but after we were engaged, I showed her my self-made wealth ( really hashems doing) . I came to Lakewood once a week and every time I came, I brought her a piece of jewelry, which was not hundreds but thousands even in those days.

    • It sounds like someone like you can really have benefitted from such an organization. As well as can benefit from seeing a phycologist. You don’t sound like a healthy person but may you be able to get the help you need.

      • It sounds like the way a Ben Torah should date. In a Kosher way, without unnecessary wasted expenses. BTW, this is what’s done around the world by Bnei torah. Al over Europe as well as in Eretz Yisroel.

    • It sounds like someone like you can really have benefitted from such an organization. As well as can benefit from seeing a phsycologist. You don’t sound like a healthy person but may you be able to get the help you need.

    • Just gas and tolls. Now would cost 50 dollars and a car rental would cost 75 at least unless your rich enough to have your own so as someone who uses this gemach it’s extremely useful and all your complaints are against the system with it had no part in creating so change the system and make the gemach go out of business if you like but your attacks against it are misguided. A buchor in shidduchim. P.S. I ask a rebbi who is very involved in many shidduchim (boys and girls and parents all call him so if your going to say he doesn’t know what he’s talking about he knows the system a lot better than any clown posting on here) out using a car service for dating and he said not to because the girls will think that something is wrong with you if your not driving so go get your daughters priorities straightened out and yes dating is quite expensive

    • Mabrouck for you, Mutty.

13. Rav Noach Weinberg: when someone sets out to do something people say he will fail. When he is a bit successful they say, “we knew he would be successful.”
    When he is really successful people say, “I could do it better. “

14. Keep it up Elimelech!!! Don’t listen to the haters!

15. Nice idea but one practical question. If a Bachur is unable to afford a relatively inexpensive date, how does he expect to afford starting a family? Should that be his primary consideration?

    • Part of the problem with todays life style.

    • I fully understand the point that youre making. If he can’t afford to date, how will he afford to support a wife??
      Let me explain:
      Many of whom we help are bachurim sitting in yeshiva and learning. The girls they are dating are generally working, and looking forward to support a husband in Kollel (those are the only shidduchim they will listen to, so clearly it’s what they want!) Bez”h after their marriage, between her job and his Kollel stipend that he will begin receiving, they will get through the month (with tremendous mesiras nefesh, which I’m sure we all admire!)
      But at the current stage of their lives, their parents are the ones footing the bill while they sit in yeshiva (if you don’t like that either, then your issue is with the whole yeshiva system, above my paygrade 😊). These are families that struggle to put food on the table, the added stress of the dating costs does not bode well for them. Even though it’s their first priority and they find the money for it, those funds come at the expense of other very important necessities.

      • With all do respect, a working girl isn’t going to support much in the long run. The concept is wonderful, but it doesn’t resolve any long term financial issues.

        • It’s been working for quite a while in lkwd

          • Really? Do you realize how many in Lakewood are struggling with day to day expenses? Rely vastly on organizations and others to pay for basic needs?

        • So, should they not get married?

        • You must have learned that from personal experience. Had you instead pursued a professional career you would have correctly spelled all DUE respect

16. In my comment yesterday, I failed to thank the initiator of the tzedaka. It’s a noble idea.
    I still maintain the trappings aren’t necessary.
    If we look at how marriages are being built after the investment of money into dating, we might have to also understand that emphasis on the wrong things or secondary things is being expended. Hashem sees all pure hearted efforts though. Tizku L’Mitzvos.

    • I’m not sure what you mean. There’s nothing fancy going on. Merely basic expenses, like transportation, gas, tolls etc

      • It’s extremely fancy compared to the dating process of Bnei Torah in Europe and Eretz Yisroel.

        • You can’t compare it. They have transportation systems that lkwd doesn’t have.

          • It’s not just about transportation. It’s the entirety of the process. Plus it’s done the same way in Europe as well. Dating as Bnei Torah shouldn’t be about the gashmiyus side of the date. in those parts of the world, they keep it simple. No expensive outings. And it’s not just the cost of a car rental. it’s the actual date that costs money as well. Why the need for a car, gas, tolls and a $200 dinner. You can’t order pizza on a date, obviously, so it ramps up the cost. There is no reason Bnei Torah and Bnos yisroel looking for a Ben Torah should need the extravagant date.

        • The world today is not the world we used to live in. We are not in Europe anymore, and those who are in Europe now also spend more on date than I’m those years ago. Wake up buddy, it’s 2024.

17. Just wondering how much was raised by the original negative letter?? I hope it was a lot!!

18. Elimelech, I was one of those people, many years ago , who didnt have a penny to date, I borroweded cars and a shirt and tie and had to rely on charity just to get the tolls to manhattan. I wish there was your organization back then . kudos to what you do . And to all those who are do concerned how are thes guys gonna get married? Dont worry about it , theres a Gd in the world and somehow theyll figure it out togther with his wife

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