Dear Rabbi Abenson,
I am writing to you regarding your articles in the Jewish Tribune about your book, I Can’t Learn. It seems like an exceptional resource, offering practical guidance and essential skills to those who have fallen behind in their learning due to foundational gaps.
However, my question is about a boy whose challenges go beyond simply missing foundational skills. He struggles with multiple issues that have left him unmotivated to succeed—not just in kodesh studies but in many areas of life. At 15 years old, this has been ongoing for several years, and we are desperate for a solution.
Is there any way to help a boy who has no motivation to change or improve himself?
Thank you for your guidance,
Mrs. Ross*
My reply
Dear Mrs. Ross*,
Thank you for reaching out to me.
The challenges you describe are, unfortunately, far too common today. Your son’s situation reflects the larger educational crisis within the Jewish world, one that must be addressed urgently.
Many students lose motivation not because they are incapable but because they lack the basic building blocks of learning. This creates frustration, apathy, and ultimately disengagement from Torah study. My book, I Can’t Learn, was written to address this issue. It offers proven strategies for identifying and correcting these gaps, rebuilding confidence, and reigniting the passion for learning.
I have worked with countless students like your son, and my approach is highly individualized. I conduct one-on-one evaluations and sessions online, focusing on skills and techniques that make Torah learning accessible and meaningful again.
Please do not hesitate to contact me at (001) 848-367-1740. Together, we can find a way forward for your son.
With bracha v’hatzlacha,
Rabbi Dovid Abenson
Lakewood, NJ
A Message to My Readers
I have been sounding the alarm about the crisis in Jewish education for many years. While I know some may find my message uncomfortable, it must be said: our current system is failing too many students.
As someone with over three decades of experience working with students from hundreds of institutions worldwide, I can tell you firsthand that the issues are widespread and deeply concerning. Despite the remarkable growth in schools and the increasing number of people learning Torah, far too many students lack even the most basic foundational skills. This is not an exaggeration—many cannot translate a simple verse from Chumash. Don’t just take my word for it—check it out yourself! The situation becomes even more dire when these students attempt to navigate the complexities of Talmud.
This crisis is not theoretical—it is real, and it is urgent. In my work, I’ve encountered students and parents alike who are desperate for solutions. The lack of proper educational foundations has left countless students disengaged, frustrated, and hopeless. This isn’t just an academic problem—it’s a spiritual one, and it threatens the very fabric of our mesorah.
Rabbi Mattisyahu Salomon zt”l once told me, before undergoing surgery, that afterward, he would personally travel with me across North America to promote and implement my program in schools. Unfortunately, his condition worsened, and he was unable to fulfill this vision. However, he gave me a beautiful recommendation for my work, writing:
“May your words be received with love, and may you merit to continue your holy work and be a beacon of Torah, helping the masses in good health and peace of mind.”
His vision was clear: the Jewish world must embrace change to ensure the success of our future generations.
——————–
To any parents, Roshei Yeshiva, or Menahalim reading this: The time to act is now. My program has transformed countless lives, and it can transform your institution too. If you are serious about addressing these issues, I urge you to pick up the phone and call me at (001) 848-367-1740, or WhatsApp me. You can also email me at [email protected] or invite me to your institution to address this issue directly.
But first, I strongly recommend reading my book, I CAN’T Learn.It will answer many of your questions and prepare us to have a focused and productive discussion. This will allow us to get straight to the point and begin fixing the crises affecting our mesorah.
Do not wait for the situation to deteriorate further. The responsibility rests on us to take bold steps for the sake of our children and the future of Torah education.
For more details, visit: https://thelakewoodscoop.com/news/our-mesorah-is-under-threat-part-2-the-jewish-educational-crisis-we-can-no-longer-ignore-by-rabbi-dovid-abenson/.
*Names have been changed.
I think we have a societal crisis behind the educational crisis. Too many people don’t see the life goals their parrents, rebbeim and morahs are setting for them worth working towards. As a product of the standard yeshiva system it is way to easy to float through.
Many people see success as being an askan or a baal tzedaka, but there is no training for either of those outcomes.
Biggest educational issue for the girls is too much pressure, and for the boys too little.
Kids in general are also too spoiled, and accountability is not taught enough at home or in school.
Another frustrating article:
The letter writer (if real) is asking a very open-ended question about a boy who is unmotivated to succeed in several areas of his life. The mother does not get into the specific issues, and to anyone who is involved in the parsha of Chinuch, they understand that there are many many possibilities which could lead to a lack of motivation. Therefore, any general response without digging deeper is completely missing the boat.
The author of this response returns (again) to the same issue which likely is not the driving factor in this boy’s lack of motivation – assuming this boy is lacking basic skills of learning.
Although this is a common problem, this is definitely not the majority cause of disengagement from Torah. It may be the cause sometimes, and certainly more often plays a role, but is generally NOT the driving factor. There is a laundry list of factors that could cause this, from strained relations with a parent/rebbe, attention issues, large classrooms, lack of positive reinforcement and joy in the learning, trauma, etc. etc., no need to air them all out here. The point is that pointing the finger at this specific issue always – is incorrect.
While I am sure that the author is very talented and has helped many people in his mission, it is misleading for TLS to keep publishing this narrative that any mechanech would tell you is incorrect. If this is an ad, TLS should label it communicated content.
Hatzlacha