1. El Al to Offer Coughing-Free Flights??
   El Al released a statement on Monday saying that, due to the complaints and requests of hundreds of customers who insist that El Al provide them with coughing-free flights – the air lines will soon be offering various coughing-free flights “because, apparently, we’ve got hundreds of germaphobic customers, who are afraid of catching colds and viruses while flying El Al.”
   “We’re here to serve all of our customers,” the statement said. “Hence, we are proud to announce that, starting next week, El Al will be offering our germaphobic customer base coughing-free flights from JFK to Tel Aviv. All passengers on these flights will be screened for coughing and sniffing symptoms, and only those passengers who are symptom-free will be allowed onboard these flights. And although our screening process is thorough and flawless, we will be offering cough lozenges with the zinc nutrient, which has been known to lessen the duration of the common cold and coughing spells. We would like to wish all of our germaphobic customers a fantastic, coughing-free summer.
   Sincerely yours,
   Your Friendly, Health Conscious Staff at El Al.”
   UPDATE: El Al issued an updated statement just moments ago, with a “significant correction” and “heartfelt apology.”
   “Yikes!” the statement reads. “Our bad! We mistakingly thought that the aforementioned customers were seeking coughing-free flights, when in fact, they were seeking coffin-free flights. Sorry about the confusion. [It’s about time we get our ears cleaned out, that’s for sure!] Hence, we are proud to announce that starting next week, we will be offering coffin-free flights on various flights from JFK to Tel Aviv. Moreover, we’d like to reassure all coughing customers that they will be allowed to fly on all of our flights, and that coughing-free flights will not be part of El Al’s foreseeable future. Nevertheless, we will still be providing zinc lozenges to our coughing customer base free of charge. Have a happy summer, with plenty of hearty coughs and exuberant sniffles.
   Sincerely yours,
   The Cough and Sniffle Friendly Folks at El Al.”

2. El Al to Offer Coughing-Free Flights??
   El Al Airlines issued a statement on Monday saying that, due to the complaints and requests of hundreds of customers who insist that El Al provide them with coughing-free flights – the air lines will soon be offering various coughing-free flights “because, apparently, we’ve got hundreds of germaphobic customers, who are afraid of catching colds and viruses while flying El Al.”
   “We’re here to serve all of our customers,” the statement said. “Hence, we are proud to announce that, starting next week, El Al will be offering our germaphobic customer base coughing-free flights from JFK to Tel Aviv. All passengers on these flights will be screened for coughing and sniffing symptoms, and only those passengers who are symptom-free will be allowed onboard these flights. And although our screening process is thorough and flawless, we will be offering cough lozenges with the zinc nutrient, which has been known to lessen the duration of the common cold and coughing spells. We would like to wish all of our germaphobic customers a fantastic, coughing-free summer.
   Sincerely yours,
   Your Friendly, Health Conscious Staff at El Al.”
   UPDATE: El Al issued an updated statement just moments ago, with a “significant correction” and “heartfelt apology.”
   “Yikes!” the statement reads. “Our bad! We mistakingly thought that the aforementioned customers were seeking coughing-free flights, when in fact, they were seeking coffin-free flights. Sorry about the confusion. [It’s about time we get our ears cleaned out, that’s for sure!] Hence, we are proud to announce that starting next week, we will be offering coffin-free flights on various flights from JFK to Tel Aviv. Moreover, we’d like to reassure all coughing customers that they will be allowed to fly on all of our flights, and that coughing-free flights will not be part of El Al’s foreseeable future. Nevertheless, we will still be providing zinc lozenges to our coughing customer base free of charge. Have a happy summer, with plenty of hearty coughs and exuberant sniffles.
   Sincerely yours,
   The Cough and Sniffle Friendly Folks at El Al.”

   • Sorry about the duplicate comment, but the first comment didn’t seem to go through. And, no, you are not suffering from double vision.

     • You forgot to apologize for the first comment which was equally as irrelevant as the duplicate.

       • I didn’t want to apologize twice for both irrelevancies because then the second apology might have looked like a duplicate apology, so I just apologized once for the duplicate comment.

3. Not being a Kohen I’m not concerned about the “coffin free” flights
   What I want is for ElAl to institute “Fish free” flights. I understand & respect some are very Machmir with Kashrus & bring their own food. But does it have to be Gefilte Fish, Herring &/or Sardines? If you can afford to fly you’re not “Shtetl poor”
   Bring a pastrami sandwich or kugel but stinking up the entire plane with your “poor man’s fish” is not a good look.

4. I am not sure what the joke is here. We all die and go in coffins and some of us might wanna be buried in the Holy Land. But, on the other hand Kohanim also want to travel. So Elal is making a Pshara between the live and the deceased, and their families.

5. Ask your rabbi Even.
   If there’s a person underneath You might be able to go Because it’s in separate compartment With Good enough space On each side

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