Leaving Your Child Waiting Alone For The Bus? Not Suggested

girl waiting for busIf you can’t make it with your child to the bus stop, it’s not suggested you allow them to go on their own. A police officer came across a young child at a bus stop along New Central Avenue this morning and asked her where her parents were. The girl responded that her mother couldn’t make it to the bus stop, and she began making her way home. 

The officer followed and warned the parents that if the incident repeated itself, DYFS would be called. TLS-CC.

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  1. Many mothers have babies at home and find it very difficult to go out in the morning to the bus stop especially in the winter when everyone has to be bundled up. They cant of course, just run out the door and leave the younger children home. When my kid s were little, Id just end up driving them to school because waiting by the bus stop wasn’t an option.

  2. If the board of ed feels its ok not to provide bussing for children and to have them walk alone to school if they live within a mile etc. of the school. Why wouldn’t it be ok for them to walk alone to a nearby bus stop?

  3. well in todays society with the amount of child kidnappings and disappearances, how dare any parent send a young child out to a road way alone to wait for a bus. I do no care if you have ten screaming babies at home in diapers. Just because you choose not to follow recent world, local, or any news from certain media types, you must still be aware of the dangers that the world, yes even in Lakewood, do not make your child a victim or another statistic.
    A resident, taxpayer, parent, and I know the number for DYFS.

  4. I agree with the officer because in today day in age there are crazy people out there and the last thing you need if for a child to be abducted!!
    LKWD is not the way it use to be, you cant just let your kids wait alone…..
    you probally should rotate with other parents.

  5. when i was younger and lived in Brooklyn, the bus would stop in front of my house, i would open the door and leave my mother with all my younger siblings still in diapers and pjs’,

    hey BOE how about that?

  6. How old do YOU think a child has to be in order to be able to go to the bus stop alone? It falls under the same juristiction as babysitting. I once called the police department to find out if there’s a minimum age requirement, by law, for a babysitter. The answer was “use my judgement”. So I said, “what about a responsible 11 year old girl?” and the officer got really nasty and said, “well, I (emphasis on the I) wouldn’t leave an 11 year old alone!”. And perhaps that makes sense with HIS 11 year old. But not with mine. So it’s very subjective. Who decides when children are old enough and/or responsible enough? And if my decision clashes with DYFS opinion does that mean my children could be taken away from me???

  7. To oh boy ur comment sound to be antisemite! Is it better for the mother to leave the children at home alone?

    I see all the time children walking to the public school alone, why don’t u call DYFS if you can’t take them to school don’t send them school and save some of our tax dollars

  8. To all those justifying the officer please explain why the BOE refuse to provide transportation based on distance from school? The distance from school is always far more than the distance from a bus stop, if a bus stop is not safe (even when parents could watch from a window) then how is it save to walk to school and just rely on crossing gards?

  9. #4 is right. If you are unable to wait with your child for the bus then make other arrangements. Talk to other parents and coordinate to keep these children safe.

  10. This is the latest example of how much of an upsidedown of a town/city we live in.

    If a child can not stand at the bus stop alone, their is something wrong with the people running our town, NOT the parent who sends their child to the bus stop.

    Instead of this cop trying to secure our town, he’s busy chasing the wrong people.

    This place is head in anywhere, but the right direction!

  11. waiting at the bus stop alone is no good, can we let them bike ride to the neighbors house to play or do we have to watch them go 6 houses down the block in a development????

  12. #10 it is true that it’s sad that we live in a world where a child isn’t safe waiting for a bus to school. Growing up I always walked to school alone, I’d say from 3rd grade on. Where I lived, it was ok.
    While it is sad that this isn’t the case in Lakewood these days, it is the responsibility of a parent to keep their children safe. As a parent, I’d feel horrible if something happened to my child because I failed to keep them safe. This is the reality that we live in, we can’t blame the town or police- it is our job as parents to prevent anything from happening to our children.

