Authorities this morning are investigating a Shul burglary that occurred overnight in Lakewood, TLS has learned.
The burglar, or burglars, made their way into the Shul sometime overnight, and broke into a safe. Amount of proceeds are unknown at this time.
Lakewood Police and CSI are investigating.
At least give us a street name.
The 3 W’s to good reporting – who, what, where.
The burglars reportedly left a note by the door saying: “Please don’t ask why we burglarized a synagogue of all places, because the answer is pretty obvious. The synagogue is the perfect place to rob, because immediately after the robbery, we pray to the Lord that we don’t get caught, and we feel secure in knowing that we picked the pefect place to pray, and that the Lord will surely answer our synagogue prayers.”
Upon reading the note, one shul member commented: “This is crazy! These thieves just robbed a shul safe, and then they leave us with THIS ridiculous Purim drasha?!”
Several minutes later, the aforementioned shul member found a new note by the door that said: “Excuse me, Mr. Shul Member, but surely you’ve heard of the Joker and the Riddler, haven’t you?”
I don’t think “proceeds” is the correct term…
Using the word “proceeds” makes it sound like a business deal.