By: Aaron Joseph. The wonderful organizations and societies that anchor and mold our community are simply stated: special. The willingness of strangers to avail themselves to another, often in a most circumspect and modest way, is most praiseworthy. How lucky we are, how fortunate am I, to belong and live amongst such.
 
Noteworthy is the way our youngsters learn from, mimic, and in fact employ the adult methods and ways of their role-modeled humanity. Ways and ideology that surrounds families and neighborhoods on all sides, at all times. Each time we act, we insure the mindful to hopefully one day apply and employ all observations accordingly. Such we expect and at times demand.
 
There is one sub-sphere arena of good deeds and Gomil Chesed, which might need to be curbed, perhaps a bit, perhaps much. It depends on where you stand, or where they stand. Read on even after you may feel a bit betrayed a few paragraphs hence.
 
Driving down 7th Street, at about 9:00am a few mornings ago I was startled to see a young Bais Yaakov high school student, full uniform regalia, trying mightily to hitch a ride with the first offer to come that way. As I drove on past without breaking, the student who was standing a good few feet off the curb, stared annoyed through my car window, as if to communicate “Chutzpa! You’re going my way anyways.” I felt sorry to disappoint, and more sorry at the malapportioned disappointment.
           
I am sure if you have been driving around Lakewood long enough; you have probably had your fair share of such interactions of late. After an up-close staring encounter through your side window, you as well might feel sorry to disappoint someone as you drive on past without stopping. Admittedly, you probably have not received such treatment from a Bais Yaakov student, at least not yet.
                                                                                           
What should I have done? Stopped? My conscience was berating my better instincts with each heartbeat. After all, who knows just who might come along next and offer a readily accepted car ride to that barely teenage child? Was I shirking my responsibility as a Good Samaritan? Was I wrong for leaving the student unsupervised?
                                                                                            
We live in a good, safe area, in a fine community of upright individuals; I calmed myself, no need to fret. I assured myself that the preordained ride will arrive momentarily, in shining armor (depends on make and model!) to whisk the hitcher along towards whatever fanciful destination. Besides, even teenagers have brains enough to recognize danger. Don’t they?
                                                   
Well, fear not. About a block later, I was once again provided with an opportunity of deep introspection and reanalysis of the above-mentioned scenario. As it once again repeated itself just outside my car window, another youngster, a much similar uniform as the first, was playing the lead role.
 
As I drove off once again leaving a stranded, annoyed and perhaps startled teenage child sulking at the trunk of my car; bereft of a free car ride- at least from me, I could not help but wonder about the parents of these teenagers. I mean, do they not realize the grave ramifications that this hitchhiking behavior might pose; aside for the Midos that seemingly were left at the curb as well. Who is responsible for these youngsters anyways?
 
These teens mind you were not the typical Bais Yaakov students however. No, and not for the reasons you are thinking either. The reason they were not typical had absolutely nothing at all to do with the fact they were hitching a ride on 7th street. Nope. Rather, it had to do with the uniform they were wearing.
 
Dressed to the hilt in their standard gear of black hat brim up or down, with dark jacket and dark pants; these were young Yeshiva Bochrim trying to hitch a ride. One of them had his Teffilin tucked into the crook of his arm. He might have been on his way to Yeshiva.
 
Ok. So he was not a “Bais Yaakov” student. But does it make any difference whatsoever of what Yeshiva they go to, or how they dress? Children are children are children.
 
“So,” you might say, “you passed by Bochurim on the way to Yeshiva. Can there be a bigger and easier Mitzvah in your day, a better way to assist with their commitment and commute to Y’hadus?” Yes. All true. However-
                                                              
I had no idea who those Bochrim were, whom they belonged to, or to where they were going. Nor could I know if their parents would approve of me giving them a lift. Perhaps the parents forbade them to take random rides. To me they were strangers- regardless of age. They certainly appeared to be under the legal age of 18 or 21. I would not buy them a beer, cold or hot, no matter how much they plied, even for siblings’ Shalom Zocher. I certainly would not buy them a package of cigarettes; I would not care if they got angry about it neither.
 
