It’s been quite a while since this article was meant to be written, and it’s been pushed off for far too long. However, after a number of readers stressed the importance of this topic and with the realization that it requires discussion, especially now that Elul is upon us, it’s time for this article to make an appearance.

We’ve been discussing topics of halachah in the Halachically Speaking articles and sefarim for over fifteen years now, and although we don’t usually focus on non-halachah topics, we have no choice but veer off topic at this time. One can learn all the halachah in the world, but if he lacks a crucial focus, his learning will be in vain. There are times when certain topics need to be addressed even if they’re not pleasant to write about. Once we are aware of the issues, we can work on solutions.

We, the Jewish nation, are a great people. We do chesed, learn Torah, visit the sick, give tzedakah generously, and as a whole are a wonderful nation. However, there are several issues in the Jewish world that need chizuk, some examples are: talking in shul; overeating and the focus on food and desires of this world; addiction to the Internet; cell phones in shul; and basic lack of awareness of Hashem. We see people who steal and cheat and don’t think they did anything wrong. After all, “everyone” does it. Is this a Torah outlook?

The Gemara1 says that if one has the ability to make a difference and stop someone from committing a wrongdoing and doesn’t, he is held liable for this. This article, then, will be our way of making a difference and hopefully bringing about a change for the better.

Talking in Shul

We see many posters in shuls discussing how terrible it is to talk in shul. Hopefully, these ads make an impact, yet how sad it is that we need to hang them in the first place.2 Talking in shul has been an issue for some time now, and it has only spiraled out of control. Talking may stop when the Rav insists on it, but what about when the Rav is not there? It seems that one is scared of the Rav, but not of Hashem. In some shuls talking is so rampant that people talk from the beginning of davening until the end.

How should those who do wish to daven explain to their children why there are grown men standing outside shul during davening and leining, or even inside shul, who cannot keep their mouths closed and do not care about davening? One wonders why these people come to shul in the first place.

Cell Phone Use in Shul

Everyone can attest to the fact that there is basically not a shul in the world that does not have someone who brings a cell phone into shul and does not have the ability to stop himself from playing games and texting during davening. Yes, you read that right: during davening. In some shuls there has been an effort to curb this by installing small cubbies for cell phones, but usually they just collect dust. An entire chazaras hashatz can go by with many people not answering amen or answering to Kaddish. Right when they finish a rushed Shemoneh Esrei they go to their phones. Where is the self-control? The phone can be turned off — or better yet, it can be left in the car. The game one is playing or the email one is replying to is not as important as davening. We all know this — so why can’t we control ourselves? Do we not have what to daven for?

We have a fear of missing out on emails, texts, and WhatsApp, but we don’t fear missing out on a Kaddish, Kedushah, or amen. Where are our priorities? What has happened to us?

It may be hard to detach from the cell phone. It may require self-control and mesirus nefesh — but we must do it.

Overeating and Focus on Food

Overeating is a problem in all communities, not only the Jewish community. However, we have somehow become obsessed with eating and food. Just go into any one of the major kosher supermarkets and see how much food is offered for sale. We have magazines that offer lengthy recipes showcasing exquisite dishes.

How many people lack self-control and eat their fill at a Kiddush, and then eat a large Shabbos seudah? How many people eat and don’t think about whether the food they’re eating is even good for them,3 or if it’s filled with damaging chemicals?

This overabundance of food cannot go on for too much longer.4 We are, in essence, killing ourselves.

Internet Addiction

We all know that addiction to the Internet is an issue with young and old alike, to the extent that it has become extremely difficult for people to focus on what is important in life. Instead, they waste hours and hours on the Internet, looking at things that should not be looked at. While the Internet has made Torah available to the masses as never before, it’s also filled with impurity. People become hooked and browse websites that display forbidden images. We need a way to protect ourselves.

Basic Lack of Awareness of Hashem

Torah is probably learned by more people now than ever before. Despite this, there is a basic lack of the awareness of Hashem in our daily lives. We can go days without talking to Hashem or thinking that He is the Creator of the world, and that all we have in this world comes from Him. We think we’re earning our livelihood, and that Hashem is not involved. We think that if we steal money from people and cheat the government, we are helping Hashem to support us.

