Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg changed his status to “married” Saturday and received over one million “likes” from his followers. But the site he founded isn’t always so marriage-friendly. In fact, lawyers say the social network contributes to an increasing number of marriage breakups.
More than a third of divorce filings last year contained the word Facebook, according to a U.K. survey by Divorce Online, a legal services firm. And over 80% of U.S. divorce attorneys say they’ve seen a rise in the number of cases using social networking, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. “I see Facebook issues breaking up marriages all the time,” says Gary Traystman, a divorce attorney in New London, Conn. Of the 15 cases he handles per year where computer history, texts and emails are admitted as evidence, 60% exclusively involve Facebook. Read more in SmartMoney.
Why is this on the scoop?
This is rediculus. If you’re loyal to your partner, and if you’re smart enough not to talk to randoms then Facebook will not harm your marriage. Facebook is used to connect friends. Friends from high school, friends from college, etc. if you use it for the right intention then it won’t ruin your marriage
In other words divorce has nothing to do with having Facebook but rather the people that are jnvilved
Yes, it wrecks marriages, lives, children etc.
I know because it was happening to me. BH, I was able (with much hard work and pain) to get out before it totally crushed my life, ruined my marriage and destroyed my family.
Anyone who thinks they are immune is foolish.
Easy solution. Don’t make a Facebook page if you think it’s a problem
The answer is YES.
Anyone who thinks that Facebook can never wreck their marriage is living in la-la-land.
Take your heads out from under and face reality.
Of course, admitting that Facebook wrecks marriages would also force us to admit that the Rabonim know what they’re talking about. That’s probably the hardest thing to admit, for many of us.
This is on the scoop because we were all told (by those who are smarter than the Rabonim) that the internet is here to stay, and we need to face this reality and live with it.
So here is some more reality:
A huge percentage of the frum oilam is on Facebook. And Facebook wrecks marriages. Face it!
facebook has caused thousands to go off the derech & tons of thousands of divorces R”L
ERASE FACEBOOK from your life asap if you are to remain married, & erase it asap if your a chosson/kalla BEFORE the wedding & not after when its too late
Facebook is probably the WORST thing that ever came out!!! It ruins marriages everyday! Everyone knows everyones personal lives thru facebook! Sick sick sick!
And that is why I don’t have Facebook,
Why would anyone form ‘unzere’ have a facebook page. What does a frumeh want to accomplish by advertising allah ‘personal’ zachen. It serves no purpose for us and it should be obvius to all that it should not be used. I never had a page as I dont see any purpose in it.
I know of a married woman having an affair on Facebook. Her husband doesn’t know.
i checked, many shaineh yidin are on and i was amazed to see how many friends they have from any gender. Even if it does not shter your marrige it is a huge pirtza in tzenius. For a yidishe woman to post her pic and life online berabim is a shanda and grounds for a get!
# 3
uhhh, sorry to hear that, is so easy to blame someone else for your failures
GUNS DONT KILL. PERIOD! and neither does facebook
I think the article brought up a few good points. Facebook can definitely facilitate destructive behavior.
What seems to be missing from any article or talk, is identifying why some people engage in the destructive behavior and others don’t.
While any individual should definitely approach any use of the Internet with thought and care, I think that people need to focus more on strengthening their relationships and themselves for that matter rather than focusing on staying off Internet, Facebook, etc. If working on themselves means staying off, fine. The root of the problem will never go away if people don’t look a little beyond the superficial and see what really makes them tick. You can scream Facebook and Internet from here to tommorow….but if you don’t take care of the root problem, there will always be another temptation to hide from.
I’m not saying to expose yourself to temptation. If you find boring Facebook so tempting, by all means avoid it! Just again…look inside yourself to find out why you want these temptations? Why is your life not fulfilling without them?
So does same shopping in KRM with the opposite genders
Does anyone in their right mind think that the people who got entangled in affairs on Facebook actually went looking for the affair???
