When we invest so much into our children’s chinuch — tuition, time, tefillos — we assume that the core values being taught are not just Torah and Gemara but also compassion, inclusion, and sensitivity. We hope the educators, the Rebbeim and teachers, will teach our children how to love one another, how to respect each other, and how to embrace those who may live a little differently.
Sadly, that’s not always the case.
About a month ago, I made a Bar Mitzvah for my son. Like many in Lakewood, we followed the unspoken rules, no classmates at the night event to avoid jealousy, but for Shabbos they were able to attend.
My son was so excited for his Shabbos Kiddush. We had plenty of space in our home and he invited a large number of boys to sleep over, eager to celebrate this special milestone with his friends.
We set up the whole basement. We prepared beds, food, everything. We were also hosting my siblings, their children, and my mother. It was meant to be a full house of joy and simcha.
About an hour before Shabbos, most of the boys still had not arrived. My son, growing increasingly anxious, began calling them one by one. And slowly, painfully, the truth unfolded: each boy said they weren’t coming. Their parents wouldn’t allow it. Not one of them had the courtesy or courage to call ahead. My son had to find out himself, just minutes before shabbos.
He was devastated.
I decided to call the Rebbe to ask if he knew what had happened. After dancing around the answer, he finally admitted: a few parents had called him to ask whether it was okay to send their sons to sleep over in our home because I’m divorced. Because there wouldn’t be a father present. And what did he tell them?
“I said I can’t vouch for you.”
This, after he taught three of my older sons. This, after seeing the kind of home I built, the kind of children I raised — boys in top yeshivos, a daughter in a top seminary, a home filled with Torah and yiras Shamayim.
I asked him why he hadn’t simply picked up the phone to ask me what my plans were, who would be there, how we were setting things up. His answer: “I didn’t think of that.”
I’m sure he feels bad now. But the pain, the humiliation, the heartbreak, that was my son’s to carry. At the age of 13, he learned a lesson I wish he never had to learn: sometimes, the people we look to as role models are the very ones who fail us.
If this is the chinuch system, what are we teaching our children?
If a child from a divorced home, or from any non-cookie-cutter background, is automatically seen as “less,” what does that say about our values?
If inclusion, empathy, and dignity are not being modeled by the very educators tasked with shaping our children’s souls, then how can we hope for Moshiach?
Until we start embracing every child, every type of home, and until we start leading with compassion instead of fear and judgment, we are failing our children. And we are failing our future.
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If I was the Menahel, I would fire that Rebbe !!!!
I don’t believe a word of the story, firstly nobody would do something so horrible , secondly TLS is in the business of clickbait.
Good luck in la-la land
These things happen sadly
If he didn’t have the decency and respect to call the parent then maybe he is in the wrong field. How will this child return to school ? How can he trust a rebbi like this anymore?
I am so sorry and ashamed this happened!
This is so heartbreaking, so painful, so devastating and just plain awful. My heart breaks for your son, and for you and your family. There are just no words to explain this.
Did any boys come?? Please tell me yes, I really hope so.
Horrible and unacceptable. This man should not be in chinuch. Period. Please dont tell me it’s hashkafa based. Its more mental illness related. He needs to be held accountable for his actions. This cant continue. Divorce parents have better homes in many situations. Shfichas Damim.
According to big rabbanim “”The tzura (rules and regulations and following suit) of a classroom is more important than anything else given over in cheder so if that is the case than you can understand now why the rebbi is in chinuch.
This is terrible! Too many times people end up causing more pain from weakness and hesitancy than they do by the original action itself. Kind of a spinoff on nebach an apikoires is oich an apikoires.
Unfortunately, disgusting people calling themselves Rabbi’s is not a new thing in our society!
The Rebbi goofed. Granted. But where were the parents of the boys? Was there not one with a tiny bit of sensitivity? Still, I absolutely believe this can happen because I have seen similar situations.
My guess is that this so-called “Rebbe” is totally untrained and unqualified. He is probably the son or son-in-law of the owner of the Yeshiva or a big Gvir.
While I think what happened is extremely painful I’m not sure that your seeing it correctly. I would not allow my son to attend somebody’s home for a full Shabbos Bar Mitzvah whether they were two parents or one parent. It has nothing to do with divorce. My bar mitzvah aged children do not sleep out of their own home for Shabbos. Yes the boys should have called there should have been an open communication but it’s not necessarily about a divorce. Haven’t said that I’m sad that you were hurt. It isnt nice.