It’s time to put Hashem back into the Jewish religion and to stop going about our daily routine out of habit. How many more times does the Torah world have to suffer from Jews being arrested because they stole or cheated? This stems from the lack of awareness of Hashem. We’re taught that we need to sharpen our minds, and we do a good job when it comes to learning Gemara. Yet some yeshivas do not do a good job when it comes to teaching children to have a relationship with Hashem. It needs to be emphasized that they should talk to Hashem on a regular basis.

Many people go around without having a sense of purpose in life and their mission in this world, and without feeling any connection to Judaism.5 It’s time that we talk to Hashem on a daily basis, and put Hashem back into religion.

The Solution

All of the above are some real problems — but problems have solutions. The solution has been around for hundreds of years. People have learned the solution in many different forms, from many different sefarim — but in the end, if one does not have a daily learning cycle in this category of Torah, then he is doomed. Perhaps yeshivas should focus on this as well and spend a bit less time focusing on other topics.6

The solution is the learning of mussar.7

When it comes to business, we want more and more money and luxuries. Yet when it comes to Torah and avodas Hashem, we settle for mediocre, for much less than we can truly accomplish. It’s true that it’s hard to change, and when one learns mussar he will inevitably change, but this is what he has to do in order to be a good Jew.

We will discuss why learning mussar is so important and how doing so can rid a person of desires, lust, stealing, and lack of self-control. Instead of these base behaviors one will feel a renewed purpose in life. He will no longer have the need to find pleasure in foreign territories that are not part of the Jewish religion.

Why Now?

The lack of proper behavior among us has been around for thousands of years.8 Our evil inclination was given to us when we were born. However, in years past if one sinned or committed a misdeed it did not cause him to go off the path, disgrace Hashem, violate Shabbos, or intermarry. Today, things are different and if one deviates from the path, he ends up very far away. Therefore, there is a more pressing need now to prevent this from happening, and mussar is the way to do so.

Learning Mussar

The Gemara in Maseches Kiddushin9 says that Hashem created an evil inclination and created Torah as the antidote. The Birchei Yosef10 says the antidote referred to in the Gemara is learning mussar. If one does not learn mussar, then he does not know that the outside world is tough with many challenges to overcome. If one does not know he’s in the midst of a war, he won’t know how to fight the battle.11

The Mishnah Berurah12 comments that one should make sure to set aside time each day to learn mussar.13 This is also brought down in many poskim.14

The Kaf Hachaim15 mentions that one should learn mussar thirty minutes each day before learning halachah. The Steipler, zt”l,16 would learn fifteen minutes a day of mussar.

Some mention that learning mussar is more important than learning Mishnayos.17 Even if one learns a lot and grows in his learning, his yetzer hara grows as well. He needs to make sure it is kept in check by learning mussar.18

Sadly, we see many people who spend a lot of time learning Torah, but they lack fear of Hashem. The answer is to learn mussar. Without learning mussar and fixing their ways, their Torah is not true Torah.19

Before beginning a shiur, the Chasam Sofer, zt”l, would learn fifteen minutes of Chovas Halevavos with his students.20

The Chafetz Chaim, zt”l, commented that if a yeshivah does not have a mussar seder, it cannot be called a yeshivah.21

The ladder by which one can reach Hashem with a clean soul is the learning of mussar. If one does not learn mussar, he will not know if his actions are correct. He may continue to steal, cheat, lie, be haughty, quick to anger, and possess other negative character traits.22 However, if one learns mussar then slowly it will penetrate his heart and he will become a better person.23

The Mishnah24 says that if one has fear of Hashem his wisdom will last; if he does not have fear of Hashem his wisdom will not last.25

All Beginnings Are Tough

Although the beginning of one’s efforts to learn mussar may be difficult, one should not despair and give up.26 One should not also not be concerned that learning mussar will cause him to become too extreme. The Torah will straighten him out and teach him how to relate to himself and others.27

The Gra on the Importance of Learning Mussar

The Gra, zt”l devoted part of his sefer Even Shleimah28 to discussing the importance of breaking one’s bad habits. The Gra, in fact, learned mussar many times a day.29