  13. At first I had agreed with the officer but when I read comment # 2 I changed my mind. I think he/she has a very valid point. Why can a child walk a mile but not wait at a bus stop??
    As for who this officer was,I have this strange feeling it was the same one that harasses all the shul-goers in the area since that’s where he likes hanging out. One thing I will say is that regardless of who’s right in this case,parents do not watch their children NEARLY enough in this town. I was at the lake yesterday and watched mothers watching their older kids playing with the ducks….and their baby was SCREECHING in a carriage 20-30 feet behind her. My wife told her that the child was crying and she seemed like she just woke up! She was in another world. Not very good to be that way in today’s society.

  14. Some of the positions posted seem awfully convoluted. As children grow, they become more independent. As parents, it’s our duty to gauge their relative maturity levels, and permit this independence or restrict it.

    At what age should a child be able to walk to school alone or stand at a bus stop? Judgment needs to rely on the individual situation and the individual child. Does the child walk to friends’ houses on his or her own? Run errands for mom or dad? Ride his or her bike around the neighborhood? Does the child really understand what nto talking to strangers means?

    Yes, the wold isn’t the safe place that it once was, however, there is no blanket rule for determination of bus stop safety.

    My kids got lucky, their bus driver stops in front of our house by choice – the bus stop is a couple of houses away, across the street. I’d trust both to walk there on their own, if necessary (they are in 4th and 7th grades), and the mother of a family one house away (not crossing the street) is out there with her kids (3 – all 2nd grade and down). When they were younger, I stood outside also.

    These are the determinations that parents must make. Blanket rules (and condemnations) don’t apply.

  15. To #3 (oh Boy),
    You sound like all (moderated) Now how many random child kidnappings are there in the US yearly? You are right, you see it in the news weekly, because it happens only once a week. Devide that by the number of children in the USA, and you get only about one in a million chance.
    Now what are the chances of the child with the mother being hit by a driver who loses control? I think it’s much higher!
    So keep on reading the news, and be convinced that every child is at high risk of being kidnapped, while probably you are convinced that no children die otherwise, as it’s not reported in the news!

  16. Pick up the kids from in front of their homes!! Why should a whole family freeze in the cold or get soaked when it rains? It’s our tax money that pays for these buses, so we should be able to dictate where we want to be serviced!!

  17. absolutely. it doesn’t matter if the child will be picked up in a short time and if she’s waiting in daylight. anyone can pick up a child who is alone waiting for a bus. thank goodness an officer saw the girl.

  18. When I was a kid many years ago (I won’t say how many, but, I am a Bubby now) I had to cross a major intersection and walk a few blocks to get to one central bus stop for all the neighborhood children. No one questioned the safety of that. Yes, times were very different. My children had to walk all the way down our street (I am still living here for over 30 years) which is a very long block, and I let them, because our neighborhood is safe and quiet with hardly any traffic and all the other kids on the block had the same bus stop. (even the non Jewish neighbors, who, by the way played with my kids some times) No one thought it wasn’t safe then. Unfortunately times have definitely changed and not for the better. I am so happy I am not bringing my kids up now!

  19. As parents, we have a responsibility to protect our children. How are people excusing such negligence? It may appear more convenient at the time, but think about the harm you can potentially cause. You may have done it many times before and had nothing happen, but all it takes it one time for things to go sour and for tragedy to strike.

    Is a few moments, or more, of inconvenience worth risking the well-being of your precious children?

    A police officer, a person who puts their life on the line every day to protect the public. This officer, saw a child in potential danger, and acted right away to prevent any harm, and THIS is the person you ridicule?

  20. To #16

    Don’t you think those parents also thought, “it can’t happen to our children, the chances are so low.” Everyone says, it can’t happen to them, until it does. WHY take the chance? WHY test fate? This is a precious life we are talking about. A life that depends on us to protect.

