The recent measles crisis in the Jewish world has brought to light several issues related to our communities which need to be addressed urgently. As we are all aware, the measles outbreak currently raging through the New York area and beyond has left a very dark mark on our ability to ensure the safety of our children and those most susceptible to serious infections such as measles.
The anti-vaccine movement in the Jewish world is particularly vocal and the fact that the latest outbreak started in our community is not a surprise. This small but very dangerous element of our communities refuses to accept the long-standing halachic position that rabbonim rely on the input of physicians in matters pertaining to health. Almost all physicians in the Jewish world have worked closely with rabbonim when assisting them in making important decisions regarding health matters. I don’t ever recall a prominent posek declining conscientious medical advice when struggling with difficult decisions. Vaccinations has virtually 100% unanimous agreement amongst physicians and rabbonim, a true rarity.
In the past year since the most recent outbreak of measles, many families have approached physicians and rabbonim as to how to deal with family members who are part of the anti-vaccine group. In many cases, those who refuse to properly immunize their children have become irate when told that they cannot attend family events or simchas considering the risks to young children and pregnant women. Even school exclusion has put pressure on some families as they push back against this important prevention policy. I have discussed this issue with physicians and rabbonim in recent months. The consensus is that families should do their utmost to protect their precious children by excluding those who refuse to immunize even at the cost of certain family disruption or strife. This is unfortunate and, in many cases, has even caused shalom bayis issues between husbands and wives when there is disagreement on immunizing.
It is for this reason that I am suggesting what is obvious at this point. When looking into shidduchim for your grown children, it is truly incumbent upon us all to ask whether the prospective family has any issues with not properly immunizing. While this sounds drastic, it will save many families from the pain and suffering of a shalom bayis issue between couples in the near future. I believe that we as a community are now in almost unanimous agreement that families who choose not to immunize should not be allowed into our schools and certainly should not be welcomed into families who choose to correctly protect their children from terrible preventable diseases. This simple common-sense approach will certainly be met by further hostility from the anti-vaccine movement in our communities. Please take this into account when looking into shidduchim for your children. My experience in advising families is that if the question is met with suspicion and hostility, walk away from that shidduch. Families who continue to not follow conventional medical and halachic advice on vaccinations should simply find others who agree with that position to marry. As in all critical matters, one should consult with a Rav when working through these sensitive issues.
Stuart H. Ditchek, MD,FAAP
Board Certified Pediatrician
yeh sure, like I’m gonna turn down the top bochur that was redt to my daughter after being in Shidduchim for 2 years so I can make a statement!
Time to grow up & realize that while we dont always agree with one another – we still can have shalom. (Its the people who create Shalom Bayis issues out of disagreements who I’ll turn down for a Shidduch)
I actually know someone who had shalom bayis issues because they did not ask beforehand and one spouse was antivax and refused to vaccinate.
Me, if you feel that way then obviously you don’t think it’s a critical issue of pikuach nefesh if someone doesn’t vaccinate. In that case, it’s true that it you should go through with such a shidduch suggestion. However, for those who feel strongly that vaccinating is a pikuach nefesh issue, maybe this is a good suggestion.
of course.
Me – it’s people like you who don’t Vax. If the guy is a real Top guy, he definitely would Vax!
Who said anything about making a statement? The author was just saying that it should be something discussed and if a person isnt listening to Daas Torah than they should find a shidduch with someone who is on the same page regarding this topic.
Open your eyes and see what this has caused. Your putting those who have no choice at risk. Think about it, there are people that medically CAN NOT get vaccinated and it’s the people like you that dont seem to care about it. Seems like common sense isnt so common after all
This is pure common sense.
We do Dor Yeshorim, etc….
This is another item that can cause serious issues later on in marriage…
Plus, being anti-vaxxer tells alot about the person’s way of thinking…
It is my experience that the ones most passionate about not vaccinating are the female in the relationship. Some husbands go along with it, for whatever reason, but he is not the one that is the driving force behind it. Therefore, it will not be necessary to turn down the top bochur due to this issue. Most bochurim don’t have an opinion one way or the other. His mother might be a different story…
Even if this supposed top bochur is a passionate anti-vaxer, why is it any different than turning down a bochur just because he smokes? Many girls turn down suggestions for that reason.
You are right , 90 % of the time.
To all those anti vaxxer, you have it yourself out of the norm!
You are YiotzeminHakllal!
You should look for shidduch from the same group as f people.
I agree 100% I don’t want my kids to marry someone who will poison my grand-kids. Is it a co-incidence, trusted this MD with my 1st kids, boy do I regret it.
We all know how objective pediatricians are. They wouldn’t have a job if it weren’t for vaccinations.
so silly!
Great article, and important to keep in mind. As a parent of a child who is medically unable to be vaccinated, and we have to keep isolated from any possibility of measles, this year has been beyond difficult and frightening for us so far.
Putting others is danger and selfishly not caring about anyone else, like anti vaccers are proudly doing, is definitely a middah you don’t want in a future spouse.
Refuah shleimah to your child. Do you keep him away from recently vaccinated with live vaccines . MMR-V & flu-mist ?
In my opinion, this suggestion is quite farfetched. Anything that’s important makes for good dating conversation. Smoking, exercise, vaccinating, if something bothers you – discuss it. Most kids in shidduchim have no opinions on vaccinations – they are just echoing their parents. Hatzlacha rabba on adding another prerequisite to the Shidduch criteria.
IYH when they have children – if their child has an averse reaction to it, they might rethink it. Most people vaccinate their children until they have a very good reason not to…
“should protect their precious children by excluding those who refuse to immunize”??????!!!! I thought we are protecting our precious children by immunizing them, and giving them the vaccines!! If vaccinating my child is not protecting them, that is enough of a reason for me to decide not to take a chance with possible adverse reactions to a vaccine that only works if we exclude healthy people who were not vaccinated.
Also, he is a doctor, and his expertise has nothing to do with shidduchim or shalom bayis questions.
Dovor poshut
These antivaxxers are segregating themselves from Klal Yisroel and for the sake of Klal Yisroel should be kept away from
Very sad but there is no choice
Why do we need to read more of this ….
Another MD who probably “never saw” any serious/life-changing vaccine side effect in his long and very successful career, is telling everyone who has their vaccine related doubts to confirm or else. Why is this news worthy?