As an administrator of a local mosad, I feel compelled to respond to the mosad bashing seen often here. My apologies if people are hurt by my letter. I try very hard not to hurt the feelings of prospective parents. My intention is to share the other side of the story. Unfortunately, there are some points that parents aren’t willing to understand.
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Many yeshivas will have more applications than desks available. Therefore, not everyone will get accepted — not because of hashkafa, but simply due to space.
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Schools generally cater to a specific clientele. People choose to send to that school for that reason. If they want to maintain that status, they need kids from that background. In my school, I have accepted a number of growing parents as well. My parent body has been receptive, as these parents won’t go against the hashkafa of the school.
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If you don’t subscribe to that hashkafa, there are schools that cater to your hashkafa — whether it’s balabatish, Chassidishe, Yeshivish, etc. Many parents present themselves as anything to get their kids into school. Please be honest. If we have Klei Kodesh parents, and you are a super balabatish person who isn’t willing to go with our standards, you’re rejecting us — not vice versa.
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There is a big difference between people not being able to get into any school at all — which is unacceptable — and insisting that only my school is an option. If you were rejected and spoken to horribly, it’s unacceptable. I’m very careful with my words. I’ve found that parents will make up anything when they get a “no.” I never give a reason why — it’s either there is room or there isn’t. Parents have tried to manipulate my answers. Unacceptable.
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There are many parents who have zero intention of changing their lifestyles or hashkafa when applying to schools. The mother who wears a long sheitel and has a short skirt can’t have a complaint in our school — yet many do. They view themselves as Yeshiva people who are open-minded. They are in fact Modern Orthodox in every way, shape, or form. The father who has no Rav, proudly boasts he doesn’t have an internet filter, and is on Instagram with immodest models showing how his business is doing — he is also doing it to himself.
Yes, there are great people who can’t get their kids into schools, and it’s not acceptable. We do need more schools to be opened, and I do feel there are people who are rejected for no reason. Additionally, I’m intimately aware of executive directors who don’t treat people with the respect and dignity they deserve. I will never say that’s acceptable — it isn’t!
The point of the above letter was just to show you the angle of the administrator — not to minimize anyone’s pain who’s illegitimately being rejected.
May Hashem help all His children get into school quickly and painlessly.
TLS welcomes your letters by submitting them to [email protected]
My biggest gripe is with schools that don’t respond. Every application deserves a response even if that response is just a letter that says we are sorry we cannot give you an interview at this time. the schools that don’t have the decency to respond Have a very basic lack of respect for Human beings
In theory it sounds very nice. However,my sister wasn’t granted a proper interview or consideration for her oldest child by any Yeshivish Mosad. She is main stream yeshivish. No short skirt or other Tznius issues. Yet no one would talk to her. The Vaad was no where to be found. Didn’t even return her calls for assistance. Therefore, I don’t buy your response. Until everyone accepts that majority of children can be taught Torah on the correct level, and become true Bnei and Bnos Yisroel. No matter what the parents dress style is. I also don’t believe a single Mosad would turn away a Gvir who doesn’t meet their Tznius standards.
If your sister is the same nut that u are they shouldn’t take u. You are the guy that acts like a moron and expects you to be accepted.
My sister is better then 99% of Lakewood. She is better then you in every way shape and form.
Disagree with u. You say she is ok. Probably was a big issue with her. If she is just as rotten as you they are very right for not accepting her.
“I also don’t believe a single mosad would turn away a Gvir who doesn’t meet their Tznius standards”
100% wrong.
A couple years back I arranged a meeting between a girls school that was struggling financially and a Gvir to see if we could help them out. At one point during the meeting the Gvir asked the Rosh Mosed it would accept his granddaughter in to the school, and the response was “no”.
The Gvir was surprised, but took it in stride and still helped the Mosed.
I’ve seen similar interactions since.
The sooner people learn to self select the schools where they fit in, the less drama there will be. (This alone can’t eliminate all drama, since the demographics don’t align…)
גאוה גאוה גאוה
If the kid would of been your son or daughter you also wouldn’t accept these answers,
Schools only want to accept the bnei aliyah, than they squeeze the working people like a lemon for money,
If you only want a certain haskafah people only collect money from that haskafah style people. You can’t have it both ways to build nice buildings and wear a big frack
Love the hate. Since when are they obligated to take you? School are private. If you don’t like it make ur own.
I don’t know about that, Jacob.