One’s entire servitude to Hashem depends on fixing one’s middos. All sins come from bad middos.30

The main focus of one’s existence on this world is to fix his bad traits — if he doesn’t do so, why is he alive?31

The Chafetz Chaim’s Opinion

The Chafetz Chaim, zt”l, mentioned (and this is especially true today) that one must make sure to learn mussar. Only through learning mussar will he be able to make sure that he doesn’t slip in his avodas Hashem. This can be understood with a mashal. If there is a strong wind and one is walking in the street, if he does not hold onto his garments they can fly away and he will be left naked. So too, if there is a person who learns Torah but does not learn mussar, the winds of society around him will blow him away. Therefore, it is important for every yeshivah to make sure they have a seder in mussar. The Chafetz Chaim goes on to mention that he spoke to other Gedolim who may have not been on board with the concept of learning mussar when the idea was first introduced,32 but they all agreed that times have changed and it is imperative that mussar be learned.33

The reality is that whether one learns in yeshivah or works, he needs to learn mussar daily.

Which Sefer?

There are many good sefarim on mussar one can read. Gedolei Yisrael have learned many of the sifrei mussar that are available,34 such as Reishis Chochmah,35 Shevet Mussar,36

Chovos Halevavos,37 Shaarei Teshuvah,38 Orchos Tzaddikim,39 and Mesilas Yesharim,40 to name a few.41 Many of these sefarim have been translated into English.

One should pick a sefer that “talks” to him and to which he can relate.42 Each sefer discusses a different topic. If one feels he has to work on his middos, he should learn Orchos Tzaddikim; if one wishes to learn about teshuvah, then he should learn Shaarei Teshuvah. One who is struggling with anger issues should read Erech Apayim. If one has a hard time with avoiding speaking lashon hara, he should learn sefer Chafetz Chaim on shemiras halashon.43

The custom of many Gedolim was to make sure to have a set time to learn mussar.44 In addition, the custom in most of the great yeshivos in Lithuania was to set aside time to learn mussar.45 Obviously, care should be taken not to spend too much of one’s time on Gemara without making any time to learn mussar.46

Women and Mussar

Just as a male should learn mussar, so too should a woman.47 The Steipler, zt”l,48 suggested that girls learn Shaarei Teshuvah or Orchos Tzaddikim.49 They may learn some Pele Yoetz as well. He did not advise girls to learn from the Chovos Halevavos.

Goal of Mussar

The goal of learning mussar is to change a person so that he will act differently in the future. It is not to learn from a mussar sefer in order to get a nice vort, and so on.50 In addition, the point of learning mussar is that one should realize his life has a goal and is not a free-for-all, like the outside world thinks.51

In Place of Learning

Some do not feel comfortable learning mussar because they claim it’s considered bitul Torah.52 However, such logic is simply not true.53 The Chayei Adam54 mentions that one should learn sefarim which speak about the fear of Hashem even if it means that doing so would cause one to learn less Torah. Someone once asked Harav Yisrael Salanter, zt”l a question: If a person only has half an hour a day to learn, should he learn Mishnayos, Gemara, or mussar?

“Learn mussar,” Rav Yisrael responded, “and you will see that you will have more time in the day to learn.55

One who learns about the fear of Hashem, love of Hashem, and good deeds fulfills the mitzvah of learning Torah.56

Some feel that learning mussar could cause one to become depressed, since it highlights any flaws one may have. However, if one falls into a depression when he is learning mussar then he is not learning mussar in the proper manner.57

The Chafetz Chaim, zt”l,58 mentioned that if one is not feeling well and does not wish to eat, he takes some medicine in order that he should feel better and then eat. However, taking a lot of medicine all day would not be ideal. A bit of mussar should be learned every day.

Learning mussar will arouse your heart to do the right thing.59 Without learning mussar, one will not know how to refrain from bad actions.60

The difference between one who learns mussar and one who does not is like the difference between day and night.61 Without learning mussar it’s not possible to fix your middos,62 and there is no hope to fix yourself.63

Mussar as a Prelude to Torah

When one leaves this world he is asked many questions, such as whether he was honest in business and whether he set aside time to learn Torah. However, if one did not have fear of Hashem then nothing will help him.64 One thing Hashem asks from us is to fear Him.65

The Meiri66 mentions that if one does not have fear of Hashem, it is better if he does not learn Torah.67 Rashi68 writes that the Torah is a gate for one to acquire fear of Hashem.

