A Lakewood Rosh Mosad’s suggestion to ensure each girl has a school

The following letter by a Rosh Mosad in Lakewood and obtained by TLS was penned to Roshei Mosdos in Lakewood.

L’chovod Choshuvah Roshei Mosdos,

It is the eve of the first day of the new school year.

We are zoche to have the opportunity to run beautiful mosdos. We stand for kovod shomayim every day, 24-7. We all just endured a terrible period of global pandemic. It would be tragic if the only thing we took out of this experience was our PP loans, lunch money and other financial benefits.

Boruch Hashem, the vast majority of girls in Lakewood have been accepted into elementary schools. Unfortunately, as the school year is set to begin, there still are eight or nine families who have yet to receive an acceptance into any school.

Each school in Lakewood has the ability to take in one of these children. Even if one might believe that it is a risk to accept any of these girls, it is a guaranteed avlah not to. This challenge is worth fighting for and worth devoting our energy to. There are no constraints on what 30 mosdos can accomplish together.

We are all in this together, in a unique position to assist the few families who are stuck in this difficult circumstance. The one path we should never choose is the one leading to despair. The cost of compromise in the name of achdus may be high, but as members of the Lakewood community, we have always paid our dues. Acting as a team, we can easily solve this painful problem. Yes, we have an achrayus to our parent body, but if all 30 schools work together as one unit, our parents will get it. Besides, spreading achdus and acceptance is good for everyone.

What a great Kiddush Hashem there will be when we ensure that every girl is placed in a school as the school year begins. It is in our power to accomplish, and it is not difficult for us at all. This is a question of just 8 or 9 families.

If we would take a mere ten minutes to join together, we can have every girl starting the school year feeling like a mentch. It is incumbent upon us to sit down and make a gorel that will place each of the remaining girls in a school.

We owe it to our community, and we owe it to ourselves, to do this before the school year starts. It is very scary to think of the pain, stress and humiliation that we as Roshei Mosdos cause parents and girls to suffer when we fail to do the correct and proper thing. 

The preservation of the dignity of these families is not a matter of chessed or tzedakah; it is common sense.

I humbly request from everyone to please reach out to R’ Aron Londinski, who is working tirelessly under the auspices of R’ Menashe Frankel. He can be reached by texting (moderated) to confirm participation in this vital meeting asap. Of course, if anyone has a better, more practical option to achieve the same results, please share it.

The goal is that IyH by tomorrow afternoon the latest, these parents should be able to purchase uniforms and appreciate the result of our joint efforts.   

Tizku L’mitzvos,

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  1. It’s unconscionable that schools open when there are families without schools. Speaking from experience. I just wonder why this did not happen last year when so many families were suffering.

  2. we need to have more Ahavas Yisroel , Enough is Enough. Let’s put or big egos aside, and start caring for these kids and parents. Why should these kids and parents have to go through such unnecessary
    Pain. We need to care about all our brothers and sisters in Klall yisroel. All those with answers as to why this Acurs year, after year, after year, are part of the problem. There’s no reason this should happen. if we all truly cared about these kids and parents we would have come up with a solution. I beg and pray that after 120 years the rosh hamosdos will have good answes to answer the ultimate Judge, and if they do, then Kol Hakovod. Hatzlacha Raba to all these precious kids. Bezras hashem I beg and pray that this issue should never acur again. May the geula come speedily so that all the suffering will come to an end. AMEN. Whishing all my brothers and sisters a Kesiva Vechasima Tova.

  3. I guess all the Gedolai hatorah that we lost in the past year including rabbi gissinger whos yetutzit is right now meant nothing. We don’t learn from our mistakes. How many more COVID deaths do we need too we finally wake up and say. Maybe we should change our ways. And not let these young innocent children suffer just so you can say we only take the best.

    Shame on all the mosdos for letting this happen…

  4. I wonder if this Rosh Moissad is also gonna take in one of these girls. Maybe he will.
    But his solution is not so simple.
    Very easy to say but not so simple to do.
    Would you want ur daughter to have a classmate whose family values differ SIGNIFICANTLY from yours ?
    This is a public, family venue so I won’t go into details. I will say my daughter is an assistant Minaheles at a local elementary school; we’ve discussed this issue at length. Its very, VERY complicated. To sit back and say, OK – every school just take one of these kids – is grossly understating the issues at hand.
    Kudos to R’ Aron and R’ Menashe for working tirelessly, not to mention thanklessly, for the benefit of our precious neshomos.
    Hatzlocha Rabbah to all.
    Hatzlocha Rabbah to all.

    • Blah, blah, blah. Igrew up in Queens. We had a spectrum of kids. Frtom the most yeshivishe families to the extreme YU families. And guess what? The yeshivishe stayed yeshivish. The YU stayed YU. And the rabbeim managed to impart hashkafa without any parents yelping. Stop with your non sense. If your daughter thinks the way you claim, well maybe it is time for her to get an office job and not run a school. Lets stop this corruptness

    • I grew up in the Midwest, & it worked out just fine when you had different types of families in one class.
      In fact, everyone gained by being together.
      I can’t think of anyone who suffered in their Yiddishkeit because of it.