Every one of them thought that they would be able to withstand any temptation. They don’t realize what is happening until it is topol late, and they are already entangled in an online relationship.
Do a google search on online relationships, and you’ll be shocked. A huge percentage of America is suffering from this.
Chazal knew what they were talking about when they prohibited yichud. None of us would ever contemplate being alone with a member of the opposite gender, because we know that as strong as we are, temptation in a yichud situation is stronger.
Facebook is yichud.
You are able to be alone with a member of the opposite gender and develop relationships with no one being any wiser. And then when its too late……. that’s when you run to the Rabonim for help. Of course, the Rabonim can’t do anything about it, because they don’t really understand the internet, as we all love to claim.
Like everything in life could be used for good and bad. Theyre are many inocent MATURE people who use it simply to connect with friends and family around the world! From the sounds of most these comments you people dont even know what facebook is!!!!!! Saying no more fb cos its bad is like saying no cell phones and no computers!!! PLS do yourselves and others a favor to educate yourselves before going on rants! Thank you so much!!
TLS – please post my comment. Thanks.
In the words of Rav Blech שליט”א the internet is a loaded gun, and you should think a thousand times about having it around.
FB is a grenade. Why take a chance?
Who in his/her right mind risks his family? For what?
They should not have invented facebook to begin with
I feel sorry for anyone whose marriage was wrecked by facebook. They must be very weak minded indeed! Facebook doesn’t wreck marriages, people wreck marriages.
My wife, children and I all enjoy keeping in touch via Facebook. And what? Miracle of miracles, we’re not getting divorced and our kids lives aren’t ruined. We’re just enjoying keeping in touch.
Let’s face(book) it! When frum, basically shetered men and women get their eyes on Facebook, the temptations are very difficult to resist. No matter what the reason you originally signed up for. Unfortunately, so many people are feeling that these shallow relationships on Facebook will make them feel better. It could not be further from the truth. People really have no idea what it means to cultivate a real relationship with their own spouse and children. They think that somehow someone “liking” them on Facebook will bring them happiness. So shallow. Time to mature and grow up people.
R Matisyahu told numerous people that when Mashiach comes he believes that the internet will be an amazing thing! It will be filled with Torah and connecting to Talmidei Chachamim! But, right now its full of temptation and no one can say I’m immune.
# 18
how long are you going to live in your box
ATT # 18.
You call yourself – ‘facebook user and proud says’.
If you were really truly proud, you’d post under your real name!
In my opinion, Facebook is something that plays on the worst parts of people such as their jealousy. Most people post things on Facebook to keep up with the Jonses or to show each other up. It has also definitely been a catalyst in the breaking up of relationships. I’m sure that some of you use it to keep up with friends, but that is not what fuels this billions of dollars industry, which in my opinion, is the quintessential example of something that makes money but is in actuality “Eino Oseik Biyeshuvo Shel Olam.” I am therefore happy to see its stock go down on the Nasdaq, and I hope that it falls further. That is my opinion and you are all free to agree or disagree.
Let’s face it. We all mess up sometimes. We all give into temptation sometimes. We’re human. That’s just the way it is. That’s why you better take the ” better safe than sorry ” method here. Is your life so cheap & worthless to you? Don’t you want to protect it from things that defiantly can mess you up. Don’t say your stronger. There were plenty people who were stronger & frumer then you & still got messed up. Is it worth the chance? This is your life, your future & your kids your playing with!! Think what hashem wants you to do. You can defantly live without it. Hatzlacha rabba
Hello Mr.rralist.
What makes you think I’m not using my real name?
Unless you meant to ask for my last name. Which I’m not sharing for privacy reasons.
I see what you r trying to do, you want me to disclose myself and in the process ruin many lives such as mine, my husband, my kids, etc.
Sorry, not happening.
Shaindy, I hope you never realize that Facebook and the like can ruin those lives faster and worse than disclosing yor last name.