I’ve seen quite a few school administrators and Roshei Mosdos take it on the chin when their cold was rejected for one reason or another (and sometimes no reason).
People who are rich generally support all types of mosdos. Not just the ones that take their kids. For example There are gvirim from teaneck that donate to Chassidishe mosdos. West side and 5 towns have as well gvirim that have zero intentions of sending their kids to a school here but will donate anyway. So your facts are wrong big time.
Can you be more specific?
Which “type” “fits” in YOUR school , and which does not ?
Sheesh
That’s what I was told. We’re not the right fit. I wish the school would explain to me what makes someone the right fit is
HORIBLE. NO EXCUSE TO HURT SOMONE IN THE PROCESS.
Long skirts aren’t welcome. We only accept people on bmg. Not just any kollel. We have the best ingredients in our school but turn out awful products.
So short skirts no good according to mr Mossad admin, are long no good either?
Very well said
Ooooh!!, great click bait, This will definitely get a lot of comments, I guess I’ll be the first one to start
All Jews are created equal, but some Jews are obviously more equal than others.
ha. no, all are created equal, but some make different choices than others
100%, midnight!
there’s actually hierarchy in Judaism. Think Kehuna, Melucha…
Thank you for proving the very point of all of those of us who find the school situation to be incredibly ridiculous. No where does it say in chazal to look on instagram and sift through inappropriate information. Who do you think you are? How about do whatever it takes to help a child get a frum education (one that doesn’t include adult men perusing other people social media accounts, or measuring and weighing the shaitels and skirts of women). How does one so incredibly lack the self awareness of admitting that they do this stuff when deciding on whether or not to accept a child into school. You are corrupted. You have this new self righteous self appointed self made rule of what’s ok all in the name of “chinuch”. Sadly, you also would gladly accept the big donor check from a parent even if you know he spends his time on vacation eating,drinking, partying , and who knows what else. You have no morals. You have no guide. You have nothing but a position in which the main point is the job and institution. Not daas torah and not Halacha. As R Shtienman put it best “GAIVA, GAIVA, GAIVA!”. I happen to personally know of two separate occasions of actual daas Torah and gedolim, who asked for a child to be accepted and were rebuffed by people like you in these schools. So give me a break and spare me the “other side”.
you are dead wrong,
In chazal it does say to be concerned who your students are, and to “distance” oneself from people who’s behavior is….. unsavory
A child of 4 isn’t unsavory. The child can be taught to be a truen Ben/Bas Yisroel.
Once upon a time, when the parents were cluless and knew it, it was possible to teach kids to become bnei torah.
These days, we’ve all gone through the yeshiva system, think we’re the real deal, and everyone “better” than us is either a fanatic or a baal gaivah. Our children are much harder to reach and impact to grow into true bnei torah.
This, more than anything the administrator has said, proves his point
Right. That’s why all schools that have a open door policy here struggle and or close. I think you should send to those schools. You are OK if mother has no tsnius. Father has unfiltered internet etc. Go to your types. Normal people care about hashkafa of the home. You don’t. Send to a coed day school for that price.
Guess what buddy, majority in Lakewood have mart phones, or phones with text that aren’t properly protected. You have no idea when you walk down the street who has what. Your Charvusa might be struggling with the worst levels of shmutz, but since you don’t know it you think he’s perfect.
You obviously didn’t see that i take in growing families. I also stated that there innocent families left out. My point was to show you that there are different points to consider. Not to minimize illegitimate denial.
Majority denial and non response to applications and calls from applicant parents, are either illeggitimate or lacking basic Midos. Thus it’s completely wrong. Just bvecause there are times it’s kosher, doesn’t absolve the majority when it’s lacking basic Midos.
The only middos you care about are other peoples.
When a RY asks someone to accept a child, they’re not usually giving a psak or a demand. They’re doing their part to help people who asked for help. The director on the other hand has to do what’s good for his mosad and his talmidim. So they say no sometimes even to Roshei Yeshiva. I don’t think the Rabbonim feel slighted.
Thank you for your letter.
It’s always important to know the other side.
Yet as someone who has been through the rejection process in the past (BH currently in schools that we are very happy with) and as someone that has put tremendous effort into helping kids get into schools both elementary and high schools im the past I’d like to respond.
1. Of course there is no room. Yet somehow there seems to always be room for those with money and those with the right connections or parents. Maybe try to fill the classes first with regular kids, from regular homes that aren’t special. You may actually end up with some amazing star talmidim and talmidos that would otherwise not have been given the opportunity to shine! Save some seats for the financial supporters and B’nei Chashuvim and make sure to turn some of them down due to space constraints as well.
