An issue which needs addressing

This has nothing specifically to do with the month of Elul. This is for all year round 24/7!

I was parked in a handicapped spot with a handicap license at a local store and I could not even get into my car, as you can see from the photo attached. For approximately 15-20 minutes I went from store to store with great difficulty asking whose car it is that was blocking me.

When I finally found the owner and told her that, first of all, her car door was open and then that she was parked at such an angle that I couldn’t get into my car, her response was, “Well, the car that was parked there before was also at an angle!”

How does one wrong justify another? I told her that I was looking for the car owner for 15 minutes already and she just brushed it aside and took her sweet time until she was finished. What type of “mentchlichkeit” is this?? Unfortunately, I find this happening much too often!

Maybe, besides parenting classes, there should be courses on how to be considerate of others!

Signed: a concerned Lakewood resident

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  1. “HER” car sounds the main trust of this complaint.
    It could of said the car owner, the owner on anything else without identifying the owners gender.
    And this is also a yearound or a lifetime problem.

    • And Mr, Anonymous

      Would you explain how it is a problem that he said “her” car?

      Do you think this is somehow a condemnation of women everywhere?

      How do you even know that the author isnt a woman themselves?

      Sheesh, SJW coming out swinging!

  2. For several years I have been thinking about taking photographs of all of the various versions of inconsiderate parking that goes on around town.

    I believe many yidden in Lakewood lack a basic awareness of others.

    Everyone is in such a frenzy taking care of what they need to do, there is a total disregard for how their actions impact others.

    Thankfully Lakewood has a tremendous amount of Chesed and Many selfless people helping others.

    • Idiotic comment. “Lakewood people are idiots but they do chessed”.


      I also see cars parked like the one above, or the person who squeezes past you when you had the right of way, just keep in mind that there are generally another 20 – 50 cars in the lot, or on the road.

      Dont just look at the small percentage and define an entire group of people that way.

    • Maybe you should leave your name, so that when people need a place to hear lashon hara they can call you and get the rundown about everyone who made a mistake that day regardless of possible extenuating circumstances.

  3. i had a similar experience with someone who parked at an angle so that it was impossible to open my car’s door. when the driver of that car arrived, she had to do was move her car about 12 inches forward to clear my door. first she insisted in putting her kids into their car seats and putting her shopping into the car as well, all the time saying that she was sooo sorry for inconveniencing me

    • Unfortunately the ‘person’ (As per Anon above) involved didn’t feel it necessary to apologize for me waiting 20 minutes for ‘them’ to show up so that I could get into my car.
      I agree that there is so much Chesed that is done for so many people all over and Mi Kiamcha Yisroel!! But sometimes just basic awareness of other people is just overlooked. We are all busy and are all running here and there and chasing our tails. Just please try and treat others like you’d like yourself to be treated,

  4. People do this in all the different busy parking lots around town. They often take up half of the next spot, making the next spot unusable. Really selfish.
    I also see people parking in handicap spots in front of stores, at schools during PTA, at daycares during pickup…. Totally inconsiderate. I was handicapped at one point, and quite a few times I didn’t find up-close parking (or none at all) in slippery rain and snow, putting me at much more risk than necessary.

  5. She was definitely wrong hands down. But all you holier than thou comments are uncalled for. This is an issue we all need to work on in some form or another

  6. Just wanted to point out that 99.8 percent of the time cars are parked perfectly- as a matter of fact, I’ve lived in Lakewood for 12 years and parked a few thousand times and it never happened to me! So while yes it may happen on extremely rare occasion, and people should always be careful, let’s not make it sound like everyone spends their days searching for people in stores!

  7. I was once parked at a local store and when I came out of the store someone had parked so close to my door that I had to climb in from the passenger side and when I tried to back out, the only way I could do so was by brushing against her car and scratching my mirror on her car.

  8. Playing devils advocate:
    I think what she meant to say was that the car on the other side was parked at an angle so she could not park straight. She did not mean to leave the door open, so she thought there was enough space for you to get by. Generally Handicap spots have more space so you should also practice parking in the middle, you likely would have been able to get in and out. Also, it would have taken you less than 15 minutes to just go in on the passenger side and hop over to the driver seat.

    • HAHA! You really want the hadicapped “human” as per anon above, to hop over seats?!?! did you miss the part that the hadicapped human said it went from “store to store with great dificulty” probably because said hadicapped human was in perfect shape, not.

  9. Yes a very sad situation this has become and in regards to this I welcome you to today’s generation. The gemerati where everything is ME ME ME AND ONLY ME maybe if I have some extra time I’ll think about my spouse, neighbor or friend etc…

    Very sad…. This is middas sedom and we need to remove ourselves from it immediately and instead always be thinking about others and taking others into consideration before doing anything. Let us ask ourselves before we do something is this going to affect someone in the wrong way? Would Hashem approve of my parking ways and values or talking in shul values especially when others are watching me and I’m a role model parent and leader etc….?

    • I imagine you are saying this sarcastically, when someone causes you not to be able to leave your space for fear of damaging his property, the geneivah is on him, not you

  10. Rabbosai

    Let’s not confuse Chesed & Yosher!

    Let’s also not loose focus that thousands of acts kindness can not substitute acts of “Azus”

    One has nothing to do with an other. Just because we live in a community where the oiylom does tremendous amounts of tzdakah vechesed doesn’t allow us to act how we want. And every time someone mentions people acting this way everyone comes out swinging the same old defense of “mi Kiamcha Yisroel” card!
    It’s enough already with the excuses. It’s time to own up to your actions. And even if one makes a mistake or unfortunately acts in away That’s selfish at first. When confronted, please admit your azus show & express genuine regret. Don’t just brush the person you Bavilt away or Just say oh “I didn’t chap” what kind of excuse is “I didn’t chap” and be aware of your surroundings.

    When it’s Bein Adom Lamokom we all know we can’t do Teshuva by telling Hashem “we didn’t chap”

    Somehow when it’s Bein Adom Lachveiro we think that’s an apology?

    May we all be zochah to a Shnas Geulah Yehoshua!

  11. I want to say one thing in defense of the “selfish” lady! Many times a previous Parker parks incorrectly and the only alternative is to park aligned with the incorrect car. Many times there are no other spots… I try to mindful of others when parking but sometimes I have no choice. A while back on a very busy erev something or other there was one spot left in the parking lot- but the guy( generic – don’t know the gender) on my left parked into my spot so the only option was to park on the white line to my right. I tried very hard not to be so close but impossible. When I got back to my car, the neighbor to my right was yelling at me . I tried Explaining why but I couldn’t bec she was ranting- mind u in front of her teenage daughter… much for ‘Judging favorably’ lesson . Point is- many times it’s unfortunate but not always a lack of other pples middos

  12. Many states have reconfigured their handicapped parking spaces. Recognizing this problem the new spaces take up two parking spaces so that the vehicle is parked horizontal rather than head in. It’s something to consider.

  13. 11:27PM aka Sammy…
    It is not written anywhere that women can’t be biased against other ‘not mesheloonee’ women.
    Which seems to be the case here.

  14. I think it would be easier to shop at a time when it’s less crowded and if possible, park far away from other vehicles to avoid being boxed in. Also, take advantage of street parking instead of utilizing parking lots, too. A blessed 5781 to all of Klal Yisrael.

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