A Misaskim Volunteer Writes

As a Misaskim volunteer, I am at the frontlines and dealing with the multitude of tragedies in recent days.

Misaskim, here in Lakewood and in other locations, has been inundated with calls and emergencies.

With an unprecedented amount of niftarim in such a short period of time – and dozens of young, innocent yesomim added to our list, it has been a very tough week at Misaskim. Misaskim’s mission is to alleviate tragedies with compassion – which is ever more important at a time where the traditional sense of shiva is not fulfilled. In addition to ensuring kvod hameis – each niftar has a family that he or she leaves behind, who need comforting in such trying times.

Recently, our mission went from difficult to impossible.

The coronavirus – along with the self-quarantine and isolation requirements – became a cause for sensational news and social media obsession. Everyone wants to be the first to declare “Breaking News,” and boredom generates tumult and gossip.

In recent days, Misaskim was called to notify family members about the passing of their loved ones, only to discover that the family already found out via WhatApp – without the available support or crisis intervention team.

In another disturbing instance, an unsubstantiated and inaccurate message went viral about a woman supposedly in critical condition – whose husband passed away merely hours before and was not even brought to kevurah yet.

How can we properly assist in the grieving and healing process if a young almanah or family of yesomim sees such a message? Our comforting presence, promises of assistance, and hours of hard work of planning and logistics gets canned in an instant.

I am reaching out today to ask for your assistance in helping us fulfill our mission. We do not expect everyone to witness tragedy the way we do or enter into quarantined homes to assist bereaving families. We do not even anticipate you to pay a personal shiva call because of social distancing and in accordance with the פסק הלכה of our רבנים. However, you can fulfill the mitzva of nichum aveilim by waiting before forwarding a message, by stopping the spread of false, unsubstantiated posts, and by refraining from commenting carelessly on news websites. Instead of being the first to know when someone passed away, be the first to say תהלים, accept upon yourself a פרק משניות, or make a phone call – in a sensitive and respectful manner – to a bereaving family member.

In this zechus, may we be zocheh to the prophecy of ישעיה הנביא that בלע המות לנצח and may we merit to eat מן הזבחים ומן הפסחים speedily.

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  1. This letter is so to the point cannot be stressed enough STOP THE SPREAD OF WHATSAPP the families are suffering enough do we need them to suffer more by all this social media, and especially false posts? Do the right thing and DONT FWD JUST DAVEN!!

  2. By trying to be the first to spread the news
    #1 it may not be accurate info
    #2 family may not have been notified yet.
    #3 NOONE will remember that you were the first to “break” the story. The only ones that will, will be the immediate family that found out as a result from your msg. The harm caused by that can and WILL last a lifetime. Just wait for the news sites to post. The lakewoodscoop is known to verify that it’s public information prior to posting.

    THINK BEFORE YOU POST if it’s really worth the risk of the pain you may and likely will cause a family.

    May this disease pass very soon and all those sick should have a Refua shleima

  3. I, as a Misaskim volunteer couldn’t agree more. Everyone, please think before you post. Stay safe. All the niftarim should be a meilitz yosher for Klal Yisroel.

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