2. Of course you need to keep a certain amount of similar type within your mosdos. But many that aren’t accepted are not anti establishment and although may not be AS yeshivish, they still are Torah minded and would like to raise their children as true bnei Torah. Im not talking about the long shaitels and short skirt fams that won’t conform. I personally had an administrator tell me that a girl would not be accepted because she isn’t the right type and other families would “pull out”. I asked if the administrator if they met the girl or family and they said no. They just heard. At the end of the day we found out that all the schools were hearing a motzi shem ra that someone was spreading and it was not even the right family! So give them a chance. Additionally, remember that most of our parents would not have been frum, let alone yeshivish, if the Bais Yaakovs and Yeshivos told them you’re not our type. My parent’s trajectory would have even been public school had they not been openly welcomed by the yeshiva system. Their parents conformed to the system and they now have many eineklech that are truly b’nei Torah. I dread to think what my family would look like today had the menahel said sorry, your family is not to our standards….
3. Im maskim. If you want to have your children join the school, you must be willing to conform.
4. True that so many ppl insist on it being the school that THEY choose only. But sometimes the schools that they manage to get accepted to, really are not a good fit for them or their child and they really just want to have a place where their child will fit in. But manipulation is horrible and no school should be manipulated either.
Both sides need to give and take.
We need to cry for every child that is left wifh NOBODY that wants them until they know that they are wanted ans loved and will bring great things to the school.
5. Similar to #3 – Maskim. All the way. But honestly so many of the rejections are NOT this category too. Theyre just simple people. Too simple. Not name worthy or money worthy and get pushed to the back of the line.
We need to do better than that.
One school I applied to (this was awhile back) told me that theyre not even taking my application unless I have connections.
Look out for the little guys, k?
Theyre the ones that suffer in silence.
The idea that people with money should be treated the same as everyone else is just communism. Believe it or not, schools owe their existence to those who pay for them, and have no right to claim equality to those who help their existence.
Some of the biggest supporters of most of the Mosdos in this town, don’t even have children in the schools they are supporting
Yup. However if schools have a open door policy parents won’t send there. We aren’t living 50 years ago. People aren’t willing to be in a school with different hashkafos. Those tolerant schools often can’t fill classes. The newer schools don’t need pull or connections. If you truly care about erluch houses then when there is a new school that is equal you will join right? Nope. You are anti establishment but Part of that same establishment.
Guess what? You have no real isea about other peoples Hashkafos. You see what they show you, not what they believe. Like the old joke used to be, turn the Bava Basra upside down Bava Kama backwards Bava Metzia stick out 2 inches, out comes the television.
So would u send to a school that accepts everyone? From your other posts it seems that a open door policy wouldn’t work. So the only 2 facer we see publicly is you. You want everyone accepted but won’t send there.
I’m saying don’t base it on outside looks, but on reality. I do everything with guidance from one of the leading such people in America. No one in Lakewood comes close to this person. Just for your miniscule brain to understand, I’m talking about Harav Avraham Schorr Shlita. Lakewood has no one that comes to his toe nail. Just ask any of the BMG Roshei yeshiva if I’m right about my guidance coming from this Gadol. Lakewood is made up mostly of outside looking chashivus, but inside they are kol kullo gashmy.
You’re confusing Shmendrik with shmendrik
Ok. The parents that value our school and hashkafa have kadima. Period. They too often need connections. I’ll explain why. This year in our school we had 75 primary openings. We also had on top of siblings and donors applications 500 applications. Its impossible to sift thru. Whoever we knew thru our board and staff members got kedima. We filled up very quickly. Many school do. It’s not these parents are better. We have somone that can vouch. There are schools that are building more tracks. You should reach out to them. We aren’t necessarily rejecting you for any other reason.
So be honest and answer. Don’t ignore the application. Don’t not call back. I had someone reach out to a school in a different town for a family we knew. The person with pull was told that this family wasn’t their type or yeshivish enough.Guess what? That person was more Yeshivish then 50% of the new families that were accepted that year. Vouching for someone shouldn’t be enough. You should actually know the people and meet them before trusting your board members.