The whole reason they backed out was because there was no father in the house not because the parents didn’t let maybe read it again!
If that is the case, the boys would have told the Bar Mitzvah Bochur that they cannot come in the first place. Obviously, since he was expecting them, they had already accepted the invitation. It is not just the Rebbe that showed terrible judgement and middos, the parents of each boy did as well.
You are missing the point. It was the whole class. They normally do sleep over. Here no-one showed u0.
I’m sorry, but why are you so protective over your children that you don’t allow them to sleep out of the house? I don’t think that’s so healthy! If you know where they’re going and with what friends they’re spending the Shabbos, than it’s a great experience for them and you should encourage it!!!
Basic courtesy is for you or your son to call that they will not be attending.
Did you even read the letter or did you just write your stupid ignorant comment first.
There are no words for such man made pain
I am so sorry to read this. Widows and yesomim are treated with compassion, yet children in such a situation deserve an extra measure of rachmones too. We should share more simchas with you in the future and not drive the knife deeper.
Ouch!
That is so so painful!!
That is horrible I feel terrible for your son! Unfortunately it’s things like this that kids never forget I hope the rebbi realizes the pain that he caused by being so passive.
This is so painful to read. I’m so sorry. I hope your son is able to have a very happy life with lots of friends who make him feel great about himself.
Did the Rebbe feel badly enough to ask for Mechilah from your son? What about the parents of the boys? That may go some of the way to rectifying the situation.
Oy. That sounds horrible and so painful. I am sorry you had to go through that. May you have much simcha and nachas from him and all your children, mitoch harchavas hadaas.
This story is unbelievably sad!
Can you PLEASE call the menahel and discuss this with him.
Even if there is truth that he “can’t vouch for you” this was so wrong.
This is a one – off!
This should not have you shift your and your children’s paradigm against authority.
I’m sure most Rabbeim are not like this.
As it is this child feels different than his other friends and was probably itching to have his friends over and enjoy a nice shabbos together.
the rebbe is wrong by not communicating with the mother and setting up a situation where boys could have attended the shabbos. It’s cowardly that this situation became so painful for the bar mitzva boy and his family. It’s a cowardly thing that the rebbe could not see that this child is going through a lot and he could have made his simcha so much greater by figuring out a way to make it work. And to the parent that doesn’t allow her child to go away for shabbos – that’s your choice but it seems like it’s a normal thing for bar mitzva boys to host their friends for a shabbos so this obviously happened before and boys were allowed to go. This should not have happened! The rebbe needs to apologize and figure out a way to make this better!
The Rebbe and the Talmidim should collectively give this Bar Mitzvah Bochur a substantial gift and request his mechila. You can’t always change the past, but perhaps there’s a way to repair some of the damage done. This would be an important lesson too.
And this is why so many people choose to stay in painful abusive marriages… because people think that home is more safe, more stable, more reliable than the beautiful healthy Torah home some single parents manage to build.
Sad world we live in.
This Rebbi needs to ask mechila. I hope he sees your post.
It was a mistake. But mistakes need mechila too.
And he should ask each boy that didnt call to apologize as well and make it up to the boy that was hurt by throwing him a new party!
Forget about the rebbi. Can these mothers explain how they let a single mother work tirelessly cooking and setting up beds and all for nothing? That alone is mind blowing.
You’re right, I truly can’t understand it. If a couple of mothers would do this-we know there are always some insensitive people. But how could a whole group of mothers could act this way??
im going to guess that the kids never actually accepted the invite, it was just assumed that they would come. In that case the onus isn’t on the other parents. The rebbe, knowing that his words to a few parents would spread to the whole class, should have made sure that mom and son knew and he should have figured out a better way. Nebach I feel terrible for your son. May this help him learn to have compassion and empathy that he acts on to smooth the way for others, and not turn him cynical and angry.
This story is very painful but let’s try to be dan lekaf zechus the Rebbi. In today’s upsidedown world, a Rebbi may feel uncomfortable taking achrayos vouching for boys staying at someone’s home, divorced or not. I doubt he realized that no one would show up.
This was a one off mistake, a big mistake, but it doesn;t take a away the three years of daily goodness he did teaching your children. I don’t think this story should have been publicized with all the details since this is shaming the Rebbi before his class.
