1,000 is a number that I never could have thought I would reach. Today marks a momentous occasion – 1,000 days clean from the grip of my once-ruinous addiction to inappropriate websites.
This journey has been arduous, but it has transformed every aspect of my life.
My marriage, which was once hanging by a thread, now flourishes with newfound trust, love, and understanding. My job performance has soared, as I’ve reclaimed focus and productivity, no longer weighed down by the burden of addiction.
I can now stand tall, knowing I’ve overcome my darkest demons and emerged as a better partner, employee, and believer.
But I only could have done this with Guard Your Eyes.
Guard Your Eyes has empowered me and was designed to aid in overcoming addictions to inappropriate websites. With an array of effective tools and resources, I was able to finally feel some hope as the members on the site all people understood my journey firsthand and were able to guide me to new strategies that curbed my temptations and allowed me to navigate the online world safely.
I’d like to take the opportunity to reflect on some of the hard-earned lessons learned on this 1,000 + day journey, from someone who’s “been there, done that”.
1) HITTING BOTTOM. I was finally able to change when I “hit bottom. My definition of “Hitting “rock bottom” is the point at which being actively addicted is MORE painful than the pain of change – which is what is ultimately going to happen to anyone stuck in this rut. at this point, change becomes the logical next step.
2) RESPONSIBILITY! – We all have our own backstories, we all have seemingly legitimate excuses and we all have rationalizations. Taking responsibility means that NO MATTER WHAT, even if I had access to inappropriate websites – The buck stops with me!
A good antidote to rationalizations and excuses is to just picture telling your wife: “I acted inappropriately because I was tired, moody, abused, etc”. We all know that logic won’t go too far.
3) CONNECT with Someone On GYE- The opposite of addiction is not sobriety – it’s CONNECTION. Addiction thrives on isolation! Find someone on GYE (either through the forum or the partner program) that you can share your pain and struggles. Have someone that you can text, call or meet when the going gets rough. And finally, have someone who can cheer you on and celebrate both your big and small wins together with you!
4) Plan Ahead – Be proactive. As they say, “If you fail to plan – you plan to fail”. The yetzer horah rarely tries to fight us when were doing well, he looks for opportunities when we’re down and out or caught off guard. When we were tired, moody, or stressed.
If we’re proactive, most of the time we can anticipate ahead of time that we’re about to be in a vulnerable spot. If you know that when you’re tired you’re vulnerable, then if you come home from a Chasunah at 2am don’t just go to sleep and hope for the best tomorrow! Call your GYE Chaver, text him, or do whatever else works for you.
5) Don’t Become Complacent- “I’m already in a good place, I don’t need to be vigilant anymore”. COMPLACENCY IS THE BEGINNING OF YOUR LAST CLEAN DAY. While this day can sometimes last a while, if we’re complacent, it’s just a matter of time before we get caught off guard.
6) One Day At A Time. Over these past 1,000 days, I’ve had times of sheer elation, times of utter frustration, and times of vulnerability when I thought that all my success might evaporate. Just take it literally one day at a time and know that you are not alone. GYE has the tools that will enable you to stop your addiction, it truly changed my life!
Buckle up and get ready for the journey of a lifetime!