The recent events in Eretz Yisrael have been devastating to all of us. The enormity of the evil that has been perpetrated defies comprehension. Yet the horror that many of us feel is deeper than the events that surround it.
The IDF symbolized strength, power and prowess. They were renowned for their superior intelligence gathering capacities. Despite all that, they failed in their most basic duty to protect. The reputation of the IDF is another casualty of this war. No one still believes that the IDF is in control. Along with the IDF, our illusion of control over our own individual lives has been permanently shattered. For a while we were able to maintain the facade of כוחי ועוצם ידי but that is no longer an option. For many of us, the colossal failure of the IDF has poignantly reminded us that we do not control our lives.
How do we react when confronted with our powerlessness? As מאמינים we instinctively turn to our אמונה and בטחון in Hashem for security. The challenge here is that as מאמינים we also believe that הקבה is the one that did this. We are taught that Hashem is our Father that loves us beyond our human comprehension, yet which Father would do something like this to his children? How can we then feel secure and safe in His hands? While in everyday matters אמונה and בטחון is critical, in times of crisis it is even more pressing. Many of us have young children. They are terrified and confused. The only way to comfort our children is by conveying our אמונה to them. The only way we can instill authentic אמונה in our children is when that אמונה is what sustains us too. We owe it to our children to have a crystal clear אמונה.
The answer to this requires a clarity in our mission in this world. This world appears to be filled with so much pain and suffering. Anyone who believes that the purpose of life is that we should all live in peace and ease is destined to live in abject misery. As אידין, we believe in a greater purpose to our existence. What is that purpose? The purpose is to draw closer to השם through both the blessings and the challenges in our lives. How do we use the challenges to become closer to השם? By using them to emulate the מדות of השם. The גמרא teaches us that והלכת בדרכיו means to emulate the יג מדות of Hashem. The מדות of Hashem are רחום וחנון ארך אפים… (Compassionate, Merciful, patient…). I see this daily in clients who have endured real suffering. Many have utilized their suffering as a means to become more sensitive, compassionate, deeper, and have a clarity, focus, and direction in their life unsurpassed by anyone who has not suffered like them. Suffering is both a challenge and a gift from השם. It allows us to access our core Godly qualities and to transcend our smallness.
As long as we are in this world, none of us can understand the ultimate Master Plan behind the current מצב in א“י. However, by having clarity in what our mission is, we can come to accept that we don’t need to understand. We can recognize that this ordeal, like all of our ordeals, is from Hashem in order for us to grow. If the ultimate purpose is to become closer to Him, then by definition our suffering is a gift of love from השם. The גמרא in יומא says that when the בית המקדש was destroyed, the כרובים were locked in an embrace. The obvious question is why were they embracing at the time of the most הסתר פנים? The answer is that the embrace of the כרובים represented our connection to Hashem. The greatest act of love from השם was to forgo His own suffering in our גלות for the good of כלל ישראל. We needed to have the בית המקדש destroyed in order to ultimately come closer to השם. There was no greater act of love than Hashem sacrificing His pain at banishing his children for their own good.
Once we can accept that we don’t need to understand the why, and that we only need to recognize that this is coming from Hashem’s love, we are free to focus on what our mission is. The response of כלל ישראל to this tragedy has been unbelievable. There is no doubt that we are rising to the challenge. People who have never kept Shabbos have kept Shabbos for the first time. People who have never davened are pouring out their hearts in Tefilla. There are endless whatsapp messages and videos about the קבלות that ordinary people are accepting. Countless hours of tehillim and לימוד התורה have been organized. There is an unprecedented אחדות that has never been here before. We were tasked with growth and we are doing our task.
The clarity in our mission is of paramount importance. There are many people that are experiencing fear, dread, uncertainty, grief, and panic. This is a normal response to an abnormal situation. It takes real work to overcome these feelings, even more so in these times of crisis. However, along with the pain, there is a perspective that only serves as a distraction from our mission. There are those that believe that our duty is to deeply and constantly feel the pain, fear and sadness to empathize and demonstrate our care for those in א“י. While there is no doubt that being משתתף in the צער of those suffering is of crucial importance, the way this is being understood in this context is flawed. The problem with this perspective is that it undermines our ability to focus on the true goal. If we are too engrossed in our pain, we are unable to do what Hashem wants from us which is to emulate him. We can’t become more giving, understanding, selfless, or engage fully in תורה and תפילה if we are stuck in fear and pain. The way to truly be משתתף in the צער is to engage in the sacred mission we were entrusted with. May we all be זוכה to feel the love of השם in this צרה and rise to the occasion to become closer to Him.
(To help cope with the many emotional challenges in this crisis, I am starting a whatsapp group with techniques and strategies to deal with stress in crisis, join using this link https://chat.whatsapp.com/HxKuqFPMF9iB4dpafHT9KI).
——————–
Chaim Moshe Steinmetz, LISW
Chaimmoshesteinmetz.com