It’s Motzei Shabbos Nachamu, and the lively music is going strong as the band is playing the all-time favorites. The crowd is dancing joyously until the wee hours of the night. However, something needs to be addressed. There seems to be a contradiction here.
Picture this scenario. A family just lost their beloved parent r”l and they sit through a week of shiva, shedding copious tears. After the shiva is over, the family gets up and they start singing and dancing for hours. I think everyone will agree that this family has gone way overboard.
But isn’t that exactly what we are doing?
We just went through the three weeks of mourning and Tisha B’av. Chazal teach us that certain parts of Tisha B’av even have the status of מתו מוטל לפניו. This means that the intensity of our Aveilus is supposed to be as if the deceased has not been buried yet. The reason given is based on the Chazal כל דור שלא נבנה בימיו כאילו נחרבה. Every year there is a fresh Aveilus. So how can we celebrate so soon after, when the Bais Hamikdash has not been rebuilt and the Shechina and Klal Yisroel are still deep in this dark Galus?
Shabbos Nachamu begins the time known as the שבעה דנחמתא. I once heard an amazing observation. When a person loses a loved one r”l he needs seven days of Nechama, but for the Bais Hamikdash, we need at least seven weeks of Nechama. If so, the question gets even stronger, because based on this we are still in the weeks of Shiva, so how can we celebrate with music in a time like this?
Hagaon Rav Moshe Sorotzkin shlit”a asks even further. If you look in the Gemara (בבא בתרא ס), you will see that Chazal ultimately wanted to ban all pleasures during this Galus, as long as the Bais Hamikdash is still lying in ruins. However, they realized that they can’t make a gezeira that most of Klal Yisroel cannot abide to, so they refrained. If that’s the case, how can we get up, dance and sing right after Tisha B’av?
Tisha B’av after Chatzos – We would like to point out something astonishing (and if we are not astonished it’s because we have gotten used to this). On Tisha B’av at Chatzos, according to many, was the time that the Bais Hamikdash went up in flames. If that’s the case, how can it be that it’s at this time that we get up and sit on a chair? This is mind boggling.
Some people mistakenly think that essentially Tisha B’av begins tapering off at Chatzos. Some people may even start planning their trips or other plans. Some people go to sleep for the rest of the day. But this way of thinking is absolutely false and against halacha.
To illustrate how far this misconception can go, I once encountered a teenager who was playing music on Tisha B’av. When I confronted him, he innocently replied, “It’s after Chatzos”. Obviously that is pretty extreme, but I think you get the point. How tragic! Perhaps we should be sitting on the floor for seven weeks. So how do we understand all this?
Let’s explore two approaches to the concept of Nechama, and hopefully we will gain a deeper appreciation for this Shabbos Nachamu that so many of us are celebrating with great joy. Additionally, we will gain a better understanding of these seven weeks of the שבעה דנחמתא to better understand what is our Avoda during these weeks of Nechama.
When it comes to the three weeks Chazal gave us specific halachos that pave the way for our Aveilus. Yet when it comes to the שבעה דנחמתא, there aren’t any instructions, and this can make it difficult for people to tap into this awesome time of Nechama. Let’s explore, with Hashem’s help.
First approach: Let’s begin with a מאמר from Hagaon Reb Baruch Ber zt”l [and others as well]. The Mishna in Avos teaches us איזהו עשיר השמח בחלקו. Says Reb Baruch Ber, that this is not limited to Gashmiyus. This Mishna is referring to Ruchniyus, as well. Now this statement would seem very surprising to many.
We know that when it comes to Ruchniyus we need to have שאיפות, which would seem to imply that one should never be content and satisfied with one daf or one chessed. We should want more and more and more. We should have a drive to finish all of Shas, and we should have a drive to become huge “baalei chesed”. How then does this statement concur with שאיפות, which is the core essence of a Yid?
The answer given is as follows. אדרבא – It’s just the opposite. We need this midda of שמח בחלקו to have שאיפות. Let us explain. If someone eats a piece of cake and doesn’t enjoy it, he will not be seeking more, as will someone who enjoyed the cake.
Similarly, someone who has an appreciation for a mitzva and has joy from it will yearn for more mitzvos, as Chazal say שכר מצוה מצוה, but if one doesn’t have an appreciation for a mitzvah, he won’t be seeking to do more. Therefore, a person has to be joyous with every word of Torah, acknowledging the chashivus of Torah and realizing that every word of Torah is a gift from Hashem. Through this, a person will also have an endless urge to learn as much as he can and to master as many seforim as possible. The שאיפות will only come after one delights in Toras Hashem.