Ok. Shmendrik. Who says this family was a match for the school. Ha ha. You don’t know the first thing about chinuch. Second every school looks for references and somone that can vouch. Third schools don’t need to respond to 1000 plus applications. In my school we have a auto respond that states the following.Thanks for applying to…. at this time we are overwhelmed with requests for applications. You are welcome to fill out a application using our link. Please be advisedthat if we have room we will contact you. Right now its a waiting list only.If we feel that a person is a candidate we do our research prior to meeting them. The meeting is just a confirmation. People still are upset. Can’t make all happy.
Mentchlichkeit dictates, Middos dictates, that when someone calls to check on the status of their application they get an honest answer. If you can’t do that, quit your job.You’renot worthy of calling yourself a Mechanech. You belong in a public education system, not a Torah based education system. Torah starts with Middos. hashem made clothing for Adam and Chava. No middos, leave the system. Checking references is nice, if they actually know the person in question. As someone posted on this thread too often rejection is because someone had the wrong information.
Where do u have the chutzpah to ask super yeshivish schools to take in kids that rent as yeshivish? if you are more with it go to your type of school. i don’t get it. its a self made crisis by some. Brisk rejects ever year. we know not everyone is cut out for it. Yet people shtieg in many yeshivos. why are you insisting that they wont learn torah because a specific school didn’t take them nonsense. if you say that people that match are being rejected that’s unacceptable. be emesdik. We arent allowed to expect others to take us in if we don’t fit the schools standard. Parents say no before schools do many times.
Brisk isn’t rejecting a 4 year old, that hasn’t started learning Alef Bais yet. Most that are rejected aren’t rejected because smeone knows facts. usually it’s based on theory or Lashon Harah.
The point was missed moron. Age has nothing to do with it.You can’t say I won’t shteig unless I learn there. If u feel a 4 year old will only be matzliach in your school of choice please head to the nearest psychiatrist.
You missed the point. There’s no reason to reject a 4 year old outright. That happens way too often. And it happens often to an oldest child from sevsral Mosdos. There are very few that apply to only one school. Those that do are elitist and don’t count. Majority apply to multiple schools. A bachur old enough to be traveling to Eretz Yisroel, should be able tolearn anywhere. If he can’t learn in almost any Yeshiva, then he doesn’t belong applying to a place like Brisk. Even a super star Bachur needs to be able to learn anywhere. If he can’t then he’s realy not a super star.
It’s for sure that the Mosdos are not the source of the problem.
The problem is that the Mosdos and Yeshivah are not anymore here to serve Torah and Hashem.
They are here to serve their cliental,
We are in a Matzav of a Childish and a stupid culture that everybody wants to box themselves into a better type.
We don’t have anymore the old Hungarian Yid that all he wants is to be “part of Klal Yisruel”
We have a Town is sorry to say “Wannabees”
I want and I am the type of Chushive Bnei Aliyeh ben Torah crowd!
I am the real Balbatish Bnei Torah but not modern, but not nebbie!
I am the better rich crowd with fancy car but we like Torah and host Roshei Yeshives!
I am part of the educated so called out of the box crowd,we learn our shierim from of the box rabbis and Rabbinom,our kids are all much into sports and wear sweatpants!
And the list goes on and on,
A community of types that everybody is sure that his type is the elite in the way he calls elite, and the other ones are not the ones I want to be associated with, and I don’t want to send my kids in a school that has that other type, who is more nebbie then me or more modem then me.
Who are the ones that are struggling?
The Ehrliche families who live a true life and not boxing themselves into a Type,
The modern family will say they are to nebbie,the yeshivsh family will say they are not True Bnei Torah,
This family is usually the families that have kosher money, he never gave those big donations, but he is paying his vendors and workers on time.
Those ehrliche non Type box families are the ones left out.
Elitism and גאווה is the source of all the problems in this Township,
I had my גיהונם on this world with Schools,Yeshivas,Camps,
I finally got my Kid into the camp that heard that my kid is to open minded for them, when my kid arrived to the camp she called me telling me that the kids are way to modern for her, and the snobbish elite girls are making a horrible environment in camp,
And this camp was told by two anonymous school staffers that my girl is not suited and to open minded for there camp.
We are our worse enemies,
This township has become a place that it’s all and all about Money or connections, having pull with this Yeshivah and that Seminary.
The Lakewood kids are all considered the biggest snobs in all the camps,and the hardest to get along.
We need a big wake up call.
There is a few schools and Yeshivas who are still here for Hashem and for his Torah.