Being Dan Lekaf Zechus with your son will make it easier for him to process this painful episode & put it behind him.
May you see tremendous nachas from your family.
Whatever this Rebbe does, he is taking acharayus.
Why did he think that allowing the boys to go there was an ‘achrayus’, but ruining someone’s Shabbos was not?
Furthermore, ruining the Shabbos was a וודאי, the ‘dangers’ of the home of a divorced woman is, at best, a ספק. Yet the ספק won, against our Gemara that says אין ספק מוציא מידי וודאי.
Even if the Rebbe is an am haaretz, he should know that from דף יומי recently.
Have you never made a mistake in your life? We learn from our mistakes! Do you know everything else that might have been going on in the Rebbi’s life at that time? A person devoted to educating our children doesn’t deserve to be tarred & feathered for one mistake.
Never judge someone before hearing the other side of the story.
This is terrible. Absolutely no reasoning can excuse this. I would love to send this kid a bar mitzvah gift to show that some people care about him. Can TLS facilitate this?
yes, can TLS set up an address where we can all send this boy gifts?
Terribly sorry for all the pain at a time of a huge milestone/simcha! This story needs to be made public for all to take a lesson.
I feel bad for the family. “Common sense is not so common”- is so true in this particular case. You don’t need a master degree to understand that if someone invited you for Shabbos and circumstances changed and you can’t come, you need to notify the family… Hope the ines responsible realize the extent of their mistake and make up for it.
Ones*
The rebbe has hadracha from Das Torah as he is kley kodesh. We can NEVER question Das Torah under any circumstances.
Of course never question Das Torah, however just because he is kley kodesh doesn’t mean he asked das torah for advice how to deal with this.
Korach and shabsi Tzvi were also Rabbanim
Where’s you get that from??
This is so naive and unbelievable. True das Torah would never approve humiliating a child. Let alone the loshon hora. If the rebbi could not vouch for the family he could have found the name of a reputable rabbi that could. This isn’t FRUM! It’s despicable
The mother of this barmitzvah boy is also a kley kodesh, so she too has hadracha from daas torah.
Sheesh!
Yanky, what you have just wrote is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent comment were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on this page is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may G-D have mercy on your soul.
While the rebbi likely intended to be neutral, his response of being “unable to vouch for the family” projects a negative undertone.
A more appropriate response to inquiring parents would have been “they’re a great family – if you’re uncomfortable you should do your own research”.
Such a decision should be for each parent to make – a Rebbi destroying a young boy’s self esteem on one of the most joyous occasions of is life would be a fireable offense in my Moisad.
Not to mention the fact that no-one called in advance?That’s on every parent individually and points to a self centered issue that is quite rampant in our community.
Gone is the simple decency to appreciate the work someone put into something.
Gone are the days of proper chinnuch – from Rabbeim AND parents.
As a divorced parent and the father of a son who had his Bar Mitzvah a few years ago, my heart goes out to you. Nobody can truly understand what children from divorced homes go through. They need extra love and attention.
Only Hashem can provide you and your son with the strength to move forward.
I hope you experience tremendous nachas from this child and your other children as well!our other children as well!our other children as well!our other children as well!our other children as well!our other children as well!
I am in awe of how this letter was written. the pain and devastation in the letter is tremendous, yet the middos and dignity that you, the mother posses is just as equally tremendous. As i write this with tears in my eyes, my hope and bracha to you is that your tremendous middos and all the koach you invest in your wonderful bar mitzvah bachur will be able to carry him past this tremendous pain and may you find the strength to overcome the tremendous tzar that you are experiencing as well. May you be zoche to only nachas from all of your children and may you continue to have the koach to raise them in the wonderful way that you are.
Wow
i feel terrible for you and your son
shame on the rebbe he needs to find a new line of work
shame in the parents who do not have basic decency to call and say their kids won’t be coming
poor display of judgement and middos all around
Even better than calling to say they aren’t coming-they should have come!-instead of treating the boy and his family like they have some communicable disease ch”v.
It seems like everyone is in agreement (including the Rebbe) that he made a mistake. The question is what happened next. I will be melamed zechus, which we are required to do, and assume the Rebbe apologized to the mother and the boy by now and is working on some way to make it right as best as he can. These comments, like fire the Rebbe, etc., must be from people who have never made a mistake in their lives. But not everyone is a malach, not even every great Rebbe. The mother writes that the Rebbe taught her other sons, and she was ok having him again, so he obviously isn’t making poor judgment calls on a regular basis. I’m sure he’s a great person and a great Rebbe who made an awful mistake and, like the Gemara says, likely did teshiva by the next morning.