Yet for some reason giving a lift, or asking one of a total stranger, has a less severe appreciation. Why is that?
 
Obviously, to be fair, our no longer so small “Haimish” town structure must be taken into honest consideration. The ultra orthodox kindness organizations that abound, nearly one per hitcher, offer impeccable examples of doing unbidden for another. Yes, it is something we have come to take for granted; both the giver and the taker. However, to what degree may the taker be unbidden; or the giver?!
 
While “Haimishkiet” or “trusted close-knit with genuine warmth community insider,” is a poignant factor and strong driving force of much that we do, there are many other communities both small and large with a smack of prideful and rightful Haimishkiet, all with Chesed organizations galore. Yet these places do not spawn a cultured Chinuch of hitchhikers, not pre-teen nor teenage, not of any age. Monsey, Baltimore, Chicago, or Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island do not, and that is just to name a few.
 
Of course, you will always find a few hitchers straggling about in every community, but not on every street corner, nor in front of every Shul. Almost never will they be predominantly teenagers, or younger. If you do end up giving a ride to some hitcher, especially a youngster, say in Miami Beach, you will know the name of your passenger- beforehand. You would also know where he is going before he even asks.
 
For arguments sake let us take a moment to mine a tad deeper into one of Lakewood’s psychological foundations. The phenomenon such as giving ones child over to cycles of almost perfect strangers for cycles of nearly permanent childcare beginning at 6 weeks old; and hence a child growing up with a trusted reliance upon almost perfect strangers, is a no-brainer, but beyond the scope of this article. It is also not an absolute truth. Yet it does weigh into the equation. Let us leave it alone for now though.
 
So what is it with the common hitchhiker in Lakewood, and the phenomenon of young teenage hitchhiking in our community. Where does it come from, and who is responsible for it?
 
It is true, the average young married men might be headed in the same common general direction each morning, and again in the evening; and this might be considered the Lakewood norm. It is even understandable, but teenagers?
 
Another forthright question that comes into mind is this: is it even legal to hitchhike or to offer a ride to hitchhikers, especially a young underage teenage hitchhiker?
 
New Jersey State law is a bit evasive when it comes to picking up passengers on side streets in communities. Clearly, any precedent, without a local township ordinance, is based upon state laws.
 
New Jersey Law is from the stricter in the United States. The law plainly interpreted maintains that concerning any area termed “highway” in New Jersey, it would be illegal, both upon the hiker and upon the driver to be involved with any hitchhiking. Even onramps and off-ramps of highways, are considered “Highways” with regard to hitchhiking. Surprisingly, by law this makes the vicinity of Route 9, an illegal area for hitchhiking, by the way. (FYI)
                                                                                        
A second more provoking legal question is what is the law about allowing a minor into your car without a guardian’s permission?
 
After a smattering of basic legal research I’ve found that while it probably could not be considered kidnapping or abduction, it definitely raises risk factors, as well as any potential insurance claims. For your best information, contact a lawyer or legal expert.
 
Of course, there is always the Halacha and Hashkafa perspective of Ahavas Chesed and doing a daily dosage of good deeds. Yet the Torah edict of U’Shmartem Me’od Es Nafshosaichem, guarding oneself prudently, is equally incumbent upon both a driver, and hitchhiker. This edict is an uncompromising pillar whose mighty foundation also rests within the source of doing a good deed. The two even share the same basis. So which way is the Chesed?
 
The truth is it is uncertain wherein lies the justification, either pro or con of giving a hitchhiker a ride. If you do, be wise about it. If you do not, be wise about it.
 
I am certainly thankful to the One Above, that thus far teenage girls have not yet taken to climbing into just any unremarkable car lumbering in the supposed direction of their whims. I also suppose I am grateful that the teenage boys whom do wait for rides usually have passed the rite of life in which they are at least wearing a hat and holding Teffilin, at the very least, it conveys some format of communal sanity.
 