But most is the Schools and Yeshivas are here to feed the need for elitism,
They are picking money and Connections, and feeding the need of the parents who send there that are in a need of being elite, and being to do a Shidduch with that other elite guy and family, and further strengthening the elite status of the family through being zich Mshadech with that other elite Guy.
And so the שיגעון and stupidity keeps on growing.
We need to come back to basic Yoddishkeit to culture ourselves with ממלכת כהנים וגוי קדוש there is no such a thing as a “plain yid” and our speciality is not our connection to bla bla, “its our connection to Hashem.”
ואתם תהיו לי ממלכת כהנים וגוי קדוש
I
Can u please tell me why you don’t enroll kids in a day school? They teach torah too. Let your child be exposed to all that’s there. After all you have no issues.
how could kids be too modern. you just put your kid in a box. so you can decide a kid is too modern but they cant decide that you are too modern? are u a cancel culture guy?
Ummm
Ya
As a parent who has lived in Lakewood for over 25 years, I’ve watched our community grow and evolve. I’ve had children in various schools throughout the years — but today I feel compelled to speak out about a school that truly stands out, yet is painfully underappreciated.
Bnos Basya is one of the few schools in this town that truly opens its doors with love — to every type of child, without labels, judgment, or rejection. It’s led by the same Rabbi Bender from Far Rockaway, a man known and respected across Klal Yisroel for his lifelong mission to embrace every Yiddishe neshama unconditionally.
But despite all this, the school is struggling to survive. There simply aren’t enough parents willing to send.
Not because it isn’t a good school — in fact, it’s a warm, value-driven, sincere mosad with tremendous heart. But because too many parents are chasing a “name”, trying to get their daughters into schools that look better on paper, even when it’s not what’s best for the child. Parents are ignoring what their daughter truly needs — all in the name of status and image.
I have my youngest child in Bnos Basya, and I’ve seen firsthand the warmth, the individual care, and the real chinuch being given. But unless something changes fast, this incredible school will likely have to close next year. And that would be a tragedy — not just for the families already there, but for our entire community.
Lakewood — we must do better.
If you know a parent looking for a school, or unsure where to send — please urge them to consider Bnos Basya. Don’t let this mosad close because of superficial fears. This could have been — and still could be — one of the most beautiful, thriving, and accepting mosdos in Lakewood.
Let’s stop turning our backs on the places that live the values we claim to believe in.
— A fellow Lakewood parent who believes in every child
I find your comment in number four pretty interesting. You state that you just give a flat no without giving any reason, you just say there’s room or no room. But then you go on to say that there’s all kinds of reasons for your rejections. So what do you expect people to think when they get a no, and then see other people getting in so obviously there was some room, and the true reason is hidden from them, so how can you blame them for trying to interpret and make up stuff why they were rejected. Maybe if you were a little bit more forthcoming with actual reasons why they wouldn’t fit, as painful as it is to hear, maybe they may be more receptive. Emes may go a long way in improving our trust in the system.
Schools don’t owe you answer why. If u have a self esteem problem that’s your issue. It could be space. It could be hashkafa. You still can’t lie when u don’t know.
When my neighbor who has hashkafa of a sewer gets in, I’m entitled to know why? Don’t tell me that person is better then me, if I know facts about him.
You mean the way u feel means it’s true. Your a real babby. It’s not your school. They decide who has good hashkafa. Judging from your disgusting attitude and comments from all posts they have every right not to accept you
I’m confused about a couple of things.
First of all, when did this concept start that every parent has to do things exactly based on the school rules. They need to agree to have the child follow the rules, but what is it the school’s business what the parents do? There are community schools such as Bais Yaakov of Baltimore that take children from all kinds of families and that doesn’t stop the rebbeim and Kollel Yungerleit from sending there. And the kids turn out just fine and go on to to the same seminaries as the Lakewood girls and to raise the same kinds of families. Kids can understand nuance and that not everyone is like them. the main thing is proper chinuch at home.
Secondly, I have been wondering what would happen if I was unable to get my children into school after much effort, and I then enrolled them into public school. Would the askanim kick in to “rescue” my child and suddenly miraculously find a spot. I’m curious….
How could compare a community where everyone is taught individuality is key to a community where everyone is fixed on their derech. BTW here in lakewood The cheder has all types of parents. They still do screen and reject parents that don’t meet standards. Can’t compare
The Cheder definitely had more of a variety many years ago, when I was there. Not really today. It is now one of the most elitist of them all.
BTW, after my Cheder education, it’s a bit hard for me to answer the Captcha question here
7+8=????