This is with regard to Torah and mitzvos, but it can apply to this time of year, as well. On Tisha B’av we sat on the floor and mourned over the destruction of יהדות which came about through the destruction of the Bais Hamikdash. Our connection with Hashem was severed tremendously as a result. There is a famous Gr”a that compares the Churban to Yetziyas Haneshama. According to this, it would seem that we are mourning over our death and Tisha B’av is our Yahrzeit r”l. Therefore, when Moshiach comes there will be a physical techiyas hameisim for the buried and a spiritual techias hameisim for us.
Says Rav Aron Kotler zt”l, mourning over the Bais Hamikdash means that we have שאיפות, because it shows that we are yearning to become the great people that we were in the time of the Bais Hamikdash. The Gr”a famously said that he can fathom the greatness of Tanaim, but he cannot fathom a regular Yid in the time of the Bais Hamikdash. This implies that we shouldn’t be satisfied with our little bit of Torah and mitzvos that we possess. We need to strive for greatness, and this is the Avoda of the Three Weeks.
However, at the same time, Chazal revealed to us through Dovid Hamelech that in the tragedy of our Churban there lays a great Nechama as well, and that is our very existence. Dovid Hamelech, when discussing the Churban says, מזמור לאסף instead of קינה לאסף. Chazal explain that if Hashem would not have destroyed the Bais Hamikdash, then He would have destroyed the Jewish people forever r”l.
Furthermore, Hashem didn’t merely spare us, but he gave us so much goodness in Galus, both in Ruchniyus and Gashmiyus, even though we weren’t deserving. Therefore, it goes without saying that every good thing that Hashem gives us in Galus is a cause for celebration. We cannot take anything for granted, and we need to be שמח בחלקו. This is our Nechama, as Dovid Hamelech says, זאת נחמתי בעניי.
Shabbos Nachamu – When the Shabbos after Tisha B’av arrives, there is an additional reason to celebrate, and this gives us a tremendous Nechama. The Chofetz Chaim (the Arizal as well) says that Shabbos Kodesh is a day that was not affected by the קללה of the עץ הדעת since Hashem gave Shabbos a bracha, as it says ויברך אלוקים את יום השביעי. Likewise, the Seforim say that Shabbos was not affected by the Churban.
The power of Shabbos is that it can imbue us with Kedusha in the darkest of times, even in the darkness of Galus. Therefore we can suggest that perhaps that’s why it got the name Shabbos Nachama, because Shabbos brings Nechama to the world. Perhaps we can say that just like the word Noach has the connotation of Nechama, as the passuk says, זה ינחמני, perhaps the words of וינח and מנוחה symbolize the Nechama that comes to the world with Shabbos.
Therefore, when Shabbos arrives right after Tisha B’av, we are extra joyous, because we feel the tremendous Nechama that Shabbos has to offer. So when Motzei Shabbos arrives, we celebrate with music and dancing, because it’s the Shabbos that holds us strong in the long bitter Galus.
Having said that, we can understand what the general Avoda of the weeks of the שבעה דנחמתא is: to focus on all the goodness that Hashem has bestowed upon us, despite our tremendous lack that we have in all areas of our life, as we explained. We recognize that although we have sinned and we find ourselves in Galus due to our many Aveiros, Hashem is still showing us His love by bestowing us with so much goodness, and we need to thank Hashem non-stop for all of this.
There is a story told that Reb Avigdor Miller Zt”l lost a grandchild while traveling to Eretz Yisroel. It’s told that despite his great loss he still gave the Shiur that night as usual. When he was asked how can he be so strong, he replied that he lives his life drowning in all the Chessed Hashem. Therefore, he doesn’t have room for any pain or sadness. This is our goal these days. We need to outshine the darkness with the goodness of Hashem.
Another approach to Shabbos Nachamu:
Let’s start with a Mashal (based on the Midrash) to bring out the concept. There was once a king who had a son who rebelled against his father. When the king heard about it, he banished him from the palace. However, before the king sent his son away, he told him. “You should know I really love you with all my heart, and although I am sending you away, I really want you back in the palace. Therefore, there will come a day that I will come and take you back to me. Furthermore, if I see that your behavior has improved greatly, then I will take you back as well”.
As the prince left the palace in disgrace, he was weeping. However, as the soldiers accompanied him out of the city, he started singing. The soldiers looked at him with pity, thinking that perhaps he had lost his mind. He explained to them as follows, “While obviously this is a tragedy beyond words, but it suddenly dawned on me how lucky I am. The king could have banished me from the kingdom forever, never to return. Not only did the king say that I will return one day, but he put the ability to return in my own hands, if I improve myself, and that is why I am singing,” concluded the Prince.