The Rambam69 opines that Torah is only found by one who is humble, implying that one has to work on himself before he can acquire Torah.

The Orchos Tzaddikim70 mentions that having fear of Hashem will strengthen all of a person’s other middos.

Learning mussar is important since without fear of Hashem, which one gains by learing mussar, his Torah wisdom will not last.71

Controlling Desire

Much of what we do that needs fixing stems from desire. We daven every day in Elokai Netzor (at the end of Shemoneh Esrei) that our hearts be open to Torah, which helps us avoid desiring other things.72 We have to make sure to control our desires in any way possible, since desire for the wrong thing can lead to forbidden actions.

If one truly wishes to climb the ladder of yiras Shamayim, he has to learn mussar.73

Once in a While

Learning mussar once in a while is not sufficient, since one has to be inspired to change. Learning once in a while will not have an effect on a person.74

Learn It Over and Over

Even when one finishes learning a specific sefer, he should not hesitate to learn it over and over again.75

Out Loud

Harav Avigdor Miller, zt”l, would tell his students to learn from a mussar sefer in a loud voice, like was done in Slabodka in pre-war Europe.76

Leaving Yeshivah

When in yeshivah, bachurim and avreichim learn in-depth and with energy, writing chiddushei Torah and so on. When they leave the yeshivah to enter the outside world, one would never know they had ever learned in a yeshivah — and the reason for this is the lack of a mussar seder.77

Learning Mussar on Shabbos

One is allowed to learn mussar on Shabbos even if it will make him sad.78

During Elul

Many people are careful to have a mussar seder during the month of Elul, as preparation for the Aseres Yemi Teshuvah.79 Some mention that Chovos Halevavos should be learned.80 Others say to learn Shevet Mussar, while many learn Shaarei Teshuvah.81 One should learn a bit more mussar during this time than during the rest of the year.82

Harav Yisrael Salanter would instruct his students not to push off their learning of Gemara in order to learn mussar, except during Aseres Yemei Teshuvah.83

Mussar on Tishah B’Av

Although learning many areas of Torah is not allowed on Tishah B’Av, classic mussar sefarim may be learned on Tishah B’Av.84

1 Maseches Shabbos 54b; Rambam Hilchos Dei’os 6:7; Rema, Y.D. 334:48.

2 It is reported that Harav Chaim Kanievsky, shlita, mentioned that as long as the mispallelim in the shul refrain from talking during davening, the less they have to be worried about outside violence.

3 Look into Orchos Tzadikim Shar Ha’ahavah.

4 Refer to O’leles Ephraim on Tehillim 24:3.

5 For more on this, see Pirkei Hadrachah L’Ben Torah, page 122.

6 In fact, there was an entire movement that was designed to teach mussar to the masses, which was founded by Harav Yisrael Salanter zt”l. In past years, mussar was learned in mussar houses, where people sat together and learned a mussar sefer. They would pick a maamar Chazal and mention it over and over again (Q&A: Thursdays Nights with Rabbi Avigdor Miller, page 34). The Slabodka Yeshivah was famous for the learning of mussar. The beis medrash was packed with the elite of the yeshivah world, and the roar of the Torah emanating from it was deafening. Still, as soon as talmidim heard the sound of the Mashgiach opening the drawer under the bimah to pull out a mussar sefer, they knew it was time for mussar seder. A sudden hush would overtake the beis medrash, which was transformed into a beis mussar (Rav Avigdor Miller — His Life and His Revolution, page 99).

7 This is expounded on in Nefesh Shimshon (HaTorah V’Kinyuneha), pages 340-341.

8 Tenuas Hamussar 1, page 79.

9 30b. Refer to Pele Yoetz Mussar, pages 376-377 (new).