I am also divorced. I feel your pain and I’m sorry.
such a sad story.
but why wouldn’t the rebbe vouch for a parent just because they’re divorced??
i come from an extremely yeshivish lakewood back round and literally have no idea why in the world parents would even call a rebbe to “vouch” for parents who are divorced more then for parents that are together.
from the way this letter is written it sounds like every kid in the class’s parent called the rebbe specifically in this case. am i missing something? very very odd.
She states “a few” parents called. No where does it say ” everyone.” But the “few” passed the word around.
first of all everyone can say what they want but when u come to be facing something like this u might find preaching is one thing and practicing is another. no this is not saying what the rebbi said is right its just another perspective. a rebbi is considered a father and im sure he only wanted whats best for his talmidim. i dont think he worded it right but who am i to judge a rebbi in his position. the parents should at least called ahead and i dont think they did the right thing but every story has two sides and i think they and the rebbi should be contacted
i feel your pain, im sorry you had to go thru this, may Hashem bless you with much nachas from your children
Reading this letter saddened me terribly, but every comment out there has been made so there’s no need to add anything except to say that from reading your letter I’m in awe of what type of mother you are. As you write in your letter; you have BH 3 boys learning in top yeshivos and a daughter in a top seminary, that itself is remarkable and obviously speaks to what an amazing mother you are. From what you describe in the letter of the type of Shabbos/Bar – Mitzvah you were pulling off, the amount of people you were expecting gives us a sense of just what an amazing person you are… ready to do it all for your children.
I just hope your son is doing well and my brocho to you is; may the RSO give your son all that he’ll ever need in life easily and may he be a prince amongst us men!
Horrific! Disgusting rebbi. Should be fired. In 10 years when this delicious boy needs therapy tell this rebbi to pay for it!
I am in tears from this letter. I have absolutely no words. How heartbreaking. Please Hashem, look down at your precious children who suffered so much and had such a terrible bizayon and please let this be the end of their suffering and may they only have tremendous bracha in their lives. I have no words. I am so pained for you and your family.
Out of curiosity, I’m wondering do you send your teenage daughter a divorced man’s home? Send your kid on vacation with him?
Everyone knows the actual scenario being discussed is completely and totally different than this.
I am so so sorry this happened to you.
A principal caused my child, and by extension me, tremendous pain this week as well. I cried so much, I felt physically ill. This is an olam Hasheker.
May you only see nachas from your children.
Comments can be closed. We get the picture! May Hashem comfort all, the child, the mother, and the rebbe
What a twisted reply. Are you divorced? Did this happen to you/your son? There pain is infinite.
You were not the one deeply hurt and you were BH not on the receiving end of having to watch the intense pain and embarrassment of your son on a day that should have been his happiest. So, it is easy for you to say “comments can be closed”. Put yourself in this mother’s shoes for one second. Feel her son’s pain and embarrassment a memory that will last a life time.
When you are able to for one second truly feel their pain I wonder if you would still say ” comments can be closed”!!
If you can try and feel for one minute this mother’s pain watching her son’s embarrassing pain and deep disappointment. On what should have been the happiest day. And, the painful memory he will always remember of his Bar Mitzva. If this was your child would you also say “comments can be closed”. It is BH not your pain so it is easy to say “comments can be closed”. Would you feel the same way if Chas vshalom this happened to your son CV?
Try to feel for one minute this mother’s pain watching her son’s deep disappointment and painful embarrassment on a day that should have been one of his happiest. Think for one minute how you would feel in her shoes. Would you still say ” comments can be closed”? When it is someone else’s pain it is easy to say “comments can be closed”.
Difficult to feel another’s pain. People should be allowed to express their empathy. No reason to close the comments. You do not have to read them. If you are uncomfortable then do not continue reading the comments. People want to express their empathy with this mother and her son.
“May Hashem comfort all..and the rebbe.” This child and mother were caused intense humiliation through a rebbe (among others), and you word it this way??