Thank God for calculators
One fact you are missing is peer pressure. In out of town places it’s not the same. Everyone is respectful of others derech. Here it’s not. Therefore the ritzy girl is here to show the nebby girl how to shop,vacation and spend. In Baltimore there isn’t much tolerance for that behavior.
That’s part of the problem, peer pressure. The only pressure that should exist is the pressure to be the best possible Jew. That’s what exists out of town. Torah and Middos first. Everything else comes after. Torah doesn’t mean the most riggorous level of learning. Torah is to be taught to each child on their level. There’s a reason Rav Shteinman called some rosh mosdos Baalei gavah. For their need to be seen as saying the highest shiur i the world, rather then being worried about teaching like the Torah says, Chanoch L’Naar Al Pi Darko. Anyone who thinks they know how a child will grow based on an application, or their parents, has as much knowledge of chinnuch as they do about how to be the biggest oved avoda zora for all types simultaneously.
You are a narssastic brat. You believe people owe you to take in your kid. Who are you? Some random guy who believes that the school that he wanted didn’t take him. Yes the biggest proof is you aren’t willing to be in a class as a mechlel shabbos. If you woul u can try any school. Fact is the parents who send to a specific school send there for a specific reason. Do u respond to each phone call and email that people send u? My guess is not
You are more than welcome to go to the bais yaakov handbook and tell me if they allow everything. They don’t. They have standards too. Secondly can you please send to any of those schools in nj that don’t care about homes? There are many modox ones. Please go there. You’d dont decide the hashkafa of a school. If parents want that type and the schools can fill up with them they don’t need to accept you. There isn’t one central school in lakewood. There are many. So they don’t need to take you.
I’m more concerned about who they accept. They will take girls from super modern homes, knowing that they will be able to properly educate them.
If the main argument was lack of space, I can accept that. However, once this elitism comes in, disguised as “wanting to protect the kids” that is where things have gone wrong.
BTW, no responses to what would happen if I enrolled my kids in public school.. I’m really curious…
As a fellow administrators i want to comment. The schools have a right to run on a certain hashkafa value system. They don’t owe anyone the right to accept your child if they feel uncomfortable. Secondly, many parents are stuck on one school only. That is your issue. There are newer schools that are equaly good. The fact that schools take anyone with money is false. Yes if the parent has money and is equally qualified then we’ll take them. Lastly, all schools that have a full open door policy in lakewood aren’t doing well. Why are the bashing parents not sending there? Probably cuz you agree a full open door don’t work. Lastly there are innocent people getting rejected. That is not acceptable. We need to work together to help them
That’s exactly why 2 open door school called bais yaakov of…. closed. Great staff. Our demanding open door school parents didn’t send there. Why? Because you also want to be with a certain type.
Honestly, public schools are better than dealing with this discriminatory nonsense.
Why don’t u send there.
It’s so interesting. All the complainers would not even think of sending their kids to the schools that have a more liberal acceptance policy. Why not ? Obviously they only want to send to the same elite schools that they complain about. A bunch of hypocrisy.
Its sad as I am sending my youngest child to rabbi Benders Bnos Basya high school here in Lakewood and was speaking to Rabbi Bender this week and he was lamenting the fact that Lakewood doesn’t have the Sechus to appreciate such an amazing school and thay he will have to close next year if he cant fill up a new 9th grade. Its really heartbreaking as my daughter loves the school!!!. Rabbi Bended doesn’t even live in lakewood he was trying to help out the lakewood school situation but you can’t help people that dodnt want to help themselves. Please notify anyone thats looking for an amazing school to contact Rabbi Bender his phone number is (moderated)
Just curious. Is it a open door school? If yes than he gets tons of schar but little parents. Hes an amazing mechanech who will get tons of schar.
Its not completely open. Unfortunately it will probably close because Lakewood is obviously not interested in such an amazing school. You cant help people that dodnt want to help themselves. For me personally thus worked becuase its my youngest child that will be graduating next year.
Rabbi Bender is one of the most successful Mechanchim in the Northeast. The reason he’s not successful inLakewoodis because you’re all a bunch of fakers. More concerned about kavod then Torah. I have watched this in many of my friends, relatives and common folk people. They go to lakewood and think they are gods gift to humanity. then they talk kefira and am haratzus every time they open their mouth. Zero knowledge, yet all got into BMG freezer, kids in school etc.