10 O.C. 1:9. See Minhagei Ha’Chidah, page 75:7 (new).

11 Leket Reshimus — Limud Mussar V’Avodas Hashem, page 13.

12 1:12. See Mishnah Berurah 603:2. Refer to Chayei Adam 143.

13 See Oz Nidberu 14:3:3; Shevet Halevi 7:15:1.

14 Be’er Heitiv 603:1.

15 Palagi 20:4.

16 Orchos Rabbeinu 1, page 368:18.

17 Shaar Hatzion 1:26.

18 Pele Yoetz, ibid., page 377.

19 Piskei Teshuvos 1:15.

20 Minhagei Chasam Sofer 2:4.

21 Hachazak B’Mussar, page 59. In the yeshivah in Radin the mussar seder was before Maariv (Peninei Rabbeinu Ha’avi Ezri, p. 276). See ibid., page 60, regarding the opinion of Harav Shach, zt”l.

22 Pele Yoetz (ibid., pages 376-377).

23 Ibid., page 377.

24 Avos 3:9.

25 Refer to Orchos Tzaddikim 1, page 372:31, which mentions that without the learning of mussar one’s yiras Shamayim will cool down.

26 Ibid.

27 Mind Over Man, page 27.

28 Chapter 1.

29 Maasei Rav 60.

30 1:1.

31 1:2.

32 As mentioned above, the Mussar Movement was established with the idea to promote mussar to the masses. This ultimately did not appeal to most people, since it required one to look into himself and see which flaws needed to be corrected. In a way, the Mussar Movement was a way for those from Lithuanian areas to combat the outside world, similar to the purpose of the Chassidus movement. The mussar learned today, whether it’s learned in a yeshivah as a seder or by an individual alone, is only an offshoot of the Mussar Movement. Some mention that the controversy over the learning of mussar was whether mussar should be learned as part of the seder in yeshivah, but all agreed that mussar should be learned (Leket Reshimus — Limud Mussar V’Avodas Hashem, page 7).

33 Beis Yisrael 9:4, pages 82-83.

34 The technique used in the mussar seder in Slabodka in pre-war Europe involved finding a favorite passage with a personal meaning and repeating it over and over. The repetition was intended to ingrain the concept being learned into the deeper recesses of one’s consciousness. In addition, a special tune was used for mussar seder. This was the method promoted by Rav Yisrael Salanter (Rav Avigdor Miller — His Life and His Revolution, page 99; see Q&A: Thursdays Nights with Rabbi Avigdor Miller 2, page 34).

35 Kaf Hachaim Palagi 20:4; Moreh B’etzba 1:17.

36 Ibid.

37 The Beis Yosef had a seder in Chovos Halevavos (Maggid Mesharim; Parshas Behar, end). Harav Yisrael Belsky, zt”l, used to discuss the Chovos Halevavos often.

38 Beis Yisrael 9:4, page 83.

39 See https://www.torahmusings.com/2016/09/mystery-orechos-tzadikim/ for a discussion on the topic of who wrote Orchos Tzaddikim. The Steipler, zt”l, commented that a child as young as nine can understand the topics discussed in Orchos Tzaddikim (Orchos Rabbeinu 1, page 368:18).

40 The Mesilas Yesharim is a sefer that has great depth and is not just a mussar sefer (Bnei Banim 2, page 209:7). Harav Chaim Volozhin, zt”l, held the Mesilas Yesharim in high esteem.

The Gra mentioned that had he been alive at the same time as the author of the Mesilas Yesharim, he would have traveled to learn mussar and middos from him (Gadol Inyan Chiyuv Limud Sifrei Mussar, page 37). Refer to Leket Reshimus — Limud Mussar V’Avodas Hashem, pages 10-11.

41 Tenuas Hamussar 1, page 79. The Belzer Rebbe, zt”l, mentioned that learning Reishis Chochmah is required, one should look into Chovos Halevavos, and one should know Orchos Tzaddikim by heart (Gedolei Hadoros 3, p. 996).