THAT, my friend was what I was trying to do.
Thank you for helping me.
So evil goes high-tech social. No surprise. As always it keeps up with the times. Every generation has had it’s battles. They were strong, courageous and ever mindful of the challenges. Stay the course when you’re up and pray when you’re down. The battles don’t go away. Keep your eyes in your head and your tongue behind your lips and we will win this inevitable seemingly interminable conflict of will. It’s a war on morality, you have to muster the stamina to fight. Minute by minute, choice by choice….
For All those who claim that they are or can use FB responsibly, and they feel they are smarter than the Rabbanim:
you are not smarter than Chazal who tells us “ain apitrupus l’arayis”
We all have our ups and downs in our avoydas Hashem, and I pity someone who has access to all these avenues on that down day. Once you fall in this manner, you can have a one way yerida that will effect you, your friends and you family for Eternity (yes, oilam haba).
And I am not just talking, as an askan I’ve seen this already countless times, whether it’s marriages, single adults or teens there is no arguing the reality that I have seen with my own eyes.
Just because till now you have not had a problem yet, who’s to say that it’s going to stay that way?
In fact, if nothing happened yet, now is the time to pull out!
I was not brought up in a frum upbringing, and know the world and have experienced it first hand- and I am warning you, I am not speaking from frumkite. I am speaking from the metzius in the world. And I would tell this to Jews and Gentiles alike.
And we as frum Jews we have more of a responsibility to stay off of FB and the like.
By having a FB page you are gambling your oilam hazeh & oilam haba.
I ask you- Is it worth it?
Ladies & gentlemen,
Internet is a symptom.
We should of course address the symptom, but we must seek to resolve the underlying cause. We are living a rat race.
We need to connect with ourselves, our spouses and our children.
How many of us stop to think about our lives? What am I doing? Where am I heading?
Unfortunately today we are losing touch ourselves and with our families. do we make sure to spend time with our spouses each day??
Are we giving each child the individual positive attention that he or she needs??
Do you take time to play a game with your spouse or kids??
When is the last time you took a walk with your spouse or child (not while on a cell)?
are we living in a non stop cycle of working or learning and only dealing with our spouses or children when there is an issue?
All these people who are falling today have one thing in common, they are seeking love and affection which we can provide for them to begin with. Seek ways to fortify yourself and your family by having a postive relationship with them. It’s not bitul Torah or uncool to invest time into the true commodity that you have… Your family.
Make your Shabbos table an enjoyable one! Have a contest or tell jokes. Of course say Divr’e Torah but make it an enjoyable experience, have fun together. Granted children can sometimes be frustrating, but try and set the tone from beforehand, plan it out.
Like anything in life, if you want a result you have to put in time and effort and this is the best investment! It’s your investment, your investing in yourself and your family.
Don’t do enjoyable things with your friends- do it with your family, with your wife with your kids- include them in your life… they are waiting for you! Talk to them, take them for breakfast sometimes as a family sometimes individually. Let them feel that your proud of them, and if they have a test in life they’ll think twice about hurting or effecting thier family. (like yosef seeing his fathers image and passed his test!) however, if the spouse or child feels there is nothing for the family or even worse it’s an escape from their family, they will fall.
If we can accomplish this and stregthen our homes, we will see all the problems Disappear.
Of course, It’s easier said than done, seek advise from a Rav or mechanech.
I’ve discussed this with Rabbonim and other askonim, and In my humble opinion this is the root of ALL of today’s issues and should be a priority in everyone’s life. Its in our hands to fix it.
Hashem yisborach has given each person a kingdom that he is responsible for, his home. You have the power and job to influence these people positively. Some situations can be already pretty bad, however, it’s never too late… Start TODAY!
Daven for siata d’shmiya! You’ll only be helping yourself. Friends come and go… Your family is always yours. Help them and help yourself.
Gut Yom Tov
Teach the wifes to pay attention to the husbands