  5. This is a fabulous idea. An act of achdus like this, can save a family from bizayon and rejection.
    All the communities look to Lakewood as a role model and the positive results of a gorel would be felt worldwide.
    This may be the hamtakas hadin that klal Yisroel is desperately seeking.
    A Ksiva Vchasima Tova

  6. Although I agree in theory to this well written letter, I must admit that I don’t understand how we expect schools to take in these children when some of these mothers dress extremely offensive to the very ideals that the schools are trying to embed in their talmidim/talmidos. It would be great, & I believe that there still should be a day school in town however, it’s been a while since the local day school shut down. Now I am all for diversity, however these schools are privately owned( that’s a whole different conversation), & they have their clientele & mehalech in chinuch. I honestly don’t have any good suggestions…..

    • And the children should suffer and not get a proper chinuch because of the sins of their parents? Take the children and teach them the proper way and pray for their parents.

  7. Nothing will happen if your daughter has ONE girl in her school with values that are different than your perfect home. We all grew up with a variety of classmates and it probably made us better and stronger people. And Yes. I do think he will take one of the girls into his mosad

  8. I just spoke R Londinskey when over all the names out of school .especially this year it’s really beautiful families that can fit into any school please we beg the Rosh Hamosdas where is the heart where is the simple echrayas what are you going to say in the next world
    We beg and beg

  9. This year there are no tzniyas issues other years there are
    Some of the kids are weaker others just no pull but they can fit in with any group let’s get this done
    Where begging

  10. I would like to share with the oylom, which expresses concerns about some girls , perhaps being somehow of a negative influence on their daughters;
    There is a video of Rav Aharon Leib , i found it also in youtube, where some askonim, or menahalim present him with this exact question;
    The ‘title’ of the video : “yiras Shomayim ! It’s Gayva! Gayva! ” a real eye opener; He also speaks about related issues regarding the Brisker Rav; and all said with a shmeichel; really keday to watch
    A gut gazunt Yor;

  11. Well I would like to start like this tell this rosh moisad that if he truly cares so much and there’s no harm by taking them in then step up to the plate don’t just make others the bad ones thank you!!!! And also these people that are not in schools there must be a reason being that there’s only 8 family’s and nobody should forget Lakewood is a a city called AIR HATORAH for a reason and being that this people don’t live up to our standards there’s no reason that the rosh moisdas are bad people for not taking them in. that person I see on the street wearing a sheitel that’s down to her waist and her skirt that barely covers her knees and stuff loke this etc. HAS NO PLACE IN OUR CITY DONT COME HERE AND RUIN WHAT R AHARON MADE so no we will not make ourselves crazy for them
    Hope you understand!!!!!

    • With all due respect this is not what reb aharon wanted lakewood to look like. He wanted a small town where you sit and learn for a few years and then go into chinuch. The fact is that reb aharon left white plains shortly after opening the yeshiva. He said the town was to big. the amount of people that lived in white plains back then couldn’t fill the bais medrash hayashan let alone the rest of lakewood. Lets stop acting all high and mighty in lakewood we’re all yidden and that is all that matters. anonymous

  12. The Gedolim who came to America after the war did NOT look at the mothers, fathers, choshuv not choshuv and for sure not at their bank accounts. They took the talmidim/talmidos in with love and open arms and many of them became exceptionally great people and future leaders of Klal Yisroel. HKB”H closed the mosdos b/c we act like dayanim, He closed the shuls b/c we don’t stop talking in person and on the phone during davening. We are having problems with making ‘normal’ weddings b/c pple do not know when to stop spending. Gevald! It is Elul. The Pandemic is not over! PLEASE let’s wake up!!!!!

  13. This year is VERY different in that the majority of girls without a school only moved to Lakewood in the past few months! There is a huge argument amongst the schools regarding the mass exodus from NY especially after this past year. Is it the Lakewood schools responsibility to accept families that move before getting their kids into a school the week before school starts? Yes they are good families and are coming from good schools but both sides have valid points…

  14. All 8 families out of school are living here from the day they got married none of them have tznias issues some have learning challenges others no pull wont be an issue in any school

  15. The average Rosh Mosod does not realize the pain these families go through. They are living in a different environment than the average family. I truly believe if they would contemplate and try to see things as a parent, we would not have this problem. Rosh Mosdos and principals and teachers please see this issue as any parent would not as a business decision.

  16. There needs to be a fund set up.
    If a student can’t be successful in class it costs $40/period or $1600 annually to have a private tutor instead of that class.

    Schools should be able to accept everyone and be provided with $5000-$10,000 (3-6 periods) to have a kid who needs it do 1-1 learning instead of being in the classroom.