Some of the other features of this young hitchhiking phenomenon like: “you are now volunteered to do me a favor association” have me wondering however. Like- do the parents know who is driving the car in which their child’s life is now placed? Does the driver even have a license? Is he sober? What is he playing on his radio, and what might he pick up at the next corner that will soon be sitting beside my son, or yours?
 
The lack of consideration for traffic rules that these freelance street hoppers cause is harrowing as well. The inconvenience and also real danger these sudden mid-block stopping and intersection blocking creates, is worthy of a prayer in its own right.
 
These unassuming daily stunts, the responsibility of the feel-good subconscious Chesed-Mitzvah chaser, who quite inadvertently and unwittingly jeopardized the commute of others, all to convenience those who are inconvenienced to begin with, is bewildering to say the least. A new sound of honor, the prolonged, desperate car horn blaring, signifies that someone nearby, in all probability, just alighted out of, or entered a car.
 
Moreover, where in the world do these “earn for yourself eternal reward” opportunities that each corner offers up, learn those well rehearsed, convincing facial expressions and bodily motions and gyrations. You know of- “you just passed by today’s winning lottery Mitzvah,” when you pass them by without picking them up- for whatever reason. Or, the soulful glance of “pleaeesee- I’m stranded,” a break-your-heart look that for some reason, the rearview mirror can never reclaim!
 
This is not something that adults portray when involved in their own Chesed organization, and not something learned through the dedicated work of those hundreds of community volunteers; may G-d bless each one. I surely hope not anyways. I guess I am thankful, that some still say thank you when debarking from their precious lift and my precious Mitzvah. Regarding those that do not; I will choke it up to “L’Fum Tzara Agra.”
 
Importantly, how can the novice hiker flagging aimlessly somewhere (hopefully) near the curbside at every car no matter which way the blinking signal indicates, be trained concerning where to stand and how to express themselves properly and civilly.
 
 
Would it be fallow to point out how any civilized American respectfully awaits a ride offer, when they are in need of one? In addition, can uncivilized behavior be pointed out  as behavior unworthy of emulation? Especially on a public street where sanctification is, and necessarily must always be on public display?
 
Unfortunately, of late, this last aspect of uncivilized behavior is something that does not necessitate finding just any American on any public road awaiting a ride. It is something however, that you and I can tweak with each ride we offer.
                                                                                                                    
When it comes down to the wire though, the great influxes of hitching, and especially the hitchhiking youth, are a reflection of their ever- high expectations for rides being fulfilled- by you and I.
 
In the final analysis, and until the day city hall passes appropriate ordinances and measures to firmly plant a hitchhiking curb, it must be up to us, the Good Samaritans to take the initiative. We who truly appreciate doing these hitchhikers a good deed whenever they offer us the (frequent) opportunity, must offer more then just that requested hop of a couple of blocks.
 
If you feel it incumbent upon yourself to offer the ride, please utilize the moment of good deed you are doing and utilize the opportunity. Realize the potential to be M’chanech these future Baalai Chesed through this act of kindness that you display for them.
                                                                                                             
As these hitchers, especially the younger ones are seemingly left to the street for a car ride,- perhaps and quite possibly as well, maybe just so, they are left to the street when it comes to the expected civilized, and proper social behaviors that they are required to exude in relation to this car ride you just stopped to offer.
 
If you do decide to stop, and offer to fulfill their obvious hailed request, perhaps pause for an added second and offer a lift to their un-hailed curbside street mannerism and social smarts, if necessitated or required.
 
As you have become their vehicle to get them from here to there- why not do a complete job of transporting and lifting a potential Midah Tova as well, becoming a communicating conduit for their good social graces. 
 
Of course, on the other hand you may have a far easier time- all you might need to do is say, “you’re welcome,” at the end.                                                                                                                   
 
Tizku L’Mitzvos. TLS.