The Rebbe was right! He has a professional responsibility to the children and could not take it on based on hopes and assumptions, ALL SLEEPOVERS SHOULD BE BANNED. We are no longer living in that world that was. The Rebbe is not a throwback, he is living in today’s times. Mother is wonderful and hopefully should see none of the problems that lurk out there in her own home. Hashem saved her through that Rebbe who did what was expected of him, she was saved from a potential issue. may we all see only the good, speak positive, and merit only nachas.
See my response to Yanky above, it applies to you too.
My parents didn’t let me go to sleepovers period, but if someone does which is most people then they can’t just single out this boy. My mother has walked my brother to the kiddush for many friends bar mitzvahs. The parents could’ve walked their sons back and forth to at least show they’re part of his simcha.
Mazel Tov on his becoming Bar Mitzvah
May he (and you) be zocheh that they say about him, “Ashrei Yoladeto” “Lucky is the one who bore him”
Unfortunately if this woman says anything to the school chances are her son will get the brunt of her frustrations. No school wants to be told their rebbeim aren’t good. Think long term and smart you didn’t give a clue as to the school. Just suck it in and move forward.
This is so painful.
I have never heard of this minhag of boys from the class sleeping over for a bar mitzvah as ita not done in my community, but if indeed the class slept over by every other boy in the class, this is truly horrible.
It’s horrific for him that he should be rejected and horrific for you as his mother to see him go through this. I have a one year old grandson whose parents are no longer married to each other and every time I see him I feel for him that he’ll most likely face these types of stories.
This is such a painful story. May your son thrive and succeed with great blessings in his life ahead. May Hashem bring you and your family only Simcha
Amazing how everyone reads a letter here and sided with the writer.. this is indeed sad. But how can you be so quick to side with one if you don’t even know the full story… my heart goes out for anyone in pain. But do we really know all the facts?
It’s empathy, not necessarily saying that the rebbe should have answered differently. He should have acted differently though- if he couldn’t give a wholehearted endorsement, he should have made sure that mom knew about this- in a sensitive way- so that her son didn’t have to suffer the way he did. The feelings of the bar mitzva boy should have been first and foremost in his mind- that is not to say that he should have answered any differently, he just should have realized the repercussions of his answer and tried to soften them for his talmid
I am so sorry this happened to your son and to you. I am literally crying. It must have been so painful. This is a huge milestone and a special time and the fact that this happened breaks my heart. 😥
Can someone create a link to purchase this boy a nice bar mitzvah gift? I would be glad to give, this boy deserves something special to try to make up for the pain he went through. This is a frum boy, already in a difficult situation, who went through tremendous agmas nefesh
This is how it starts. The Rebbe and some parents read stories about the Brisker Rav, who was so careful about his children’s friends. Or he read an article somewhere about boys who were molested once.
Instead of understanding that these stories were not typical and were part of a context, he understood them with knuckleheaded simplicity. The Brisker Rav’s care for people whom society had ignored was not part of his story. The millions of children who have sleepovers and are not molested are ignored. The houses with fathers where the fathers are the ones who make the problems did not reach him.
The problem here is the small-mindedness and relying on childish stories to reach a decision.
(If this story happened as written, these words are true. I wouldn’t judge hearing one side.)
As a son to divorced parents I have just one question to you:
How did you and your son treat your ex husband during the divorce and during the Simcha?!
Why in heaven’s name is that any of your business???
Because of this letter, it’s now everyone’s business.
Very sad that some Rebbeim are ignoramuses.
My heart aches for your family. Shame on those who didn’t show common courtesy and shame on the Rabbi who lost a perfect positive moment to teach. Your letter is beautifully written. You deserved far more than you received.
You mentioned that you had siblings come over and staying as well. So there are men. There is a story told that a melamed came to a tzaddik in Jerusalem. The tzaddik asked him.why did you give your student 2 smacks if he only did one thing wrong? The melamed had no response. The tzaddik answered him one smack you gave for what the Talmud did wrong The second for you didn’t get paid and tomorrow you have to pay your mortgage. The teacher answered correct… the tzaddik answered if you would have gone with Hashemi lowered yourself and given the Talmid a huge you would have changed his world 365 degrees and forever!!! Someone who went through it and bh has a zechus to help children and adults overcome their education experiences. Besoros tovas with much ❤️
Please take time our of your so called busy chesed or working and let you children and spouse feel how much you love appreciate and thank Hashem for you having them. If I won’t give love appreciation and support to my children then who will give the love appreciation and support to my grandchildren!!!
Don’t believe everything you read.
