Authorities Investigating BB Gun Shooting in Lakewood

Authorities are investigating a BB gun shooting in Lakewood, TLS has learned.

According to preliminary information we’re receiving, it appears was shot into a residence in Lakewood.

There are no reports of any people struck.

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  1. When asked whether members of his gang typically shoot bullets into peoples’ houses, like the bow and arrow and BB gun fellows, who seem to shoot their arrows and BBs into peoples’ homes, a local gang leader told reporters on Sunday: “No we don’t make house calls. But you can certainly drop by our office, and we’ll shoot you there if you prefer, or we can gun you down in the street, if that’s more to your liking. But we don’t make house calls; there’s simply not enough of a demand for that kind of personal service.”
    “However,” he said reassuringly, “if we DO see a demand for that kind of personal service from our victims, we’ll definitely start making house calls.”
    “After all,” he added in a comforting tone, “we’re not just aiming for our targets, we’re aiming to please too.”

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