  21. So maybe kids don’t get kidnapped daily, but it can happen. Or they could be playing too close to the road when unsupervised and be hit by a car. So many things could happen there are too many to list. My child is not in school yet so I’m glad I don’t have to worry about balancing her safety with giving her freedom to do things alone.
    For me, the bottom line is that I don’t want to take the risk of something happening to my child. I’d rather be safe than sorry. I may not like it, but this is reality and I’m not willing to leave a child’s safety to chance.

  22. An officer who does not have multiple children at home does not have any business passing judgement on those who are older, wiser, and more experienced than he is. If it is a judgement call, leave it to the parents. If it is a CLEAR danger, interceed. Simple.

  23. #2 you are so right! While I agree that it’s up to parent’s judgement to decide who can wait, once we follow BOE bussing rules, so should our public safety officers.

  24. To Oh Boy #3- Unless you are a vindictive person, you should NEVER call DYFS on anyone. They make a lot of trouble once they get involved with a family and do more harm than good. I know this from personal experience. If you think your neighbor is negligent go and talk to him/her, or offer to help watch the other kids while she waits by the bus stop or you wait by the bus stop. Work something out, but, NEVER call DYFS. That’s playing with fire.

  25. What should a parent do when the older child is already needs to be at the bus stop but her younger child or children who has a later pickup time is not ready to go outside either because still sleeping or not dressed etc.?
    Should she
    1) leave the younger child/ren at home alone and be at the bus stop with the older child?
    2) be at home with the younger child/ren and let the older child wait alone at bus stop?
    3) be at home with the younger child/ren and tell the older child to walk to school instead of waiting at bus stop?

  26. #23, how do you know the officer doesn’t have multiple children at home, and isn’t older/wiser?
    If anything, the officers know better than most people the POTENTIAL harm that could come to a child without parental supervision. and if something was to happen they are the first people that are blamed for not keeping this town safe. Sad that he’s being blamed for keeping his eyes open!

  27. And may I ask who in this town would kidnap a child? Surly not one of the highly religious people that live here. Perhaps a kidnapper would be one of those “despicable” people who are renting in town? If this is true then why are these people allowed to rent here? Perhaps the landlords should check on the quality of the people they are renting to.

  28. 1. If we do house stops for each kid, the kids will be sitting on the bus for two hours every morning and afternoon-NOT AN OPTION!!

    2. Do you think the only safety hazard is kidnapping? What about Ch’V molestation, accidents, etc… (just use your imagination).

    3. Would you ever leave a young child at home alone? If not, don’t your realize that the streets are no different?

    4. The job of our policemen is “To protect and serve” and that is EXACTLY what this officer was doing. Our kids need to be protected too.

    For those mothers who have a house full of kids and can’t get out, why can’t you start a rotation with other parents of the bus stop, switch off with your husband, find a babysitter, or drive them. The policeman that spoke to this little kid could have been anyone prepared to do anything. An ounce of prevention………

  29. Wow so the police are blamed and told not to do there jobs by everyone here and mind there business when they actually try to do something to help, but if he/she did nothing and drove by and something by chance happened to this child everyone would be complaining he/she did nothing and call for and end to his/her career. You never know what could happen to anyone anywhere. Just because you don’t hear about something happening around here.

  30. I have bh many children leaving at different times, so I just spend that half hour driving them, knowing that they got to school safely. Even though my 5th grader thinks he can “be in charge” and walk to the corner with my 7 and 5 yr old, I would never allow it! We live in a crazy world and even though I probably walked myself to school when I was in 5th grade, today its not an option…

  31. Sometimes there is no easy answers. I wait outside with my kids (about a half hour daily) but i cant blame any parent who feels that their child is old enough to wait by themselves. Very often at a corner there are many kids and their parents waiting and a mother may feel that the child is supervised, and then the other kids busses come and go and this child is left alone. I admit it is a problem but lets not make every mother into a witch for rying to balance all her families needs.