My sister is divorced and when her twins were Bar Mitzva the school suggested just that…a sleepover shabbos.
And if true and the Rebbe made a mistake bec perhaps his house is busy (new baby….) then dont play the blame game
DODNT WE ALL BEG FOR MOSHIACH 2 DAYS AGO?!!!??!?!?
The Haftorah of Shabbos Chazon tells us that B’nei Yisroel were so careful about Korbanos but they had no care for the Yasom, Almanah and Ger. We have not learned our lesson. All of the Torah we learn is wasted if Toras Chesed is not on our Lashonos. It is tragic that we continue to sin.
maybe it has nothing to do with the divorce. maybe the rebbi simply doesn’t know your house. would you want the anyone to reassure you that somewhere is safe if they have no knowledge about it. teaching 3 of your sons doesnt make him know. it would be irresponsible for the rebbi to vouch for you- the parents need to figure out who theyre comfortable sending to by speaking to people who actually know the families.
the rebbi did the responsible thing by not taking responsibility for something he shouldn’t have. how woul you like if the rebbi reassured you that a married couples house is safe and then kid got molested by fellow classmates or someone in the family. the rebbi cant responsibly take responsibility.
its on the parents to make the decision’stop assuming all rebbeim have bad intentions
As Frum Jews, we need to step back before we rush to judgment. We only know one side of the story.
We also are Maaminim & believe that everything that happens in our lives is for our good. Hashem sent a tremendous Nisayon to this Boy & his mother, & as painful as it is, Hashem knows that it is for their ultimate good; otherwise, it wouldn’t have happened.
Instead of bashing the Rebbi, let’s think of ways how we can be more accepting & understanding of others. It’s so easy to knock others for their mistakes; it’s much harder to improve ourselves.
We are the ones who should take this story to heart & work on our Bein Odom Lachaveiro.
What does Torah umesorah teach the teachers in such cases?
The premise of this writer is wrong. Lakewood has NEVER been the model of “inclusion dignity and empathy”. Lakewood is an ir hatorah where we promote one mitzvah called limud hatorah.
To the dear mother
I am happy to hear that all your children are doing great. From the thousands of TLS we all support you. Hashem is taking care of you.
Can we get a response from the Rebbe? I think it would be beneficial to hear what he has to say to try to defend his actions.
Could be the rebbi knows the boys father better than the mother. Probably in good schools because pays full tuition. Yes this is sad. Children these days are taught more bshvili nivra haolam and less derech eretz for all living things. Hence the chaos in cars where kids are not properly belted in, lack of reflectors, garbage all over. If this is an iyr kodesh shouldn’t we be treating it with kadosh?
Maybe, just maybe there is more to this story . Maybe their us much much more to this story. Let me clue you in. Imagine if I told you the mother is on Facebook and chat all day. And the rebbe is aware of it.
Yes this letter was the “hock” in my bungalow colony yesterday and I had not seen it. Everyone right away felt terrible for this woman and boy as it’s terrible they were hurt in this way. However, and not to take away from their hurt, I right away pointed out that there MUST be more to this story. It’s unbelievable how people read a story and are so excited to bash the other side. Do you have ANY idea who this lady is, who the boy is, why the Rebbi couldn’t vouch for them, or maybe just had no idea and didn’t get the full story himself about what the boys plans were…? Maybe two parents called and made it sound like only these kids were invited so without understanding the full picture or knowing it would be many boys just gave a neutral response?? Very likely one or two parents called and asked for their own son if it was ok and he had no idea there were more kids in this picture. He is definitely not responsible for the boys acting in such a unmentchlich way and not letting the BM boy know they wouldn’t be coming. I’m also not sure why this lady jumped to say it has to do with the fact that she is divorced. There could be 100 other reasons the rebbi responded this way. Anonymity is great- we have no clue who this lady is, who the rebbi is, the full story or anything else and everyone jumps and takes sides!!!
I’m really sorry for you and your son. It’s incredibly heartbreaking for you both. And it’s also so disheartening to know that something like this happens in our community. I think as frum yidden we’ve lost our way sadly. Looking at our society today is like seeing what chazal described as the society that brought on churban bayis shaini. This story is like a modern day kamtza and bar kamtza. I hope the rebbe begs you and your son for forgiveness. And that all of the parents in the class have their children do whatever possible to lessen the damage they’ve done.
Absolutely horrible 😞