42 Oz Nidberu 14:3:5.

43 Refer to Gadol Inyan Chiyuv Limud Sifrei Mussar, page 14. Some put so much emphasis on the topic of shemiras halashon that learning the sefer Shemiras Halashon would take precedence over other mussar sefarim (Harav Kook, zt”l, on Sefer Chafetz Chaim, page 381:19). When seeing students learning Sefer Chafetz Chaim, Harav Avigdor Miller zt”l, did not allow them to study the in-depth discussions in the Be’er Mayim Chaim because then it was being learned as a halachah sefer and not a mussar sefer (Rav Avigdor Miller — His Life and His Revolution, page 190).

44 Tenuas Hamussar 1, pages 80-83; Alei Shur 2, page 143; Kovetz Igeres Chazon Ish 1:3, 154; Maasei Ish 5, pages 36-38. Refer to Yesod V’shoresh Ha’avodah, page 301, who brings the practice of the Arizal.

45 Gadol Inyan Chiyuv Limud Sifrei Mussar pages 26-27.

46 Hilchos Talmud Torah (Harav Ovadiah Yosef), page 5.

47 Chomas Hadas page 43; Oz Nidberu 14:3:8.

48 Orchos Rabbeinu 1, page 371:27.

49 The Steipler, zt”l, would learn Orchos Tzaddikim with his grandchildren (ibid., 28, page 372:32).

50 Hadrachah L’Limud Mussar, page 54.

51 Leket Reshimus — Limud Mussar V’Avodas Hashem, pages 13-14. Also see ibid., page 9.

52 Refer to Hachazak B’Mussar, pages 55-56. Some mentioned that even though learning too much mussar may be bitul Torah, a working person should make sure to learn mussar (Maasei Rav, page 310, new).

53 Vayivarech Dovid (Talmud Torah) 48. See Kovetz Beis Aharon V’Yisrael 110, pages 155-156. Refer to Gadol Inyan Chiyuv Limud Sifrei Mussar, page 45.

54 143:1.

55 Gadol Inyan Chiyuv Limud Sifrei Mussar, page 28.

56 Mekor Hayirah, page 59.

57 Leket Reshimus — Limud Mussar V’Avodas Hashem, pages 4-6.

58 Dugmas M’Darkei Avi, page 42.

59 Pele Yoetz, “mussar,” page 377. Refer to Gadol Inyan Chiyuv Limud Sifrei Mussar, page 45.

60 Ohr Yechezkel (Michtavim) 96.

61 Ibid. 60.

62 Ibid. 247.

63 Ibid. 376.

64 Shabbos 31a.

65 Devarim 10:12. See Tehillim 111:10. For more on this, see introduction to Orchos Tzaddikim.

66 Shabbos, ibid.

67 Refer to Avos 3:17; Rabbeinu Yonah.

68 Yoma 72b, “v’sera.”

69 Hilchos Talmud Torah 3:9.

70 Introduction.

71 Devash L’fi, page 164.

72 Even Shleimah 2:1.

73 Pele Yoetz, “mussar,” page 376 (new).

74 Pele Yoetz, “mussar,” ibid.

75 Ibid., page 377.

76 Rav Avigdor Miller — His Life and His Revolution, page 190.

77 Leket Reshimus — Limud Mussar V’Avodas Hashem, page 12.

78 Teshuvos V’hanhagos 1:546; Leket Reshimus — Limud Mussar V’Avodas Hashem, page 10.

79 Moed Lechol Chai 11:13; Chayei Adam 143:1. Refer to Yesod V’shoresh Ha’avodah 10:4.

80 Moed Lechol Chai, ibid.

81 Asichah 1, page 340, footnote 3. This was the direction given by Harav Yisrael Salanter, zt”l, as well as to focus on the third chapter (Kedosh Yisrael, page 348).

82 Asichah 2, page 331.

83 Kisvei Hasabah M’kelm (Pinkas Hakabbalos), p. 74, footnote 3. The Steipler, zt”l, mentioned that he would learn more Gemara in Elul (and not mussar) (Orchos Rabbeinu 2, p. 206:9).

84 Refer to Shaarei Nechmamah (teshuvos) 12; Mekadesh Yisrael Ben Hamitzarim 285, Maasei Ish 1, page 90; Sheilas Shlomo 3:322. See Rivevos Ephraim 1:386:1 who brings those who are stringent. Also refer to Shaarei Nechamah 12.