  32. children have been taken. It can happen any time any place! the officer was trying to prevent a crime, what do some of you want him to do sit and wait until the child is grabbed then try to find the child? there are no easy answers, and I am not trying to blame the victim, but we/you must be vigilant to protect ourselves.

  33. The cop in this story is 1000% wrong. A child is allowed to wait by a bus stop unaccompanied. DYFS wouldnt even come down for such a case. Sadly, all the older, experienced cops are retiring so there’s noone to give on-the-job-training to the new recruits.

  34. my gosh!!! why does everyone have to complain about everything?????????????????????? what is wrong with people in this town?? isnt anyone ever happy??????? a parent cannot be a parent if they dont do everything they can to protect their own child!!! the police officer was very nice to bring the girl home and only give a warning!!

    to people who are always complaining about this town and wanting to change it all: LEAVE or just KEEP YOUR MOUTHS SHUTTTTTT!!

  35. wow I guess you can’t express your oppion here , I agreed with the officer and that comment was not posted. so much for freedom of voicing ones oppion

  36. People should “mind their own?” We, as a Jewish nation, are supposed to look out for each other. What ever happened to achdus? Do people have too much pride to realize others may be out to “help” and not always out to “get you?” If you want people to “mind their own,” you may be more comfortable living in an area, far from civilization, where you won’t have to worry about any neighbors “bothering” you. This past Shabbos (concerning the missing woman) is a beautiful example of achdus, people who care for, and look out for one another.

  37. #17 do you have any idea how long it would take if the bus stopped at every house? That is why they have bus stops, if you can’t or won’t wait with a young child that’s your problem, I waited with my children so could you and everyone else.

  38. #40, Thank you!!! That’s my thoughts exactly! I’d like to add that instead of people squawking on and on about the BOE & their tax money, maybe…PICK UP THE PHONE AND DO SOMETHING.

    But unfortunately, it seems that more people would prefer to sit and post their complaints on TLS, and hope that eventually, if they keep yelling at a pot of cold soup, it’ll boil.

  39. way to go lpd !!!!!!!!!!
    we need to have someone watch the kids what if a person stops and ask oh which school r u going to and the sick man says i will take with a smile (hey y not ) chas vshalom gogogogogoggo lpd

  40. you know what its time someone step into the board of ed. transportation dept and get things moving htere…..i’m waiting for them to change my childrens bus stop…i live on a corner where many children wait for the bus but the stops given to my children are literally around the corner and they do this every single year!!!….absoultely ridiculous!! and very unfair to my young children.

  41. and again my post was deleted because I said something true about the chosen ones unbelievable. if they didnt take all our buses OUR children would not have to walk a mile or be at a bus stop far from home but since they get bused 2 blocks from thier homes to thier schools and I commented on it of course my post wasnt entered. and I will keep saying it THIS IS WHY THERE ARE SO MANY PROBLEMS IN LAKEWOOD………

  42. Who gets busing two blocks from school??? Never heard from someone getting bused so close to school My kids walk more than 7 blocks to school and we can’t get busing and for ur info i’m jewish

  43. the same child even in primary according to board of ed can walk so of course they can wait at bus stop on corner just another boerd cop waisting his time and our tax $ instead of fiting crime

  44. this is for #5- i dont know where in brooklyn you grew up but when i was growin up in brooklyn there was no door to door service! evry 3-5 blocks had one stop in a central location! and if you would ask the driver to do u a favor and drop your kid off in front of the house cuz he is passing it anyways he wouldnt cuz if he got cought he would get fined!!!!!!!and may even lose his job!!!!!! every child thru 6th grade had an authorized adult waiting with them! you cant take the risk in todays world and leave ur child unattended! and stop expecting everyone else to do your job!!!!!!

  45. The police officer had more compassion for the safety of this child than her own parents, he did the right thing. as far as DYFS not doing anything (a qoute from some cop says”DYFS wouldnt even come down for such a case.”)YOU ARE DEAD WRONG!!I
    I would not hesitate to call them if I saw a very young child left out by themselves with no parental supervision

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