Letter: A breach in Tznius

There’s something I want to bring to the attention of my fellow readers.

Dressing up for Purim is a beautiful thing. It’s a Minhag going back many years, and should not be abolished.

However, in past years, I have seen an increasing number of women who have joined their families in dressing up on Purim. I truly believe this is a breach in Tznius.

Even if wearing a completely Tzniusdig costume, costumes in nature draw attention, thereby being Machsil men in the process.

Please be mindful to those looking to maintain a high level of Tznius during the Yom Tov.

Thank you.

A simple Balabus.

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  1. I personally think that of you have such an issue with a woman participating in the Chag as her and her family see fit means there is something lacking in YOU and not in them. I love seeing families enjoying the chag bsimcha as it should be and if you don’t want to see other women outside then you can stay within the safety of your home for Purim.

  2. There’s no family without any tzuris; but I noticed that wife’s and families with good tznius practices have good kids, solid marriages, parnassa etc.

  3. On this day, when everyone dresses up, it is normal and not attention grabbing for women to dress up. The costume should obviously be tznius.
    It’s your achrayus to keep your eyes where they belong.

  4. Totally agree with writer.
    If you look at the women who dress up they are either young and still immature or they are old and think they are still young- more immature.
    Any respectable adult doesnt put on a full costume!

    • any respectable adult would mean men as well according to you?? or just women because according to you they arent allowed to have fun? also may i point out that any respectable adult doesnt get smashed drunk either so why dont we just cancel purim altogether acc to you?

  5. Agreed full out costume is lacking in tznius, this applies to high school girls too. In my opinion it’s ok to throw on a cap or a t shirt that matches the theme ( I personally would not) but not an all out costume.

  6. I am a woman and I always wear something special for Purim, not a full blown costume, but, maybe a funny hat or sheitel. I only deliver shalach monos to my family and woman friends. I consider myself a tzniusdik person in all ways.

  7. hey Hey!!!

    A person points out problems that they have or things they like

    I think here its both

    learn about shmieras eniaim and learn about minding your own business.

  8. halevai the top tznius issue of this better than thou chashuva city keep your eyes where they belong in a mussar sefer or get other help if needed dont be too frum my friend thats not what hashem wants have a happy purim sit in bais medrash all day orah zu torah and you wont chas vshalom see my wife in her bais yaakov uniform costume

  9. The point of dressing up is not that people should admire your costume (this goes for men as well). The point is because it’s a minhag to dress up on Purim (several reasons given, one being that the neis of purim was nistar, so too we hide ourselves). That being said, what is wrong if a woman dresses up? The minhagim of Purim apply to women as well. She’s not doing it to attract attention

  10. agreed with Goofy. Stop getting urself and bochrim smashed drunk. do something abt urself. If a woman is tznius and dressed up with her kids theres 1000% no problem with that. Find and tackle real problems in lakewood.

  11. I have a bigger problem with women who have part of their real hair showing with the shaitel sitting further back on the head, lace top and long shaitlach, fake eyelashes, halos, skirts coming right to the knee or very long, nail polish, heavy makeup, tight clothing….it’s all out there and all are hashkafic issues, not outright halachic issues. You see these things every day so whatever you do to avoid seeing them then, do the same when you see a woman in a costume and understand that we are a nation with different hashkafos and minhagim with lots of grey areas and what might be right for one is wrong for another

  12. In Lakewood and most large Jewish communities we have Robbanim for a reason. If you aren’t a Rav, Rabbia ect… you have no business what so ever telling an entire community what’s right and wrong in Judaism.

  13. If you can ‘gook’ at this female while in a costume I’m sure you can ‘gook’ at her without her costume on Yom Tov or Shabbos when she gets made up L’kovod Shabbos and Yom Tov. Or may you just ‘gook’ at all women ??The issue seems to be on your end, unless you demand that no make up be used EVER under any circumstances AND you subscribe to FULL TIME ‘kol kevoodah….Penimah’ including but not limited to even answering a knock on her front door.
    You should also consider not leaving your home just in case you’ll get caught up ‘gooking’.

  14. Tznius is a sensitivity – to go all out and say a woman shouldn’t dress up at all is not the issue – a person needs to look at themselves and decide if they are attention grabbing – specifically in whatever they are wearing AND wherever they are going. (meaning same clothes may be appropriate in different places/circumstances and not others) that being said an adult woman dressing up fully – all day – wherever she goes – is an immature thing to do. sorry you will not find anyone with a real connection to Hashem who values tznius lifestyle and the Torah that is above the age of 20 who thinks its normal to be FULLY dressed up all day in public view…

    • what a dumb comment to say! if its immature for a woman to get dressed up bec of the dressing up idea than its immature for any adult male to do so as well. normally we dont get dressed up in costumes, on purim there is an inyan to do so. if you think its immature to get dressed up then you think that Purim itself is immature. is that what youre saying??

  15. to maskim #7.
    it is a minhag kodesh to dress up on purim. som people do it and some people don’t. if you want to live up tite that’s your business, don’t lecture the rest of us about self respecting adults. you are very condisending in your comments. did you learn that from your yeshiva, rav, or stooges oou know.

  16. I have a kasha. If a lady lo aleinu became a man, is he mikaem vinahopichu? Additionally if he dressed up like a lady, being mikaem ad di lo yoda, can I now look at this pretty lady or does he have to dress tznius as well?

    • shkoiach R’ Vinny for you very important shaila for todays times. Lchoira the answer to all these questions would be yes he/she would be yoitzy however the halachos of tznius will still apply and he cannot be counted for a minyan

  17. I think we all realize that this is a question that each individual should decide by asking their own das Torah. But even more important, is that we talk and treat each other respectfully, whether the topic is covid or tznius or anything else.

  18. This thread is frightening, especially a lot of the comments towards the bottom half. What has Lakewood, at one point the Ir HaTorah, come to?! I am being don lekaf zechus that a lot of the comments were not written by Lakewood residents.

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