    It’s just a question of $80,000

  17. I happen to know the writer of the letter. I’m really not sure if it was meant to be public. Either way yes he did accept from these as recently as Sunday

  18. One shouldn’t move to another town without first ensuring a place for his child in their schools. That being said, children need a school. Sometimes kids have to be bused long distances to go to school. There are schools in nearby towns that might accept children from Lakewood.

  19. Sympathy has no place, as there is room for sympathy on both sides of the issue.
    Achrayus for Klal Yisrael has no place, as there is room for it on both sides of the issue.
    There is only one question here:
    Who should bend for whom?
    Should the schools bend their standards of what is acceptable dress and technology guidelines etc. for the sake of the innocent talmidah, or should the parents bend their standards of dress and technology guidelines for the sake of their daughter?

    • I understand your point. But what you mentioned is not the true issue. If having children in your school who do NOT YET meet the high standards of the school is so dangerous, then why is it that money and pull makes a big difference.
      It seems that compromising standards is not so dangerous when the family involved has wealthy grand parents or some other source of income for the school. Lets be totally honest, the real concern is that each school is terrified of being deemed “that school.”

      • There are numerous cases of children who have plenty of money and are not accepted because of the school’s standards.
        Even in those cases where the parent’s money does make a difference, that does not prove that the school is insincere in rejecting students who don’t fit the school’s standards.
        Money is a very important factor in chinuch. Without financial viability, the best-intentioned school cannot function optimally.
        A school has many critical needs and those who make decisions for the school’s benefit may decide, on a case-by-case basis, to bend the standards for the good of the school.
        But to accept a student who will only compromise the standards of the school, and not contribute anything in return – why? Why can’t the parents bend their standards?

  20. Hi
    So you’re so quick to assume the families who are not in are messed up, less frum, or weak.
    I PERSONALLY know a few of those not in and I can tell you one word. TOP. Top people. Normal healthy frum smart Lakewood families. Yeshivish. From Lakewood families for years. Parents in chinuch. Loved by their students. Loved by their neighbors. Their co-workers. Loved by their former teachers. Spend good part of day learning and doing chesed. Probably more frum than most of you. Adorable delicious pure children. Stop judging . Seriously. Make believe corona taught you something or make believe its Elul at least.

  21. I just want to point out to everyone to feel these girls pain. I often see the argument where you say don’t be picky and send to a new school. This holds very true for kindergarden children. However, these are 9th grade teenagers who are mature and grasp whats going on. Now put yourself in their shoes. All their friends got into top school A and you tell them don’t be picky, attend nebach school B. How do you think this teen feels? Like loser and failure? Yes as an adult we may get it. We know its not the childs IQ or personality that’s a failure. Its simply a space issues and those with less pull etc.. often don’t get in. But the child all she sees is she is less than her friends. This can be so detrimental to her growth (who knows if lo alinu can trigger OTD thoughts.)

    I do not blame rosh hamsodos. They have no room and demand is so high. But realize the solution is not shtip in a new school. These are human yiddisha kinderlach.

    Some solutions may be to open new classes in existing schools. (Add a trailer if you have no room). Or tell existing elementary schools to open a HS. Like this its not a “new school” which is hard to take off. but realize its a problem please

  22. In the times we were growing up the “Modern/YU” families were not “rebelling”. This is the way they were. Plus they didn’t look so “cool”, they were a little nerdy (jc Penney party dresses with shells underneath type. Frizzy loose hair. Sandals with socks. Etc.) even if they weren’t so tziyus (I have relatives like this…my parents were not afraid if we hung out with them.).
    Nowadays these “Modern” types are dressed to kill! They are glamorous, dressed completely inappropriate (skirts that don’t even attempt to cover the knees) & they ARE rebelling (a lot come from yeshivish families). I have relatives like them too & I’m weary when my kids come home and ask me why their cousins do xyz when we or their shared grandparents don’t.
    Teens are very vulnerable and are drawn to “coolness” no matter how strong of a background they come from. The more kids like this in their class the scarier it is.
    Why don’t the families bend to the school? Why do the schools bend to them?
    We applied our daughter to a school that fit her (she’s a trendy, but tziniyusdik girl) even though “prestigiously” we might of liked another school.

  23. Dont make assumptions. These are NORMAL FRUM FAMILIES. Everyone so quick to judge. The problem is they didn’t have the “right pull”. Many many ppl who dress in ways You may not agree with send to schools in lkwd! Comical u think otherwise

  24. I grew up in a large community back in the day. My school had a handful of Chasidish, large groups of Yeshivish and Modern-Orthodox at varying levels, and even some Non-Frum.
    Amazingly most kids turned out the way they were raised at home.
    Diversity is a wonderful thing when done in the limits of Torah. To ban a child because of their Mothers Sheitels or the technology at home or the Father wearing a colored shirt is surely not making Hashem proud of what a wonderful people we are.

  25. If one can afford it, Biezrat Hashem, Baruch Hashem, I think home schooling is the answer to not being accepted to a school. Definitely worth a try. Wishing all Klal Yisrael a mazeldig 5781!!!

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