And you don’t send ur kids there! You are part of that establishment. You have the same problem. We all complain and create the problems
There are people that have offered to make schools that would be welcoming to all. Then there would never be any child turned away. They were told that such a school woukd never get a serious enrollment as oat e it’s only want to send to schools that are exclusive and don’t just take anybody. So who is being exclusive , the schools or the parents?
This is the most important comment in this section!! The people “waiting to get into a school ” don’t wNt to send to the open all inclusive schools! So this is the yachids problem. In no way is it the schools problem! We as parents rely on the school to accept people with the same hashkafos, goals and homes etc. We prefer not to put them In a situation where all the kids are wearing tight pants (boys) and my sons will not. It says to surround yourself with good people. Obviously good has diff definition to diff people.
As someone who works in a school, I know first hand that people are accepted to schools, but they don’t want to go there. Why is it the onus on the school they want to go to, to accept them? Why don’t they accept the school who is taking them? Hmmm letter writer. Something to think about
Do you throw the families out when one of the children show up with tighter pants, or some other possible infraction? Probably not. Then you say the child is having issues and it will resolve or some other excuse. It’sall baloney. BTW, I’ve been to lakewood numerous times, the Gashmiyus in Lakewood and not just the style of dress has turned Brooklyn into a Kodesh Kodashi.And I’m talking areas of Brooklyn and NYC where goyim are the Majoority, so tznius and Shmiras Einayim requires lots of work.
It’s amazing that u just dropped a great piece of info. You aren’t from lakewood. OK. So you are an outsider who feels he knows us. Your a confident ignorant person.
I agree 100%. I bh sent my youngest child to Bmos Basya Rabbi Benders school but he is struggling and will be closing if he doesn’t get more girls for next year. Its really sad. If you know someone thats looking for an amazing school with full of heart and yudishkeit have them contact Rabbi Bender at
The reason baltimore is matzliach is because there is only one Bais Yaakov elementary. So all types go there. There other options are chabad and a coed school. The people who send to bais yaakov there want that education and respecti t. Those that dont send to the other two. people who don’t have that hashkafa are honest and send where they belong. The person that has tsnius issues won’t send to by. She will send to her type of school. Here in lakewood we have it all mixed up. The modern want to come to Yeshivish. Hardly a comparison. Get real they are emes oriented people. You are not
There aren’t MO in Lakewood looking to send to main straem schools. Many in Lakewood apply to several schools and don’t get called fro interviews for Pre school. I posted about my sister, who applied to multiple girls chools for her pre schooler. Not just one, but multiple. There’s absolutely no reason even when she called for an interview, and they were already full she wasn’t told the emes. Out of town children are taught Toras Emes. They are taught to love and cherish. Recognize the difference between right and wrong. In town, BTW that includes many Brooklyn Mosdos as well, don’t believe in any of these basic tenents of Torah. they teach and accept for their own kavod.
I think because you live in Baltimore, your “elitist” radar is broken. Or at the very least you have become desensitized. This is a very good thing.
I don’t think you realize that many of the girls that you say are a good fit for BY Baltimore are exactly those that can’t get into Lakewood schools because of some tiny nuanced differences. That is precisely the point.
As you say, parents who want the BY education and respect it should be able to send to the school, even if they themselves don’t meet every single criteria.
Hey so basically what you’re saying is then in Baltimore everyone agrees to have one standard and go to one school but in Lakewood we are willing to do that biggest proof is everybody wants their kids to go to a specific set of schools so it’s not all like Baltimore in Baltimore they’re happy with who their neighbors are regardless of how religious they are here you want to get into a specific School and you’re not getting again not the same chances are the schools will you really belong to are willing to take you in but you are insistent on specific schools you create your own mess no one’s going to help you pick your pants up and go on
It’s not one central school. There are other options that have opened up for those seeking a frummer education. No the modern yeshivish guy does not send to the heimeshe cheder unless he’s growing. The myth that one school everyone is happy can be evident by yeshiva people creating their own schools once there is enough people and money.
You forgot about Bnos Yisroel girls school. There is also another girls’ school set to open this year or next. There are quite a number of boys’ schools that have opened in recent years that serve all members of the community. Baltimore’s shul are the same. The diversity is a beautiful thing to see and be part of. Why is Lakewood considered the epitome of all things that are acceptable? If it’s not working for you or your family, you need to move away! Plenty of other places to live and raise a family. Every time I read these letters, it makes me glad that I raised my children in Baltimore and concerned about my children who are currently raising my grandchildren in Lakewood and its environs. Seems like such a mess that will never get solved.