The Nimshal is clear. Chazal tell us that when we were thrown out of the Bais Hamikdash, the Keruvim were hugging each other. This is similar to the king in the Mashal who tells his prince, Hashem is telling His children, “I still love you very much” [which is in itself a tremendous Nechama].
Furthermore, Hashem told us in Parshas Nitzavim the following ושבת עד ה’ אלוקך וכו’ ושב ה’ אלוקך את שבותך וכו’ – Hashem promises us that He will take us back. Similar to the Mashal where the king promises that he will take his child back, one day Hashem promises that He will take us back.
Moreover, Reb Yehoshua Ben Levi met Eliyahu Hanavi and asked him the question that everyone is asking these days “When is Moshiach coming”? Eliyahu responded to Reb Yehoshua ben Levi היום אם בקולו תשמעו. In other words, the Geula is in our hands– if we do teshuva.
Chazal also tell us יש דור שמחכים למלכותי מיד הם נגאלים that if there is a generation is awaiting Malchus Hashem מיד הם נגאלים. The Chofetz Chaim teaches us this as well, that just the yearning to return itself, can bring the Geula. Chazal promise כל המתאבל על ירושלים זוכה ורואה בשמחתה. However, if we want to be able to yearn with fire for the Geula, we first need to internalize the great loss that we have and then we can yearn for Malchus Hashem to be manifest in the world.
Again we see clearly that coming back to the king’s palace, the Bais Hamikdash, is in our hands. This should be a tremendous Nechama for us and should be a reason for us to celebrate with singing and dancing.
There is a famous Gemara that relates the story of the sages who were passing the site of the Churban and they saw foxes emerging from the קודש הקדשים. The sages began to weep, but Rebbe Akiva laughed. When they asked Rebbe Akiva for an explanation, he explained that he realized that just like he saw the fulfillment of nevua predicting foxes coming out of the קודש הקדשים, so too will the fulfillment of the nevua of עוד ישבו זקנים וזקנות ברחובות ירושלים come to fruition.
There is a very strong question that one may ask. It says explicitly in the Eicha על זה היה דוה לבינו וכו’ שועלים הלכו בה. We clearly see that when we see the foxes emerge from the Kodesh Kodashim, we should be distressed. Indeed, it seems that the Chachamim were right for weeping.
I believe the answer is that Rebbe Akiva wasn’t invalidating their feelings of pain, as we see from Eicha. He agreed that they were confronted with darkness. However, Rebbe Akiva was trying to bring out a brilliant light from within the darkness–and that is the bright light of Moshiach. In other words, the concept of Moshiach is supposed to bring us solace and a great Nechama, to which the sages responded עקיבא ניחמתנו עקיבא ניחמתנו.
Thus, we have another Avoda cut out for us during the weeks of שבעה דנחמתא, and that is to bring out the bright light of Moshiach from within the darkness of the galus. How? By yearning for the Geula [learning about the Bais Hamikdash can reawaken a yearning for it], doing Teshuva [as we need to do Teshuva because ultimately Teshuva is one of the ways to be zoche to Geula] and working on Ahavas Yisroel [like forgiving a fellow Jew and taking hatred out of our hearts].
Additionally, we know that Shabbos has the power to bring us back, as it says in the Gemara and Midrashim. Therefore, Shabbos is our Nechama as well, to bring us back. This can be another reason for its name of Shabbos Nachamu, because Shabbos gives us renewed hope for redemption.
Based on all this, we can understand why the Navi says נחמו נחמו עמי twice, because we are dealing with two Nechamos. 1. The first approach that our Nechama is when we look at what we still have, and Hashem hasn’t forsaken us despite the fact that we are still in Galus. 2. Even when we look at what we lost, which is a tremendous loss beyond words, we are still comforted knowing that we will get it back and it is in our hands, as we explained. That is the double Nechama, and now you can sing and dance.
If we utilize these weeks properly, appreciating all the good that we do have, and at the same time we yearn for the better days to come back חדש ימינו כקדם – then we are working on Tzipisa L’yeshua. Hopefully any day now we will once again find ourselves in the arms of Hashem in the Bais Hamikdash Hashlishis, and once again ,הביאני המלך חדריו together with the Tzaddikim במהרה בימינו אמן.
Have a meaning and Joyous Shabbos Nachamu!
פינחס הלוי דאפפעלט