Bh we are opening a new high school in lakewood. If the mother is jewish that is good enough. You don’t need to keep shabbos or kashrus. We don’t check your internet filter. We don’t care if you have a rov.Free Tuition. The principal is a open orthodox trans lady. We know we will be full very quickly. There are many parents that want a school like this based on the comments above.Please register your child thru the lakewood scoop.
This whole concept of I’m a black Hatter but don’t behave like one is a Lakewood New Jersey issue. These parents are essentially modern orthodox but believe if they have some Yeshivish part themselves and align themselves with the yeshiva community. Not the young israel. In brooklyn it’s way easier to get in to schools. Not every school will take you. But you get in easier.
Not true. Many are main stream yeshivish. lakewood is about kavod and not Torah. I recently heard that Reb Aaron Schechter ZATZAL was in Lakewood and was with Reb Malkiel touring BMG. He told him that BMG is a gathering place where people come to learn, but it’s not a yeshiva. Something along those lines.
Ok. You aren’t real. People living double lives in lakewood is very normal. Many lite yeshivsh people. As a therapist i counsel these people.
They really don’t have enough space.
We applied to a school where our siblings sent and are involved in the school. 2 days after we sent the application and we realized that our friends had gotten interviews there but we hadn’t, we called up. The principal said, ‘I had no idea you applied! Why didn’t you call earlier?’. Since we have a common last name he hadn’t recognized that he knew our family. He was very apologetic but he had no more slots. We ended up sending to a less popular school, in which we are pretty happy.
Most schools are maxed out. You really need to know which school would be a good fit for your family, where you know people who send, and push with all your might. Have anyone you know who ever sent there mention your name to the hanhala. If no one there knows who you are, don’t expect to get an interview.
I herby call upon shmendrik to open a school that accepts everyone.
this is a game of garbage
I could not get my kid in anywhere because i was working – was told to my face
but the second I offered money yes $$$$$
everything changed
another lakewood ponzi
yeshivish does not equal Yiras Shomayim
New school opening
in order to be accepted all you need to have is a huge house long wigs lots of money lavish vacations go to Israel sukkos and pescach and mid winter in austarlia watching kangaroos
dress well wife should wear tight clothing
fress Mikes chicken and eat out in Tomohawk a few times a week.
Hi Lakewood that’s what you stand for – glad I don’t live there!!!
from the outside Lakewood looks a town Of nebach cases – really sad you people dont see it bec your in it.
when you stink you dont smell it!!
Your Loshin Hora stinks horribly!!!
The reality is I am not even sure how many of us can even afford private tuition many are struggling to cover basic expenses!!. Guys let’s refrain from Talking Loshok Hora let’s jsut focus on the topic in a respectful way!!
Why does the Lakewood Scoop publish this drivel?
Defending the indefensible is almost worse than the cruelty itself.
Having recently firsthand witnessed a two year admissions saga come to an end the day a millionaire became involved, I can’t stomach the publication of this letter.
As a father of 5 girls and one that’s OTD I’m laughing.
One can do all the hishtadlus they think must be done.
In the end hashem decides…
So I’m laughing at you all for thinking you’re immune to any child OTD.
Oh and two of my boys are in the so called “alef yeshivas”
Let’s be fair. The author clearly wrote that people are bieng rejected wrongly. He was stating points that are all true. Space is deff a issue. People aren’t honest with their types of homes their from. Schools do have a clientele. Don’t forget there is a reason you want a specific school. There are also parents who have no intention of shtelling tsu. Lastly there are definitely parents that will be accepted to a particular school but choose to be rigid and want their way. Is there anyone challenging these thoughts? Prove me wrong
Just as a side note. It’s not just lakewood. Detroit has a main yeshiva bais yehuda. Then there is darchei torah for real Yeshivish. So it’s not just lakewood. Not every community is willing to have one central school. Same is in Chicago. There is the main school and vietzner. Very few large communities have one school for all. The reason why many send to one community school is because of lack of opportunities. It doesn’t mean they all approve of the clientele.
Agreed. There was a heimeshe cheder built in baltimore a couple of years ago. Same as Chassidishe cheder in Los Angeles. One school is when there is funding for one school. When people want to up the standard and get money they make their one. Additionally, people are real and no where they belong. I will say that they do accept growing yiddishkiet parents quicker than lakewood schools.